


-A Time Before Now-

by Nerdyxwitch



Category: The Walking Dead
Genre: AMC, F/M, Pre-Apocalypse, Walkers, Zombies, daryl dixon - Freeform, the walking dead - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-06-28 04:03:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 32
Words: 103,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19804339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nerdyxwitch/pseuds/Nerdyxwitch
Summary: -Book one-Before the Apocalypse, she was just Blake Holden. Before she was Blake Holden, she was Blake Spektor. That's when Daryl Dixon knew her, and she knew Daryl Dixon.Of course, they had other names to refer to one another. Both hurtful and kind.So this...Is the TIME they met, and BEFORE they fell apart.





	1. -WarmWelcome-

Packing everything I've known and loved wasn't the worst of it, it was refreshing to think that there was something else than starting here in Connecticut and moving off to Georgia to be with my mother and her family. 

Long story short, the custody battle took far longer to explain. My stepfather being in the military and all, my real father is a drunken idiot. It had me floating around the system, but still having contact with my mother. If anything. It taught me not to rely on people. And that is exactly what I'm doing at the moment. Bought my own air ticket with the money I saved up waiting tables and fixing bikes, everything I could possibly do in a foster home before being shipped off on a court order.

Having my headphones at full volume while reading the crummy magazine in front of me I just hold back everything I've loved about this state. My upbringing might not have been great, but the state had nothing to do with it. Every piece of evidence my father had against him was corrupted, however that had happened. 

The plane ride was exactly 2 hours and 11 minutes. But with the added delay, I was sitting on that plane for a good three hours, and I never did well with sitting still. Taking my time to go through customs wasn't as stressful, having my large headphones in. My light flannel around my waist, my tank top allowing the air conditioning to break through the sweat. Getting from one place to another, just waiting for my two suitcases to come through. 

My backpack was what held the more important things within it, passports and whatever else I deemed important. The two suitcases lugging behind me now, my plan was to go off and find a taxi. Thinking my mother was busy with my half-brother Mickey, meeting him is just a reminder of what my life could have been.

Had I had the right father.

Coming around the large white wall dividing the arrival and the departing, I see a man holding a sign reading 'Aurora Blake' is large letters. Knowing full well that this is my step-brother, Jarod. "Aurora?" He asked, taking my large glasses from my eyes do I just chuckle. The rise of my nose just had him tilt his head. "Blake...Only mom can call me that." "Fair enough." He says, trying to take a reach for my luggage. Took me by surprise considering the fact I've never met him before. 

Internet history and whatever my mother has told me about him was clearly not enough to state that he seemed nice. Nice enough to take one of my larger suitcases. Before leading me out of the airport and to the car. "She makes you come down?" I asked, trying to make conversation. So I know what to expect on the car ride over. "Volunteered, that and my friends wanted to know what my sister looked like." Taking a loud deep breath in do I sigh, guess this is what the school year is going to be like. "Junior right?" "Yea. Sadly enough." "Don't worry. School's pretty small." Putting one earphone into my ear do I continue to follow him to the car, not being in the least bit surprised that it was a truck. Luckily he didn't put it on the bed of it, instead, he pulled the back door. Revealing a booster seat, guess this isn't his car. "I drive him to daycare in the morning." Nodding like I had asked the question, did he take the other case. Lifting it as easily as my pathetic backpack. Passing him by do I make was way to the passenger seat, waiting for him to turn on the car so that the window could be rolled down. Not knowing how long he's been waiting made the car hotter by each passing second. "Not used to the heat?" He joked, preparing to pull out of the parking spot. "Give me a few days," I said, rolling my eyes at his attempt to be rude. I had the wrong idea about him, entirely.

Silence from there on out, I liked to pretend to listen to music, so that if he did want to start a conversation then it would end up me hearing him and deciding whether I wanted to respond or not. A strategy that usually works well for me, but he didn't even bother. Until we rounded near the neighborhood. "Thought you'd want to see the school." "You just wanted to see how your team was doing without you." His laugh rang through as he slowly drove by the practice. I knew he was a jock, the pictures on social media took that right away. "Looked me up...Didn't you." Nodding while looking at just a few of the people I'll be meeting throughout this year, did I realize it was already late fall. And I will have no time in being the new student. Rounding about this small neighborhood, where it turned out to be a driveway every few given miles did he finally decide to enter one. The long dirt road led up to a vast area, beginning with trees and ending with a farm. Missed that in my search.

He took his time parking the car perfectly near the house, before jumping on out. I too did the same, but looking at the perfect little white house in this plot of land was much more than I would have expected. "Mom wanted to surprise you." "Surprised." Slamming the door back did I go to the back seats. Grabbing my backpack and the smallest piece of luggage that he couldn't get to in time before rolling off to the house. "I think Mickey is down for his nap right about now...So we gotta be quiet." "Aurora!" I looked on over to my brother and chuckled as I saw my mom running on over towards me. In a very tight and gripping hug did she just breathe into my shoulders, I haven't seen her in years. 

Not since the divorce or anything of that sort. "I'm so happy you finally made it." Giving her a smile does she bring me inside, trying to lug my bag behind do I just take it instead. Entering the house was I surprised at how quaint it was. Modern but old fashion give or take some of the items, the television looked fairly new. As did the computer set up in the side office around the corner. But her covering her mouth with her finger as she closed the door, did I see the beginning portion of my brother. Before continuing to the kitchen, where all sorts of snacks have been made to accommodate my tiring travels. 

I did, in fact, take a few, but the lack of conversation bored us all. So she had Jarod bring up my two suitcases before I was able to see my room, taking the small spiral staircase because she didn't want to wake Mickey. 

Having my bag slung over one shoulder, and my glasses clipped to my shirt did I follow her on up. Going through the narrow hallway did she finally stop at the end of the house, seeing the perfect sized room.

Saying it was everything I dreamed, sounds cliche. It was just a bedroom, a big bed that looks more than comfy enough to take a nap in at the moment. A bookshelf with an assortment of books I'll probably never read. A desk with a monitor, a few lamps and a walk-in closet for the clothes I barely have. 

Until she found a reason to open it, more than half of it was filled. Barely having any space for myself, I'd look through it later and hope her guessing what I wear is close to whatever lurks under all the colors in there. There wasn't much color with my outfit anyway, tight jeans a gray tank top and a blue flannel around my waste. Not much else to say really. "Micheal is gonna come around dinner time...He's got a surprise for you." She said to me, just as I was placing my backpack down on the bed before me. Turning back around did my face flush with the surprise. "Nonono, he doesn't have to." Her head tilted in the way saying 'it's already happened' so the second the door closed, did I have some privacy. 

My back connected to the comforter or sheet that laid upon this bed, soft and smooth. I couldn't wait to sleep, but that meant going to the first day of school in the morning. My mom wasn't too keen on me missing anything while arriving here, so that is the delay for it all. 

The curiosity in me decided to look in the closet, pulling the string light in the center did I see the freshly secured shelves that were not apart of the interior of this little area. But just one look through the close did I think half of it was her idea, and half of it was just her looking through my pictures to find duplicates of everything else. 

With nothing else to do, I went back over to the bed. Plopping down the two suitcases to organize and fold, making sure I know where everything could be located in time for morning. I did plan my outfit for tomorrow, making it look like this. Along with getting my bag all ready, just a notebook, a folder and an agenda pad. "Hey. Mom said to come get you. Dinner's ready." Taking off my headphones just in time to hear my brother say those words did I turn off the music and followed him downstairs, meeting my stepfather for the first time as well. "Aurora...Nice to meet you. You can call me Michael, Mike. Whatever you feel comfortable with." Chuckling did I just feel the kindness generate off of him. I'd hope he had that going for him, he is the Lieutenant General to the fort a couple miles away, that much I knew about him. 

"We'll...We'll work on it." Was all I could say, they were trying really hard to make everything work, and it was then my mother had in her arms little baby Mickey. Named after his father surely, a little marine in the making. "Aren't you precious," I said, having him passed on over towards me. The little man was already keen on being in my arms, holding one arm over my shoulder before looking back to his family. And seeing my brother already smiling at the general greeting did we all sit down and begin eating. Placing my brother onto his booster seat did he sit between Michael and my mother. And I sat across from them with Jarrod by my side, this was going to go great....But the moment I was about to pick up my fork, did my brother grab my hand. Helping me with the first meal....I didn't think this family would be the religious type what so ever. So taking hold of his and my mother's hand did they begin to say a prayer. I was never religions, baptized yes. But church on Sunday? No.

Hopefully, that is something that I have a say in, but the moment it was over. I waited for everyone else to dig right on in. The conversation was slow, mostly about my new dad's work and stuff. And at one point he asked me if I had any questions about any of his positions, he would tell me without hesitation. Unless it's top secret. But I knew more about it than he would think, especially when I am worried that people will give me a hard time for A) Being Jarod Holden's step-sister, B)The new girl or C) The General's daughter. If anything the last one should protect me...So focused on eating that my poor brother had to say the name again before asking the question for the second time. "I have your schedule in my bag if you want to look it over." I nodded, and it set something for me to study on. 

But soon dinner was over, and I was quick to help my mother bring all the dishes to the sink in the kitchen. Wiping the table down, and bringing my little brother over to his little play area in the living room. As I was sitting down beside him, my stepdad walks on in. "Take a walk with me." Giving my brother a small kiss on the head so I follow him out the door, he was wearing normal every day dad stuff. Jeans and a t-shirt, I'm still waiting for the round the clock dinners and events that we have to get through as a family. Mom might have given me a bit of a warning. "When your mother said you were coming, I couldn't have been any happier....That was the first thing she told me when we started dating you know. How she lost you to the system and foster care." Looking down to my combat boots as I walk on the dusty path rounding to the garage on the far side, not only were there animals. But enough to have an actual farm in business. "We have people come and tend them, give back to the community with jobs..." "Anything around here?" "Heard you were a waitress. Probably can find something here for you." A smile rang through as he let on more about me than I thought he would. It's good to see he's really trying, but once he moved to unlock this large maroon barn door. My eyes lit on up to the beauty before me.

A very nice model of a Harley Davison Motorcycle, just sitting there collecting dust. "Was mine a good couple of years ago. All yours. Might need a few tune-ups, but I don't think you need instructions." Him throwing the keys on over towards me did I quickly catch it, looking to them as if I was just blessed. "House keys on it too. My jeep and the truck as well. Barn. Safe. Just keep the set of keys on you." Chuckling again did I smile, thanking him for this. Did he look on over my shoulder. 

"You have a few hours, think that's enough time?" "More than enough." Bringing him into a hug do I say one last 'thank you' before getting to work. The parts just scattered around had me excited to work on this project, and not just for a customer. My own. 

Putting the keys in my back pocket allowed me to work with both hands, searching through the layers and layers of tools. Everything in here didn't look like it was used in the least bit, but the moment I found the things I needed. Along with extra parts I beehive I would need, I grabbed them and put em on over near the bike. 

However, the second I found the old radio. I plugged it on in, thinking that there is power within this little-detached barn had been one of the understates of the day.


	2. -NewStudent-

The workload wasn't that much, I installed a side leather pouch. Assuming I'd ride this to school in the morning, along with replacing the seat. It was worn out and dirty, besides. It needed a little flair to it. The biggest project that it needed was just the tune-up, and even that wasn't as bad as I predicted. 

My attention moved the second I saw a football bounce on over into the garage, sliding the white cloth off my lap that I placed there so I wouldn't get oil on myself. Did I go run and grab it. "Shit looking good...That thing has been sitting in here for years. Hope you like it." "Like it. I love it." His smile rang at my excitement towards this entire level of...Bonding I guess it would be called? I don't know the exact term, but when he opened his hands for me to give him the ball. I mutter two words. "Go long." His chuckle rang loose as he motioned for it again, so my eyes widened. Knowing I was serious did he start running. Gripping the white line in the center correctly did I throw it over, hard, making sure it had a swirling motion before he caught it. 

My stepdad who was practicing with him looked more than impressed with his hands on his hips and a smile on his face. Grabbing the extra rag in my back pocket do I wipe my hands, something I should have done before I touched the ball. But they are grown men, can't handle a little oil? I chuckled at the thought, before turning back to my project. And within the next few moments did I turn the key in its ignition before twisting the handles laid out before me. Hearing the ripping sound echo through this small barn. Kicking back the small little leg did I go on forward, going straight near the two men as they laughed in approval. "You wouldn't want to know how much it would have cost to fix this damn thing." "I already know." I shrugged, about to ask if I can go out seemed od. But I did anyway. "Jarod, you have practice tomorrow before the game anyway. Go with your sister." He shrugged a yes and I patted the seat behind me, his unsure face was shocked. How else does he want to ride with me? "Where to?" "Any bike stores around? Don't think mom wants me riding without a helmet." He nodded off to his dad before he held onto me. Riding off into the distance hearing him say the directions a good given before did I realize it was a must for him to direct me on where to go. Especially since I had no idea where town even was. 

Until we stopped at the store did I look at a few other things, a nice jacket to replace my old and torn one. Along with the helmet I wanted to come in for, the second Jarod pulled out a credit card I fumbled, shaking my head before taking his place. I don't want them to pay for my things, bad enough they gave me a motorcycle. So instead, he went off and picked one for himself. "Just in case you need an extra one." My eyes glared at him as he stood in line behind me. He was admiring his chose in a helmet, eyeing it the entire time I was in search for this one. 

I was off to the car when he came on back out, with my jacket already on and ready. Did I see him just throw out the bag at the garbage bin sitting on the outside. Did he pull it on over his head, now coming onto the bike without any hesitation. "Think you can get to the school from here?" Turning my head back around to him do I chuckle before heading on out of the parking lot and in the direction of where I think the school actually is. It won't be too bad in the morning, if anything I'll follow him. Tomorrow is the day of impressions, and I surely want to fuck it up. 

Speeding down the road, having the headlights on was just a wonderful, relaxing moment. Especially when I missed our house and ended up at the wrong one. But that was alright, still the first day here. 

Trying to silence down the ride as I allowed it into the garage, finally turning it off did he jump off. "That was fucking amazing. We gotta do it again!" Pulling off the helmet and wiping off the sweat did I think it's time for a shower, and then get off to bed. Walking back to the house after locking the garage up did we finally have an honest conversation. How everyone in the house is acting on their toes. "Mom is upset that she lost you. I don't think she'll ever get over it." "I'm here now." "For two years and then college...If you're thinking about college." Nodding did I not want to get into what I study, just because I don't want Michael feeling the need for him to give me job opportunities within his facility. To be honest, he's already done enough for me. For my mom. "Stop by room, I'll give you your schedule...Should have done that earlier." Waving it off, we were both busy. So going off to my room did I grab a pair of pajamas before heading to the bathroom across the hall. 

Locking the door.

Something that I've learned to do in the care of other people. So stripping down I went, taking hold of the hot water before me. And letting my dark brown hair become darker with the sense of added water. The scented shampoo was clearly my mother's, always had this smell. Always will, even taking a whiff of the bottle did the nostalgic reminder hit me in the back of the head.

I always brought this.

Turning off the water was a struggle especially since I truly did not want to go to bed just yet. So I promised myself another hour up and around. To organize or to get my class list. So rounding about to what I think is his room, did I knock. 

Him playing Xbox was expected, but him not inviting me was just rude. For a moment he looked confused on why I was with him, but the second he ran on over to his desk did I get to see his room. Football gear hanging on the wall for tomorrow, television on pause, backpack and jock jacket all ready for school. I'll make fun of it tomorrow. Right now I was just interested in what I have as classes. My head drove right in seeing as how I am taking a few computer classes, along with phycology. Everything else was standard, history and English. The gym was going to be fantastic. 

The small side note was the classes I had with him, his sloppy handwriting and the goofy little smiley face was another surprise on how kind he was. Only adding to the realization that he will be difficult tomorrow with his friends. I'm waiting for it.

*Morning came quicker than I realized, and already did I feel the slight nervousness that will bring forth a good year or a bad one. Promising myself one month to get a few of the town before going off and getting a job was something I was willing to allow, I never was good at asking for money. Especially when my mother has funded half my life from a distance, it felt like taking it from a stranger...We were separated when I was eight. Almost ten years ago, and I want to make the effort with her. But she has little Mickey to worry about, and Michael going off every few months for a good few weeks at a time. Her life is stressful without worrying about me, and from the way my stepfather put it, that's all she's been doing since the moment he'd met her.

Pulling the covers over from my body so I head to the closet, picking through my clothes and finding one of my mother's purchased tank tops. Making sure everything else was set in my backpack did I take off to the bathroom, toiletry bag in hand. Hopefully, I will end up using the nice vanity table that she put on it, needs an added light but as of right now. I think this is fine. 

A dark smoky eye, along with the eyeliner that I've been craving since yesterday morning before working on my hair. Ruffling it up, it looked fine. The curls were decent enough, and anything I would do to it would get messed from the helmet. 

After that did I grab my helmet, slinging over my bag and had my jacket in hand before quietly going downstairs. See Jarrod eating a bowl of cereal. "Goodmorning." He greeted, reading the newspaper before him like a little gentleman. And I chuckled looking for the orange juice in the fridge, along with taking one of the fruit cups mothers told me about yesterday. "Sure you don't want a ride on the first day?" He asked politely once more, and with my mouth full of fruit did I just look on at him. His winter looking type jacket just smelled like jock to me. "I'm good." Rolling my eyes by looking at the clock, I had time. We both did, and as my mom strolled on in with Mickey did he grab on to me. "It's your sisters first day of school! Aren't we excited!" Using her childish voice did she pass him off to me due to his grabbing motion he continued to do so. Swinging my bag down to the floor beside the kitchen's island do I hold him. Mickey's little finger grab onto the fabric of my leather, feeling around as he eyed what his mother was doing. "Can you get him dressed? We're running late this morning." Nodding did I head off to his room upstairs, and immediately did I stop in my tracks. 

I didn't want to admit that I was jealous, but I was. Mad and jealous. Mad because I don't want to feel envious of the life my little brother has over mine, couldn't stop it from sparking. Not like I was never going to see this area either. So off to the changing table I went, replacing his shirt and pants. Fixing his hair, all this and that before bringing him back to mom. Who was all dressed and had breakfast set for both herself and the little boy? "I can drop him off. You two go, have a good day Aurora! Watch out for her Jarrod!" Rolling my eyes did I grab my helmet off the counter and marched down the steps, wondering where the ranger from yesterday had gone. "Dad leaves at five." Nodding did he walk me on over to my bike, chuckling at the fact he didn't have to do that. "You tell your friends you have a step-sister?" His hesitation gave me the answer I needed. Not upset with him in the least bit, that meant I didn't have to be introduced to that many people bright and early. "It might be better for you if you didn't know my friends...Not that I don't them to know you...It's just-" "Nonono. I understand." I said, sliding on my jacket and zipping it halfway up before pushing the bike on out the given distance. Closing the barn doors. There has to be a better way, investing my money in an actual garage door might be useful. But the second I started the ignition I saw him jump in fear, chuckling even after hiding my face behind the matte black helmet did I salute on off to him before riding off. 

The air that seeped through the leather felt lovely, as did the speed I was going down this very long road. Until I entered in the town, cutting through to get a feel of the area as a whole. But the moment I look on up from my position, holding the bike up with one foot to secure the stability. Do I see two young men, probably my brother's friends cursing and yelling towards me? Not considering the fact that I'm a woman. 

As a smirk riles underneath my helmet do I twist the handgrip to sound of the roar of my freshly cleaned engine do they do the same for their truck. But what they missed was the light turning green and I went full force on the wheel. At a straight shot towards the school, of course, the truck followed me, the ugly jackets were a dead give away when I saw just one already. 

Not many cars stationed here either, so it was off to the parking lot. And already was I getting stares, from the crowds of people going off to school. Folders in their hands. 

It's Fall, can't even use the new student card when the semester has already begun in the past few weeks. Great.

Taking one of the first parking spot near the set of bikes was the only option I had, not wanting to get in trouble. But that already signified the group I'd be placed in. A bunch of people smoking right in front of the school and not giving a single thought about it. Out of the seven people within that circle, two of them were girls. Stopping my bike, kicking the stand down, did I look on around, spotting my brother near some girls, that I can already say I hate did I see the angry jock man who came on over towards me. "Who the hell do you think you are riding around like that." A quick look back did I see the gang of bikers come on over, the cigarettes still in their hands as they looked on off to these three guys. Standing his ground did he just stay put, and in one motion did I take off my helmet and give them a kind smile before getting off my bike. His gawk and the wide open mouths of the three men had the rest of the group chuckle. Along with myself.

Not saying one word do I grab my backpack and head off into the school, getting appropriate nods to whomever these people are before me. 

The steps themselves were challenging enough, greeted by cheering girls who wore too bright of a color. Strolling on inside did the hallways seem cluttered as well, but I found my way towards the main office. The glass door and the windows seemed inviting, but the heat wasn't the best. The fan with the little strings attached continued to dance as it oriented to each corner of the room. "Goodmorning, how can I help you?" Stepping towards the front desk and placing my helmet down did I give her a warm smile. "I'm the new student, Aurora Blake." The reaction I had gotten from the two secretaries was enough to make my head spin, the hurried on over the forms and a school map. Guessing that there wasn't much new student activity that this was the first as in awhile.

"Basic layout, nothing to really worry about. If you have any questions, come see us. We'll point you in the right direction." Smiling and nodding throughout the entire lecture, dotting the classes in my schedule. It followed through like most schools, library, gym, and cafeteria. So I left as confident as ever, going to the locker I was provided did I set down my helmet and my leather jacket. This school was far too hot, and the odd thing was...It's October. The middle of October.

The bell ringing signaled for everyone to scatter the entire hallway, leaving me at my locket for the small moment to gather where my classes are. Not wanting to have a map in my face the entire first day. That is the strong scent of cigarettes laid waste to my nose, and what I wouldn't kill to have one. A good four of them from outside had stripped through the oncoming crowd, easily be avoided by the little underclasses man as they approached me. The guy leaning against the locker behind my open door, and the two girls from the group as well. "Ya know where yer goin?" Before I was about to respond did the guy grab my schedule from my hands, grunting ever so often when he found something interesting. "On the second floor most of the day princess." He handed it off to the girls, and while I was confused on what they were doing. They shared a good laugh, assuming we have class together might be the issue I'm facing at the moment. "We'll take you." The two girls said, nicking their head forward as they lead me to class. 

Taking in their appearance were they wearing more makeup than myself, more so than I would have guessed beforehand. "Got yourself a nice bike. Trevor was eyeing it." "Earned me a lot of stares." A nod in agreeance was all I needed, and they soon stopped in front of my class. "I'm Karen, but K's fine too." "I'm Rachel." Smiling at them did they each say which end of the hall they had their classes, and as the second bell had rung. I sprung up and introduced myself. "Blake." Surprised, to say the least, was what I expected, especially since they were much kinder than I would have predicted. And Jake, he strolled on off. Getting another smoke in before the period? Probably.

The teacher greeted me, signing the pass I had to get from all my teachers the first day before he said I could sit anywhere I'd like. And again, did I find the group of stoners helpful in this equation. "Oh look. It's another one of them." One of the girls before me whispered, making me chuckle towards this petty little bitch before me. The blonde hair gave it away of who she was as a person, but the killer is when she said it. 

Grabbing the flimsy notebook did I try my best to follow along, but my mind continued to butter up each minute that the clock countered. Eight classes, six a day. 55 minutes each. So help me god could this not go any faster. "Gotta name?" The boy beside me asked. "Blake," I said, still looking up at the teacher and copying him down word for word. "The man rambles the same shit every day, don't stress yourself." Smiling at the advice did I believe his words, so that left me nothing to do as the teacher continued to go on and on about such different topics. 

Getting off of the issue at hand was what this man was known for, I'm assuming. Because each time he started a new story, something would make him take a turn in a different direction. Sitting back in my chair did I begin to doodle. Until the man poked me once again. "Where ya come from?" "Connecticut." "Where's that?" "Under New York." He chuckled at his dumb question, it's one of those states that no one remembers. Everything else is just known. "What made ya come here?" "Family." His nod and little cheek biting had me wonder what he really wanted to ask me. Or talk to me about, my mind wasn't paying attention to Psychology anyway. So I turned on towards him, greeted by a smirk and his head jerking back the little ways. "You have any problems with them sports fanatics. You tell me?" Rolling my eyes did I just explain I can handle myself. "Nah Nah. I ain't kidding you." "Alright, Ponyboy." He chuckled at the literary joke, it did sound like the greasers and the preppy kids pitched up against one another. 

But even in that regard did I feel categorized, just wanting to finish my school year and not worry about fights or anything more important than getting into college and majoring into this study. "Ya meet Karen and Rachel?" "Yea. They walked me to class." "Sweet girls those two." Nodding in agreeance did I see a few stares wonder on back towards us. We were sitting in the back and it was obvious for them to be noticed by us. "They're trying to figure you out." "They see that big idiot running at me because I won that damn little race?" His chuckle rang for a good minute as he shook his head, holding the brink of his nose before responding. "Thought you were a guy too. They don't ride."   
"Shame."   
"Where'd you get that beauty?" As the teacher looked on over towards us, making us pause the conversation, but the second he turns his back towards us do I answer the question honestly. "Sorry. My name's Shawn." This was going better than expected, we shared riding stories. And he was a good guy, tomorrow would he introduce me to everyone, instead of me running into the building like a scared little freshman. I wasn't even on school property did I make an impression, angering my brother's player and then making myself friends. 

The class was over and I just slid the notebook down into my bag while walking on out, meeting the two girls. Joining Shawn and I. 

"Incoming." Peering on over to my right did I see the jocks come on down, my brother among the rest. He was the team captain, and I think I angered his best friend. Chuckling at the thought did Jarrod make eye contact with me for a moment before passing it off to my given friends. Not going to the game tonight. The signs posted all over the wall didn't mean anything to me. Maybe homecoming. Just because he is technically family. "Hey new girl, ever get tired of these punks. Can always hang out with me." Was all he could come up with as he walked backwards, trying to continue the conversation. But my eye roll was enough to make him angry. "Asshole," I muttered, sticking with the group did Shawn walk on off in a different direction, and lucky this time around did I get to see Rachel in this class. Law. Funny enough for the both of us, and humorous to the rest of the class.

Little did they know. I've been battling cases for a good long while up until this point.


	3. -WorkingWaitress-

The moment lunch broke on out, I was dragged outside with the rest of the group I've been seen with all day. Underneath a tree just zoning out, passing whichever drug they had on them. I was never the one to take it, especially since I saw what it did to my parents. My father for example. "Not into dope sweetheart?" Shrugging as I leaned my head back against the tree, watching them just stare up at the sky, the light shining through the leaves making them glisten the array of colors that they showed. "Drinking's enough. Ain't it?" They all shared their agreement again, but they were too out of it to realize. Taking my little agenda did I realize I get to leave right after lunch.

My schedule was odd, letting me eat then go off home? But that wasn't my plan, I wanted to go drive around a little bit. Stop at the gas station perhaps, but anything to not get home alone early. It's the first full day and I wish to explore. So once the bell rang and everyone went on off towards their classes, I waved a goodbye as I made my way back to my bike. Securing my backpack and having my helmet securely on did I start it up. Before rushing out of the parking lot. 

My new found friends were alright, and if Jarod had told people that I was his step sister. Then this day would have been different, I don't mind the little lie he told at the airport. Just hit in the conversation.

The following days consisted of just showing up to class, it was at the football game that I went on over to, did I feel the slight bit of regret. Paying my ticket and wearing one of my brother's oversized football jerseys did I find my seat to watch the game. I was into football, I helped him one day this current week when Michael wasn't home for whatever reason. 

Rumor around the house is that he's leaving for a few months, and I cannot think of anything more worrying than that. 

Jarrod is pretty nice once I got past the large jacket that turned many classmates faces to either stare at or turn away. One good look towards him when he saw who I was hanging out with already stated what his opinion was, and that was a negative. Just a cold heart negative. 

However bad it looks. It could be one hundred times worse. Especially when he knows for a fact that I don't do anything more than drink, who doesn't? He does. There's a party this week and in a few weeks, that going to scare me if I decide to go. The 'stoners' as he and everyone else calls them isn't exactly true, there are like three out of the seven that smoke as heavily as most stoners of America.

I did, however, take my mother's car because it was getting colder and she worried on driving at night with my bike. In reality, I could drive at night, but she rather not have me drive at all. A battle I believe my brother and Michael had won for me before I arrived, that and because it's my only means of transportation. "Holden? You know Holden?" Turning around did I see a group of girls behind me, and when I greeted them a smile. They just began giggling. "Uh...Yeah. We're friends." Their confused expressions sparked through as I could tell that wasn't the best lie I could have told, cousins would have been better. "Aren't you the new girl?" "Yeah. He showed me around, told me to come tonight." It was getting on the right track, as some moved on down to sit with me. 

The game itself wasn't as packed as I thought it would be, the homecoming game was an issue. I wouldn't want to be the one to go to a dance, perhaps just sit home and watch a movie. But the moment my mom asked me about it, I knew we'd get into some sort of conversation about it. Honestly, I wish I was that type of girl that could wear frilly little things and not think twice about what I'm wearing. Especially when it's short and revealing. Just not who I am, and dancing and the second thing on that list. Not about wearing dresses. "He's dating Madison Lurenno." 

"And? He's my tour guide." I said, pulling my hair onto my back so my brother's name and number were not shown anymore. The t-shirt was still big and his sweater underneath was getting attention as well. "Gotta be careful. You see the blonde one?" The brunette sitting one over was pointing towards the who was up in front cheering onto the team, pompoms in the head. Of course, the jock gets the cheerleader.

So the conversation turned to school, and how I liked it. And to be honest, these clothes were probably more inviting than my flannel, dark makeup, and leather jacket in my arms. I just looked normal, my hair yet to be washed. A beanie on the top, all this and that. "Names Stephanie. That's Jill and Emma." "Blake." They all seemed nice enough, until one took note that I taking Psychology but they didn't see me in the class. I chuckled thinking it was humorous to have two different people seeing me the same way. 

Dressing shouldn't dictate who you are, I wear the leather because it's comfortable and I need it for the motorcycle. It's cold and supporting the football team requires the jersey, but in the end, it just caused more problems. Especially when the cheerleaders took it by surprise. "I...I think I'm gonna get going. It was nice meeting you. And see you in Psych." I said off to Stephanie, before taking a leave. Texting my brother just in hopes he will have a good game, leaving earlier wasn't my idea. But I ended leaving anyway, never went to a sports event for school before.

And probably never will again.

But in all, it had me feeling hungry. So I stopped at the local diner, just sitting at the bar. I did leave the jersey in the car, the sweater was enough. Good thing I did take it off, for it was pretty warm in here to begin with. "Haven't seen you here before..."   
"New to the state."   
"Welcome! Haven't seen a newbie staying for a good long while. You live close by?" Nodding did I say I live on the Drummers road, but in the end was it a long ass road where all sorts of farms were located. She wouldn't know mine specifically. "What can I get you?" Ordering a small meal of just a BLT and fires was enough to satisfy me, and get a nice long talk with the waitress, kind older women to be serving. All alone I might add. 

Looking at the atmosphere did I already feel the likable factor that everyone here knows, its nice, it's easy. And like she said before, everyone knows everyone. It was a late hour and whoever came in were either drunk, high or hungry. Even in Ct was that found. "Working all by yourself?" "Other waitress quit last week. Can't find anyone willing." Was all she said before rounding about the bar area and presenting the drunken folks with their food. I wasn't doing much outside of school anyway, and this poor woman looked like she needed more than help. "Got an application?" Her eyes shot on up from behind the counter, grabbing napkins or whatever sort of supplies she rendered into her waist apron. "Got an experience?" "Year and a half from my other job." "You're hired. Got school right?...Not that busy anyway, weekends are the biggest. Hell, bring in your homework if ya gotta." Smiling as she shook my hand, getting the job right then and there. Joe as I found out her name to be, was more than excited. As I ate she taught me the ropes and how much I'd need to know. Almost everything was the same, just location and the outfit. She was alright with me wearing jeans or whatever I wish. I think she's just excited for a new employee to help her out. 

"See ya Monday Joe!" I yelled on out, taking the leftovers and heading to the car. I made sure to tip her well, and now it was off to the house. Where I have to tell my mom that I applied to a 'few places and they called back.' I don't think she'll be made. There is no reason for her be especially since it will save her money every time I want to fix my bike. 

On the way home so I just stop to look at the score of the game, looking at the time. I don't know what my excuse will be for my parents. I'm tired? I don't even know, so returning back to the road do I speed on off. Making sure to turn at the correct driveway this time around before parking it beside Michael's jeep. He's still at the base, returning sometime this week before departing. 

"Aurora? You're home early." Taking off the sweater in the living room was I greeted by my mother, still in her nurse outfit. Holding Mickey in his pajama onesie wanting to be held by me. Placing down the sweater do I go on over towards the both of them, making sure to have a good grip on the boy before responding to my mother. "Got kinda tired, they were winning by a landslide so..." Was all I could give her, they were winning by a landslide. But I was awake enough to offer to put him to bed, read to him and give him a bottle. Not in the order but enough to make him go to sleep. Allowing my mom to have a few minutes to herself, taking a shower and just cleaning up the house. "You're so good with him. Even Jarod has a hard time."   
"I took care of the younger kids in foster care..." I mumbled, regret just sprung on off. I shouldn't have told her that, careless. "School going alright?" "Yea, made some friends. And...The dinner in town hired me." Her reaction was more than excited, she was thrilled even. Saying how sweet Joe is and everything. The approval just gave me the segment of going off to my room, leaving the conversation until tomorrow since a yawn escaped my lips without warning. Sending me off to bed was sort of ironic, but the moment I was behind closed doors did I get a chance to breathe. Going towards the closet to put together a work attire just to get some ideas of what is and isn't okay. Black skinny jeans and a normal v-neck shirt is all I could think of while waitressing, or perhaps a local shirt. Whichever Joe likes better. But it will be easy to get there since it's barely a ten-minute drive.

But here I am, at eleven o'clock at night. Sitting down on my bed to do homework so I have the weekend to do whatever I want. There's a part of me that wishes to go to bed, but the other wants to get this math and law out of the way so I can sleep in and not worry about anything. So I pull my hair into a bun, grab my glasses and begin to work on my few tasks at hand. Writing a small essay on why I took law was something that my teacher wishes to know. And I honestly did not know what to write...

-The reason I signed up for this class while switching school was because I wish to embrace the subject of both law and criminology. A field where I have been closely placed growing up in life, the opportunities at my old school only had one single half-semester class. My goal is to retake what I learned and learn more from whichever sort of areas that weren't covered beforehand...

How else do I need to explain myself, to a teacher who barely looked at me for the first meeting? But whatever floats his boat I guess. Math, on the other hand, was more difficult than I predicted, so I just rested my head down on the pillow for a quick moment to refresh my eyes...


	4. -NewFaces-

The light peering out from the window of the crease between the drapes bothered me enough to switch my position in bed to the other side, only to be greeted by the same thing. Groaning allowed me to rise up comfortably and stretch my legs, the clock beside me said nine thirty in digital red lights. So pushing my legs on over to I think of going on downstairs to take a snack.

"Goodmorning honey. Do you want a pancake? Waffle? Eggs?" Rubbing my eyes and pushing the hair behind my head was I greeted by her feeding the bouncing baby in the seat, his smile became clear the second his beating eyes landed towards me. And I just shook my head to my mother, sitting at the island with the cup of fruit and some yogurt from the fridge. 

Eating in silence was expected, so I just ended up reading whichever issued magainze was in front of me. Not really interested in the dramatic life of a millionaire Hollywood movie star, so I skimmed for anything interesting in the sense of anything else. "gooooodmorning!" The long greeting just had me shake my head in disapproval, he came over to kiss my mother on the cheek before going off to find his own breakfast. "How was the game last night?" "The one my own sister didn't stay for? We won." With my mouth full of fruit I needed a moment to respond, and there I told the same lie as I told mom.   
"Hey, I need your help moving something in the barn. Think you can manage?" He chuckled, saying he needed to eat something beforehand. Giving me enough time to get dressed for the day, normal jeans and my tall boots. Following my signature tank top and flannel, only they were much warming than the ones I wore yesterday. I've gone soft to the heat, and now I'm fighting the bitter cold. He met me outside on the porch and I continued walking towards the barn, he was quick to follow. "What needs to be moved?" "Nothing. Didn't want to talk in front of mom. Couldn't tell me you had a girlfriend?" He was confused on what I meant by calling him out on it until the everything else fell into place.   
"Anyone give you shit for it?"   
"No. Some girls gave me a warning on who my tour guide was." He sighed, but still continued to follow me to my only spot for hanging out.   
"I have friends coming on over, maybe I should tell them..."   
"Don't have to, I can hang out in here the entire day. Or go to work." That sprung the conversation up ten times, as he was interested to know where I'm working. "The dinner in town. If anything I can just go there when your friends come over...I'm alright with this, I don't want any more attention than I have already." He nodded in agreement, it's protecting me. Something I have to remind myself about, how his friends will be more than willing to show me around. And that isn't something I need.

But Jarod did stay with me for a good hour just talking, where he wants to go to college all this and that. He talked about Madison, how in love he was. While I was sitting down on an upside-down bucket giving my bike some maintenance. "What about you? College something you're looking forward to?" "Yea. If I can pick a damn major." I said, getting up to look for a few more tools. And once I turned back to the conversation he was on his little slide up phone, texting like crazy. "Friends are coming in like an hour. Want me to grab anything from the house for you? I mean if you're staying here." Telling him to get some snacks and my backpack from my room was the only thing I could think of. My math homework was not completed, a sad truth I found out this morning. Along with the fact that I am bound to the barn until the guys leave. Hopefully for both our sakes, mom doesn't ask too many questions.

*

The loud sound of a truck rolling onto the property was just the warning I needed that they were here, I did peak my head out of the hole in the wall. But nothing more than to see who was here.

Of course, it would have been the one to blow out in my face the first day of school, along with a few others. They threw the football around, practiced and ate snacks. Everything I would have assumed they did, but nothing more than that. Them leaving was probably the highlight of the day because I cannot stand to hear about their girlfriends and which positions they enjoy the most. 

The images are bad enough but the motions they did, I don't feel bad spying on them. But I do feel bad for my mother having to stay in the house as well, don't think she's realized yet that I don't like anything about his friends. The others seemed nice, just that one particular one is giving me the attitude I did nothing to deserve.

However, the second they were gone. I went back on over towards the house, just to get cleaned up and go to my first practice day of work. "Hey, thanks...For keeping quiet." "No problems. Just don't make this a habit." We shared a small chuckle in agreement before going off to do our own thing. Grabbing a change of clothes do I take a shower, wanting to look at least a bit presentable my first day. 

But before I could leave the house, did mom stop me. Wishing me good luck on my first day of work, or my first day of work that she gets to see. I truly hope she won't be this was during Christmas and another holiday. Then again, it's to be expected. She allowed me to go a few minutes later after the pointers, if someone asks who my family is. Say Holden, apparently the name is known. Other than the fact that Jarod is the caption of the football team, I've entered in this household not knowing what good the member under this roof has done.

And I don't know if I can live with that weight on my shoulder to do something good.

Hopping onto my bike did I speed off to the main road, going down by the speed limit or even slower. The little turns I still have to get used to, but everything else was easy from there. Parking at the front was my way of saying that I'm here, and a good amount of the people within the area had looked on over to see who it was. 

Before I could even enter was Joe smiling on towards me, handing me off the little waist apron that was filled with everything. And I began the day, mostly just setting food down while she takes the orders. I clean up and we split the tip. All in all, the tips were fairly good. Both in the jar and on the table. 

Everything was looking good, the small atmosphere was one of the only places to get decent food. Unless you want to wait and go off to the bar across the street. "My brother owns the place. Not in the state anymore, manages it from afar. I sometimes close early to go and help over there." It was us cleaning up, wiping the tables down and sending the dirty dishes to the back for the busboy. 

"Think you can sneak me in?" "Serving drinks? Probably. Little less likely to get a cop in there who doesn't want a beer on duty than off." Fished with my last bit of work do I take off my apron and put it on the counter before taking my flannel and jacket. I knew before I left the house that it'll be cold, thank the heavens I've done that.

Entering the house was the heat already a welcome to the family going off to bed, Mickey not being my mom's care must have already gone to bed. And I was again, left to do whatever I pleased.

*

The end of the month came quicker than expected, it's been easier to cope with everything else. My mother and I are getting on more easier terms now, not always so upright with her, normal conversations. Like I would have with a friend, everything else was solid as ever. 

The only issue is, Jarod doesn't agree with my friend choice. Tells me every morning, and I just come back with his damn friends wanting to start a fight over some nonsense but to still be mad about it a month later. Isn't going to fly past me, especially with all these events socking up. Michael said we have a ballroom event coming soon at his base of operations, something I am looking forward to seeing. And also nervous in turn. So I told him that if he told his friends about us being in the same family. That it would bring more people to be friendly towards me, unlike the stoners I was with. And his threat was he's gonna tell mom. When he told me that threat I rolled my eyes, what my friends and his friends do is the same thing. Only one doesn't lie to the public about who they are.

"Blake. Gotta light?" Barely off my bike for a minute did Trevor ask for a favor, lucky for him that I didn't really empty the bike from the weekend. I did have a slight break from work to have a smoke outside in the back, but nothing more than one cigarette a day in that sense. Or even two days. They were my suppliers so I had to be nice, I wasn't eighteen yet. And the moment I am, I'm going to get a legitimate tattoo and cigarettes. All in the same moment. Couldn't wait for that day to arrive. "Any of you seen Dixon lately?" My eyebrows scrunched together, I haven't heard that name before. And looking around the group, everyone turned to shake there head in silence. The dude alright? 

"Who's Dixon?"   
"Another friend. I guess it's one of those monthly disappearances."   
"He's alright though...Right?" I felt unaware of what the situation was for this guy, and I didn't understand how anyone could be so chill about him just going off. I've been here a month and a good few days and he hasn't shown up back to school? At least K and D find it a little obvious to do their homework, the rest of the people surrounding me didn't bother to show up to class half the time. Seeing school as a social event wasn't something I could ever see myself doing. Especially when my brother and his friends are the main reason for me hating it here. Leaving out my brother that is. The bell rang signaled for everyone to move on to the school, the flimsy door was just an awakening of how earlier it is and how neutral the school is. Bland lighting, bland walls. My old school was more colorful than this.

Having my helmet still in hand did I head on off towards my locker, but before I could even open it. Did I see Maddie and her click of friends come down single file towards me, finally getting my locker open did I eye her before returning my attention to getting my books and things. "I heard a little secret about you." "What might that be?"   
"Blake Holden." Chuckling at the fact that she initially thinks my name is actually Blake is a sad regret in itself, but I guess it is also a handle on things. I hate my first name and never wish to hear anyone say it here. I'm pretty sure I even switched it around on my school profile. Blake Aurora Holden. Whichever someone wishes to see it as. "Mysteries solved. Jarod tell you?" "Jarod tells me everything, especially since he doesn't want you hanging out with...Them..." Her pause had her point in the direction of Trevor and the gang bonding on in from the back door. If they save me talking to her, it might bring questions I'm not ready to answer for. "What else did he tell you?" "Nothing really. Stepsister from his stepmom side. Half sister to little Mickey...isn't he adorable." My eyebrows rose in agreement as I continued to fill up my bag, playing the part of an annoyed being as my friends passed on by. I was annoyed, but this...This was worse than anything I could have imagined. "He tells his football friends?" "Going to at lunch. Watch out for Daniel, he already has eyes on you." She said, now walking off in the completely opposite direction from wherever the hell she spawned from. Another reason why I shouldn't go to lunch, so this was the point of the day I wished to tell my own friends what the deal is with Jarod. 

I ditched my backpack last week, easier to manage a large purse than the shit I was carrying. Just putting it into my leather pouches on my bike is even more fortunate as well. But enough of that, I was just thinking how clever it was to buy this last week. With my first paycheck, along with some paint for my bike. "Hey B! We're hanging out at the pond next week. Wanna come?" "Think I have work, if not yea." The first time I'd be hanging out with them outside of school, should I blow it now? When I'm already in with them. "Got something to share....Jarrod Holden is my stepbrother." There was no thought process in me just blurting it out. It was done and over with. But most of them just began to do their high laugh as if I was kidding. "Heard a rumor going around. Fine by us. Maybe it will stop us from fighting them next time they come after you." I chuckled with the rest of them, I doubt that will be the case. Especially when Maddie warned me about Daniel.

I've seen his type before, hell I watched his type ruin girls lives. Not dumb enough to fall for anything anyway. "Just don't let him come near me, beat his ass."   
"Bad history?"   
"Could say that...the whole town praises the damn football team like their gods." I couldn't agree more, but I guess there isn't much to look forward to other than this shitty life. "Ya know what, save your sick day for the bonfire."   
"Bonfire?" I asked, Trevor was the only who was into the conversation, as well as K and D. But they were just silent, silent until now that is. "Yeah! We cook food, smoke, drink. Dixon's getting the shit right?" "Fuck didn't even think of that, haven't heard from him yet." He whipped out his phone to text whomever this Dixon guy was, his name continues to pop up. And I doubt asking my brother would be the smartest thing in the world.

The day ended, and I was relieved to get on home. Only to find my phone filled with messages, from Maddie, Jarod. And out of everyone, Daniel. The first one I texted out of all of them was the girl, because she warned me. She obviously knew what this was about, and she asked if she could come over for a quick moment. So running downstairs did I tell my mom, and she was fairly surprised that I finally made friends with Maddie. She was a sweet girl at heart, or so she says. But the second she came into the house, she was clearly different. Bringing me into a hug and everything. "Hi Mrs.Holden, it's nice to see you again. Mickey!" Was the first thing she said right after my own greeting. I did answer the door, but I assume she's closer to everyone else in the family other than me. Even my little brother seemed to be excited. "Did I tell you that Maddie here helped me decorate your room?" My eyes arched together, she knew the entire time. Jarod you little shit. 

"Didn't change that much, come on I'll show you." We excused ourselves from my mom, she knew everything before everyone else. Should have seen that one coming. The moment I opened the door she was pleasantly surprised at how much I kept the same. Hell, I was in my normal home attire getting ready for work. "Thought I'd paint the walls black and hang posters everywhere?" She laughed at the slight joke I made, the posters didn't come in yet. But I don't think I'm painting anything anytime soon, she took a look at my vanity table. Looking through the makeup and I just sat on my bed pulling together what homework I had to take with me to work. "Daniel's been talking about asking you out....Jarod can't say anything because of damn 'bro-code' but that doesn't apply to us." The fact that she blurted it out had me fall back into my bed laughing, where did he get the idea to ask me out?   
"Isn't he the one that wanted to start a fight with me the first day of school? We're on good terms now?"   
"That's the thing, I don't what games he wants to play. He dated my friend Jessica and...It's a long story but it doesn't end well. You cannot date him."   
"Not planning on dating anyone." I chuckled my last little thing before putting together a work folder and pulling up the light tote bag for work. "I hope we can be friends." She said, twisting around my chair to look over at me. Her attitude completely changed from cheerleader to normal girl in an instant. "I hope so too. Thanks. For watching out for me."   
"No problem. And don't be too hard on Jarod. He was just trying to protect you." Nodding in agreement did she come on over to hug me, like we just faced a battle and won. Before saying her goodbyes and finding her way out by herself. Daniel made her friend switch school? I need to look into that more than just the normal amount. So I texted K and Rachel before finishing my makeup at the vanity table. 

Buying a light was another good purchase, along with updating my makeup area. Waiting for a reply I went on over to get my helmet from the dressing and began walking down the stairs. Until my phone buzzed behind me, the end result wasn't the best in what I found.

He sent out nudes. And in general isn't the best guy to hang out with, but my friends have always had problems with them it would seem. As I was almost out of the house did Jarod come into the doorway, making mom come into the living room. "I need to talk to the both of you...." "Dad's leaving. Ain't he?" My mom nodded, shit. This was the first time this is happening. 

Sitting down on the armrest of the couch do I look to my mother, having my helmet on my lap and waiting patiently for her to explain what is going on. "Aurora this is the first time you're with us, and we sort of have a little thing we do as a family. A nice cooked meal after church and then we drive with him to the base. He isn't leaving until Wednesday." Nodding do I think this is a perfect idea, and asking a follow-up question was smart as well. I don't know much of what Michael does, I heard warning from Jarrod that we have a ball coming soon. But few months isn't soon. I'm just waiting for mom to come around the corner and say we have to go dress shopping one day. And assuming Maddie will be coming as well. "He is going to be away for a month or two, it isn't like the other time." "What happened the other time?" "Dad...Missed Mickey's birth, and most of the pregnancy." Jarod was the one to explain this to me. Assuming that is a long while, did he know she was pregnant. What is the story to that...

"Alright...alright. Go to work Aurora. Don't be as late as yesterday. Alright?" I chuckled like I did that on purpose, I wasn't going to leave Joe without any help cleaning up. Besides, it's a school night. I prefer to get a good few hours of sleep before the next cycle of the week continues. So waving everyone off so I hop on my bike and fly down to the restaurant. Having my bag and homework take up the small corner area opposite to the costumer's area. 

There was not much going on here, so I sat myself down and began to do homework. But every time someone came on over, Joe handled them as I readied their first round of water drinks. It was a system that we worked well together as a team. 

But the biggest conversation starter was with the guys eyeing my bike, asking the restaurant who's it is. And it always turns out the same way when I explain it's mine. 'What's a pretty girl like you riding a bike like that.' I don't know what they'd expect me to have. A hot pink Harley Davidson, it's a nice solid black color. And I have yet to get the paint and gun for it.

Might be a little rusty for not doing it in a while, but getting a few pieces of scrap metal is another idea in the jar as well. The hours flew by quicker than expected, and it was clean up time. "It's early, wanna head on over to the bar?" "Gotta finish this up. Ten alright?" She smiled and waved me on over to put everything into my bag, lucky for me I could just leave it here. No one is going to steal when the chief is just in the back cleaning up with the two other guys.

Bringing me into the back area was I greeted by five different people, all rushing at the same speed to bring through the rush of the crowd. It's Monday night, and half the town is packed into this little area. Or it might be big, there are too many people within the space to be sure. "There's a station over there, ya can teach her the main drinks." Joe took hold of my hand before leading me on over to the little area, a cutting board and tabs were available. 

Waitressing to this wasn't too unbelievable, probably good upgrade. Especially with this crowd. But even then did Joe need to help out with everyone else, I managed to serve the other tables. Taking down orders and bringing them up, but the moment the clock struck twelve. Did I know I was going to be in for it. "Joe. I have to go." I said, coming up behind her as she was making a drink. Her eyes brows scrunched together before she looked at her watch, it was midnight. On a school night. "Gogo." She said handing me the keys to the restaurant, I hurried on over. Making sure to get everything of mine before locking up. My mistake was thinking I could get in without proper identification. "Can you give this to Joe. She's working tonight and wanted me to lock up the restaurant." The bodyguard wasn't that much of an asshole and agreed, making me race home on the bike. Trying to be as quiet as possible sort of just rolling into the barn without using the engine. However, Michael and my mother were waiting for me. Their darting eyes shot towards me as I walked on in. "Sorry. Sorry. There was a big clean up." I whispered, trying not to wake Mickey upstairs. "We'll talk about this tomorrow Aurora." Nodding did I say my goodnights before silently walking upstairs to my room. Taking a quick shower and returning to my homework. It was almost two o'clock when I finally had gotten around to go to sleep.


	5. -SuddenlyEmployed-

My alarm clock blared beside my head making me gasp for air as if I was lacking it, but the moment I calmed on down did I realize where I was. It's Tuesday. And from the looks of it, I finished all my homework. Just need a cup of coffee or tea and I'll be all set. Getting dressed into my normal attire, just switching out my tall boots for a different brand did I head downstairs. Getting a cup of coffee and fruit as I managed to get through Jarod. "Goodmorning!" I yelped, surprising him entirely. Making him chuckle into his chocolate milk. "Someones awake. Did mom talk to you yet?" Shaking my head did he just peer on back down to his food before him, not saying anything more than that. So avoiding that conversation did I make my way upstairs from the spiral staircase in the kitchen. 

I still needed to do my face, and this coffee needed to be in my system before seven. So I hurried on my way, not bothering with my hair for it's curly enough at the moment. So I just took my longer bangs and bobby pinned them to the back of my head. Before returning downstairs with my dishes. My mom was right there, feeding Mickey. While Jarod was quick to leave the room the second I entered. "I'm sorry for worrying you, there was a line of people ordering food." "Please don't make it a habit." "If it's because the bike makes too much noise I'll fix it-" Her smile rang from her face as she continued to feed the baby. I thought she was mad..."Sweetie, it's alright. I was just worried that's all. Michael kept telling me you were fine. Sure you're not overworking?" Shaking my head did I not want to pass that idea off to her. 

Continuing to get ready does Jarod walk me over to my bike. "You gonna go to this party on Saturday?" "Is this you asking me if I'm going or to go?" His stern face dropped on out, and instead of me laughing I just mimicked him. And then started to laugh. "I won't go if you don't want me to, I think my friends can throw a better party anyway," I exclaimed as I unlocked the barn door, him following me was another sign. "I don't want you going to that." Eyeing him as I placed down my helmet and my hand hooked to my hip. "Why not?"   
"Because...They do..." "Drugs? Alcohol? Everything that you plan on doing?" Silence overstepped the conversation, so I just pulled out my bike. Putting my helmet on as sliding up the black glass part of it so he could see where I was looking. "I'll let you go if you go to this party." "The hell kind of deal is this?" "I won't tell mom about either one of them." Squinting my eyes at him, I began to throw scenarios about what sort of plan I would have. Would he be that willing to get on my bad side, but his rising smirk meant there was a catch. "There's an 'and'." "And...You have to take a date." That right there had me sink my head back to look directly up, a date? I'm going to be chaperoned by some of my brother's football buddies, and I bet my bike it's Daniel. "If it's Daniel I'm telling mom right now about both parties." "No. Ryan." I sighed in relief, as if I had a choice anyway, I want to hang outside of school with my friends. 

Along with being confined to just this friend group, I'll make it a living hell for them all. However, my side eye was blocked from his view due to me pulling down the shade and starting my bike. A quick salute was all I needed before speeding off towards a different sort of hell. Seeing my friends at their usual spot I come on over with my helmet in hand and a good smile on their face. Trevor offers me a cigarette like he does every morning, but this time do I take it. "Someone feeling a little antsy this morning?" "My brother," I said, while having it between my lips and sparking the lighter in a small little area between my hands. Before returning it back to whomever it was. "What did big old boy Jarod do?" "Making me go on a damn date with one of his friends." "Can't make that interesting. Now, can't we." The eyes all drifted over to my brother across the parking lot, he held up a hand to wave towards me. And as I was about to make a grand gesture back, Trevor pulls his arm around my neck. Having my brother freeze in response. I chuckled at all the expressions changing from a smile to a wide open mouth in an instant. "Damn, I'd done that a long time ago if I knew I'd get that response," I said as we entered in with the group falling behind. My cigarette was already on the floor as I had one last breath in before throwing it onto the ground and making sure to step on it. The only issue was, he didn't let go of his hold on me until after I got to my locker. Or escorted.

"You're willing to go on a date with one of his friends to hang out with us?" "The bonfire sounds like fun. Of course." The smiles all went around, and either that was a good thing. Or a very different approach than I would have seen. Karen and Rachel were excited, but now that there was going to be a few more people than just us. At least a good twenty. Trevor left to go to whichever end of the school he hides out for during class, while Shawn was already in Psychology. 

But as was Stephaine. Her smile towards me earned me a slightly odd eye from my partner beside me, and I explained it was my brother's friend. If that is even the case. "Brother taking over your life sweetheart?"   
"He wishes. You heard about the bonfire deal right?"   
"Yeah, everyone's just excited to finally have a night out." I nodded, opening my notebook and sliding him a piece of paper as our usual routine. 

The teacher was yet to be in the class so we continued to talk about what we were gonna be doing, just standard stuff as what I'm hearing. But the rumor of shrooms being there was a complete throw off. "Shrooms and fire don't mix well."   
"That's true."   
"How much money goes into this sort of thing?"   
"Connecticut stoners make you pay? Nah this is different, usually, Dixon covers everything. But we bring our own share. You'll be fine. It's your first time." Rolling my eyes did I offer to bring snacks and things of that nature, and he said it was fine. 

The only thing is bringing it to the actual bonfire. This was all going to be next week, sad to say it's not this weekend. Getting me sort of excited to go to this. Pumping it up entirely. "Might make an appearance to this frap party."   
"That's what they're calling it?"   
"Gotta stick together, can't have you going off to the dark side."   
"In my brother's eyes. I'm already there." The last laugh we squeezed in as the teacher strolled on in, a small groan entered the classroom as we were surprised with a test. Especially since it was this early in the morning, the subject was easy. And I made sure that Shawn could see my paper at all times, don't like seeing people fail when they don't know the answer. This was an odd timing test as well. He thanked me when we were walking out of class, but just like the first day of school. Does Daniel come charging through the hallway, completely ignoring him like I do his texts do I say 'hi' to my brother as he walks on down.

Men are so easy to get angry. 

Especially this one. Rounding into Law class did I see my friend was not here, perhaps her other class took her away. So I just took the back seat and started to 'do now' before we were told to. I hate when the teachers act like we are younger than we actually are. I'm supposed to be a senior but whatever happened to that is beyond my knowledge at the moment. "Seat taken?" About to shake my head do I think it's a good idea, and I'm glad it was. Because it was my supposes date to the party. "Heard there was a surprise quiz in Psych, was it hard?" "Not too difficult," I said, still writing down my thoughts for the do now. It was basic terms and definitions if the law book taught me anything it would be that there is nothing more important than that.

Again did the teacher return, to explain the definitions and responses without allowing us to guess for ourselves. Maybe I take that back, this was better than babying us. In the end, will it weed out the people who don't take this seriously. "You don't have to go to the party with me..." He whispered, and I was yet to understand why he had done that. Out of everyone in this school, he was probably the better man out of the rest. "Don't want someone to be by themselves." "You sure? Jarod said he'd ask you for me. Not have a deal with you." "He's new at this sibling thing, Mickey was his only practice before me...But you could have asked me yourself." My smirk rang as I resumed my focus to the class. And his nervous response rang in the back of my head, he likes me. 

Damnit. 

Thought I could through the year without the new girl tag becoming too real for anyone to deal with. "Maybe we can hang out this weekend?" My smile was a shock in myself because I truly did not know what I was getting myself into. "I work at the dinner in town."   
"Now that isn't something your brother said." I chuckled as the teacher caught on to our separate discussion, and I continued to write notes. Trying to seem as aware of everything as I could. "Heard Michael is leaving soon." "Yeah. It's my first time for that too." My left hand was holding my head up from the lack of interesting from whatever this man is mumbling about. Over and over the same damn thing.

"Jarod usually steps up." "Could figure that much out." There was no eye contact, I was trying to focus and not arouse any more suspicion to everyone here who could obviously hear the conversation. The bell soon rang, signaling the start of the next class. And personally was not waiting for Ryan to actually wait for me to gather my things to walk to my next class. "I mean it, I'll take you out to dinner....Or we can just hang out." Again did my smile ring, probably from the fact he was nicer than I would normally be expected. Especially with Daniel giving him this dirtiest look. "Well see... I don't want to start fights between the two of you." "He'll get over the damn thing, it was a month ago." I chuckled before heading off in the other direction, and a swift hand caught over my neck. Knowing full well it's Trevor. "Got another football boy after you?" "Nothing I can't handle." He hummed a response, before explaining details on the party coming up. They were putting more work into this than their school work. Or even their attention to school.

But I've seen this before. Again. Nothing I can't handle. "Drinking or smoking?" "Why not both." I chuckled, grabbing the textbook I needed for math. And in turn did his laughter come on forward. K&R are coming as well, so I wouldn't be the only girl there. But Trevor was just surprised by the reaction. "That a girl! First party in the state. It gotta be good." Rolling my eyes did I say my goodbyes before walking into math, now it was this lady that I had the most trouble with. If I didn't know any better then I would have been in trouble, but lucky enough. My brother comes on by. "Hey!" "Hi. The first time you're talking to me at school. Need something?" "The guys wanted to hang out at the house Friday night and I said you'd be there..." My mind just drifted once I heard that I wanted to make an excuse. Especially since I didn't want to deal with more than one event with the wrong crowd. Especially when I still want to go to this bonfire party. "Might be working..."  
"That's what Ryan said."   
"I'm trying to save up my sick days so I can go to your party and this bonfire thing okay?" He stopped in the middle of the hallway, gripping my arm and pulling me to the side near some poor freshman's locker. Like I was a child. Swinging my arm away was I confused on what he meant by this. "You got invited to the bonfire?"  
"Yeah..."   
"Think you can bring a few guests?"   
"No." He groaned into the air, exclusive party and I just laughed entirely as he tried to get connections through me to get to this damn thing. "Your taking Ryan aren't you. I knew it." "Nope. It's me and my friends. Thought you didn't like them anyway." He tried to salvage me getting him an invitation but I just shook my head and headed back through the main hallways to get to my class. Slipping my phone out of my jacket pocket did I text Trevor. 

>my brother just asked me if he could come to the bonfire :'D <

Slipping it into my bag did I hear it vibrate like crazy, but I ended up sitting in the back of the class so I could be able to respond. 

>Shit. That just made my day.<

No reason to respond. Especially since I needed to focus on all subjects. 

The teacher didn't care what we did as long as we handed in our work at the end of the class. And with twenty minutes remaining did I start my other assignments, this week would be unforgiving with homework. I had two essays to complete and no time for them.

Even if I got home right after lunch would I still be in the zone of not being able to concentrate. Walking my usual way towards my bike did I pass by the tree I almost always sit at before leaving. "Hey Blake!" It was Shawn, he waves his hand to call me over. So I fix my strap and hurry along towards them. "How did it go down with your brother?" "I told him no. He wanted to invite friends." Everyone's expression began to turn into a humorous laughter, really setting the tone from whatever they were talking about before my arrival. "Glad we made an impression on them." "It's probably the people from the other school that shares too much." They were just beaming with joy in how much my jock brother wanted to join this party. And to be honest, they are invited to all of the other parties in hopes of being good enough for this one.

Guys, it's the hooks ups.

Heading home did I see that my mom's car was in the line of them all, but Michael's was still gone. For a few days now it would seem, makes me wonder if he ever came home for a brief moment. "Hey mom!" I yell as I enter the house, she peaks her head out from the kitchen and yells a greeting as well. Her being in her nurse uniform meant that she was needed. Especially since her hair was up. "I know this is a late favor to ask, but the babysitter canceled and-"   
"Don't worry. Mickey and I will be fine. Jarod's coming home in a few hours anyway." She smiled, kissing my cheek before running out the door. 

The was the first time I was left alone with my little brother, and in one quick moment. Did it all fall apart. He began to cry, and no amount of effort would be enough for him to stop. Not until I brought him to his room and began to talk to him, telling him that everything is alright. Showing him pictures of his parents, he began to calm down. Becoming the laughable little boy I've grown with, and before I knew it. 

He was alright.

So I brought him back downstairs to give him a small snack, mom was participating this because she left me a 'to do list,' and most of it was either reading to him, play with him in his room. Or just give him a bath so he can take a nap. I wouldn't do that, mess up his sleep schedule. But the hour began to grow over time and there was a point in time I would have to get to work. So I began to work on my essay as he played on the floor beside me, just waiting by the door all dressed and ready to go to work. "Hey Blake. Mom not home?" "She had to go to work. Do you have practice?" "Shit yeah, I'll call Maddie, she usually takes him if I can't...Are you late for work?" Shaking my head did I explain to him that I called Joe to tell her I might be late, the situation was hectic because it was the first time this had happened. 

With Michael's departure day coming soon, I began to worry about how stressful everyday life will be. Or how mom will react to his leaving...The fact that Maddie has done this before just serves the worriment that it has happened before that she needs to watch him.But he soon pushed me out of the house, packing my bag did I run on off to my bike and hurried to the restaurant. Apologizing the second I came on in, there was barely three families and nothing she couldn't handle. It was the organization of the order in meals that are the biggest trouble we have, and since it is Tuesday night. I would assume so as well.

It was a quiet night after the insane rush, and I was trying to finish up the last few questions. I was surprised by looking out the window to see how dark it truly was. "Struggling there I see." "Yea. House is stressed cause stepdad's leaving." Her eyes widened as she completely understood the situation, like my mother had hinted before. Holden was a name everyone knew in town, since we don't live on base. It was sort of a large opportunity that my family lives here. "If you need to take a break, I don't mind calling up my nieces. "Weekends are the biggest issue, but that's when you need me the most." "School work is more important, don't want to end up like me do ya?" Her attitude spiked a bit higher in the most humorous of ways, but I did, however, bring dinner home for my mom and brother because I wasn't there to make anything. 

I doubt Jarod knows how to cook for himself, but this was just the difference. Because the second I walked on into the door, and mom's car was still not back. I handed him the plastic container of food. "Mom's not back?" "She doesn't come home until late these times. It's because dad's leaving." I nodded in agreement as I went to put mom's plate into the fridge, making a note for her when she does make it home. I was almost done with my first essay, I just needed another hour.

But in this moment, did I feel the need to talk to my brother. About what is going to happen when Micheal leaves. "What is the plan...What Micheal does leave?" "Mom usually takes off her shifts from the base to stay home with Mickey. Takes early morning shifts instead. Not much changes." I nodded. Signaling I knew what he meant. "But what about mom? Is she alright when he leaves?"   
"She's quieter, but never enough to make me question it." It is a scary thing say goodbye to a family member, even if I've seen him once. "But we do have this little thing we do. We wear his dog-tags when he's away." I nodded once again. Wanting to partake in this like the rest of my family. 

Again was I surprised at how quickly I've adapted to living here with family I barely know as well I wished, I guess hardships and distress are what bring us all together. "I'm gonna hit the hay, does Mickey have a monitor?" Jarod held it up in his hand, reaching for it did he not allow. Assuming he would be up with mom was just a straight shot, so I gave up and headed to my room. Just plopping right down so I could get some sleep.


	6. -CountDown-

It was Friday already. And I couldn't be happier. This meant the bonfire was just a week and a few days closer. The only downfall was that it meant that Michael was leaving. Jarod did end up giving the metal dog-tags, and I promised I would wear them the entire time that he is away. Our little family bonding moment, once mom sees me wearing it.

But it was that one day of the week that I end up helping at the bar, making drinks and waitressing at a different hour of the night. Luckily Joe called and told me to come later at night, at about seven so that I could leave at a decent time of Midnight. Leaving me enough time to finish my essay, even with Mickey distracting me. For mom was still out working. 

I haven't seen her since she rushed out of the house yesterday afternoon, and I was beginning to worry about her overworking. She was taking the same strategy with me, I don't think I was clear. Or rather she was clear about what truly happened to me, honestly, she's built herself a good life. And I don't want to ruin it for her.

I grew up, she wasn't there. And my asshole father was nothing more than an abusive, giving me the scar on my back. At one point in time I wish they could just cut out that piece of skin on my back, it was the only evidence I am walking around with. Every day for the rest of my life.

What a great reminder in doing Law homework and reading about the different types of evidence there are, I know my fault for taking this class. But for some reason, it hurt more than I care to admit. Until my phone began to buzz, amusing to think it's Jarod or my mother was an obvious choice. But it was work. Calling to tell me that they don't need me, and at the worse possibly day as well. Considering my brother's friends are coming, and I don't want to just show up to my friend's hang out unannounced. So instead, I called my mother and explained that she could take her time returning home. 

However, she was already on her way home. Tired as all hell, so instead. I had the plan of finally customizing the bike, the paints were all set to draw on it. I just need to decide what sort of image I wish to have.

Mom soon came home, wearing the attire I have seen her in all week. Before she questioned why I wouldn't be going to work. Apparently, Joe is going to a party and her nieces are covering the entire restaurant, so in favor to me. She's giving me my Friday off, something I wish she would have saved for another time. But alas, I could use this. "Jarod texted me saying his friends will be over." "Yeah, I'm going to stay in the barn." "All night? I was thinking we could go out and do something." I honestly was not expecting her to come out of the blue with plans. Especially with little Mickey with us, and Michael coming home at the most random time throughout the week. And his deployment coming around the corner? It was just a mix of everything at once. "I wanted to get something done with my bike, shouldn't take more than an hour or two. Is it too late then?" She shook her head no, motioning her outfit. So she too needed time to get ready. On the other hand, Mickey would be joining us, the first time I am out on this side of the family. And I couldn't be more nervous.

Taking my bag full of homework and everything else, so I find myself opening the bar as my brother and his friends coming forward into the area we park our cars. Knowing well enough that this won't work well...

Uncovering the paint and readying the gun, do I sketch a few ideas in my mind that I've always dreamed of adding to the bike I was wanting to get. Of course, this wasn't it, but it's better than anything I could have afforded in my lifetime at the moment. 

The image was not to be big, but just a little customization from my own side. Normally people would want fire, I on the other hand. Felt a sort of connection to a symbol that I've to know since I was a child. A Triquetra, not too small and not too big either. Just big enough for me to see when I'm riding. 

To me, it felt like I was issuing a tattoo to my own body, and in that regard, I am pretty much doing it. For this was the tattoo I wished to get the second I turn 18. "Hey, Blake. Brother said you were in here." Ryan said, stumbling on in. The noise of the radio blaring music and the buzz of the gun had me at mute to the world outside, smiling upwards did I think it was enough to show that I was busy. "Gonna come hang out with us?"  
"Mom wanted to do something with me tonight."   
"Bummer. Kinda wanted to hang out before the party."   
"Two weeks away, we'll figure something out." Was the last thing I said, before fixing my position and beginning to fill in the small design. 

The position I was in wasn't the best for his perspective, well for him, it's probably a sight. For me it was just the way I had always done it, that is...Until Daniel found his way into my shop. "Whoa." He muttered before I heard the gentle nudge he had done to his friend, this was weird. And I grew up in foster care for most of my life, this was just the end trail of it. "Don't like an audience when I'm working." Another quick lookup did Ryan say his goodbye before leaving, of course, the nicer of the two leaves first. Instead of leaving did he earn his way closer to me, kneeling down before me. Much too close to my bike. "You really taking Ryan to the party?" "He asked first." He muttered a curse word as I continued to fill in the symbol, at last, I was done. Stepping on off from my bike did I look to him. Still staring at me. "Please leave."   
"Why? Just want to talk."   
"You're not talking. Please leave." He wouldn't budge, closing my eyes thinking he would disappear was a mistake. 

Instead, Daniel gripped the handle of my bike and twisted. "Don't touch her again," I said, wiping the paint from my hands and continuing to clean up my little area of the barn. It was turning better than I expected, probably add the posters in here rather than my room. That's for show, this is my own workshop. "Can I offer you a beer?"   
"Better hide that before my mom sees it." He chuckled, coming on closer towards me. The smell of booze all too familiar with my time in working in a bar, and my father. "Don't drink?"   
"Not with you."  
"Heard you're going to the bonfire. Sure I can't get an invite?"   
"Leave now and I'll think about it." He nodded, holding his bottle up in the air before walking out backward. Sighing did I already know my friends would kill him on the spot. He made such a big argument with me that it would just hurt my image. Whatever it might be at the moment.

So as I round back to the house, wanting to wash up just a bit before heading out to dinner or whatever my mom had in mind. Did we end up just going shopping. I pushed the cart with little Mickey in the child's section of the thing. While she just looked at her list. "There is a few meetings at the military base...Jarod's going." Looking up from my brother playing with my one single hand did I question it. "Is it for kids or-" "Both, good for you to get to know about it a bit more." Nodding did I continue to push the cart forward, helping her grab a few items to eat. And a few little sweets for myself, she wouldn't say no. And I didn't want to take that against her, so I bought myself a phone case. And hid it under everything so she wouldn't notice. "You have enough clothes?" "Yeah. Enough for the whole school to have an outfit. Went a little overboard there mom." She put back the shirt she was looking towards, peering over at me...I did not want to get emotional with her, right here. In the store. "I just wanted you to get comfortable here." 

Pushing the cart closer to her so I could be within arms reach did I pull her into a hug. My boots making me massively taller than her might have been an unfair advantage, but she tried her hardest on her tippy toes to reach my shoulder. "I'm comfortable here. I've made friends. Michael's nice. I'm happy. Alright?"   
"Just wish you didn't have to go through all that you did."   
"Same goes for you too. I'm not a child anymore, and you have him to look after now." She nodded, sniffling up whatever sort of reason she started to cry before moving on. The total amount of money well spent here was scary, and I completely forgot to pay for my own phone case when the time came. Guess I was just too worked up about her facing the truth. 

With Mickey snoring away, and twenty more minutes in the car ride left. I started the conversation. "How did you meet Michael?"  
"Started working at the base, paid well, finally had my nursing degree." Nodding. I was proud of my mom to put past the abuse and neglect she had gotten from my sperm donor. But this was just the mess of it all. "He tried everything in his power to get you sooner."   
"Not his problem to worry about."   
"Now it is. He loves you like his own." I sighed. Knowing again that I have to warm up to the idea of another man in my life trying to be my father figure. It was my foster parents, the number of them I've had over the years. This was the final one, and he is leaving soon... "I'll get there soon. I promise." She smiled, taking her eyes off the road for just one quick second to look on over towards me before we finally got back to the house. Mom was quick to get Mickey, and whether the guys in the house were trying to be helpful. Or Ryan and Daniel were trying to impress me by bringing most of the bags in the house, I was beaten. 

Saying goodnight to everyone in the living room, did I manage to climb up the stairs and change into something more comfortable. The coldness outside was different in here, the heat was cranked high. Not even wanting to know what the heat bill is every month, did I decide to wear some shorts and a crop tank top to bed. 

Combing through my hair was I trying to get through all the knots from the show I had just taken. Luckily my brother's friends were all downstairs in the basement...Or I hope they were. I had no bra on and short shorts on, trying to relax while getting ready for bed. 

The knock on the door scared me, but I just yelled a normal 'enter' as I turned to look who it was. Assuming it was my mom, but it wasn't. It was Ryan. "Hey."   
"Hey...I know it's late, but I was meaning to talk to you." Rolling my eyes did I grab the light sweater beside me to cover my entire stomach. Going up to him with my arms crossing over my chest did I ask the word 'what' in my body single motion. "Just wanted to say goodnight." "Please tell me you're staying, I don't want Daniel to come up here in the middle of the night." "No...I am. I am...Just...Nevermind. Goodnight." I smiled while returning the comment, him staying still didn't stop me from locking the door. 

Getting into bed with all the lights shut off, was I still tossing and turning. What the fuck was I going to do about these two jock boys?


	7. -Deployed-

It was Friday already. And I couldn't be happier. This meant the bonfire was just a week and a few days closer. The only downfall was that it meant that Michael was leaving. Jarod did end up giving the metal dog-tags, and I promised I would wear them the entire time that he is away. Our little family bonding moment, once mom sees me wearing it.

But it was that one day of the week that I end up helping at the bar, making drinks and waitressing at a different hour of the night. Luckily Joe called and told me to come later at night, at about seven so that I could leave at a decent time of Midnight. Leaving me enough time to finish my essay, even with Mickey distracting me. For mom was still out working. 

I haven't seen her since she rushed out of the house yesterday afternoon, and I was beginning to worry about her overworking. She was taking the same strategy with me, I don't think I was clear. Or rather she was clear about what truly happened to me, honestly, she's built herself a good life. And I don't want to ruin it for her.

I grew up, she wasn't there. And my asshole father was nothing more than an abusive, giving me the scar on my back. At one point in time I wish they could just cut out that piece of skin on my back, it was the only evidence I am walking around with. Every day for the rest of my life.

What a great reminder in doing Law homework and reading about the different types of evidence there are, I know my fault for taking this class. But for some reason, it hurt more than I care to admit. Until my phone began to buzz, amusing to think it's Jarod or my mother was an obvious choice. But it was work. Calling to tell me that they don't need me, and at the worse possibly day as well. Considering my brother's friends are coming, and I don't want to just show up to my friend's hang out unannounced. So instead, I called my mother and explained that she could take her time returning home. 

However, she was already on her way home. Tired as all hell, so instead. I had the plan of finally customizing the bike, the paints were all set to draw on it. I just need to decide what sort of image I wish to have.

Mom soon came home, wearing the attire I have seen her in all week. Before she questioned why I wouldn't be going to work. Apparently, Joe is going to a party and her nieces are covering the entire restaurant, so in favor to me. She's giving me my Friday off, something I wish she would have saved for another time. But alas, I could use this. "Jarod texted me saying his friends will be over." "Yeah, I'm going to stay in the barn." "All night? I was thinking we could go out and do something." I honestly was not expecting her to come out of the blue with plans. Especially with little Mickey with us, and Michael coming home at the most random time throughout the week. And his deployment coming around the corner? It was just a mix of everything at once. "I wanted to get something done with my bike, shouldn't take more than an hour or two. Is it too late then?" She shook her head no, motioning her outfit. So she too needed time to get ready. On the other hand, Mickey would be joining us, the first time I am out on this side of the family. And I couldn't be more nervous.

Taking my bag full of homework and everything else, so I find myself opening the bar as my brother and his friends coming forward into the area we park our cars. Knowing well enough that this won't work well...

Uncovering the paint and readying the gun, do I sketch a few ideas in my mind that I've always dreamed of adding to the bike I was wanting to get. Of course, this wasn't it, but it's better than anything I could have afforded in my lifetime at the moment. 

The image was not to be big, but just a little customization from my own side. Normally people would want fire, I on the other hand. Felt a sort of connection to a symbol that I've to know since I was a child. A Triquetra, not too small and not too big either. Just big enough for me to see when I'm riding. 

To me, it felt like I was issuing a tattoo to my own body, and in that regard, I am pretty much doing it. For this was the tattoo I wished to get the second I turn 18. "Hey, Blake. Brother said you were in here." Ryan said, stumbling on in. The noise of the radio blaring music and the buzz of the gun had me at mute to the world outside, smiling upwards did I think it was enough to show that I was busy. "Gonna come hang out with us?"  
"Mom wanted to do something with me tonight."   
"Bummer. Kinda wanted to hang out before the party."   
"Two weeks away, we'll figure something out." Was the last thing I said, before fixing my position and beginning to fill in the small design. 

The position I was in wasn't the best for his perspective, well for him, it's probably a sight. For me it was just the way I had always done it, that is...Until Daniel found his way into my shop. "Whoa." He muttered before I heard the gentle nudge he had done to his friend, this was weird. And I grew up in foster care for most of my life, this was just the end trail of it. "Don't like an audience when I'm working." Another quick lookup did Ryan say his goodbye before leaving, of course, the nicer of the two leaves first. Instead of leaving did he earn his way closer to me, kneeling down before me. Much too close to my bike. "You really taking Ryan to the party?" "He asked first." He muttered a curse word as I continued to fill in the symbol, at last, I was done. Stepping on off from my bike did I look to him. Still staring at me. "Please leave."   
"Why? Just want to talk."   
"You're not talking. Please leave." He wouldn't budge, closing my eyes thinking he would disappear was a mistake. 

Instead, Daniel gripped the handle of my bike and twisted. "Don't touch her again," I said, wiping the paint from my hands and continuing to clean up my little area of the barn. It was turning better than I expected, probably add the posters in here rather than my room. That's for show, this is my own workshop. "Can I offer you a beer?"   
"Better hide that before my mom sees it." He chuckled, coming on closer towards me. The smell of booze all too familiar with my time in working in a bar, and my father. "Don't drink?"   
"Not with you."  
"Heard you're going to the bonfire. Sure I can't get an invite?"   
"Leave now and I'll think about it." He nodded, holding his bottle up in the air before walking out backward. Sighing did I already know my friends would kill him on the spot. He made such a big argument with me that it would just hurt my image. Whatever it might be at the moment.

So as I round back to the house, wanting to wash up just a bit before heading out to dinner or whatever my mom had in mind. Did we end up just going shopping. I pushed the cart with little Mickey in the child's section of the thing. While she just looked at her list. "There is a few meetings at the military base...Jarod's going." Looking up from my brother playing with my one single hand did I question it. "Is it for kids or-" "Both, good for you to get to know about it a bit more." Nodding did I continue to push the cart forward, helping her grab a few items to eat. And a few little sweets for myself, she wouldn't say no. And I didn't want to take that against her, so I bought myself a phone case. And hid it under everything so she wouldn't notice. "You have enough clothes?" "Yeah. Enough for the whole school to have an outfit. Went a little overboard there mom." She put back the shirt she was looking towards, peering over at me...I did not want to get emotional with her, right here. In the store. "I just wanted you to get comfortable here." 

Pushing the cart closer to her so I could be within arms reach did I pull her into a hug. My boots making me massively taller than her might have been an unfair advantage, but she tried her hardest on her tippy toes to reach my shoulder. "I'm comfortable here. I've made friends. Michael's nice. I'm happy. Alright?"   
"Just wish you didn't have to go through all that you did."   
"Same goes for you too. I'm not a child anymore, and you have him to look after now." She nodded, sniffling up whatever sort of reason she started to cry before moving on. The total amount of money well spent here was scary, and I completely forgot to pay for my own phone case when the time came. Guess I was just too worked up about her facing the truth. 

With Mickey snoring away, and twenty more minutes in the car ride left. I started the conversation. "How did you meet Michael?"  
"Started working at the base, paid well, finally had my nursing degree." Nodding. I was proud of my mom to put past the abuse and neglect she had gotten from my sperm donor. But this was just the mess of it all. "He tried everything in his power to get you sooner."   
"Not his problem to worry about."   
"Now it is. He loves you like his own." I sighed. Knowing again that I have to warm up to the idea of another man in my life trying to be my father figure. It was my foster parents, the number of them I've had over the years. This was the final one, and he is leaving soon... "I'll get there soon. I promise." She smiled, taking her eyes off the road for just one quick second to look on over towards me before we finally got back to the house. Mom was quick to get Mickey, and whether the guys in the house were trying to be helpful. Or Ryan and Daniel were trying to impress me by bringing most of the bags in the house, I was beaten. 

Saying goodnight to everyone in the living room, did I manage to climb up the stairs and change into something more comfortable. The coldness outside was different in here, the heat was cranked high. Not even wanting to know what the heat bill is every month, did I decide to wear some shorts and a crop tank top to bed. 

Combing through my hair was I trying to get through all the knots from the show I had just taken. Luckily my brother's friends were all downstairs in the basement...Or I hope they were. I had no bra on and short shorts on, trying to relax while getting ready for bed. 

The knock on the door scared me, but I just yelled a normal 'enter' as I turned to look who it was. Assuming it was my mom, but it wasn't. It was Ryan. "Hey."   
"Hey...I know it's late, but I was meaning to talk to you." Rolling my eyes did I grab the light sweater beside me to cover my entire stomach. Going up to him with my arms crossing over my chest did I ask the word 'what' in my body single motion. "Just wanted to say goodnight." "Please tell me you're staying, I don't want Daniel to come up here in the middle of the night." "No...I am. I am...Just...Nevermind. Goodnight." I smiled while returning the comment, him staying still didn't stop me from locking the door. 

Getting into bed with all the lights shut off, was I still tossing and turning. What the fuck was I going to do about these two jock boys?


	8. -Deployed-

Waking up late the next morning allowed me the extra moment to sleep on in, but arriving at school with my friends all inside already gave me the lack of cigarette in the morning. Like I wasn't on edge already.

Just arriving before the last bell to signal the beginning of the class did I realize that Shawn was already looking up from his doodle with a smirk. "Rough night last night?" He joked ,like I was hungover or whatever other assumption he got. But I nodded in agreement, it was a hard night. "You okay?" "Just dandy," I said, opening my notebook to focus on class.

I just worried for my mom, and brothers. And especially Michael, he loves us and didn't want to leave. And every time I thought about him, my hand would automatically connect to the dog tags around my neck. They were under my leather jacket, visible but only if someone was looking.

Unless I had them hanging out like I do now. "Dad's gone?" Looking to my right did I scrunch my eyebrow together. How did he know? "Stepdad left yesterday." "No fun getting hammered by yourself." "Didn't. Saving my liver for Saturday." Another smile appeared to my friend beside me, the fact that he too was excited to go to this little event excites me all the bit more.

"Everything at home alright?" Shawn asked, and I only nodded. Trying to seem distracted by what the teacher was saying, but there was nothing important. Knowing I dismissed the question. "Guess I didn't really give him a chance before he had to leave." Was all I could, not wanting any sympathy or pity. Did he just give me a nod and the smallest smile in the world. "Pops left me and my mom a decade ago." Pondering what I should say, gave me the indication of how this friendship was building. "I wish that was my case...With my first dad." That was as far as I was going to go into the subject, only knowing this man for a few weeks, couple months at the most. It is hard to know who is trustworthy and who is not.

With my day coming to an end, I found myself working for a couple extra minutes on the last assignment that my teacher let me finish. Even with the second bell already rang, did she still allow me leeway. Handing in my paper, did she comment on my jacket. "Miss Blake...I have you down as Aurora Blake-Holden." She said, taking a lay back into her black swirly chair, making me grip the notebook in my hand a bit tighter. She was the only one who almost called me by my first name. "I prefer Blake." She pulled her hands up and apologized fairly quickly, before looking down at another list. "I had Jarod Holden...Is there any relation?" She asked, glancing upwards to see my response. "Yes. He's my stepbrother." Her smile rang free, I assume my brother was either a character or her favorite student. Either or. "I knew those dog-tags weren't just a fashion icon...Was your father deployed?" She asked, and I truly did not wish to have a conversation with her. She was nice, but this was out of thin air. "Stepfather...And yeah, this is my first time." Again, just like I feared with Shawn. Occurred with a teacher and someone I would have assumed did not hold anything in the sense of pity.

She did just that.

Rising up to her feet did she begin to explain to me that if I was falling behind, in anything. That I should come and speak directly to her, still wondering what relation she had with my brother. Or even family, but it was nice to know that this one teacher was fully supportive on my side.

With the five minutes knocked out of the way, did I hurry on off to my locker. Grabbing my helmet and finally putting on my jacket to get on out of this damn school. I wasn't having it today, just the drainage of having to go home knowing both my mom and brother are going to be disappointed.

And I honestly don't know where I fit, I'm sad. For more than a few reasons, but I just feel more drained than anything else at the moment. As I was about to close my locker, did I hear her coming down the hallway. Maddie, not wearing her normal cheerleader attire. And I have to admit, her fall look is definitely one for the books. "Blake!" She exclaimed, giving her a kind smile before just closing my locker. Knowing for a fact that all her friends were looking at her like an insane crazy person made it all the more reason to be nice. "Hey..." I said, bending my knee trying to have my helmet move on forward. My silent way of say 'I'm trying to leave,' "I heard that Michael left last night...If you ever need anything you can call me. You, your brother and mom. I want you to know that." Again did I nod, but she was too chipper this Monday school day. "I-I'm heading home...see you tomorrow." Was the last thing I said before going off to walk, but she was quick to catch up with me. "Not going to lunch?" "I get to leave early." She nodded, and it almost saddened my heart to make her pout like that. So I sighed, telling her a strict time frame. 'Ten minutes' which had her clap in approval before dragging my free hand into the cafeteria. 

It was standard, nothing really abnormal about it. Since it also dueled for an auditorium as well, having the stage upon above, it felt just odd being here. Considering I've always gone home for lunch or stayed a few minutes with my friends. I will say though, it was nice seeing my brother for a good minute of the school day. But he too shared the drainage I did.

The common trait over what happened yesterday.

With the conversation blaring around us, I figured that everyone was just talking about school. But as Maddie continued to question me about one certain thing, I honestly couldn't take being here any longer. This feeling, this surreal feeling of my stepdad being in hostel territory frightened me beyond belief.

It's like I'm not in control of anything, just getting a new father figure into my life. And I couldn't deal with the torment of losing someone else in my life. "Blake?" The mumbled voice sounded, and at first, I was confused. Especially when I thought for a moment I was with my friends, but the second a hand touched my shoulder. Was when I looked on over to my brother, instead of explaining my incoherent ability to respond back. My feet landed on the floor from their cross-legged position and began to just walk on out. Passing by everyone through the chairs and slamming out the door.

The sound of my name calling over and over again was just another noise, one of which didn't stop until they caught on up to me. It wasn't Maddie, it wasn't Jarod. It was Ryan, and he had me stumbled as I missed a step forward almost bumping into him. I shook my head towards him, passing him by again and again before he finally blocked off the main exit. "Move." Was all I could say through my gritted teeth. That's when he shook his head, just leaning against the door as if I wouldn't make my efforts any more than that. 

"Are you alright?" That was his big effort in asking if I'm 'alright,' making a scene, chasing me down the hall. And blocking me right in this moment. "I'm fine."   
"Now when a girl says that, she never really means it." He was obviously prepared for my lie, so I just pulled the same position as he did. Crossed my arms and looked on over to him. "Get out of the way. I have work." The roll of his eyes just angered me more, who does he think he is to block me off like this. That's when another noise sounded, and I smiled. Knowing exactly who it was, the keen scent of cigarets and weed-filled the entire hallway as they were just at the end of the hall. 

My smile went on back towards Ryan as they came up around me, they did look intimidating, especially since he was flashing the school's symbol with the damn jock jacket. "Blake? This kid bothering you?" Looking over my shoulder to both Shawn and Trevor do I just shake my head. The fact that they were chewing gum, more than two sticks were because of their breath recking so heavily of it that even I could detect it. "No. He was just walking me to my bike." I state, passing him by and walking on out. Having him quickly follow down the steps in an effort to keep up, he was scared. And he had a right to be, the fact that Shawn's hair covered half his face at this point. And Trevor's visible snake tattoo on his neck. "What the hell was that?" He pointed back up to the school, like it was my fault that he wouldn't let me pass. "My friends." Was all I stated, putting my bag into the pouch at the bottom. Fixing my helmet and putting it on, but he was again. Not going to move. So up my visor went. "I'm alright. Okay? It's tough. I don't know what my step-dad is doing right now...Don't really need people chasing me down the hall like I'm losing my mind." He nodded in defeat, he cared. I get it. But I barely know him, just from law class, and that's only because I sat next to him a few weeks ago. 

There wasn't much else, not like I was going to share my whole life story with him. I don't know him, and I don't wish to know anyone at the moment. I want to be alone. Pulling down my visor did I bring my bike to life, kicking up the stand before backing on out with my two feet. But the second I had enough room, I bolted. Speeding on out of the school and onto the road, I was upset. Obviously, if Ryan or whoever didn't notice that much. Then they really did have a reason to ask. Jarod had been through this, and it doesn't get any easier from here on out. Understanding that now, I just wish there was reassurance that would make me feel at ease. 

Making it home wasn't difficult, it was leaving the garage to get to the house to face my mother. She stayed home today. And probably going to for a good week like Jarod warned about, but I don't think I can face her just yet. So I stayed. Doing my homework, sketching a little something before I worked up the courage to finally go inside, and it was a sight to see her actually relaxing on the couch in lounge clothes rather than her mom jeans or even the nurse uniform. "Hey honey. How was school?" "Alright." She was quick to notice the dog-tags and smiled before patting the seat beside her. Of course, I managed to take off my boots and place them down by the doormat before coming on over to her. "Are you sure you're alright, I don't want you being distracted at school." "I'll be alright, I'm still settling in I think." Adding the 'I think' to the end of my sentence was the best strategy I could have done, not wanting to come straight out and say 'I feel abandoned, again,' would hurt her just as much. She didn't want to abandon me, there was no way for her to get to me. 

Ending up going off into my room and trying to type up my essay, even then was I distracted by downloading either music or images from and to my phone. I needed to mix it up, and in that moment. Did I just put my headphones and blast the hell out of my ears. Giving me the final sound of peace to return to my writing process.

"BLAKE!" A sound yelled an inch from my ear, taking out my headphones did I look to see Jarod, confused at what I was doing. So finishing up my sentence, before looking back to see what he wanted. "Dinner's ready. Been calling you for five minutes." Holding up my headphones does he just chuckle, leaving me to go downstairs on my own. Pausing my music and rushing downstairs for this stupid essay for English on whatever theme we were discussing in class has worked an appetite. And the fact that my mother had made such a wonderful plate of food already made my belly rumble in the sight of food. We said our grace, that I memorized in the first week of being here. Before diving on into the foot.

Much like yesterday, there was no talking. Nothing, just a complement to the food or something director and for Mickey to hear. Otherwise, it was just silent, I didn't mind. Allowed us to finish our meals, but the looks Jarod has been giving me was just a sign that he wanted me to talk about today.

Assuming that Ryan told him I just left, he probably thought I ditched the rest of school. But that wasn't the factor, I'm allowed to leave school earlier. Probably another reason why he was so hesitant in leaving the building. Didn't think he was a goody two shoes until that moment. 

When dinner was finally over, mom began cleaning up the plates. That's when my brother beside me rose on up to take them from her. "Why don't you get Mickey to bed, Blake and I can do the dishes." He said, making it in the form of a question but then almost like a direct order. There was no way for her to say no, so she smiled in appreciation before leaving the room with my little brother. Leaving the mess to us.

Whipping my mouth one last time with the cloth that sat on my lap the entire dinner, did I take a good portion of the plates on over to the sink. Before taking the sponge and scrubbing them clean. "You gonna tell me what happened today?" I let out one chuckle, seeing as I had called it from just before. But when I looked on over to him, still doing my job. Before cowering back down. 

"Didn't think I was going to react this way." As he took the dishcloth, rubbing the dish before putting it on away. Returning to the conversation with a glass in hand. "I don't remember the first time he left...My mom died while he was on tour, so I stayed with a family friend most of the time. That's when dad met your mom." Trying to give a reasonable date in time for when this occurred, was probably years before. Just they didn't get married up until a few years ago, and even then did it not look good for me to come into a family that isn't deemed a family just yet.

With mom upstairs, did we finally have a minute to talk in private without her trying to get our brother to bed. "You ready for this weekend?" I chuckled, glancing at him for a moment.   
"Not tailing me my bonfire are you?" His scoff was louder than the running water, I bet he did think of pulling that stunt. "No. I have the football thing to go to, but you know...Maybe after you can slip in the address?" My head was a decent shake as he pretended to act like an upset child, grabbing the plate and drying it all with a pouting face. "You still going to Ryan to the party?" "Looks like it." Nothing more to say otherwise, did he upset me in the littlest bit. His sign once again signaled for the conversation to continue. Even if I didn't wish for it too.   
"What?"   
"Ryan's a good guy, give him a chance." I set down the dish, washing my hands off with a cloth and noticed that we forgot a few things. So leaving for a moment did I go and grab them. "I don't want to date right now." Returning did he go over to the fridge to put away the large salad bowl, only to return with another few dishes to dry. "Dan then?"   
"You just don't want me to date anyone in my group...Is that it?" His face became neutral, and I couldn't believe I figured him out that easily. "There is nothing wrong with my friends. I'm not going to date."   
"Promise?"   
"No." I snickered at his expression, I've been here for a good few months and there wasn't much to say about anyone here. I doubt I a good portion of names, and a good portion of people who hate me. So there is a good chance there are more Ryan's and Daniel's. Finishing up, did we both go on off to bed. I warned him about my shirt tomorrow, and he just saluted to me. Stumbling to his room before closing the door. Shouting a 'goodnight' through the room. But even I felt the mental drain. 

Making me do the same, readying myself for tomorrow.


	9. -AnotherNewFace-

I managed to get through the day without saying much, or little to nothing. I'm pretty sure my teacher from yesterday went on around to warn them. I tried to be productive, and both Ryan and Shawn managed to keep me entertained within the class. I just needed a few days to get through this jam, I needed my music. However, with a shift tonight, I managed to finish half my essay. But it was due tomorrow, so instead of leaving it uncompleted. I made it within myself to try and manage both the restaurant and the notebook at the corner of the bar.

Getting there was it not too crowded, and Joe allowed me the good ten minutes in before finally ended help around dinner time. Especially with the people eyeing my bike, taking a cigarette break right beside it. "They're still eyeing it, Blake." Chuckling, pull off the little four plates at a time while maneuvering around the counter to a family. Two children who more than a handful, so I gave them another sheet to color on. Hopefully distracting them enough for the mother and father to get a conversation or two in.

But that's when the smell of smoke just permeates the air. Out of politeness did I not stare, for they weren't regular costumers. And we're obviously the ones eyeing my bike. They make their way at the back of the dinner, right near my homework station before looking up the menus. "You got them?" She asked, and that was the first time she's questioned whether or not I could handle them. Instead, I just nodded in response. 

They were in my area, not hers, it's only fair. I cannot dodge the odd people of the town for much longer. So going on over to them, did I hold on out my mini notepad before asking them the simple question. Starting with the same intro over and over again, my cheery attitude had made the bold one chuckle. His smiling widening as he just continued to sheer a laugh. 

"Come on sugar tits. No need to be prissy with us. We'll take 'ound."Not needing to write anything down did I just go on back behind the counter, opening the little fridge we had on over here across from the large soda dispenser and grabbed a four. Popping the lids off of them before going on over, placing them to each. Letting them get settled in for most of them were still looking at the menu. 

"Obnoxious bunch should send them to the bar." I chuckled to Joe beside me, readying up a plate with a side of mayo. About to head on outdid the one who chuckled on towards me call me over, so delivering the one plate to the lone costumer in the opposite end before making my way on back.

"What can I get you boys?""I'll have a cheese burger."Plain and simple, and it was the same most of the way. Others held different types of burgers, but instead of sending me on the way. Did the one closest to me, make a grab for my ass. Quick to shut it down and shove the back end of the pen in his face before leaving. "I'll handle them. You go and get your homework done." Dropping off the ticket to the belt of orders, was I about to question it. But her finger snapped up, sighing did I go straight to my little station. Having to switch sides to the metal sink. Their banter was enough to send me off my train of thought constantly, and seeing as they were trying to wave down Joe. I just faced them, leaning against the bar. "What's up?" "'nother round sugar tits." The man with the deep cigaret accent called on out, finishing his third drink. I had the idea.

Popping off the cap did I set them down, where already two others laid for each of them. And they haven't finished their meals. "Have to cut you boys off from here. Bars open across the street soon." "Aw babe why you gotta do that to us." Shaking my head and walking on off did Joe nick her head to the other table in her area. Tonight was fairly busy, I just hope I'm not working the bar tonight. Needing a good night sleep is one thing. But getting out a midnight with a paper to finish and type on up is another. 

"Sugar tits! 'nother 'round." The man shouted, turning around did I shake my head to the man. Trying to take the order of an elderly couple, asking them to repeat and only getting halfway through it did that man decide to make his way across the dinner to talk to me. "Just one more each, won't 'cause no more trouble." My quick over to the owner showed no bounds. "No can do." 

Allowing me to get back to the two people at hand, until his hand pushed me to face him yet again. Making me stumble half a step backward, but that just angered me all the bit more. I didn't back up any more than that, instead. I took a deep breath in and stomped right back up to him. "No. Can. Do. Sir." I said, gritting my teeth, just an inch away from his face. His chuckle rumbled through his body, before sitting back down in his seat. Joe went on over to talk to them, even before the said man could make it back. The elderly couple were a bit shaken up, but I offered the specialty and they seemed distracted after that. 

With nobody left except the redneck group and a few loners, did I see the bar becoming packed as all hell. Sighing as I couldn't get my ideas onto paper, where giving up until I get home was the only option. As the four men rose from their seats, I saw one writing on the recipe. His eyes glanced up to meet me, a greeting wave me. Before his hands met his back pockets to walk on out. That was quite a different reaction I would have thought for pissing off the group of them, so rounding out. Refilling the lone man's coffee cup before going to get the tip and the receipt. Did I read a very sloppy 'sorry' and a decent tip from that given group of people. 

Heading off home, was the bar just pumping. Joe asked already knowing the answer for tonight, but when I went on home. I still had the money and recipe still within my jacket pocket. He didn't have to do that, especially when the guy was excused as drunk. And now that I thought about it, he seemed younger than them...Did I serve alcohol to a minor?

Fuck. I am so fired. Fuck.Crumpling up the receipt did I throw it at the window, having it tumble down underneath my desk to be forgotten about until I clean back up. But I was still nervous, too nervous to finish my essay correctly. 

Just bullshitting the rest was what I was known for, it wasn't that big of a deal. Only History, not like it was the field I was going into anyway. So off to bed I went again, trying to subside any and all things from before. 

*

The mindless walk from the barn to the house was just what the entire day felt like, letting my jacket fall with my bag at the front door beside my shoes. Did I plump onto the couch, waiting for mom to ask me how school was. And if on cue did she do it, but her coming into the room did I smile and hold a good thumbs up into the air for her not to worry. But she's just worried all the time. "Are you working tonight?" Nodding did I slump my head back down into the darkness before rising back on up, fixing my hair behind me to level with my mom. Mickey pitched together his hands to be held by me, and he giggled with content as I offered to take him for a moment. Mom ran the moment he was within my care to get a picture, at first I was confused. Wondering why in the world she would do this when I hold him at least once a day. 

"Michael wants pictures of everyone. Thought we could send him a little photo album this year." I smiled and nodding for the fact that I loved this idea. So I pulled my little brother closer to me, and with his arms around my neck did he smile in clear joy. Not knowing what was going around you must be wonderful. But I wouldn't wish that upon myself now, there is too much going on in my life at the moment to look at a career path than to pity myself now. I can drink what my heart contents later, this weekend even. 

It was however hard to think about working in the bar tonight when all I want to do is get shit faced. But I guess there is a little bit of self-control, still doesn't fill the ache at all. Finding time in between classes and in Psych, pieced it together quite nicely and handed it in handwritten. They can take away points for it, I don't care. I finished it, it's all over. Just the inner thought of my teacher spreading the news about Micheal's departure makes me a little unease, because now it is affecting more work and studies.

Mom still doesn't know about the job at the bar, and I am going to keep it that way until otherwise. So I began to get dressed, all while studying for an upcoming test. My long sleeved green shirt buttoned up halfway. Made my outfit complete, along with skinny jeans and tall boots. There was some event going on, and they needed extra hands to set up. So if the late shift and different outfit isn't a catch on, then I guess she'll never find out. 

Grabbing my jacket and running out of the house with a quick kiss goodbye on my mother's cheek was all I had to offer her. I'd be home at twelve or later tonight, and I honestly didn't wish for her to wait up for me. Planning my lie of 'running late, big mess' as a ready text to her. I think I'm all set to have this large distraction take up one day of the week. Parking on in the back did Frank nod towards me. The bodyguard who grew to understand my role here. 

I only make drinks, don't make it public that I'm a drinker. 

But seeing most of the workers fixing the barstools down, or just cleaning, stocking. A mix of everything, so I went on over towards the pool table. Cleaning it down like the four other ones around here, we each have a job to do. My list is just the little activities that we offer here. Even by then, did we finish just in the nick of time. For people became busting on in just as the clock ticked at five, people just getting off at work, meeting their buds. Or knowing we are open at this time. Already was I waitressing, serving and making drinks. Never did I realize a Wednesday night be so crowded.   
"Well if it isn't Miss Sugar tits...Thought you worked across the street." The voice seemed so familiar, and when I looked on up from slicing a lime. Did I see the man once again, the one who tried to cause a scene at Joe's. "What can I get you?" "Regular stein. Celebrating tonight. Can I get you something?" I chuckled, stopping one order to get a tall mug and fill it on up for the man leaning over the counter. Making sure to tilt it did the man nod at the technique I was using. There were open servers everywhere, he didn't need to come and greet near me. I wasn't giving free booze on out, and I ignored his question. The age gap was obvious. "Haven't seen ya around before." Sliding his stein onto the wooden top above, did he take a seat on down. Guess he was alone for the moment, might as well enjoy the said company. "Yeah. Moved here couple months ago." He scoffed into his drink, making me wonder what I said to have him react that way.   
"There ain't nothing here princess."   
"Family is." He titled his head in agreement again, assuming that is the only reason he is here as well. But I don't find this place that particularly bad, especially when I've been in worse towns than this. "You military or somethin'?" At first, I was confused, but once Michael's dog tags came into view, I understood his curiosity. Shaking my head did I pass on off the glass to the waiter that crowded around my new friend here. Who was still here, talking to me. Watching me make orders and function behind the counter. "No friends tonight?" He shook his head, so as he finished off his drink. I took it instantly. "This ones on the house." The man seemed shocked, he's the first one to make a decent conversation with me, and I can't use the 'free drink policy' here. So might as well pass it off to this fellow here. "Didn't have to princess." Shrugging did I leave for a kind minute to grab a few bottled drinks and pass it over to Jessi as she followed through on said order. "Got a name, or should I keep calling ya-" This could go many ways, and I think it's funny. Since he bumped up his voice from being a dick, to kinder. "Too young for you." He slumped his fist under his chin, another sigh earned by the man. 

"Got some attitude in you girl, caused a shitstorm for your boss?" Explaining that everything was alright, but not mentioning the nice tip by the last man who stayed in the restaurant. Didn't want to rat him out. "Merle." Smiling up, did I throw my hand on over the counter. "Blake." He took it into a grip before letting me get back to my work. But he still had half a stein left, and the night was still young. "That bike outside yesterday-" "Careful what you say next. Might offend me." Merle's laughter rang forward, he caught the owner red handed. Making me chuckle when his drunken mind made him throw up his hands. "Brother had a lot to say about it." Again, I was probably too young for anyone at the guys from yesterday. So I let that comment slide. "Alright sugar tits, I'm gonna head on out. Thanks for the beer and a good celebration." To be honest, I was confused on what he was celebrating on. Before he managed to get onto his feet did I pop the question. "What were we celebrating?" "My release from jail!" His drunk voice drove in and out throughout the whole conversation, but up to this point. Did it just shine on through, his wide smile was contagious over on towards me, until he went on off did Jessi swing by yet again. "Who the hell was that?" Looking over to her, was I going to ask her the same question. Assuming of her being here longer than I have, would've guessed that he came here sooner. "Was going to ask you the same question. Merle? Ring a bell?" She shook her head and resumed her position on this end of the counter, it was a decent night more or less. The tips were fantastic, saving up for...I don't really know what at the moment, but it might be better to have the money than need it.

My shift ended, and I packed my jacket just incase. And it was a good thing, for it was colder than I imagined it would be. Luckily the stereotypes for this bar is jeans and a tshirt, or in my case. A long sleeved one.

Even with the double layer do I still feel the breeze as I race on home. I know it was late, but I did not want to suffer walking my bike all the way to the barn, so I sped on down the gravel road and made sure to do it quickly and as quietly as I could. 

Locking up my bike and everything, did I race into the house, breathing into my cold hands. God I need to find some gloves. But to my biggest surprise, no one was awake waiting for me. Not one single soul. That's when I remembered Michael is overseas, mom is probably dead sleeping, as is Mickey. And either Jarod is still up and not bothering to greet me, or vise versa. 

Taking my shoes off outside, gave me leeway to make it through the house without much of a creek due to my tip toe up the stairs and hoping movements. Opening my bedroom door did I switch on the lights and began getting dressed for bed, again. Was the heat way too high in my favor. Making me go for a tank top and shorts, before heading off to bed. I couldn't wait for Saturday.


	10. -TurnedIntoAFriend-

It was again that school passed with a blur, the only part of the I looked forward to was Law, English, and Psychology. And those three things are what drive me insane at the moment, the world load is to be expected. But the rush of anxiety is not. Two research papers due by the end of the week and there isn't even a single break in between because the teacher wishes for us to learn about 'responsibility' and 'time management' in doing that she has the class continue random lesson plans while still pushing the damn essay on us. 

Slumping my bag at the lounge chair at the front, zipping down my shoes before placing them side by side at the door. Easy grab if I need to just put them on, along with the given fact that I was home alone.

Off to the kitchen I went, making myself a little snack while also writing down the main topics I wanted to focus on in my essay, but even then something had to get in the way. Completely forgetting I have work, did I send a quick text to my mom about it. And rush to get dressed and look presentable to the customers, all while readying my school bag to do homework in.

With late lunch and early dinner rolling on in just as I enter the door. Do I just place my bag down back to the regular spot and take up where Joe was struggling with, bringing glasses of water. Food orders, more napkins.

The works.

It was around dinner time, and the restaurant was full that I went off and took a break outside. The orders were backed up in the kitchen and there was nothing we could do, and as stressed as both of us were. We took breaks right here and now when we could.

I, however, had my cigarets in my bike pockets. And I was quick to go straight on over to it, grabbing my lighter and resting up against the back side of the restaurant. Sticking the bud into the side of my mouth as I cover the end from the loom breeze coming and going. But even then did it not work, not in the slightest. My lighter must have died and I don't wish for Joe to get in trouble knowing I'm underage smoking. In all honesty, I must have just analyzed the thing for more than a few minutes to notice another car come on around. Parking right next to my bike. 

An old ford pick up, with already chipping paint parked right beside my bike, but I didn't even budge. The man who must have been driving went on up my ride, analyzing it like I had done the cigaret.

If my mother ever knew I smoked, it would be the end of all things. Letting out a loud sigh, trying a few more times with the damn lighter. Did it still not spark enough juice to give me the satisfaction I needed, craving the heated air it would give me is all I could dream for.

That and my essay to be completed.

Hearing footsteps, I assumed it was Joe coming on out to take her break. Making me quickly take out the failed cigarette and look to whoever was coming over. "Needa light?" The voice asked, sighing out a thankful smile. Did the man hold out the lighter, and I was keen on just lowering my head for him to do it for me. And he did just that, however, he was smoking already as well. "Look a lil young to be smokin'." As he entered in the light over my head, did I realize he was the one to give me the pity tip the other day...

But I scoffed, blowing out the much-needed relief of hot air before responding. Flicking away the dead ashes. "Could say the same about you." That's when the man's deep chuckle rained on in, he didn't look much older than I was. Having said that, I probably did serve a minor. But I'm a minor working at a bar and that has to qualify for something. 

"Sorry 'bout my brother the other day, he can be a real pain in the ass." In the middle of an exhale, did I make an agreeing sound to continue the conversation. "Saw him yesterday. Didn't wanna celebrate with him?" His quick glance on over seemed to be a surprise, to both me and him. Didn't think I rendered myself nosey in any way, Merle could have not responded. "Lousy prick got 'imself back into the slammer 'gain. Barely got him out this time. Didn't feel like goin' out for a drink...Since ya gave me four the other day." The cigarette just coming closer to my brow did I scratch my head, I knew he wasn't twenty-one. "I figured out after."   
"Ain't none of my business." Tilting my head in agreement, I might know Merle went to jail. But I don't need or want to know why, he was nice when he was drunk and had no one to talk to. But this guy, his brother. Makes him seem like he's an asshole when he's sober or around friends drunk. "Gotta name?"   
"Blake." His eyebrows scrunched together as he tried to deem if I was lying or not. In truth I wasn't, I just don't like telling a complete stranger my name when my brother doesn't even get to. "Ya new here?" "Yeah...Three months." "Go to high school?" Nodding, did I find all these questions a bit odd. But I felt permitted to stay for he was the one to allow this smoke to actually happen, in all. Did I finish it in due time, glad that the odd little conversation was over. And that tonight is almost done, if not more so complete. 

"Order out?" He nodded, so I went on insider and grabbed the large paper bag with the name 'Merle' listed on it, guess they don't feel comfortable eating here anymore. And since he didn't feel the need to come in, did the man stay at the door outside. No reason to make him feel any more uncomfortable, especially with a full house of kids and families. "Thanks. See ya around Blake." He said my name in a different tone, more upbeat. Like he didn't believe that that was my name, and to be honest. He was completely right, however. It didn't matter, I probably won't see too much of him. Goes to a different school, or perhaps. As he took one last look at my bike, did I chuckle out loud again. 

"No touching." I glared but ended it with a smile. His bright white teeth shined on through as he laughed off the warning as well, both him and his brother. Or that whole gang of friends has the same little slip up each and every time. Heading back to the restaurant, did it begin to slow on down. And while everyone more or less ate at the same time, I managed to write the intro and most of the two body paragraphs. No one ever turns in a complete first draft, and if they truly get on my ass for doing this. Then can talk to my math teacher and she can explain to them that I'm trying to balance everything out. It's not even the root of the problem anymore, it's the fact that the only bothersome part is Michael isn't here. Causing my mom to dip down into silence and my brother too.

A whole house of sadness isn't good for the soul, for anyone.


	11. -Bonfire-

It's Friday. No work. And nothing to worry about until Sunday. Where I plan to be hungover as shit. I did, however, run a bit late to get to school due to the fact that Mickey was a little rushed. Mom wasn't home, she tried to give us a heads up. Or rather gave Jarod the heads up, while I would have woken up much earlier if I knew that was the case.

Getting him fed, washed up and ready to go to daycare was enough to send me into a fresh mood to start the day. But as I was helping Jarod put our brother into the truck, his smile still hung wide. "Guys are coming over again." My head shot over to him to see if he was lying, until my scoff sounded into the air. "Do you have my schedule?" He shook his head, pouting a bit like he was thinking it over in his head. With one final buckle to get the kid into the seat securely, did I tickle his neck making his giggle in glee. 

"Doesn't your coach have practice?" I asked, evidently this is turning for the worse because I just wished to relax tonight. Watch a movie perhaps, the one day I don't have homework or work to accomplish. "Just a few drills. We got homecoming next week if you don't remember."   
"Because the signs in school aren't bright and colorful enough to notice." Saluting off to my brother do I make my way towards my bike, the stutter of the door sounded throughout the tall loft of the barn. And my baby greeted me just before I could see my brother leave off.

Pushing it on out into the open air, and shutting the door behind me. Do I treat myself with just taking a moment on the bike. Letting it sound beneath my body, just as I kick the seat on up. Walking it just a few feet before zooming on off forward. My hair was not correctly tucked on into it, instead, it just flew into the breeze as I drifted closer and closer to my destination. Glad to know that my stares are getting fewer and fewer by the day, especially since I don't wish to have any more attention. And however my brother had done it, he beat me here again. Guess my backroads proves to be faulty, pulling off my helmet while still on the bike did my right foot push me on up into the air for me to get my bag. "Hey Blake. You excited for tomorrow?" It was Rachel, and I smiled right on there from her enthusiasm. The two girls before me, continued to discuss it. 

Until my eyes drifted off to the man behind them. He was leaning against the stone wall where all our group usually stays during the morning, in no doubt did I think it was the guy from last night. "Oh...I don't think you met him yet." I chuckled, strapping my bike's belt just a little bit more before grabbing my helmet off the seat. "Met him a couple times at work..." They didn't turn around, something I have a small issue with. Looking for the person we're talking about, but instead, did we just walk on up the stairs and into the school. Barely making it halfway up before the bell. "He's nice...Better than his brother." Not saying a word to follow up with their banter, was I in shock. His brother was fairly nice, or rather the second time that is. 

Rough start? Or bad history. I just moved here, while these guys have probably been friends for quite some time. Walking into Psychology was there just this large smile plastered on Shawn's face the moment I walked on in, he's been asking all week how I've been feeling about this party. But in all honesty, I have no idea where the hell it was located, and that just sparked in my mind. 

"T-minus one day." Chuckling as I pulled my chair out from underneath the desk to sit on in, did I figure I can just ride with him. Or anyone of the other people that are going.   
"Too late to bum a ride?"   
"Shit yea. Of course. Didn't even think bout' it." Thanking him for it, did I rip out a piece of paper to write down my address. He took a look at it before taking out his pocket, but then yanked it back on out. "You live-" "Yea, I live on a farm." He held it on up, trying to figure out the words to explain what he was trying to tell me. But all too soon did the teacher stroll on in, telling us the simple instructions of 'paper, pen or pencil. Nothin else' making Shawn sign in his lap. 

"What the hell you doin' in our crowd?" Now he asks, out of the moments he could have waited before the party to do it. And since the teacher was not yet prepared, I ripped out another paper and wrote down the one sentence that literally explains my existence here. 'Mom remarried.' Making him understand the rest of it all without questioning it. Perhaps when I'm drunk as shit will I be blabbing on about the case file against my sperm donor. But until then, do I find myself in a trans of classroom mumbling, only be barred out ever so often with the distribution of bells.

Grabbing my helmet from my locker, along with the single textbook and folder I needed was enough to send me on my way, shutting the door just as the second bell rang to the next class did I start the little walk on forward to my bike. "Ya ditchin' too?" A voice rang behind me, turning my gaze to my left to see Merle's brother just striding along to catch up with me. The smallest of any chuckle rang through as I shook my head. 

"Have to pick up my brother." He nodded, walking out the front of the building with me. Did he hurry along to get the door on open for me, didn't think he'd have manners considering who his brother be. "Thanks," I stated, sliding on past him continued down the long flight of stairs. "Anytime." He countered, catching up to me without any sort of problem what so ever. "The guys still hang out by the tree?" I nodded, juggling the keys within my grasp as I ended up chuckling. "Sounds like you just moved back." His head tilted slightly, before nodding along. A gentle shrug before we both stopped at the end platform.

"Sure ya don't wanna join?" I rolled my eyes, fixing my bag's strap over my shoulder before shaking my head. "I have to drive home. " His hands were stuffed into his front pockets as he backed on away towards the group. Waving with one hand before returning it back. 

I don't think he knows I'm going tomorrow, the one hosting doesn't know I'm invited. Or the complete opposite, all I know is. Shawn's giving me a ride, and my mother thinks I'm going with Jarod to his little bonfire party. This might be more trouble than I can handle. 

But even before I can finally pull on out of the parking lot, did I think of Merle's brother, and where the hell he has been for the few months I've been here.*Getting home was a relief. But it was the fact that I had to get into the car and pick up my brother, so I left everything within my grasp. Just hoping right into the spare car on my way to the daycare, and to be honest. It felt nice to drive a car, especially one this clean, and this maintained.But it wasn't my style, not in the slightest. Parking, on the other hand, wasn't so much a challenge, just a task I had a hard time achieving. Walking on inside was I ready to share my ID at the front desk, and apparently, my mother called in and put my name on the pickup list for Mickey. Not within this week, but a month before I had come to the state. Getting his coat on him, did I pick him up and walk him to the car. And the entire time was he mumbling 'I,' even after I had him strapped in. So getting into the front, fixing the rearview mirror to watch for him did I smile. "Mama's going to be home later buddy, it gonna be me, you and Jarod's friends for a few hours though." He mumbled his brother's nickname he gave him, fumbling a pinky in his mouth.Before I knew it, I was getting him out his seat. Heading on into the house, letting my shoes being taken off the by the other foot. Flinging them to the corner as I continued through the house, setting him in his seat. Readying him a snack, fruit that mom had already cut up for me to give him. "Hey sis! You home?!" Barely five minutes into the house, was I just sitting with little Mickey at the island table writing a paper while he ate his food in peace. Hearing the number of shoes being taken off, I knew that he had friends over. 

"Kitchen," I yelled, making my baby brother smile with content. His hands slapping down onto the tray, and when I turned around. There he was, and I greeted him with a smile. "When did you get home?" Looking at the clock for a specific time, did I answer like I had thought before. He had his car filled with his friends anyway, so this was just an easier travel for Mickey. Don't need to overwhelm him with that many people. "You sticking around?" Nodding, did I focus back on my studies. As he moved behind his little brother, covering his eyes and earning a giggle. "You still going to the bonfire tomorrow?" It was my sarcastic and dramatic sigh that had him roll his eyes now. 

"Are you going to ask me until I go?" He nodded. And I just followed with the same response, what did he want me to say? No? I changed my mind I'm not going? My chuckling had him lean across the island to face me now, his face plastered in all seriousness. Making my eye brows close together in question. "Call me if anything happens alright?" "I'll be fine. Shawn is picking me up." His eyes widened, and in a good way as well. He finally smiled a genuine one at that as well. Making me ask the burning question of "What?"

He leaned on backward, nodding in conclusion. But I think he wanted me to give the address in case I'm too drunk to function. Which was the overall point, but in this case. Not to get ahead of myself, 'I don't drink,' the lie I created was all the more reason to just go and study upstairs. Still early in the afternoon, and Mickey barely staying awake. Did I set him down for a nap, as I went off to my room, going on the computer just to watch a DVD. Not much more I could do, my bike was doing alright. No homework and no work.Only other thing I could think of doing, is planning a warm outfit for tomorrow.*

I overslept. Which was normal, seeing as how there wasn't an alarm to wake me up. The contents of dinner last night, pizza and soda. A healthy meal the army of football players all sleeping downstairs needed to pump them up for their game. As offended as they all were of not being invited, I think there is the small percentage of them glad they weren't. For they have the school version of the bonfire, at whatever house it is located at. 

Just more worried about the party next week, going with Ryan won't be as bad. But the people I usually hang out with don't give a flying shit about anything, let alone the smallest or biggest of problems when they should. These jocks and cheerleaders are all judgmental. The only given I know of at the moment is my brother and his girlfriend, and they don't have much control over their friends.Taking the much-needed shower to wake me on up, allowed me to finally finalize what was left of my outfit. Nothing different from my regular school outfit, but since I wasn't riding my bike. I thought I'd pack light, phone and a lighter. Nothing more, nothing less. Although...Was taught at a young age to always pack something extra, and I would have had a serious fit if the airport had taken it from me. The switchblade with my name carved on into it. A good friend gave this one to me. It read 'A.B' carved it herself. Sort of like our little thing within the group.

Keeping that zipped up in my jacket did I think to have everything ready, and the quick text from Shawn reminding me about the party, as a joke. Was probably him asking if anyone was home, and in the sheer notion. Nobody extra was over, my brother was gearing up for the game. My mom was somewhere within the house with Mickey. It was clear-cut to be a great time, especially since mother actually approved of me going. 

If anything. I cannot end up as badly as people within foster care or as she did when I was taken from her. Another alert of my phone signaled that he was here, having me yell through the house that I was leaving before anyone could question anything more.But of course, Jarod was quick to follow me out the door. "What the hell do you think you're doing?!" I asked him as he, without a doubt, caught up with me. Even with the decent good feet of yard that I already walked was he there. "Making sure nothing happens to you. Hey Shawn!" My ride came on out of the car to greet my brother, an awkward handshake and a good smile to one another proved that there was something between them.I just needed to find out what."You watch out for my sister? You hear?" Shawn was quick to pull his hands up into the air and nodded, without any sort of words being able to come out of his mouth. And instead continued back on into the car, having me take the passenger seat of this doorless jeep. Even in November does it not any doors on it. Soon we were on the road, and I was quick to apologize for the sudden outburst my brother had for protecting me. Honestly, I don't even know why or where he got it from. "Hey go easy on him, he's trying...Doesn't know this little sister thing comes with a lot of hate sometimes." My eyes looked to him, but soon I understood. He has a sister as well. "You and Jared were friends...Weren't you?" His hand took a good rub over his face as he tried to pay attention to the road, only to fail to respond to the question. "Yeah, I guess. Back in freshman year." Nodding did I not question it any more than I already did, if my brother didn't make it so damn obvious for this poor guy then I would never have known. It was silent otherwise, the music was a good choice for drowning it out. Until one song came on, and the laughter from my friend's mouth sparked up as I did so.Singing along to it as we came closer to the trail, going down one road and then down another street. To get to this all grass area seems like we're just bringing the truck right on along. 

"You're going to love it, Dixon's camp near here in the summer I think. Finally got them to share it when we got them this little party set up." The bumping ride had me hold onto the bar above my head, and considering there was no doors or anything to truly balance me. 

Making me have my seat belt on the entire ride.Once the car stopped, did I make my small jump down to the grass. Only for Shawn to run on out before me, I knew my brother was up to something. "Be careful. Please? The brothers can be-" 

"Obnoxious? Yea. I know." I laughed at his small warning before going on over through the tall grass over near the campsite, to be honest. It was just that, bigger fire than I expected. And enough beer to last us a full year if need be, guess there's gonna be a lot of people coming. 

"Yo Shawn, shit's in the truck. Help me unload!" The Dixon brother said, with a case in his hands before acknowledging his friend with a handshake. Until his look came on over to me, the pull up of his smirk rose until he chuckled. "Come on lil brother, ain't got all day...Oh well lookie here, sugar tits is makin' a come back." I shook my head, crossing my arms over my chest to cover my breast before clearly stating my name. "Yeah yeah, just messin' with ya kid. Didn't think ya'd come on down to this shit show...Wanna get ya hands dirty girl?" I rolled my eyes before leaving my friends side to follow him to the truck, he was smirking up a storm with the number of times he was chuckling through. "What?" Another one for the count, and once he made it to the rusty old pick up truck just at the edge of the area. Good enough to be considered ours, still near Shawn's truck as well. "Smoke too?"   
"Whatcha got?"   
"Everythin', said ya were younger right? Hook ya up with 'em smokes, unless lil goodie is lookin' to quit." I shrugged, taking hold of the case he passed on off to me. But only handed me one, thinking I couldn't handle it. So I grabbed on another and began the trip back with ease.   
"Where the hell ya comin' from to pull weight like that?"   
"Asking too many questions Dixon. Been here a good whole five minutes." Again did his chuckle ring through as more and more people began to come through with their cars, honking their horn to appease Merle's ego of throwing this party.

Dropping it off was I about to go on back, but he waved me off. I don't mind helping, but soon enough was I tracked by Karen, and Rachel followed right behind her. "I can't believe you came!" My eyebrows scrunched together for a second, but they couldn't see it for I was over their shoulder. What did they mean? Of course, I'd come, there's booze and enough weed on the table for a whole pack of people.


	12. -CindleToTheFire-

The night soon fell dark, the bonfire has risen to its full glory. Smoking through to the moon, while I was caring for my third beer. The weed hit me in the beginning, and I honestly didn't see the need to stop. Especially when I've met so many people at this damn thing.

"The hell ya doin' in my truck." The voice sounded, making me jump up to look on over to him. Spilling a bit of my beer in the process, making me chuckle as I tried to clear it from my chest. As in doing that, did I speak for the first time since I came on over here, of course. Given the fact of the shit that's breathing through my body, I did it a bit slower than normal.   
"Sorry. Crowded everywhere else." Was all I could process, apologizing until I just fixed my position to look on back to the sight above. "Star gazin' are we?" The 'no shit' attitude came forth in my mind, but I didn't want to be rude. So a giggle came out instead, situating how drunk and high I truly was. "Just a lil weed and ya turn into a lightweight?"   
"Had a few beers too. But yeah. I don't normally smoke." Raising my beer into the air, before taking a sip on after did the man come on into the truck. Still didn't get his damn name. "Like a girl who's honest...Rachel on the other hand." The joke made me laugh entirely, but a playful punch elaborated on how close he truly was. Especially when it didn't even reach my entire length. 

He joined me in the truck, laying down beside me with the given good foot of space between the both of us as we just relaxed. Or more so I did than anything else, he was probably looking for what I was seeing. "Best join ya, so ya don't yack all over my truck"

Humming at his response did I just continue to sip through the sixth beer of the night, the scream and chanting of whatever is going on over down at the bonfire were too loud and obnoxious. "Not a fan of coke? Saw ya leave once Merle brought it out." Looking over to him, did I think I'd get off easy leaving once the one drug beside Heroin was instated. Didn't like it, didn't condone it. But by the looks of it, he had the same idea. "Hmm...You're brother's an asshole." His rusty laugh shined through before turning into a cough, making him sit on up by the box of the car. And I too did the same, letting my bottle sit in between my thighs as we watched everyone for what they were doing. 

"Never got a name," I stated, right as he was in a mid lite. But once he breathed on out, the smell of smoke had me get the urge of wanting one as well. "Daryl." He mumbled, passing the box on over. Taking one right from the lid did I end up just lighting it on the side due to the oncoming of the wind. "Never seen ya until now, where you from?"   
"Out of town."   
"No shit. Where?" The cigarette in between his teeth was bouncing up and down, enough for me to see the red glow at the end of it. Making me shake my head, didn't need to really answer him. Do I? "Not drunk enough for that just yet." "Maybe ya ain't a lightweight." Shaking my head as I finish my drink, leaving it within the hold I had for it. He was nice company, not as loud and entertaining as everyone else. Well, not now at least. Simmered down quite a bit, guess coke has a bad place in both our hearts.

"Ya know, didn't think ya'd show up."   
"Why?"   
"Brother's a football player." Again, for the hundredth time tonight. Did I roll my eyes and just blow the smoke into his face as a joke, shaking my head repetitively. "Stepbrother." He made the understanding 'aahh' sound before shifting around within the truck. He didn't have to sit with me, didn't think much of it. Or rather, thinking too highly of more than a few things going on at the moment. "Quick to make that title, hate 'im or somethin'?" Shaking my head was far too quick of an action to wrap my mind around, especially when I almost burned my hand in the processes. 

"Only been here three months. Got that shitty party to go to next week cause I made a deal with him." He was playing with his chin, not itching it. Just rubbing it with his free hand, pondering the idea I suppose. "Yeah, they ordered a shit ton a stuffed. Gonna have to be there too." Flicking the ashes over the edge before bringing the cig back to my lips, before letting my finger take hold of the nick of my eye. "Least a football player isn't babysitting you." He snickered into his elbow, trying to hide it and failed before I just let my elbow nick him once again. 

"Not funny."   
"Yeah...Pretty sure it is." With my elbow now resting on the side of the truck's bed we're in, leaning on into it while still managing to gaze on up to the stars shining brightly above. Always looked prettier this time of night, especially here and now. "What's got you so interested?"  
"Haven't gotten this much shit in me in a damn good while." He made a comment about where I lived before, but I couldn't hear it all that well. It was probably true, whatever it might have been. Connecticut is impossible, no one fucking knows where it is.

"Got a ride home? It's almost 4." Yanking out my phone with a fresh cigaret in my mouth did I not believe him, until my damn thing read '3:47' and a bunch of texts from Jarod. Going unread as I just sighed back down in my seat. "Shawn was my ride." "Ooo bad choice sweetheart, blacks out most nights." Whispering a curse word had him chuckle, and it was far too late to just ask my stepbrother for a ride. And to be honest, K&R already left hours ago. What felt like a minute with Daryl, ended up being a good few hours of just back and forth conversation of stars, drugs and where I'm from. And I never countered the attack what so ever, so I just thought where I could bum another ride from. "I gotcha, don't worry."   
"Nono, I'll ask-"   
"Bullshit, everyone's got leftovers on their noses." We didn't have leave right this second, but he seemed pretty bored otherwise. I get up from my spot and Daryl comes and stands in front of me down below. I take the gentle step down and his hands wrap around my waist as he lowers me to the ground. His hands are warm and firm, causing my heart rate to pick up immensely, even as they rod up my side. Surpassing my jacket entirely. And my heart jumped even more so when we lock eyes for a good moment. 

But I ruined it with my chuckle as my hands gripped over his and allowed me layaway from his hold to the front of the car, where I was greeted with an array of cigarette boxes on the floor that my feet were crushing as I tried to get comfortable. "Your brother offered to get me cigarettes," "Yeah, ya pal probably gets it from 'im too. Ya can trust 'im with that, he won't flake or nothin'." Nodding as if he could see my response, did I just tell him to get to the school. Easy shot from there on, until I saw the bar. 

Perhaps my mind is more than wired, considering I'm watching all the streetlights with such interest. "Merle tell you I work at the bar?"   
"Nope. How'd ya bang that job?" "The same lady that owns the dinner cross the street, needed help one night." He shook his head at the steering reel once more, his hand just lazily slouched over it as he rubbed his chin over and over again. 

Giving him the address, did I suspect the same response as Shawn. But only when he came up the drive-way did he do so. "Christ." Was all he said, smart enough to shut off the head lights as he road on off the barn area. Turning around to make his leeway on out, before stopping to park. Dramatically turning the gear forward before resting both hands onto the wheel. "Didn't have to give me a ride home..."   
"Yeah? Then what? Wait till mornin'? Nah. Besides. Fun havin' ya there." Making my hand towards the door did I fumble with the lock, making him reach on over to help me. His laughter was directed to myself of course, but I did permit to say that I had a good six beers. "See you at school?"   
"Probably not."   
"Least you're honest about that. Night Dixon." Was the last thing I said before heading on off to the house, making sure to not slam my door in the least bit. 

Watching the car ride on along as slowly as it possibly could go, did I like how he was the littlest bit considerate that my brother was going to have a fit. And here was my plan, if I could actually accomplish it. Sitting on the porch railing, coming to a stand and then rising up onto the small roof's ash fall before the walk to my room's window, cracking it open before I could get a steady grip. I was lucky for a few things right now. One being my room away from the rest, my window being open and me wearing the right shoes for this occasion. And last but not least, me being able to see through all this. The moon might as well be beside me at a time like this, but however, I managed to get through the window without falling is my own damn mystery. What's even better, was that I ripped off my jacket and jeans. Curling up into a ball right under my covers before falling into a peaceful sleep.


	13. -MorningAfter-

Sunday. And hell was it a curse of waking up, the sun was already overhead. And I didn't find any strength in me to move the muscles, not that I could anyway. Letting out a groan into my pillow as I just let my entire body roll over to my stomach. 

Thoughts about last night rolled on into my brain, the weed, the beer, the vodka. Every and all sorts of drugs known to man, a bong passed around. Blunts. But I remember that littlest bit of fear I had when I saw the white powder come from someone's pocket. And I booked it. After that, everything is a blur. Other than the smallest portion of having Daryl drive me home. Guess Shawn couldn't...

Looking to my phone did I read the few texts that spammed throughout, few of which were calls. But mostly direct messages from my brother, Maddie, and Shawn. Assuming he didn't know I was home just yet was a relief, for I can say I came home at an earlier time than before. 

But as I tried to rise on over to my side to read the phone better, with the damn reflection of my window being a problem. Caused me to feel my brain swirl within my skull. But I still managed to read the worrying statements Maddie had, of how I needed to call Jarod. So I responded to her first, 'between you and me. I got home at 4.' Before sending it to her, and then responding to Shawn's apology for not being able to drive me home like we had planned. To be honest, it was expected.

Something that was expected was how Daryl was completely okay with driving me home mid-party, or perhaps he was done for as well. Any and all problems just became a lot clearer to understand, until I texted my brother. Stating fair and clearly that 'I'm in my room and have been since 2.' But the irony in all of this is that I assumed that he'd come running up the stairs to truly check. Only...It never happened. 

Instead, did I grab a few clothes and run into the bathroom so I could wash off the stench of anything illegal off my body, especially the weed. It's one thing for cigarettes, my mother doesn't need another reminder of anything like that from her past. Not when she's come this far.

The countless times I've put shampoo into my hair, dragging out the smell so that I can face my family downstairs. But even then did I still feel the high from last night and the hangover of this morning rolling on in. 

Done this before

Taking the towel, wrapping it around my body. Before taking it to my face and wipe any and all problems from my mind that should have been left in the shower. But weren't. Sighing, did I end up drying my hair to the smallest percentage of dryness. Before leaving the confinements of the bathroom, the blast of cool air was a reminder of what time it is, and once I had gotten downstairs to see Jarod, eating lunch. I chuckled with the silent head nod, and the aid of my hand to my temple. "That bad huh?" Another snicker came from my mouth as I went to pour myself a glass of orange juice, refilling his cup as well before putting it on back to the fridge. "Did you have fun at least?" I stayed silent, waiting for mom to pop around the corner. But she never did, having my brother just continuing eating, waiting for the response. "She's not home, Mickey's taking a nap." I nodded, downing one more sip of the juice before telling him what happened. "Didn't think it'd be that bad."   
"Bad as in-?"   
"Nono...I mean. I think you know what I mean." He fell back into the bar chair, crossing his arms and swinging his head forward for me to elaborate on the topic of this party.   
"Not a fan of all the drugs."   
"Christ, what did they have?"   
"Think one guy had shrooms, bong passed around...But I went on over to the car once they took out the coke." He nodded in understanding, but it wasn't the type I wanted or needed from him. Mother hasn't told him the entire story, but I bet Michael knows. When he returns. "Uh...We have this thing at Fort Benning, dad's not coming back home for a few more weeks but-"   
"This really the best image? Me completely dead?" He shrugged into his drink before taking another bite, claiming it was my own choice. Since work and my studies were not an option to take. I just nodded, I'll take some Advil before we head on out. A bonus more or less, that we get to take Mickey along with us.

"Leave in half an hour, shouldn't be too much traffic." Nodding, did I run back on upstairs to get dressed. Not as fancy as the first time I've ever gone on base, but it was good enough to begin with. My leggings and tall boots finally made an appearance from the depths of my suitcase.

Saying I never unpacked isn't a total lie, my summer clothes are still in there. Along with a few other things, but moving right along. I had the opportunity to get Mickey ready, seeing as how I already stepped up with the big sister game and am able to get him ready faster than Jarod. Once we got on into the car, did I offer to drive. Only the sheer laughter had me remember. 

I didn't feel any different, tired perhaps. I have clearly woken up by now. "We're you always like this?" "Like what? Ride bikes, drink and smoke?" He nodded, looking to me for the answer. But I couldn't say it out loud, so I nodded. Looking out the window because I didn't want to see his judgmental stare. "Can't say I blame you, all the shit you've been through." I snickered, hoping it would drown out the sound of my nose breathing on up the tears. "You don't know the half of it."   
"Maybe one day you can tell me."   
"I'll tell you when the asshole gets his final sentence." He nodded, taking hold of my hand that resting beside his on the glove box. But I pulled away.

I didn't like affection, not even when Daryl was the given foot away from me either. The questions my brother continued to ask consisted of nothing more than what drinks, who, where and basically the rest of the zillion questions on earth. Before reminding me of our deal.   
"Ryan is actually excited."   
"Why do your friends even like me?"   
"Do you really want to know what they talk about, because I was so fed up with Daniel that one-"   
"Then why force me to go with them. I already promised I wouldn't date." It was too late to continue this bickering argument, for Jarod was signing us in. But it was barely a second notice for him to just show his face rolling on in. 

"How well is-" "He runs this entire base, we don't live on post...So I get why it's confusing." My eyes widened as I remembered the area where we driving through, the beautiful houses. The P.X store thing, the memorials. The main hall. It was a wonderful sight to see such a community function. "Why don't we live on post?"   
"Mom didn't really want too. And I think Dad's trying to separate his life. We have a house on post." My eyes scrunched together, was he joking? That we have an entire house just sitting on this plot of land, and when he let out a laugh from my expression. Did he stray from the path I knew was taking, for he changed direction. Going down multiple sets of houses before rounding to this particular one. 

The driveway extended in a circle, making it easy for cars to come and go as they please. But just look at it from the window, was I in sheer shock at what it truly held. "But this-" "The farm was the families too, I grew up in both. Dad'll stay here sometimes when he's working late. Same with mom too. Convince otherwise." I nodded as he continued forward, saying we could check it out later. But in truth, I didn't care all that much about that. Instead, we just continue off to this community center. 

More or less babysat kids whose parents were serving and the other one was making care packages, all this and that to send to the troops deployed. It was a mix of calming relief and honestly something to do. Mickey was in the daycare as we were working, and I found myself talking with a few people my age. All of which lived on post and fired question after question. 

'What school do you go to?'  
'why don't you live on post?'   
'why haven't we heard of you before?'

And honestly, I couldn't take it. Making me excuse myself as they basically all gossiped in my face, I left the scene. Just walking out of the community building as I made my way to the front, just holding my stomach. Holding in my tears, I didn't like to be reminded that I don't belong anywhere. Especially here.   
"Hey? You alright?" I nodded, passing by the boy. But hearing his footsteps closing in behind me had me prepare for the much surpassed outbreak. "Ma'am?" I licked lips, turning around to see that he probably wasn't much older than myself. Eighteen isn't that old, and in comparison, he was just farther along in life than I am.   
"I'm alright. It...Those girls aren't very welcoming." He chuckled, joining me for the walk. I didn't mind, for whatever reason or another, so I offered him a smile as he tried to work through what to say. "There's no ring on your finger, parent in the army?"   
"Stepdad. We don't live on post." He nodded in complete understanding, but turning around could I see the crowd go forward in retaliation against me. My brother not being found, so I looked in a pleading fear of them for him to help. I was never liked this, but I couldn't speak out against anyone because Michael would get in trouble as well. "Come on. Let's go get something to eat, my treat." He winked, making me go and follow him. So off we walked, towards the town like area. 

Surveying it was my own mind faltering through over and over again, but it was nice to be someone who didn't fire so many questions towards me. And for once, called me 'ma'am' like I had some honorary role here. "So...What has you on post?" He said, meeting me at the coffee table of this cute little nook area. He had his army hat off now, and his dogs hanging loose. So I pulled mine on out. "My brother invited me, thought it'd be good for me to be involved with his work. Besides...Didn't really have anything else to do today." He nodded, taking the long tags within his hold. And nodded in favor of the last name. "Holden. Thought I recognized you. Jarod's been talking about you coming since before it all."   
"Yeah. He's taking that big brother card too seriously....So tell me about yourself Blake." And that right there, gave me the given few yours to feel like a normal person for once in my life.


	14. -What'sInThis?-

The week flew by without hast, it was currently Saturday and I was getting ready for the party. A simple long-sleeved grey shirt, half button down. Leggings and tall boots. I was going to offer for Ryan and I to take my bike, but he's got his ideas and I have my own. So he's picking me up a bit before Jarod leaves to get Maddie.

Nothing happened throughout the week. Shawn apologized that he couldn't drive me home, that was Monday I think. Or whenever I had Psychology the first time within the week. I also got a note on my bike, Daryl left the phone number to get booze and cigarets from. 

Also had gotten more than the decent number of acknowledgment from the people from the party, whenever I saw that Dixon kid. He'd always make a point to say a greeting, tapping my shoulder. Also made an appearance at work again, Merle too. Good to know I made friends with both of them.

Or as close as that might be.

Jeremy, the solider from my father's base of operations. Is the son of my mother friend Denise, I apparently met him before at the tarmac. But that is before he enlisted. Guess a lot can happen within the given few weeks.

Going off to the bathroom do I straighten my hair, making sure I at least try to look decent. If not for me, for Ryan. Guess I don't give him enough credit for going this far along with anything else. He's my friend for the most part, but I don't know how one-sided that truly is. Swiping the dipped black mix to my eyelashes, trying to desperately to get them longer and darker before giving up and going for the waterline.

The only makeup I ever take in learning, and before long. I get a knock at the door, yelling an entrance call did the door open as I looked through my mirror to see it was without turning. My brother no doubt, telling me his friend is here to pick me up.   
"Remember what I said, Blake. No drinking." I rolled my eyes, making him come closer to the conversation. Taking a knee down to get my attention further. "You're making me go to a party but not letting me drink?" So a mimicked his scoff from before, shaking my head as I grab my boots and pull them up. Then lastly, grabbing my jacket and running off downstairs. Seeing Ryan already waiting for me downstairs, talking to my mom. Who knew everything about the party, minus the illegal bit. "

Hey, you look nice." I chuckled as he opened the front door for me and I walked on down the steps before turning back. "Yeah, I tried. Toned it down a bit." His snicker rose up as he walked beside me to his car, looking over to the sun that was already dropping over the horizon. Told mom that I might be sleeping over Maddie's, but in turn. I rather just come back home to my bed and lounge around Sunday morning rather than waking up at her house.

Was never good with sleepovers, probably never will be since I bounced around so often. "Your brother said 'no drinks,'" I rolled my eyes, covering my mouth with my hand as I chuckled on into it. Refusing to look at his gaze as we rolled on out of my driveway and to the road.   
"  
Yeah, coming home hung over probably wasn't the best idea," I said, peering over for a second to see his smile. But the second it twitched up further, I knew he was planning something. "One drink can't hurt." That is when I thanked him, time and time again. That is what I truly needed, what sort of party would it be without a little booze?

Once his truck pulled on into the driveway, was it too a farm. On the other end of town and much larger than my own, but less modern in that sense of it all. The barn was full of people, lit up like a Christmas tree as the music could be heard for miles and miles. Parking off near the other cars were we greeted by more than enough people, and as he returned to my side. He so effortlessly took ahold of my hand, leading me into the house. This was going to be a night of smiles, fake laughs, and conversation that I couldn't care less about.

The house was already booming and crowded with people, drinking, and dancing. And to be honest, I didn't like the attention that was drawn to me because of my date. Should have realized that someone playing football would be a jock, even if Ryan is sweet and kind.

We made our rounds, and I only said something once Maddie came around the corner to surprise me. My solo cup reaching over her shoulder so she could give me a hug, and in that moment. Jarod was quick to take it from me. "Jarod!" 

"It's soda, relax bro." I shook my head, while I was being dragged on off to the table with snacks and a few more drinks. "He always like that?" She shook her head, letting out a kind laugh before taking a cookie from the table. "

Relax, some of my friends always end up sneaking me something. Don't worry. Soon he won't even be able to notice." I was in mid-sip of my soda as I almost spit out my gulp. He gets as drunk as Shawn? But then doesn't own up to it? "Can I interest you ladies in a drink?" Maddie looked on over to me, and I just pointed to our dates and he understood perfectly. Guess we are off limits.

Although I was here, on a date with Ryan. He was shyer than ever, in public with wondering eyes making false accusations with each look they gave us. I wasn't pushing the drink if anything. This was a great way of meeting people from school, haven't been out like this with a different group. If anything, this was just a social experiment. And I was doing alright, aside from the fact that I am sober, as my brother and Ryan are playing beer pong across my line of sight. 

"They always like that?" I said to the group of girls I was stationed with, kindly sipping away at my coke. 

"Worse, wait until morning." I chuckled with the rest of them as they began talking about cheerleading, or how the game went. It was times like this where I just blacked out, waiting for someone to direct me a question or for to pop on into my head.

But in all honesty, I couldn't really care any more than I do at the moment. And that is fairly low to the brim of the barrel. Until Daniel came on over, with more than enough red solo cups to just be for him. "Now ladies, it ain't no fun if we all can't have a lil...And for you." Tilting my cup to him as he handed it on off to me, I was promised a drink. And I savored this moment, but even before then. Did I make it a point to toast.   
"To our babysitters. For failing to keep an eye on us the entire time." They all joined in together with me, cheers and 'booyas' all around as we took a long sip of the very filled cup.

The flavor was cherry, a bit sour. But if the girls liked it, and it will get me at least a little bit buzzed. Then I'll be alright for the bit of evening. With the sort of flow going, he kept our glasses filled. Supplying us ever so often, and my cup never even set near the bottom. But soon after, I saw a familiar face just leaning against the wall talking to someone, and as they waved. I excused myself to go out and see Daryl, didn't think he'd show up this late. 

"Blake, ya've met Jonny right?" I offered a smile and drank another sip as we began to talk, saying how shitty this party was compared to the one last week. And as we scoped out the area, our eyes met back to each other and we all laughed in agreement. 

They were drunk even before they showed on up, and I for one was feeling the itch of tipsy right about now. Even a little dizzy I might add. "Looks like ya could use a smoke, ya comin Jonny?" The guy shook his head and pointed into a direction, looking back to us now. 

"Gotta talk to some buyers, best night to earn cash." Daryl offered the man a pat on the shoulder before leading us both out to the back porch, where I was greeted by the cool refreshing air of the night. The moon and stars were signally out once more, and the added bonus as I fumbled with my box of cigarettes. Is that he already offered a light, so I took it so generously. Breathing in the toxic air before blowing it out into the night, he too did the same action. 

"Havin' any fun?" I chuckled, rubbing my nose for a quick thought before looking off to him. Was he being serious? "Waited all night for this drink, shocker...It's shit." I offered it to him, and he took one whiff. Smelling the fruity mix and shook his head. 

"That's fuckin' awful, sell 'em all this shit and they're still stingy with it." He was in sheer disbelief of it all, but I shrugged my shoulders up and took another gulp. Leaning into the porch's fence, while Daryl had the same approach as I did. "Your party was better." 

"Didn't have beer pong, saw ya brother playin'." Looking back through the window, could I see through the sliding glass doors my brother most likely scoring another cup as he cheered in victory to the audience around him. "Took my chaperone away."   
"Limited to one drink?"   
"Daniel gave the captives a few rounds, got my share." He looked into the cup once again, huffing in disgust. It didn't taste bad, and I told him that as well, but he continued to shake his head. 

"Never needed flavor to get drunk."   
"Hmm...I'll cheers to that," I said, taking the last gulp. But in that, did I take the rest of the powder on the bottom, spitting it out back into the cup on the side. But something about it didn't seem right, my face turned stone cold from a smile to nothing.

My hand began to shake as I came to the realization of what was happening, the powder at the bottom. It wasn't a mix of the drink, that's the whole purpose of a mixed drink, to be fully mixed...it was pills. 

Crushed up pills. 

"D-D...Daryl." I mumbled out, holding it out before me. He took the moment to flick his cigaret out off the balcony before looking over. But once he did, his eyes widened.

The first thing I thought of was getting rid of it from my body, dropping the drink and my smoke down to the ground as I ran to the closest bathroom. The girls in there were crowding the mirror, but the second I went for the toilet. Sticking my finger down my throat as I puked up whatever contents I drank.

But it was more than I could handle, until the gentle push of my hair and pull back commenced. The 'shushes' came forward as I looked up to see Daryl right by my side, rubbing my back as I tried to get it all out. However, it was too late. It's been in my bloodstream for too long, and my head just hit straight down onto the toilet. 

"M...M...Maddie." I managed to croak out, and that is when the yelling commenced. 

"Blake! Blake! Stay with me girl. Goddamnit. You, yeah you. Get over here, I need ya to stay with her. Just keep her up." A small firm hand held me against the bathtub, and as I squinted my eyes just the smallest bit open. I knew I was infected by that damn drink, even more so did I see the beginning of Maddie's outfit. Pushing her way through as she went to my side, replacing the girls that were before me and gave them the position of the girls I was with the entire night.

"What the hell happened?" She yelled, but it was all wavy. Far and close, soft and loud. Especially when her mouth didn't add up to what she was saying. 

"Just outside havin' a smoke when she finished her drink. Someone spiked it." The voices became muffled, added with the growing sound of a ring in my ear as I shut them closed, but I still heard it. "I'ma bring her home, Y'all can tell her brother what the fuck happened." My friend must have agreed with the husky voice, for I was soon picked on up around the shoulder and dragged halfway through the house as we suddenly took a stop and a turn around. 

"W-what happened?" I grumbled into someone's side, it smelled so heavily of cigarets that I can only assume it to be Daryl, along with the smallest bit of stubble touching my skin as he looked on over to my side. "Ya with me Blake? Who gave ya that drink?" 

"Daniel. Kept refilling it, sneaky bastard." I was tired, and there wasn't any way that I was gonna make it home with this sudden urge to throw up every few seconds. But soon the hand over my shoulders move to my thighs, not allowing me to have my feet touch the ground as I was placed in a car. 

"Aight stay with me Blake, gotta get ya home." I voice blared through my ears, and as I opened my eyes to render myself useless insight as well. 

"Was Daniel drinkin'?" He sounded out, and I shook my head. Trying to stabilize me as he drove like a madman on the empty road, never stopping. Not once, until I felt the gently sway we took to take a left into my driveway. 

"My mom's gonna kill me."   
"Well ya in luck, ain't no cars here." 

At first, I was confused, but instead of relishing in the fact that I won't be screwed until tomorrow. Was I just in the wrong that mom isn't here, and I'd be home alone. So sliding my hand to find the handle, did I feel hands pull me to a stop. "Got a set of keys?" 

"Under the doormat." I mumbled, and he chuckled mumbled the words 'rich folks' before coming on over to my side of the truck to help me back to my feet. "Ya know. Never liked Dan," 

"Join the fucking club." I said, in the crook of his neck trying to walk on my two numb feet. The front steps were probably the worse of it all, but his hold was what kept me together through the entirety of it all. Before flinging the mat up and grabbing the keys. "How bad does it get?" 

"Hell if I know what he gave ya...Think ya got most of it out. Water helps." I felt like nodding but my head hanging low as he made his way through the living room and up the stairs, however, had he known that this was my bedroom. I will question later, for I was not in my right mind or body at the moment. 

He carefully laid me down on the bed, switching on the lights as I was already in the works of getting off my boots as he was quick to leave the room. To be honest, I wasn't thinking he'd stay, but when he returned moments later with a tall glass of water. And sitting at the edge of my bed, was I honestly confused. "Don't have any sales tonight?" 

"Gotta make sure ya aight." His honest comment made me giggle, as well as his husky laugh that followed after. He urged me to take the glass from his hands. And as I connected the glass to my lips, the water falling down my throat did I take into the realization of how much my throat burns. Trying so desperately into getting rid of it, I must have ripped it up. For the burning continued to grow with each second without water that I finished my glass before I knew it. 

"Think my brother's coming?" I asked, seeing as how he was at my window looking out an about. And with the sudden sound of gravel coming through, I knew he was. 

Pushing myself up from my pillow, holding my head with my hand as if it would help in any way shape or form. But the sudden change in the attitude of Daryl had me worried sick, especially when it was followed by a slammed door and the insane yelling that commented right after. "Relax Blake. I got this." He said, holding onto my shoulder before leaving my room. But I couldn't manage to sit still while he was going to face my brother's rath, so once more. Did I push myself off my bed and into the hallway, to see them both meet each other halfway. 

"What the hell are you doing in my house?!"   
"Dropping off Blake, thought you were supposed to be watchin' her!" Jarod was the first to question it and Daryl was already in his face, but before I could even start to say my piece. Maddie slide by my brother and my friend to come over towards me, another glass of water to my pleasure. As she basically pushed me into my room. 

"She wasn't allowed a drink!"   
"Yeah, and once she gets one, it's got a roofie in it. Gotta lot of nerve comin' in here when I was tryin' do somethin' nice."   
"How do I know you didn't do it?!" The yelling intensified but became muffled once she slammed the door and gently pushed me to the bed. I didn't know I was crying until she comforted me, telling me it was alright.

No, it wasn't alright if I hadn't known. Hadn't finished the drink until the end. I would have been the victim in Dan's game.   
"Does Jarod know who-"   
"He...Doesn't believe it was Dan." I cried on out, he was shifting the blame to my friend. He was the last person I was with...


	15. -Accusations-

I love the moments where you wake up, and the choice of either opening your eyes or rolling over to get more sleep is the only option on the mind as we start our day. And I knew mine, slumping down so I could sleep on my stomach.

Until the sudden urge to know what time it was fell through, rising to sit up did I look for my phone which usually ended up on my nightstand. But instead, was it in my jacket pocket, taking hold of it did I look through the messages. The amount that was there took me by surprise. What the hell happened last night? An unknown number had called me, leaving a voicemail. And with the intention of opening it was I surprised to hear my rugged friend on the other line: 

"Hey Blake. Sorry I left, Maddie said you'd be alright and I was gonna beat your brother's ass if he kept pointin' any more fingers at me. Hope ya feelin' better soon. Night."

Pulling the phone away from my ear, did I save it to my phone all while I was trying to save his number, the other texts were from Maddie. Asking where I went, but those were stationed from last night, along with multiple calls from my brother. But nothing more than that, last nights events barely rolled into place. Especially when I didn't even get the chance to move from that position before seeing my friend at the door with a glass of juice. "Hey...How are you feeling?" Her voice played over and over in my mind, I felt high. Buzzed. Whatever sort of term, but I don't remember doing either of those things at the party. "Dizzy...Sick." She nodded in understanding, making sure I held onto the orange juice. But a sudden remembrance of drinking so heavily out of a red solo cup flashed before my eyes, the thumps of the music that shook the house.

How could I be completely unaware of what happened hours ago? So I asked. Thinking it would help, but she sighed instead. "We were hoping you'd remember..." I shrugged in response to the question, covering my eyes with my arm. Even the knock didn't alert me until a second after. 

My reflexes were slow, more than slow. Like I'm just ten seconds behind the world as it keeps moving. "Can you check on Mikey? I need to talk to her." Maddie held my hand, rubbed her thumb against it before leaving the room. Where my brother soon replaced her in her spot, right in front of me. 

"Hell of a party?" I chuckled, it was an honest question. But that didn't mark any sort of humor on my brother's face, instead, he silently urged me to drink the orange juice. Looking to it without any form of words on his face until I was mid-sip. "Who gave you the drink?" Pulling the glass away from my lips and moving it to the nightstand had Jarod get up from his seat to help me set it down. "Daniel." 

"Not Daryl?" I shook my head, guess the voice mail makes sense.

Especially the smell of smoke on my clothes, more than enough resembled my friend. "What did I tell you about drinking?" "Says the one who wanted me to go to this party, don't blame my friend. He didn't do anything." I rose my voice in defense to the second Dixon brother. How else was I to react in this way or form, he honestly didn't do anything. "Mom's not coming home until tomorrow, she's staying at the base. You're not going to school-" 

"What do you mean 'I'm not going to school' I'm fine." 

"No you're not, you passed out. Someone roofed you Blake!" The words were finally said out loud, even with the added bonus of the volume changing. And even more so did the open the smallest crack to see Maddie, her hair tangled but down by her shoulders. Guess nobody slept in this house at all. "I'm gonna take a shower." I spit out, moving alongside my friend to the shower. This was going to a hundred percent worse than I could dawn over, especially with them blaming my friend when I honestly don't know what happens.

The shower couldn't have drawn out any longer, especially with the fact that their feet crowded the bathroom's small little hallway for a given few minutes. Almost switching shifts, rotating every couple of minutes before finally, I left the burning relief from the water.

My hair damp, trying to dry it as best as I could. Only to grip onto the sink's sturdy structure as I held myself up. It felt like my whole body was just asleep and did anything it wanted at it's own will.

Nausea then struck, perhaps it was that odd thing that people always say. The body reacts the way you believe it too, and right now I am in this mists of demanding this to be a hangover topped with being roofed.

I remember bits and pieces, dancing, the beer pong that my brother and so-called date were playing. How Daniel gave us all a drink, but another thing of it all is. I remember distinctly pointing out how he always kept our glasses full, not allowing me to reach the bottom. And the only reason I did was to go on over to Daryl.

The memories trailed off to the porch, how cool the night was. But that is all my mind can muster, especially when my head is currently right above the toilet bowl puking whatever sort of shit was in there.

With my hair being gently pulled back, behind my ear and into a grip did I turn around and wipe my mouth. "I'm gonna kill him." Maddie only shifted her weight, she knew more to the story. I bet Daryl knew something as well, all things considering. But seconds later, she still didn't say anything. 

How was I to make anything of this situation when no one told me anything, and pinning the blame on my friend isn't going to convert me to their side of it all. So the moment I rose from my position and got back into bed with seltzer water beside me, as they all claimed it would be good for my stomach and head. 

Was I sentenced to rest in bed, a movie on the laptop. And every half an hour on the clock would one of them check up on me, but I couldn't find it in myself to not fall asleep half the time.

Movie after movie, did I find myself in an everlasting time stop. I felt weak, sick even. My body trying to revolt against the party drug and who happened to give it to me, if he had gotten his way. Whatever his plan truly was, I don't think that will ever not stay out of my mind.

Whenever that idea came to mind, I allowed myself to go to the window and smoke just one cigarette. Savoring it until I ended up smoking a few at a time before crying beside the window, the things that could have happened to me--would have happened if Daryl wasn't there...And to make matters worse, my brother isn't on the right side to defend it at all.

I am going to school tomorrow. I'll make it through the day even if that means looking like complete and utter shit.

*

Just like the day before, my mother stayed at the army base. There was an overload of returning soldiers from some sort of incident where Michael is, so she decided to stay a bit longer. Or at least that is what Jarrod decided to tell me before he left for school, telling me to call or text either himself or Maddie if I want anything.

Instead, I called Joe and told her that I couldn't make it. I'd explain the situation to her when the time is right, but at a moment like this, I couldn't get off the phone quick enough. Even more so, was it a struggle to get dressed when the pit in my stomach only shifted each and every way as I walked on around. 

Tying my hair into a long braid to one side, a normal t-shirt and leather jacket, jeans and my tall boots. And an abundance of makeup to cover the puffiness of my eyes when I cried throughout the night, whichever time is well accounted for. 

I didn't get much sleep, either tossing and turning or even waking up in the sweat of what could have happened. That is what's haunting me at this moment, the high as well, still within my system when I didn't want it to be. 

I have five minutes to get to school, and it takes that long to get there. Sighing in my mirror as I grab my bag from my desk chair and walk on downstairs. Large water bottle already in hand for I knew I was going to need it, flushing out whatever is in my system is what I have planned to get me through the day.

It was more or less the first time I've left my room since the shower, and I couldn't deal with the sun shining directly in my face any more than the weight onto my boots. Each step spiked through my body like a live wire, and I was just ready to off. I was tired, I was dead.

But I somehow continued on off towards my bike, kicking up the stand and leading it on out before closing the door. Not bothering to lock it considering I will be out of school in a few hours anyway, and before I knew it. I was cruising to the end of my driveway and taking a solid right on off to school. 

Not bothering to make it on time for the soul reason I didn't want looks or stares, how fast can information spread through a school? Faster than the speed of light I'm afraid, and by the severity in Daryl's voicemail, I doubt there was leaving without any cause or scenes.

Pulling into the school's parking lot, were there a few stragglers left to fall on into the school's dictated bell, but my friends were not in their usual spot. Even asking someone around me was it the first bell sounded off just a two minutes ago. 

Somethings off...

Taking my helmet to my locket and hurrying into class was I fortunate that the teacher was just at the board writing today's lesson, but what wasn't fortunate was the fact that every single staring gaze was set towards me.

And there wasn't a murmur in the class.

Keeping my head leveled did I make my way to my seat at the back of the class, and just as odd as there was no one outside where my friends normally arm. Shawn wasn't here either, leaving me alone to deal with the whispers and stares when I already feel the dripping effect of tiredness coming. 

Each time I felt my eyelids drop, I'd take a sip of water. Ultimately it worked, however, it did not stop any of the minds to stop from screaming bloody murder when they saw me. I understood why, but what did they know in terms of what happened. What was the rumor, what did they hear?

The second the bell rang, did I grab my notebook and threw over my bag without even bothering to take a second for the teacher to end the class. I was done and needed to escape the caving in walls of that classroom. And since I had the given few seconds, I went on into the bathroom. Using my shoulder to push the wooden door open.

My body coming into frame with the mirror did I honestly look the same. Tired, and perhaps a bit lazy, but nothing to indicate that I was drugged. That I could have been taken advantage of.

As if anything in my life was going so well as is...

With that, did my phone buzz. Taking it from the bottom of my bag, did I see it was from my brother. An imminent reminder that I have to be careful of who I see in the hall. The given factor that the news didn't hit him just yet was remarkable, but him texting might indicate it some other way...

Not responding was my best bet, since he just asked if I was doing alright. And to be honest, it was only the second period, barely eight thirty. And to my standard sleeping schedule, me leaving at 12 is the perfect comparison to waking up.

Leaving the confinements of the bathroom do I hug my notebook close to me, making my way through the hallway at a decent speed. Until my eyes spike up for the given second to see the asshole who made me anxious about to today, the jock with the puffy blue and white jacket as he was conversing with another of the mindless minions. 

The fact that I stopped dead in my tracks, feeling my heart rate pump at the speed of light. Did I notice that he was talking to my brother out of all people, my lip trembled for he didn't believe his friend did it to me.

I know what I saw, Maddie even agreed with me yesterday morning...Why...Why would he-

My thought ran short as both their gazes turned towards me, letting my lips hide in my mouth to stop them from trembling did I turn the opposite direction. 

"Blake!" He yelled, but I continued to make my way, serpentine around the students that were still managing to get to class. And I am thankful for that, because it was easy for him to be cut off at a sharp corner, what was thought to be a fail-safe turned out to be none other than a clumsy bump into another singled person from that night. 

"Better watch where ya goin' sunshine got-....Blake? Hell ya doin' in school?" My breath hitched when his accent sounded nothing more of anger, and in response did I apologies before knowing who it was as well. But he too found it odd that I was here...Instead of saying anything, did I just turn my gaze to see how close my brother was, and he was barely down the hall... 

"I have to go..." He looked around the corner as well, probably seeing my brother make his way to where he suspects I went. And instead of waiting for my friend, I continued down the hall. "Blake, come on. I'll take ya home." Shaking my head was he quick to catch up to me, having a hand on my shoulder as he stopped me.

Was it my desperate eyes that cried for me to leave this hell hole? Maybe. Probably. But him stopping me allowed my brother to finally catch up, and nothing but a few students between me and him as we locked eyes. "D..." He turned to follow my gaze, a growl escaped his ever so firm throat as he took just a few strides over towards him. Leveling eyes was an easy task, for he might have even been taller than him. I couldn't tell from this angle.

"Ya leave her alone," he started, pointing his finger to Jarod's chest. "She wants nothin' to do with ya or him. Best leave her be." My brother took one glance on over my and scoffed to my friend as if it was some sort of joke. 

"Daryl lets just go, please-" Itching for him to take me home now, just to leave the school and this mess behind did not vote well. Especially when Daniel too found his way toward the fight. "Stay out of this Blake." Was all my brother could say, looking to my friend. Staring him down and not bothering to direct any eye contact to me, now that he has back up. 

"What was a piece of redneck trash doing at that party anyway, targeting my sist-" 

"Best be pointin' that finger' somewhere else bud, cause I didn't do nothin'." Daryl retaliated, hissing between his teeth as the accusation was what I suspected. Maddie and myself couldn't break through it at all. 

"Blake, come on...I'll take you home..." Daniel went on towards me, offer a hand that Daryl immediately blocked away from, eyes darting between the both of them as he tried to handle the situation."After what you did? You should be in jail, sitting with your brother in the same cell!" My brother started, and Daniel just laughed it off, opening his damn mouth in turns to lighten the situation. "How's good ol Merle doin'? Still in the slammer?...Cause you're heading down the same rode Dixon."   
"Cause no white jock none never gone to jail for druggin' up this poor girl." He was trying to keep it in, if a fight broke on out. I knew what would happen, the drug story would rise on up to the authorities and we'll all be screwed, with the party, with everything.

"You sold me the damn drink." "Yeah? How come none of 'em other girls ya shared it with got none of the goods?" Their noses were on the brink of touching, and here I was. Standing in the center of it all, trying to stop the tears in my eyes from leaving their preferred spot. I didn't want to be weak, but the buckling of my knees are getting harder to control. And at the rate this was going, I was afraid of more than just my brother getting hurt. 

I was afraid Daryl was defending me only to get beaten up...

"Blake, you really gonna stand behind a guy who did that to you?" My brother questioned, his voice was lower than before. Much more tamed as he asked me, but I didn't want to be here. I wanted to go home, I should have just gone on my bike and left without another word of the matter. "Do you know what he does?" I looked to my friend, his eyes already directed towards me as he was frozen in theory, whatever he's done is in his own right and privacy. "Could ask you the same question..." Jarod sighing was nothing more than the last straw on my end. But as the disgusting smirk on Daniel's face popped on up.

The growing sound of shoes walking had me utter a swear as the build-up was completely unfair. "Are we gonna do this the easy way, or the hard way Dixon?" The disappointment was the only thing that rallied up in my mind for my brother, defending the wrong person to the extent. He wasn't paying attention in the least bit, I was hurt...More than hurt, I felt betrayed by my own family.

"Daryl just-" He was quick to respond, having on hand to level by me as he slowly backs on up. "He's made his choice..." Was all my brother said, before throwing the first punch towards my friend. Who was quick to hold onto it and throw one straight for the face, knocking Jarrod a few steps back as he held onto it. Taking the risk of being too close to the fight, did I try and hold onto his shoulders. Pulling him farther and farther back. 

But the circle of jocks closed up around us entirely, as a few took hold of me and took a quick jolt towards Daryl. All alone in the circle.

The rallies and the cries of encouragement are what sparked the two guys in the center to continue to circle one another, quick jolts on Daryl side as it had my brother flinch at every given speck of an attack. I wanted to get into the middle of it, but I couldn't whoever was holding me back wasn't allowed me to leave. So at the very least did I put my notebook in my bag to seem like I was doing some sort of other action. Their mistake was just that...Letting me go, because the second I was done did I make my way into the center. Prying between the two guys as they both backed up the given bit. "Blake what are you-"   
"What the hell is wrong with you?! He helped me!" Now it was my turn to have Daryl behind me, and ever so often would I turn back to look and see if the asshole jocks were doing anything remotely the same otherwise. But it was just my brother and I at this point.

"Blake...Blake you were out of it, how could you-"   
"You were too busy playing beer pong to notice what he did. And you blame it on my friend? For what?!" I was quick to defend him again, and my finger pointed directly towards Daniel in the crowd behind my good fucking brother...

Stepbrother.

But the scoff that surpassed him. Having his arms extend out beside him as he motioned around. "You just got here sis, you don't know what goes on around here. Think you know you're friend behind you? Bet you don't." That's when my arms crossed over each other, surpassed against my stomach as he tried to scare me into some sort of scared little girl. But I saw the nerves crack under the surface, he was torn between family and these friends all crowds around me. 

"I don't care what he does, you're the one to drag me to the damn party." That's when he stormed forward, coming within the inch of me. But I wasn't afraid, if he dares lay a finger on me. That would be one hefty conversation with dear old step dad. "He's a crack head Blake, a filthy redneck trash..." 

"Guess I'm a crack head too." I chuckled, but the insanity of yelling commenced. Quicker than I imagined, and turning towards Daryl and given the quick clearance of Jocks moving back on over towards Jarrod's side. Could I see the true retaliation begin...

Everyone in attendance from the bonfire that goes to this school, all lined up to defend it. "Come on babe, let's get out of here." I was too busy looking to see Daryl and the gang give a quick greeting that I didn't notice Daniel come closer to me, not fearing at all what my friends might do to him. But instead, all in one clear motion, did my right knuckle connect with his cheekbone.

"Touch me again...I dare you." I said, hovering over his body as he had fallen halfway down to the ground. Walking through the crowd of people on my side, did they let me pass. But not without causing more issue between Daryl and Jarrod.

"I said leave her alone!" 

"Get the fuck outta the way!" This and that stumbled until I heard the all too familiar sound recommence. The itching connection with knuckles and skin had me rather to a halt. Making me return to the circle, as Daryl was this close in winning the fight. Having my brother lay on his ass all blood ridden to the face, did my friend let it go. "I'm takin' her home." He stated, before cutting through the circle to join me. His arm rounding over my shoulder as he led me on outside, walking far too fast for me to see the cut at his lip and the beginning bruise forming around his eye.

Rushing down the steps did I see the pickup, out of all the trucks was easy to spot. And it was clear what his plan was, especially when he had me stay stationed right at my bike as he went towards his truck. Just a few moments of waiting had him hurry to get the ride onto the back bed. Strapping it in before he yelled for me to get into the truck. 

And sure enough, I did.

"How's your hand doin'?" He questioned, keeping his eyes focusing on the road. But all the more reason to wonder how he knew that I was trying to straighten my knuckles on out. They were bruised more or less, didn't get the asshole at a good angle enough to leave me without pain. It was just the rush to my head of everything that happened in one solid time frame that rendered me completely shocked.   
"You didn't have to-"   
"To hell I did, they we're gangin' up on ya Blake. If I didn't know no better, I'd think you weren't supposed to come today...Why ya brother defendin' that asshole?" He hit his hand to the steering wheel to grip it further up, the smallest sound of the radio was drowned out by his yelling and I honestly didn't know why he would stick up for me when he doesn't know a thing about me. "I...I don't know..." Stumbling out a response to his question as best I could as he turned a tight corner. Making me grip on the door's handle, even after did I not let go. Preparing for the next turn slightly up ahead. 

"Bet he heard 'em rumors..." I questioned it instantly, and for the first time in the conversation had he looked on over to me. His head slightly tilted as if he was questioning it as well, his fault for saying anything in the first place. "That more happened at the bonfire than what we did." "Chainsmoking until three isn't all that bad right?" He let out a low chuckle as he came to the stoplight, and no amount of hesitation did he look on off to me. His back now leaning into the wheel before him, slouching over if anything. 

"That I did somethin' to ya at the party, and we're just usin' Daniel as a scapegoat for gettin' caught." I scoffed out loud before sighing into my arched hand, that is what everyone in psych was looking at me for. They didn't understand the situation in the least bit. "And Shawn? Where was he?" "Heard what happened, tried to fight Danny boy...Cops got 'em." That's when I asked if he was arrested, but he'd be detained for at least a few more hours before he can be put up for bail. The least I could do was get him out, and that is exactly what I'll do....If I was eighteen... "Are you alright?" That's when he let out a meaningful chuckle, looking on off to me as he itched his chin. Trying to get away from the looming question as much as he could, only to connect to my pleading eyes for a legitimate response.

"I'm aight. Ya brother can't hit for shit...Where ya learn to throw a punch like that?" It was my turn to leave him in silence, especially when he rounded towards my driveway. Coming through the long-awaited dirt road to finally stop off near the bar.

Guess he knows where I keep it too. "I'm getting you some ice, don't leave." He was already over towards the bed of the pickup, unstrapping the bike so he could pull it down to the ground. "Nah, I want an answer." Fixing my bag's strap over my shoulder, did I quickly walk on over towards the house. Grabbing the first ice pack I saw along with the given first aid kit in the hallway closet. At first, I was sure he'd leave.

But seeing his pick up still in the driveway did a smile escape my lips. A smile...After everything that has happened in the past 72 hours. Letting the cool air rush through my lungs once more as I continued on off towards my barn, I'd hide out in here when my brother comes home.

Whenever that will be...

By the time I made it in, he was already looking around the place. The metal signs I've put on up trying to make this place look decent in comparison to everything else. "Nice set up ya got here." His hands were in his pockets as he strolled on around, reading everything that words on it to avoid this ice pack from going to his face. But I'll be damned if he left without me looking at his cuts. "You're going to make this difficult...Aren't you?" That's when he turned back, biting his lip and nodding. Followed by a low growl of a hum, if that could even define what it was. So I just chuckle and pointed in the stool which he made his way to as slowly as he could. 

Moving the bangs out of his face to reveal the already purple forming bruise, adding the little ice pack to it as gently as I could. But his hand soon overlapped mine in an effort to keep it stable. "Ya know...When I heard there was gonna be a new girl. Didn't think it'd be ya." My grin widened as my hands were busy taking the first aid kit onto the seat of my bike to try and find the small cloths of alcohol to keep it from getting infected. 

"Didn't sign up for the full treatment doc..."   
"And you didn't have to do what you did." He nodded along, looking at the ice pack and quickly placed it back on before I could even think to scold him for it.

"We stick together...'em jocks made a play for Rachel, didn't end well neither." He was being fidgety for the first few seconds, until I had gotten the lip and the cut over the eye under control. Putting the little white tape bandaid over it so it could heal properly before looking at his first, the patches of open skin duplicated mine as well. 

"Never answered my question." Licking my lips did I hold his free hand while grabbing another tissue, this was pointless if he was going to get into another fight. "Had my share of fights...Not one to back down." 

"Never answered my other question either, 'bout where ya from." Peering up, was I now open to his crystal blue eyes staring down at me. They were conflicted, the smallest bit of horridness clouded with the guilt of something was mixed in with lust. "Connecticut." 

"They got fights like that in Connecticut?" He tried making a joke, but the foster families I've spent time with, or even the all-girls home wasn't anything I'd wish upon anyone. It was either throw the punch or get one to the face, and I wasn't having either of it...

"Yeah...Something like that." I mumbled, not bothering to wrap up his hand with anything. I knew his type, he'd wear it with pride if anything, 'got it fighting a jock' is the clear identification of it all to them. Just mine were starting to spark interest. Especially when he took his ice pack off, taking hold of my right hand and doing the same thing I've been doing for the past few minutes. Cleaning it, but the added bonus of the cloth firmly wrapped around. Reduces swelling or some shit like that. 

"Ya ain't no crack head." He said, clear-cut without any recognition of the conversation starting back on up again. With one last wrap around my given hand, did I try and squeeze to get used to the pressure against my now bandaged hand. Holding it with my other one did I let out a chuckle. "Could have been, neither of you guys would know." 

"Nah...Ain't that kind of person." He has this image now in his mind of me, and I don't know whether or not to abide by it. Him helping me with my hand wasn't necessary, but as he handed back the ice pack and rose to his feet. I guess it was time for him to go.

"Call me, if ya brother does anythin' stupid." I chuckled in my seat, holding the ice pack as he left the barn entirely. And that is when I remembered Shawn, prying through my bag to get my wallet did I go on after him. Halfway to his car does he stop to look behind at my stomping feet. "If you have time, bail Shawn out for me." 

"Don't wanna show your face to the cops?" I shook my head, urging him to take the money. And he was eying to as well, trusting him enough to do so rendered me to believe that I actually do consider this man a friend. A good friend. 

"I'm not eighteen." He began to shake his head into the air, just the smallest bit as he rolled his eyes. Daryl Dixon rolled his eyes at me. "Ya best believe I'm gonna find a way inside ya head Blake. Just ya wait." Giving him a two finger salute does he find his way back into his truck, and leaves with one more single wave to finish the fact.

It should have been the given notion of my first name then...It's Aurora, Daryl.

My name is Aurora.


	16. -We'reJustStrangers-

I knew what I was doing when I was packing my backpack, just my laptop and a few clothes. Not much else I'd need when I was staying at the base where mom was at. Already warning her that school was getting a bit too much for me and I need a break.

She wasn't keen on the idea of missing a day, or even two. But she wasn't about to deny it either, so off I was packing. Taking my sweet ass time, even responding to Shawn's text of appreciation in getting him out of the holding cell. I would have gone with Daryl, but it would be must more responsible if we stayed away from one another. Just until the smoke clears, if that even were to occur. 

I won't ever forgive Daniel, not even in the slightest. He abused my trust in him, the smallest bit of it that he was given. Along with Jarod, I was wrong with my previous thought, this wouldn't just blow over. The rumors and the lies are too wild to not pay attention to. Now wonder he was so angry, I've never seen him like that. Rude. Racist and above all obnoxious, whether it was his friends that fueled it all or his inner self finally being introduced to me. I wasn't having it, especially when I heard the slammed door sound off downstairs. 

"Blake?! Blake?!" I laughed, no longer folding my clothes so neatly in my backpack. But instead, did I just stuff it on in to secure my laptop from actually touching either side of the bag. 

"Blake?! Mind telling me what the hell was that this morning?!" Again did a chuckle escape my lips, smiling ever so brightly at this crazed man who was standing in my room about to accuse me for whatever the hell he thinks I did. "Could ask you the same thing." 

"Listen to yourself Blake, he's the one that did it, he's a-" I put my hand up, moving away from the far side of the bed to come closer to him. And before he says one more word about my friend, I was going to address one damn thing. 

"I know what he is, but at least he owns up to it! Daryl didn't do anything wrong, he helped me get home, he held my hair back when I was trying to get the drug out of me. And all you can do is point your damn finger at everyone other than the one who did it."   
"You're hanging out with all those people Blake, they're bad-"  
"Who are you to judge my fucking friends? They're defending me more than you ever will." I grabbed my backpack over my shoulder before passing him by down the hallway and right through the front door. Honestly surprised that he hadn't followed just yet, but even then did I speak far too soon.

"They're not your friends Blake. Those druggies don't care about you!" Continuing to walk on forward, did I not bother to turn back until he caught up fully in front of me. Finally understanding my motive in leaving, just not the destination of where I was headed. "Daryl didn't give me anything to drink, I was safer at the bonfire than your shitty excuse of a party. Now. Move." Was all I said, pushing past his shoulder and finally making it to the barn without any further interruptions, but now he stood in front of the barn doors exit. Fixing my backpack to be secured to the second seat was the only thing I could do, the ride isn't too long. This should be fun...

"Where are you going?"   
"Hang out with some druggies, do some coke, hear a pretty good bathroom story going around school huh?...Funny how you don't know a damn thing about me and you still want to be the higher person Jarod." I spit, taking out the spare helmet. Due to the fact I forgot my good one at school in my locker, guess the big distraction was enough to not allow me to get it...

But I called him out on everything he needs to hear. And in that did he move out of the way, leaving me to walk the bike with my legs on either side of my ride. Letting it roar for a good minute before look back on up to him, did I say where I was going. And when I was going to come back.

His nod allowed me to leave, and in leaving did I not look back. I just drove straight through, moving right along into the main road and heading for the highway. The breeze was refreshing to say the least, especially since this was the longest I've driven it for. I should have done this weeks ago, take the bike up on to the base.

To my surprise was I let straight through the gate, the people there were generally nice. But in all, they were keen on remembering the General's stepdaughters name and recognition quicker than most. 

When I got into my room, mom set it up fairly nice. Left a note, telling me where there's a good place for dinner if I was interested. Along with money, directions all this and that. She was very particular in leaving me alone, that or she was just working heavy to avoid any and all thoughts about Michael overseas. 

I haven't heard much about the war, or what my stepdad might be doing over there. But it wasn't good in case of casualties or anything of the sort. So parking my bike into the garage and fumbling with the front door was I overall nervous. The leather jacket and motorcycle wasn't the look I'd give to a General's daughter but no soldier seemed to mind at the front gate. And I wouldn't either if it wasn't for this empty house just sitting here.

I managed to get work done, a lot more or less. Keeping tabs on my college application heading towards New Haven, the top school I was interested in until my life turned around for the better. And as much as I hate that damn state for the shit it's put me through, perhaps I can save another teenager or child in the mist of it all as well.

That's what I aspire to be. Or do.

*

My few days were up, and by my luck was I just taking the Friday to come to school. Retrieve all my missed work, and have enough time to get it all ready and finished before. Shawn was nice in class, saying he'd pay me back for the bail when he could. Try as I might, he wouldn't agree with the simple 'no,' and I didn't want to talk about it any further. That was the only class I really spoke in, he asked me how I was doing. How home life is treating me but in reality. I left early this morning from the base and haven't been home, or seen Jarod for that matter. He doesn't know I'm in school, better yet, Maddie doesn't know what happened on Monday. 

Perhaps it slipped my brother's mind when he was going on and on about how much he cares, there's no evidence to prove that Daniel did it. And there probably never will be, it's just my word against his, and even then does everyone points to Daryl. It slipped my mind of telling people where I was, the only reason Shawn really knew is that he made sure at least twice a day that everything was alright. And to be honest, I was over the fact that Daniel could have raped me. He still sends chills down my spine whenever I see him in the hallway and I'm alone, another reason Shawn took the task in walking me to the next few.

I think everyone in the group knows, especially after what Daryl did for me. It was a clear cut corner, even people I didn't even look at at the party seemed to make due with a small minute conversation as they walked with me. So I was never alone on Friday, not until I came home.

That's when I was alone.

Out of everyone who walked with me, I didn't see Daryl, not once today. Perhaps he ditched, maybe Daniel caught him outside of school and he's out. But I couldn't find myself to text him, instead, I played his voicemail over again. 

"Hey Blake. Sorry I left, Maddie said you'd be alright and I was gonna beat your brother's ass if he kept pointin' any more fingers at me. Hope ya feelin' better soon. Night."

He stood true to his word in that regard, but I didn't send the text. Instead, did I ready myself for work, took more than enough time off this given week that I don't want to lose this job.

Only one close to home and hell of a nice person for a boss.

*

The weeks flew by just like that, Jarod and I haven't been on the best terms. Not since the fight and my siding with Daryl, but Maddie confirmed my side just a day after the outbreak, and since nothing can be confirmed. My brother thinks it's best to not allow Daniel over the house, not when I'm around, and not until I feel comfortable with him being here.

Ryan on the other hand, was more than apologetic, if he wasn't already in class when the fight broke out. He would have tried to stop it, he was more upset about the entire situation was than my own brother, and in that regard did I show a little more respect for my date to the party than anyone else. 

But no one came close to Daryl. 

I haven't seen him, and when I say that. I mean he hasn't been in school, hasn't shown up to my work. Nothing. Not even a single aspect of light to shine anywhere. There were times I was tempted to call him, but my mind slipped away, always pushing it further and further away. And now look, it's Thanksgiving in just two days. The break started today, and the ride home in the dropping temperature just reminded me of upping my leatherwear for the next few months. 

A surprise at that no one warned me of the temperature here. It isn't as bad as Connecticut, but it isn't great either. Nothing like Florida, or California. What I would pay for the hot sun right about now, to wear shorts. Anything instead of having to double up on socks.

Mom suggested that I start taking the jeep to school, and in fairness...I didn't really want to, it was almost the same thing as just going with my bike, but if Jarod was unable to take Mickey to daycare, I'd make the effort and take the damn car.

Everything else has been slow, work, school, college...Michael should be coming home soon, understandably he won't be home for thanksgiving given the recent reports he's been telling us about. But high hopes for Christmas.

Instead, I wondered what to get everyone for the holidays, making a list was exhausting. And the only one I had down was the baby of the house, otherwise...I couldn't think of anything. Jarod could leave the house and buy whatever he wishes, and instead am I meant to find a gift that might interest him?

Mom was the second easiest, at this point in our relationship. Just being together was enjoyable enough, so I opted for a beautiful necklace and matching earring set, in case there is some sort of event at the base. I just thought of the idea and hoped it'd be good enough.

Michael on the other hand, I worried for. When it comes around Christmas time I'm going to ask mom, and until then. I'll focus on Jarod more or less. But as soon as I started doodling in the corner of the brainstorming paper, was I called to dinner. Sighing out loud, did I just run downstairs to be able to help my mother before she placed on the plates onto the table. 

She'd usually call right before she's done, but I can't stand not helping her out. Especially with the amount of time she's working at the hospital, even I can't think straight staying up all night long.

With dinner silent, as usual, the causal 'how was school/work' floated around, an opportunity at the base popped up, but I was too worn down after today to even think about it.

Maybe I was caught up with Daryl, and how he suddenly vanished. Just the same as how he popped out of nowhere, no one stated or even bothered muttering his name. The thought of Merle getting stuck in jail again set aside another worry that I didn't need.

Why was I so amped up about this stranger?


	17. -TwoDixonsWalkIntoABar-

To be honest, there was nothing special about Thanksgiving. The food was great, no doubt about that. But the hassle in preparing it took away the joy, along with the empty seat at the large dining room table.

My brother's grandparents or my step-grandparents would be joining us for Christmas, or Easter. I didn't really pay attention to the conversation. That's what it's been like for the past couple of weeks, just the slowest pace of anything, like the time loop of everything just masked around this one burning question.

Where the hell did he go?

"Hey, do you have extra-...Blake? You alright?" Taking out my headphones from both my ears and pausing my music did I look to him, my body just sprawled out on the bed as I tried to finish my paper before the break was over. I was perfectly alright, so I rose up, my weight just resting on my folded knees as I turned to stay coherent in this conversation.   
"Who are you texting?" I rolled my eyes as I just went to put my music back on into my ear, shaking my head the entire time until I got comfortable. But he ripped it on out.   
"What the fuck?"   
"Do you have any pairs of headphones?" Pointing onto my desk did he see them, moving straight for them before testing them out. In the confinement of my own room no less, I should just get him some good headphones and be done with him asking for mine all the time.

"But seriously, who are you texting?" It became apparent to him that I've been talking to someone, but in all honesty was it just Shawn. The harmless guy in my psych class who liked someone in the group, I forgot her name. But her name but that's beside the point, clearly irrelevant. "None of your business," I said, getting up and moving to the door. Gesturing to it, but the moment he eyed my phone for too long. Was I ready to pounce on his reaction. "It's Daryl isn't it?" He questioned, the second I had gotten my phone out of his hands and back into mine. Making sure to lock it this time around. 

The concern on his face with it being him, did I just laugh in pure enjoyment. Shaking my head in the end of it all to clarify what I meant. "Because Daryl texts?"   
"How the fuck would I know? You're the one who talks to him."   
"Not anymore." He stopped dead in his tracks, trying to suppress a smile that was starting to show on his face. Making me chuckle in retaliation. 

"Why? Find out he's a hardcore druggy?" I take a long whistle before looking square in the face, gritting my teeth by the end of it as he knew I didn't like that word, especially when associated with my friend. Or who was my friend. "No...I...I don't know where he is." "We got us a runaway?" I shrugged, taking in the fact that I didn't respond to Shawn in a good long minute, and in doing so did it show who I was texting. "Shawn?!" I shrugged, before putting my phone onto my bed. "Don't worry, he likes someone else."   
"Got a knack for this group...Why don't you hang out with Maddie?" Sighing into my hand, did it occur to me that this was an odd little situation I was in. I liked Maddie, I really do. But given the party were we all just separated into rally teams, one of her friends didn't like the fact that I took a throw at Daniel. And others didn't like the fact that I fought with any of the football players.

Without the players, the cheerleaders didn't have a game to cheer at.

So I can see why they hate me. "Why don't you hang out with Shawn?" I retaliated with a question, but even then. Asking a question with a question had him raise a brow, I talked to her in school, saying hi. And whenever she's over we talk, but I could never see myself going shopping at the mall with her. I'm never that type of person.

"That's what I thought..." I mumbled, heading back to my bed. And he too made the effort into leaving the room, and as he was a good distance down the hall did he yell a 'thank you,' as loud as he possibly could, and considering he's a few rooms on down. It echoed on through.

But it was a good thing that he took me out of my writing zone, for it was close to the hour I had to report for work. Lucky on my end that no one in my family questions why I'm late, Michael didn't bother considering I made it home alright and well. The excuse wasn't as bad as the ones Jarod probably laid on him, but otherwise. I just wanted to get out of the house.

Mom tried to put the effort in that she wasn't worried for Michael, or scared about his return date. And to be honest, I felt the stress whenever we managed to make it to the base, Jeremy was kind when I saw him for coffee again. But his training called for him to move quickly out. His unit had rear detachment, and me not knowing that term or phrase had him laugh historically as if I was joking.

My army lingo isn't the best, and I never took the time to study anything of the sort. Instead, did he test me on the decent amount of top phrases I'll be hearing. And I will have you know, rear detachment is when one unit is left behind to cover fundamentals on the base.

The list of positions ran through my mind, especially given the fact that Jeremy's dad Frank Sherwood works with my stepdad at the moment. They're both overseas trying to solve the issue, whatever the mission might be. 

Up until I was halfway of shipping myself over to the Hump bar, did Jarod stop me mid way. Eyes brows scrunched together as he looked down to his watch, and my only reaction to this was, "It's Saturday. They called me in." 

Before moving down the hallway down the stairs, about to tell mom my plan did my brother catch up to me the second I made it to the fridge for a water bottle to take with me. "She called you in?" Nodding to finish off my given sip, capping it and dropping it into my purse. 

"Yeah, it turned busy tonight." Fixing my dog-tags around my neck as I looked for any sign of approval, and in the notion did I just shake my head and continue off to find mom. Just hanging out with a glass of wine in her hand and a book in her lap, reading faithfully for she didn't notice my own arrival in the room. "I got called in, should be home at one." Her looking up and through the glasses as she nodded along. Taking a sip of her drink before shifting. "I wish you would take the jeep sweetie." I shook my head, blowing her a kiss before I headed on out the door. 

Only to be stopped by Jarod yet again, his hand gripping my forearm tightly. I would have responded to him just saying my name, but instead, did he pull this shit. 

Blood boiling already did I rip it on away from him, he didn't know about the Hump bar. And I'm afraid I'll never truly tell him, but that's the cost of a second job and being a friend to Joe. "You'll be out until one?"   
"Two at the latest, stop worrying so much. That's mom's job." Off I went. Officially, my ass out into the freezing wind of tonights looming air. 

Hurrying towards my bike, my gloves making a nice addition to my outfit as I continued down the road. It was always the exhilarating feeling, to speed down the road. Especially at night when no one was around, the one thing I find that I love about Georgia, there's nothing for miles.

The closest neighbor is a good couple of miles away, why we have a farm is beyond me. But no animals are stationed here at the moment, we take rescue animals and bring them to others. We are just a transferring area, I find that respectable.

It was one of the many attempts at a conversation, and since I'm still the newbie around here. School and at home, did I find myself still asking questions. 

Finding a parking space was easy, right in the back right near the entrance I would take. And like I suspected, was it packed to the brim. The bar area was in the center, I came right before the fence that separated the kitchen, the back and the boss's office. Leaving my purse in one of the lockers and my phone in my back pocket as I strapped on a small black apron around my waist, did I reveal myself behind the corner. 

And there was Joe, smiling up a storm as she allowed me to take my space. "Gotta lot of guys tonight, always around the holidays. Family comes in, want a drink during the night. Meaning profit, and a whole lot of tips." I chuckled at her enthusiasm. I appreciated the spot she left me as well, clean, organized. And right in front of all the action. 

With two orders already given to me by the waitress, am I swarmed with conversations from both the workers beside me and by the costumes before me. "How's school goin' for you kid?" My partner was sarcastic, even when I told her I'm in high school. She found it amusing to say the least, but never ratted me out against Joe, not unless they wanted to lose their liquor license and get suspended. The food is good here, but not good enough to keep the business rolling. 

"It's going, breaks are what keep me motivated." Working in sync, passing needed fruit, knives or even other sorts of supplies was easy. What wasn't was the massive amount of people that wished to have a table, or a waitress that she was called out to go to the floor. Leaving me and two others to make and shake drinks. 

And with that, did I hear the sweet sound of a familiar laugh, two in fact. Just surpassing all the other noises conjoined in this room, and I sighed to myself in that moment when I peered on up. Seeing exactly what I thought I heard.

The Dixon brothers, in their full glory at that. 

They took a seat over at a booth, not that I could see them that well. Or hear in their conversation, but I found it odd that they managed to sneak their way in, better yet. Want to sneak their way in, Merle made a point that he has other spots to drink it.

Why come here?I felt myself diving far too into thought, especially when I missed Jessi trying to hand me a cup. "You alright?" About to slice a lime did I look on up to her, fixing it onto the glass before me. "Why wouldn't I be?" Was all I could question, and again. Did I answer a question with a question, off she went laughing along. The added bonus of her even passing by Daryl and his brother had me snicker lightly to myself before moving on to the next bunch of orders.

Normal shots were a hit at the moment, pull out the new shipment of glasses seemed to be the only thing from keeping it off the menu considering they were ordering them faster than we could ship them out.

But then the drawing came forward...Where the hell was Daryl? He wasn't in school, Merle didn't look to be in jail, not with the lack of beer they're ordering. I won't lie and say I wasn't intrigued, but him leaving for almost a month raises some interest. After the way we left things, him taking punches for me.

I respect that, in a way that I shouldn't. Probably reading things completely wrong, but a body coming out this way had me hurry with my one action to be ready for the next. "Sweetheart, can I get tw-...Aw look at this, sugartits workin' tonight?" I didn't even bother lifting my head once I heard the rusty sound pierce through the commotion yet again. 

So having my hands rest at the end of the counter before me as I looked on up to see him, the identical outfit from before. Dirty shirt, heavy flannel and the amused smirk resting on his face. "What can I get you?" I asked with a smile, which made him sit on down at the bar now. Laughing up a storm the entire time as he turned and hollered on over. 

It was going to be one of those nights.

Not even looking up can I feel the hesitation swing through the air, especially when he didn't take the seat before me as quickly as his brother did. But he did end up doing so anyway, considering Merle didn't take his lawful hint. "Come on baby brother, live a little. Sweetheart here ain't gonna bite." Rolling my eyes was I grabbing two large steins from the bottom counter and filling them to the brim before pushing them on over. 

"Look at that hospitality, shoulda parked ourselves over here instead of waitin' on olive oil over there." Daryl, not speaking a word since he came over this way just chuckle. Tilting his glass on up towards me before taking his first sip, I don't think he expected me to be here. Or maybe I didn't explain well enough I come when they need help.

And sure enough, they needed an extra load full of people tonight.

"My brother tells me ya got yaself into a bit of a pickle at school, still a problem?" It's been a solid minute, and I was so focused on getting the orders in that I didn't realize that Merle positioned himself to look out beyond the center field. While my friend was just hovering over his drink. "Did he now?" I questioned, tilting my head towards him.   
"Bunch of assholes if you ask me, there another fight you best call me. You here?"   
"Said I got it covered bro...No need." That was the first time he spoke, the greeting was silent towards me, almost like the time in school when he'd just way two fingers towards me. Or a polite nod.

Guess a brother like Merle would make anyone tense.

"Gettin' your panties in a bunch baby brother, tryin' be nice here."   
"Jarod got the message." The tone of voice changed, I took note of that now. It wasn't his natural speech, this was more of a growl. A hostel growl, and I for one was worried.   
"Oooo how is my boy Jarod doin'? Little shit goin' around botherin' you?" Again. Daryl let out a smile and a chuckle, letting his teeth shine before me. And in turn was it funny of how little Merle knew about the time well spent in high school now, since he graduated or dropped out. 

Betting on one stronger than the other.

"I live with the little shit..." The rang of laughter fell through, as he slammed his fist jokingly down to the table. Now turning to face us both as Daryl soon began to let the beer in his stomach relax him, guess he needed that push. "Now you didn't tell me the whole story."   
"Not my story to tell..." Waving my arm up, gesturing for him to review the facts with his brother. Guess the school fight was more interesting than the drug portion. As Daryl finished up the last sip of beer he turned to his brother. "Daniel, sick bastard roofed Blake. Snuck it into her drink, kept her refilled. Asshole blamed me."  
"Always gotta point fingers somewhere else, but you get a few good licks in I bet. Didn't teach you no better if that ain't the case." The moment I saw Daryl's finger point towards me I smiled and began to shake my head because I knew in the moment where this was going. 

"Blake wasn't supposed to come to school, 'em jocks all ganged up on her so her brother can talk to her. Started pointin' fingers at me, and when Danny boy touched her. She knocked him to the ground." The elaborated explanation Daryl gave had relived the moment, and to be honest, I was scared. 

Never did I have a brother to be against me like that, even my foster families did I render the younger ones under my care to protect them. Not fight against me. But the laughter before me pulled me out of my long and wild train of thought. It was nice company for them to sit with me as I work, but honestly...I didn't really wish to relive the past, either portion of it.

"You mean to tell me she knocked him down on his ass?" As my friend was rubbing his finger against his chin did he nod along, slowly but surely did he respond as well. "Hell, her brother was shaken up by it...Proud of ya for that one...He botherin' ya at all?" With the question directed to me now, did I just shake my head. Leveling my eyes every few seconds to stay tuned in to the conversation, but I wasn't really here.

It's been a blank few weeks.

"Be right back." His brother stated, downing his drink before heading towards a women at the far end of the bar. The combined effort of a chuckle had us lock eyes for a moment before rendering each other embarrassed. "Got worried when you weren't in school." Him? Worried?   
"At Fort Benning with-"   
"Shawn told me." Him not allowing me to finish had my eyes widen without permission. The silent scold in the back of my head surpassed the urge to blush, and so I didn't. Instead was I left in the utter thought of him keeping tabs on me. "Took a few days off...Guess you did too."   
"Yeah...Gotta family matter to deal with."   
"Everything alright?" He growled in a much more friendly opening, compared to his responses to his brother. This was him opening up, or the beer starting to drift in. 

He was gone for three weeks. And my idea of suspicious clouded around, how does a family matter involve missing almost a month of school? And for what?   
"Everythin' float aight with ya brother?" Shrugging did I finish the small little addition to the drink in the process before passing it off, washing my hands to the side before responding.   
"He's not allowed over the house, near me, look at me. Doesn't think it's him, but doesn't want him around me."   
"Better than nothin'." Having a clear moment did I move to his empty stein, and he pushed it towards me for another round. "Busy tonight huh?"   
"Yeah, Joe said it's cause of the holiday." That earned a good little laugh from my friend, especially when I returned him a fresh pint of beer. "Yeah, everybody wants to get outta the damn house...Too cooped up if ya asked me." Looking at the clock did I not realize it was already midnight, two more hours before clock out. 

Felt like forever.

"Ya ever drink in here?" I scoffed as he made that assumption, but to be honest. I was invited to more than a few get-togethers, Shawn and Rachel tried their best to get me to go. But they understood...Never the less had I not taken a sip of anything in that time frame. "I haven't drank since..."   
"Aw come on Blake, work in a bar for christ sakes...Get two of 'em shots...We're gonna fix that right now, comeon." My hands just gripping the table as I began to smile and shake my head. 

I wasn't about to do it. But he gritted his teeth so playfully, pointing to the shot glasses.   
He was dead serious. 

So letting my head fall on backward towards the ceiling did I tap the bottom counter, looking to him one last time. But he wasn't letting go, so letting out a loud sigh. Did I get the bottle and pour two shots on out before me.

I took one in the mist of my hand and as did he, rising up his smirk ever so highly. Like he was proud. "Can't be scared to drink Blake, what's the fun in that?"   
"I'll cheers to that." We clinked glasses, and I swung it back, letting the sweet nectar just burn the back of my throat. Letting the rim of the glass touch my work area, simulating my end of the round.

He was tempting the entire time, the burn in my stomach is the reminder I needed to who I was talking to. My brother might have been worried about his influence, but that's because he cares. The thing is, as does Daryl. He was so keen on just talking back and forth, it only took the simple 'no,' twice after the single shot I had done. His fake ID allowed him entry, I, on the other hand, wasn't supposed to be working here.   
"Aw shit..." My friend mumble, having his hand rubbing his entire face at whatever thought was bothering him. "What's up?" I simply questioned, he stuck his thumb out on behind him. And at first, I was in question of his gesture, until I realized. Merle was nowhere to be found. "  
You got a ride home?"   
"Yeah. Buddy of mine can-"   
"Wait five minutes, I can take you home." He started to shake his head, but I countered it with my own shake. And the obvious reminder of how he saved me from the 'evil jocks'. He was too drunk to say anything more than that.

So he nodded along, claiming he'd finish this last drink. And so I clocked on out, but I was still obligated to clean my area before leaving. And that had me wipe down my counter and place everything in the sink that I ended up needing throughout the night. 

Tapping on the counter before him did he look on up, nicking my head did he follow. About to place the money forward but again I shook my head. "On the house..." He followed me around back, and as I was about to take my tips out from my apron, did Daryl stuff the money on in there. "I ain't leavin' ya without a tip." I smiled up at him as I took my bag from. Opening him the door as he struggled to get his own jacket over his shoulders. "Why were you at fort beginnin' anyhow?"   
"Stepdad is in the army." He let out a long 'ahh' sound as we walked on off towards my bike, and although I didn't want to admit to myself why I was smiling. I found it rather nerve wrecking to think he actually agreed to this, inspire everything, and despite him not being present for these few weeks. "That got ya wearin' 'em dog-tags?" Nodding before stuffing my purse into the added rucksack at the near end of my bike did I grab my helmet. 

"Something tells me you don't like riding with one." He let out a huff of laughter as he shook his head side to side, but I, in fact, put one on in the added case of getting more than the given chill. 

He allowed me to pull it on out of the parking spot before even considering what was at stake, and with it running did I just slide up my shielded mask. Looking him square in the face. "Think you can handle my driving?" He flicked his cigarette to the ground as he lifted his leg up and over the bike, fixing his position behind me. Letting my hand off the handle, rubbing my brow as I shook my head through it. Did I just reach on back for his hands to lap over my waist. 

"Not about to have you fall off." His chuckle was more high pitched than the laugh, having his body rustle with intent as he was so close in space. 

Letting my bike rip, twisting the handle before riding on off into the given street. Did he direct me to where to go, he lived farther away than I thought he did. Just hope I can find my way back. "How long ya ridin' bikes for?" 

"Ever since I learned how to fix them." I had turned feeling the warmth itch up my exposed neck as he was struggling to keep a firm grip on me.

He's been twitchy ever since he saw me, and only calmed down once his brother left the scene to go bend someone over a counter. I sighed at the thought, of how disgusted Daryl must have felt knowing his ride ditched him. 

I felt obligated to give him a ride, that and felt bad.

Him tapping my shoulder did I ready myself for the next direction, but in that regard had he just said a stern "Next one." Having me pull in rather abruptly, without difficulty did I ride through the long driveway, smack in the middle of the woods to see the smallest of any house illuminating the densely compact area. 

As I began to stop the bike was he already moving away, his arms drifted down to hold the back of the seat as he pulled his body up and over. "Dumbass left the fire on." He chuckled, taking off my helmet and letting it sit on my lap did I just watch him walk on over to the pit, still roaring with fire. And I only could crave how nice it would feel.

But inevitably I needed to get on home, taking my phone out of my jacket pocket was I in shock that it was already almost two. "Stick 'round. Ain't no one home." Zipping up my pocket to secure my phone's position did I stick my thumb out behind me, about to claim how bad of an idea it would be. Just never stuck that way. "Gotta be home by-"   
"Bullshit, I'll grab the beer." He was working with the two lawn chairs, positioning them beside the fire. And instead of arguing, I went forward.

The crackling of the fire sounded stronger as I made my through the yard to meet his last position, sitting in the chair and about to put my feet on up did he have the beer before me. Gripping the bottle did I tip it on up towards him, chuckling when I saw the pack of beer he had so cleverly taken out. And instead of waiting any further, did I take my pack of cigarettes out and offer them. "Parents know ya smoke?" Finishing my inhale, and letting through my exhale did I again. Laugh out loud at the thought of my mother knowing, rubbing above my brow at the conversation that would have come through. "Parent don't know I work at a bar." Was the only follow up I could think of as he too took the comfy road, even putting up his feet to the rim of the fire.

Which I was quick to copy, boots were wearing out anyhow, might as well burn them a bit. "Family matter really take you out of school for three weeks?" The hum drawer out until he finished his sip, shaking his head before repositioning himself. All the actions to figure out what he was going to say before actually saying anything. 

"Merle and I, we go huntin'...Make a lotta money near thanksgiving with fresh meat, more than the bikes do." Nodding along did I not peg him as a hunter, but given the look-alike hunting cabin in the middle of the woods. Could I get behind the ideal fact, he wasn't lying.

Not with the amount of alcohol in him just yet.

"Didn't know you fix bikes."   
"Yeah...Got yaself a nice one." Thanking him for the compliment, was I in awe how this all ended up. Given the fact I drowned myself in the same repetitive notion of 'not to care,' but he and Shawn are the closest friends I have at the moment, and I don't want to lose that...Maybe sitting down for a beer was a mistake, but refusing it would have been worse.   
"You coming back to school?" He frowned at my question, but I wanted an answer. I was so sure in seeing him on Friday that I felt alone without him, the first week I was just waiting to see him. And by each passing class did it slowly fall down.

That's why I was so confused as to why he appeared today out of all nights, Thanksgiving has just ended. So I guess that makes sense, just don't know how much anxiety was amped up until he came on over...

"I guess. Gotta make sure you ain't getting into no more fights." Rolling my eyes as I continued to sip the beer but in all. I was waiting for something, he didn't invite me on out to smoke and drink. We talked for a good few hours at work, but he seemed more relaxed there than we do in this very moment. "Jarod tried telling me...About how...Or what you do...Pisses me off because he doesn't know me either." Sighing into my free hand now, as I flicked away my finished cigarette. I chuckled at the thought, nobody knows me here. It's so easy to get angry about everything that's happened, that I forget that everyone here...

Doesn't know a single thing. 

Jarod doesn't know the whole story, and if he did. He'd know to never judge me on my choices on who I hang out with. Because I don't want history repeating itself. "Hell, I barely know ya...Come outta fuckin' nowhere, Connecticut huh...Where the hell is that?" "Next to New York." I rolled my eyes at his attempt at a joke, but in all fairness, I wanted him to give me an explanation of why I was here. 

Until the insanity of that damn fucking rumor that still haunts the hallways, sort of hilarious if you ask me. "The rumor never died down. Forwarning." His husky laughter rang through the night's air, having me join on in as he found it so hilarious. 

Remember I'd always make jokes towards Jarod about it, his fault for bringing it up or asking too much information. "Figured. Got damn followers cause ya a newbie." He laughed on out behind his hand, covering up his mouth as though he was trying to hide. At this point, I'm going to be the damn newbie up until graduation, and there isn't much I can do to stop that. Stumbling at the last sip of beer, did I feel my phone begin to ring in my pocket. Holding in bottle firmly in my hand did I see both the time...And the caller ID. "Shit," I mumbled, answering the call. 

"Who's-" I held my finger up before he could finish his question, and he just stared at me as if I was insane. But the psychotic yelling towards me was enough to have me shift the phone farther and father away from my ear. 

"Blake where the fuck are you?! Don't you know what time it is..." Sighing into my hand as he continued to blab on and on about 'staying up for me' all this and that, while he was waking up the entire fucking house with his sporadic four in the morning call. I missed the texts apparently, but in due favor, the last time I checked my phone was at 2...

It was then I lost my grip on my phone, it didn't fall. Daryl took it out of my hands before I had a chance to react to it gone, he took it to his ear and chuckled. "Bro, bro calm the fuck down. She's alright. I'll bring her home right now, take it easy." The yelling still commenced, he gave an honest effort into calming him down but it proved to be faulty. 

And the added bonus was...Daryl hung up.

"I'm screwed." Was all I said, reaching out to him to give my phone on back. He just rose up to his feet. Starring the fire before sitting on back down to finish off his beer, I wasn't sure if he'd prove true to his promise. "Quit worryin' ain't good for ya." He said, handing me off another beer, and as I was about to protest did he pop the cap on off. Putting it into my hand without another word of the argument. So I just took another swing of the drink to make him cough out the smoke he inhaled. "You didn't have to do that either."   
"I probably made it worse." 

Fixing my feet position did we stay seated, looking up at the stars. Breathing in the smoky air, or just cracking jokes. Talking about...Anything really. It was nice to let loose, this is what I needed, especially after the few weeks of blandness. "Does Merle do that a lot?" I asked, picking at my nails, turning to see him just resting his chin up on his hand. Looking over at me when I spoke. The fire still shining brightly to our faces in this pitch black night...Or morning, depending on the way you're looking at it. "Hooking up with random chicks? Yeah. Should have known that's what we came out drinkin' for....Just home ya know." 

Him saying that still didn't change my opinion, him dealing more than the regular amount of drugs is what gets me amp up. Can't forgive what coke did in my life. "Got that look again." I sent the scowl his way when he brought up the comment from earlier, every time I trail a thought does it wind up back behind me. "Just thinking..."   
"He's an asshole, probably heard it from your brother too." Shrugging up against my chair do I retrain eye contact with him, unsure of where this was going.

"Why'd you walk away at the bonfire...When they were passing out the coke?" I questioned, my mind was so detached that I didn't think of phrase it correctly, but it managed to come out close to the truth. "Saw ya walk off, didn't really want people gettin' lost...But...Ain't a big fan of seein' assholes turnin' into bigger assholes." I rose my half-finished beer into the air and agreed on that statement, my biological dad can't be beaten. 

Coke or no coke.

"What about ya? Never answered me from before." Nodding did I look to him one last time before staring directly into the fire. Taking one long breath before drawing it out into the night. "Parents were into it...They didn't stop when I came around." I could hear him shift directly to face me, in an effort to hear me better for I was mumbling. Didn't want to tear up, but it happened anyway.

Never depicted me as a sad drunk, but it sucks to think it wasn't just a story. What the social workers told me happened, its mandate to the records of myself, my mother and surely my father.

"...Jarod doesn't know. Mom never told him, got remarried a few years ago." Looking through the crack of my hair did I see him tense up, it got too personal so I moved forward breathing once more. And smiled. Pushing everything back so that it can stay in the depths behind me. "How long ya been here for then?"   
"Four months." He was trying to piece it together, as best he could. Due to the fact that his eyes were shifting between the two of mine, waiting for me to say something more to the story.   
"Ain't drunk enough to tell you everything else." His way of speaking was rubbing off on me, and I could tell by his loud smirk that he caught up on that one too. 

Instead, did he rise on up to his feet. Going towards the fire to put it on out. "Wanna keep ya brother waitin' even longer?" I shook my head, taking the few beers bottles that feel down by my chair. Amused at the thought of how much I've drank in the last few hours and haven't really set through of what I'm doing here. 

"Unless ya wanna screw 'round some more...Best be goin'." I stopped dead in my tracks, not thinking to further my action into grabbing another fallen bottle. Instead, I looked at him, his smirk from the joke slowly inching downward.

Before we both laughed it on off, he took the bottles from my grasp instead. Bringing them over to a bench before disappearing beyond the house. I was screwed. More importantly, I was screwed with the smell of beer radiating from me and my breath. 

Going off to my bike did I look at my phone, and in pure amusement did I begin reading the essay my brother had written towards me. But even that was put to a halt once I heard the roaring sound vibrate my bike. 

And out of the corner of the house comes this piece of art, and all I could see is the high smile raging further as he comes to place it beside mine. "Oh you're cruel."   
"It's Merle, don't hold ya breath. Gotta get ya back home in one piece sunshine, or ya brother's gonna have my ass." I shook my head as started up my bike, pulling my helmet on over my head before kicking the stand on up to turn it on around. "Should have thought about that an hour ago when he called!" I shouted, and his only response was to rip through the road before me. 

Follow close behind did I manage to stay a steady pace beside him, no cars dared to be on the road this time of the morning. Frankly, it seemed wild that I was still awake, I was jealous of the bike no doubt. 

The only reason he's driving me on the way home is that he wanted to show it off. But even more so...His joke about screwing around? Maybe it's the beer talking a little bit, but what if I didn't return the laugh and he was being serious. And I just shut him down in the rudest way?

Holding my tongue at the thought had me laugh it on off, he had no obligation towards me other than signing off when the jocks came and went against me. Even then nothing would have happened.

Rounding about to my driveway did we halt the bikes to a restful close. It was five A.M and at one point or another will Michael be up and awake to see me still out. I don't wish for that conversation, especially seeing Jarrod's light still on.

He followed close behind to the barn but stopped his bike before I had a chance to even bother getting off mine. Opening the door for me like a gentleman he was so I could just ride it on in. Turning my bike off did I take my helmet into my hands and grab my bag. "Don't think I would have found my way home if you didn't come." He chuckled. Fixing the length of his jacket in reaction the wind picking on up. "Tell ya brother,to cool it down, he ain't ya dad." He mustered up the reason why he's been acting so off, and it finally fit. Perhaps he's always had everything in control when Michael is off to war, and here I am messing up the order. Probably scaring mom to death.

"Think you got the nail on the head..." He chuckled, hands in his pocket now as his lack of gloves was a mistake on this ride on out. So I gestured to keep moving on out since I needed to get on in and face my fate. "You going to disappear for Christmas too?" He let out a low grunt, contemplating if he'd be here or not. And in regard to graduating, I don't think that's going to happen anytime soon...

"Yeah, we throw a kick-ass end of the year party...You gonna come?" We were close to the house now, the front light just itching closer. But with the temperature dropping and the anger 'father figure' coming to my mind, this conversation could wait for another time. "Why wouldn't I?" My first reaction to anything is a question...Why was it so hard for me just to answer?   
"Haven't been out since."   
"How did you-"   
"Shawn told me." He didn't dare to try any sort of eye contact with me, instead did he manage to continue walking forward as if he didn't respond to the question at all. He was keeping too many tabs on me to be worth all this trouble, and I wasn't about to throw that away. We shared the same interests, but I can't see us any more than that....

Walking up the front steps did he just stand at the bottom of them, not daring to even look at the threshold before us both. Guess neither of us were about to cross that path again, so instead did I reach on over the porch's railing and begin to climb up. "Hell ya think you're doin'?" He whispered, fairly loudly to be identified as that. So I let out a long 'sh' as I continued my action until I was stable. "Window's unlocked. How'd you think I got in after the bonfire?" 

He shook his head but still, even in this lighting could I see his general worry at me falling off. So instead did I just manage to the window, sliding it on up before throwing my thumb up into the air. "See ya around?" I whispered, and in doubt of him thinking I couldn't see his smile. 

"We'll see. Stay outta trouble." One last little laugh before settling into my room, shoes flat on the floor as I saw him walk on off. Making sure that it was shut fully did I see him turn on back to look.

I didn't form another attempt at waving or anything of the sort, the fact that we sat for hours just talking, smoking and drinking without worries or troubles was...Refreshing. Especially smelling like beer and cigarettes so heavily, I think my light head could manage a good nights sleep. 

But even then, did I find myself waiting at my window. Light now off and my body in different clothes getting ready for bed, the Christmas ones just plastered to the corners of my ceiling, outlining my posters when I finally heard the noise that brought me closure.

The roaring rip that sounded on out at the road.


	18. -It'sADate-

Sunday was uneventful, other than the usual 'talk' Jarod decided to yell at me about. The second my mother left the door to go to work did it occur as well. Which made me hop on my bike and go to the mall.

I don't like shopping, I despise it. But I needed clothes, and I needed the good array of Christmas gifts to make it seem meaningful this time of year. Hell, the Christmas tree is already up, and since it's my first time with the family, thought I give the effort.

My mind floated to something more, and that was if I should Daryl something for Christmas. It's better to give than to get, still feeling the need to thank him for helping me out. And for being a good friend to me these past few weeks.

Even if we didn't talk.

It was Monday now, and all throughout yesterday was I stuck on what to get my friend. Jarod, I had just gotten the regular amount of video games to supply him for a few months, since he's always complaining about 'playing the same shit,' my mom's necklace and earring are already wrapped and in my closet hidden beside my brother's gift. Along with Mickey's as well. 

Just a teddy bear and an outfit that I found too adorable to pass up. Now it was just me finding something for Michael and Daryl, how hard could that be? Walking down the stairs, fixing my books in my bag was I put to a halt as Jarod blocked my given walkway as he stood before me. "What's up?" Not daring to look at him directly did I continue to make the effort in fixing my bag until he moved aside. Following me to the kitchen where I went to get started on breakfast for myself and Mickey since Mom still isn't home. 

"Are you working this weekend?" My eyebrows scrunched together as my attention moved away from stuffing myself in the fridge. Just taking out the orange juice and the small little container of baby food. "uh...Friday yeah, Saturday I don't know." He nodded and I rolled my eyes as I began heating up Mickey's food. 

The little boy was babbling away at the table as Jarod figured out what to make for himself, cereal was usually the way he went. But then he offered to make scrambled eggs, and I automatically knew something was up.

"Everything alright?" I asked as he stirred the scramble into the large pan did he looked to me and begin to laugh. "Perfect. Just need to find Mickey a babysitter on Friday. It's Maddie and I's anniversary." My imminent reaction was to smile, brightly at that, but in clearance did I think of an alternative. "I can take off if you-"   
"It's alright. Now you can stay out late as you want with that Dixon brother." Holding my lips captive did I just giggle a smile, it was much too early to be taking rudely to one another. Especially with the baby just before us both.

"He's not all that bad..." I mumbled, getting the plates ready at the island. Pulling out the bar stool as I took a seat, while he met me on the opposite side, filling mine and his plate to the brim with food. 

It looked great, cheese scrambled eggs and toast. What could be better on a cold morning like this one. "I don't trust him. That call-" I didn't let him finish as I put my hand up to stop him dead in his tracks. "Was a joke, we were just talking." He didn't bother sitting next to me, just leaning over the side of the counter. Eating faster and faster so we can make it on time, but eyeing him while taking a sip of my drink had him clatter down his fork. "Where the hell was he for those three weeks?"   
"Family matter."   
"That's what he told you?" Taking my last bite did I take his and my plate to the sink before grabbing my bag and heading towards the bathroom. Slamming the door. "Told you don't know him, whatcha say Blake come on out. I'll give you a ride to school, it kinda cold and I promise mom that I'd-" Throughout his yelling through the door had I gotten my toothbrush a good few strokes to my teeth as I scoffed within the mirror. Rolling my eyes repetitively as to what he's been saying.

But at the offer did I just snap. "I'm good." I heard his sigh, and at this point, he was bringing the argument on himself. So once I heard the steps walk on off, and the mumbling of both Mikey and Jarod did I release myself from the bathroom to look out the window.

The second the car flew out of the driveway did I deem it safe to leave, heading for my bike and before I knew it. Was I ripping the road towards school. 

With the day already slow, Shawn not really in the mood to talk much. Something to do with his girl that he didn't want to mention, he'd promise to tell me when he was feeling better about it. And I simply agreed.

The boatload of homework was larger than expected, and as the free period rolled around. I found myself in the library, writing down this weeks work so my mind wouldn't stress to the high heavy.

With the clear side of a fresh sheet of paper, wrapped around the back of the notebook did I begin. Due dates, college applications. All added to my work schedule, and the added bonus did I find myself listening to music on my phone. Hiding it in my sleeve so I wouldn't get caught by some nosey library lady that is stationed only a bit before me

As my hands were trying to find my glasses in my bag, the fuzzy vision making it difficult to see. Did a finger tap my shoulder making me turn around to look, it was then a greeting smile was featured on my lips. "Hey. what're you doing in school?" He shrugged, taking the chair beside me. However he had found me in the mist of all these working classmates, I wouldn't know. Nor was I prepared for him being here. "Told ya I'd come...'sides, Merle's bein' an ass." I chuckled as he turned his head towards me, before squinting down to my book to see what I was writing. Nodding along with it all. "Ya workin' Friday? Bummer, there's a party." I chuckled, taking a hold of my notebook and closing it so he wouldn't see the entirety of my plans.

Not that there were any anyway.

With my eyes occupied to look somewhere other than him, did I mumble, "Not a fan of jock parties anymore." As I had no other action than to move my gaze up was he already looking at me, his head resting against his hand. "Even if I was there?" With the question in the air, was I hesitated in speaking what I truly meant. I felt safer with him than I'll ever care to admit, even now am I about to say no in due cause to not give into his ego. 

"We'll see..." His smile widened as he let his fist drop down to the table. But instead of sitting with me he rose. "Ima take a smoke, ya wanna come?" I grabbed him by the wrist and shushed him before he could even think of saying anything more.

"What the hell are ya...Ahhh, don't smoke in school? Come on, I know a good spot." Again did he try to take a chance, but I remained sitting. Making him scoff in clarification of him wanting me to come. "Ain't nobody gonna see." Looking around did I feel obligated to stay in the library where I told my study hall teacher I am in, but what was the worst that could happen?

Instead, I rose to my feet. My bag over my shoulder, but as I moved towards him. Did my glasses fall right on out to the floor beside his feet. Fuck. As he went down to grab them was he in complete amusement of them. But I snatched them out before setting them at the bottom of my bag. "You-" "Let's go." Taking him by the wrist as I led him out of the library, he stumbled, making it difficult to exit.

Managing that with the shots of laughter stopping behind me, was I in awe of how amusing my lack of vision is to him. "Ya ain't givin' me no rides no more...Not without glasses." My nose hitched up at his comment, not knowing where I was going until he pointed to the left. Making me look both ways before following. I've never truly smoked in school or this school. 

There was only once, the first day where I contemplated it. But even then did I always push it off to a later time. "It's for up close asshole." Hearing the sweet sound of his chuckle range through the empty halls, passing the one where he took a few hits from my brother. Before finding ourselves in a different area of the school entirely.

At first was I confused as to where he was taking me, until he took the latter on up pushing the hatch, yanking his body to the surface before yelling to me. 

In that instinct did I not want to have my bag drop, so instead did I pull it over my head. Securing it in place before taking the metal bars in grasp, following through did I level out my tall boot's heel to them as well as he offered a hand for the last given few. 

The chilling breeze was an instant hit, but it became bearable within the minute. I don't know how the hell everyone can deal with these high temperatures for such a long time, and no sight of snow at all.

With my feet clear on the concrete did I rise up with his help, taking a deep breath to overlook the entire school. "You come up here often?" I asked, turning towards him as I made my way over towards a good seating area. "Yeah, we got spots everywhere...Not much they can do." Taking the seat down beside a metal box did he follow now. Trying to cover my lighter enough to light the butt end of my cigarette did it finally lite. This was a mistake. I'm going to get too used to the fact that I can smoke during school. Promised myself once I started that I wouldn't ever itch for one...Guess that ended as well.

"Better in the summer, ya...Yea this school too cheap to run the air-conditioner. Feels like a hot oven then." Nodding in agreement did I remember the hot and sweaty times within my old school's ugly dull walls. At least this one is trying.   
"Ya gonna try and make it Friday? Or you just sayin' it just cause?" Flicking the end of the bud away from me to get the ash away from my jeans. Trying to get the stench or evidence away from me as much as possible. But I chuckled at how he thought. "I don't think you're the type of person to take 'no' for an answer." He huffed, slumping to the back. Allowing himself to relax as he pleads his case on why I should go. I saw this coming, especially since I saw his mind working up the speech. "Ya gotta get out. Ain't no way the last time ya partied was with that sicko." 

The new nickname had me sigh in agreement of what he was saying. And it felt odd to do so otherwise, so I thought about it. And if I managed to come in early, perhaps I can leave early too. "I'll make you a deal. I'll leave work early, but I want to ride your brother's bike." He began to shake his head until he let his head lean back with a slight jolt of a sound.  
"Askin' for a lot Blake." I let my eyes settle for a long-closed blink before looking at him, head resting on my elbow, only being propped up by my risen knee as I stared at him. Continuing to flick my second smoke over aways, but I felt the scent begin to linger. "I'll help you sell." That's when his eyebrow rose, that was the move he needed. How much more could I give him leeway for, it isn't a lie that girl sellers make more money. Boys seemed interested and girls trust their own kind. I think I have this in the bag.

"Deal...Ya brother gonna be there?" He took his hand out to shake with it, and I gave him a solum nod as well. Until the question rang through, and I began to shake my head side to side. Explaining how my brother had other plans, leaving us to relax for the given few minutes until finally, the bell rang. Having me leave him up there, with a date planned for Friday.


	19. -AnotherJockParty-

It was refreshing to leave the house for a majority of the day, that being work or school. I even stayed with K&R during lunch a few times this week catching up, it's been odd trying to find my place among people who've been with one another since preschool.One point or another did struggle to think of a gift for both my stepfather and Daryl, there were two ways to go with either, a callback. Which was completely and utterly low with Michael, so that was completely out of the question. That was the ride to work, I was a bit late considering Jarod wanted to talk. Giving me the entire schedule, he was picking her up in an hour. Getting the house set up nice before treating her. He didn't even want me mentioning it to her, she asked what I was doing Friday night in hopes of hearing about it. But I just said I was working before the conversation got too deep for me not to handle.The chilling breeze continuing to find it's way through my jacket did I begin to think of how I needed a new one. Especially since the months of winter aren't even halfway over, and by the time I come to my senses will I not need it. That was the final thing I could think of before rendering myself into the dinner, perhaps Jarod thought I'd be going out with a friend instead of actually working considering the number of times he's asked me. Walking up the few steps to be greeted with both a warm breeze and a smile from the boss lady, did she pull me aside. "Sorry hun, I shoulda called you ten minutes ago. Family emergency, my sister's in the hospital. Gonna close down for tonight." I should have figured when there was barely anyone within the restaurant, I barely had my jacket up before I asked her a million questions in my mind. 

Until I took over, taking the keys from her hand telling her to go because I wanted to lock up. The pure sight of relief flew onto her face in an instant, before she rushed on out. There wasn't much to look after, the cooks barely did anything and we left within the ten minutes of me walking in the door.Although it was a waste of a moment to tell Daryl a different time, I decided to return back home since Maddie wouldn't be coming until 7. It was barely six thirty.Hoping back onto my bike did I begin to predict what sort of outfit I'd wear, it was a house party. I know that much, but if I wanted to manage to hide things within my jacket. The look-alike army jacket with pockets inside seemed to be the ordeal choice at the moment. So I began to speed up, planning to text Daryl the second I'm off my bike. 

But all that changed once I turned into my driveway.

With the blockage of cars taking over the beginning entry of grass did I manage to dodge the given amount of people before making it to the barn. This time in complete distress of locking it.The blaring of the music following the intensity of yelling and screaming was in result of one thing. Jarod wasn't having an anniversary with Maddie, he was throwing a party. 

Not only did he not tell me, I also wasn't invited. Storming up towards the front steps did a football player in full glory just stop me right in my tracks...If steam could form out of my ears, they would be bursting to the brim. "Name?" He said, ready to look at the clipboard list before him. And I scoffed as loudly as ever, my hands over my shoulders in dispute of what was actually happening before me. "There's a fucking list?" I yelled, making sure he could hear me over the abundance of music. "Yes, 'there's a fucking list' what's your name babe? Can't let you in if you're not on it." Again did I laugh, not only by the nickname. But the sheer fact that he doesn't know who I am, so instead did I yank out my keys to the door. Predicting that he had it locked in the first place before his shift of this.   
"I live here." His eyes widened, and if on cue he moved out of the way. Opening the door, and to my surprise.   
Was I in full shock at the number of bodies compact here. So instead of trying to track down my brother, I weaved my way through the lingering amount of classmates until I made it to the stairs. But my hopes were not accounted for because they were relatively crowded as well.   
Just the sign that says 'do not pass' was left to be challenged.  
And I was not about to catch someone fucking in my bed at a moment like this.  
So instead I texted Daryl, 'we have a problem,' before running to my room. The clear air of toxicant was different, especially given the fact I'm the one who smokes.   
Slamming my door shut did I see his text:

He would think that, so instead I sat myself down on my bed. Looking to the crowds of people in my driveway or just around the property. 

I feel violated, this was a personal area that I've barely been set with as a home for me. And I don't think Jarod fully understands that just yet, but he will...Once I set this straight. So instead I responded to Daryl text.

>I'll tell u when u get here.<

That was it, other than the given on his way reply. When I was off sitting and waiting, standing at my window where I've placed a sort of built-in couch. The cushions sticking out only a bit to provide the littlest bit of detail, otherwise, this room was very bland.

Only real personalization was the Christmas lights and posters, didn't really know what else to put so there they were. Telling him to meet me in my room might have been telling him too much, but as I was patiently waiting for him to come, the knock on the door frightened me beyond belief."Hell if I didn't know any better, I'd say ya threw a party and didn't tell me." I chuckled as went forward into my room, throwing down from his shoulder the bag of sales he wished to sell tonight. I was still in on the forefront, didn't care if it was my own house. 

In fact, it seems better this way. Safer.

"He lied. Doubt he saw me yet either." Daryl snickered to himself, looking out my window to see the massive amount of people. The music seemed to die out until the next song came bursting out, making my water vibrate within the cup. Shaking my head at the thought of a conversation with my brother at a moment like this was actually hilarious to plan out. 

Especially when I know how he handles arguments, this far into the relationship of brother and sister does he not fair well with factual evidence. Or quick thinking in that sense either.Turning back on over towards Daryl did I see him think of a game plan, sort of refreshing to see him so deep in thought. Thinking strategery to get the most money for tonight. 

"Ya wanna test it?" He said, holding up a joint already in hand. Letting my head hang back for a moment did I ponder it before walking the given distance across my room towards him now, taking it in hand and thinking about it. "Tonight whatever we get for profit, split it sixty-forty." He spoke, having his one arm fold against his chest while the other scratch towards his five o'clock shadow. To be honest I was not looking for money, much less him giving it to me. So I shook my head. "This is enough. I'm not-" I stopped talking when his head leaned on back, before shaking side to side.   
"Blake I mean it, don't ya want-" I just held it up into my hand as he chuckled, waving both arms around in a clear surrender. There was no way I wouldn't pass up this opportunity, instead, did I grab my jacket. Opening the window to the back porch where it was flatter than the rest of the house's roof. "You are not smoking in here, my mother would kill me." He nodded, close in pursuit as I leaned one foot up and over to get a steady girl. Where he soon followed. 

The cool air was a startled awakening of what is going to happen, my brother's going to find out I'm here. Unless he has already, if he wants to make an argument. I can threaten to call mom, he was the one who lied. I was just happily going to work until this happened."Ya brother gonna be aight with me sellin'?" As we shared the lighter, smoking our perfectly rolled joints. I allowed my inhale to exaggerate for longer than me because I wished to think of a response in case that was to happen. 

"He didn't mention anything about a party...Threaten to tell if he gives me any shit." As my friend laid his back on down to the ash fall of this shingled roof, did I just lean one hand back. Propping myself up and switching every other time to get the disintegrating joint to be removed from my lips. 

"Ya still with me?" He mumbled, turning my gaze did I look at him. Still in the position I last saw him in, his crooked elbow acting as a resting pillow for his head. And I just giggled in response as he thought I was surely out of it.   
"Think I can get any more answers outta ya?" I shook my head in triumph, perhaps he wouldn't ask if he knew he couldn't get them. Instead, he rose on up, sitting straight in comparison to me. And he leaned on in real close before whispering the words, "Ya wanna bet?" Pursuing my lips at his devilish invitation did I just rise my smirk. 

"You can ask, don't depend on an answer." I giggled, his face just a few inches away from my own. And return did he smirk as well, judging by the small glint in his eyes once more. Did his brain begin to stir of how he should handle this opportunity. I wasn't high enough to not know what he was doing, beyond buzzed.

"So..." He started, making my eyebrows twitch in the process at his long-awaited pause. 

"...Blake...Got any family in Connecticut?" My smile led out, along with finger that pointed directly to him as I motioned it up and down. He worded it close enough to allow me to think of it as something else. 

"Did I leave my family behind? Perhaps..." In truth I feel like I did, some of the girls in the all-girls home transferred with me to the foster home, others we went to school with.I still have my knife in my bedroom drawer.

"So secretive when ya don't gotta be." He grumbled, as if he was getting antsy for a true response. I get that he wants to know, but I don't know a thing about him either. So instead of turning away did I lean on back in, readying my own sort of deal. 

"Wanna make a deal then?" He flicked his now lit cigarette as appose to smoking more of his stock and turned to me now, eyes in full readiness at my thought process. "What kinda deal?" Quick to respond before allowing the cigarette back to his lips.

"I'll answer your question if you answer mine." He shrugged, flicking the ash down to the gutters before nodding. Letting out a deep husky remark of 

"Deal."I nodded, assuming he wants to know the same question as his use. But in my mind was I already thinking of multiple wonders about my friend beside me. Before I could even begin to open my mouth, did he flick his cigarette away and start getting on up. "Better get inside soon, figure out a game plan...I still want that answer." 

Him helping me to my feet, as he gave a stern reminder of what I owed him. Nodding did he lead the way on back, careful due to the lack of light. And in this moment did I just continue my response. 

"Do friends count as family?" I asked, he turned back to the window in reach. Trying to understand what I was trying to say in that sort of idea, until he shook his head. "Then no...I don't have family in Connecticut." That's when he turned on fully back, leading me closer to the window but I allowed him in first. Easier that way anyway. "How do-"

"We doing more than one question?"

"Yeah, cause you're bein' fucking broad." He was in my room, and as I hosted myself up and over did I manage to get right on without any difficulties. "You lived on your own? Or family friends or somethin' like that?" I shook my head again, turning to shut the window and not allow any more cold air in here than need be."Wanna explain that?" 

"Foster care." His mouth parted a bit away from one another, closing and opening again and again as if he was trying to say but couldn't manage to find his voice. So I smiled and shook my head, trying to tell him it was alright in my own silent way. "Fuck Blake, I've been buggin' you about this...I'm sorry. Fuck." He swore as silently as ever, turning away and I just sat down in my desk chair looking up to him as he ran his hand through his hair.

Beating himself up at the thought, he was curious and I get that. I think I told Shawn about this, more or less so.This was just different. Just a little more detail"Shit ya don't have to answer anythin' more if ya don't want to Blake, I understand if-" 

"Do you have a girlfriend?" Him stopping in his tracks of pacing as he turned to me had me in a mess of confusion, but then I felt the vibration of my throat. Knowing full well that I spoke just now.It was just the added mixture of me trying to figure out what I said in order to figure out why he had such an evil looking grin turning upwards on his face...Until it hit me, over and over again did it ring in my ear.

Do you have a girlfriend?


	20. -GiftIdea-

Do you have a girlfriend?

As I put my hands before me, mimicking his surrender motion from early before did he just right before me. His smile never leaving his appearance. "Can I ask ya another question?" Him towering over me as I leaned on back in order to look up to his eyes did I nod, still confused as all hell in why I asked what I did.

"Can I kiss ya?" He whispered, and at that moment. Did I find something in his eyes that I never saw, lust I had managed to make him slip before. 

But this was something else, this was a sort of fear. Fear of denial.

But instead of torturing him any further, did I just give him one sole nod as he leaned on down to kiss me. 

At first was it a peck, until he began to slowly drag it on out as his facial hair began to scratch up against my cheek. His lips had the lingering taste of weed that was only adding to the addiction that I craved so heavily.

Having my hands caress his cheeks to draw him in further, did he tease as he began to pull away. Almost making me follow as I wanted the kiss to continue, and in doing so did his hands hold me up at the waist. Leading me towards a different direction that I would have planned.

My mind was a mess, everything about him was rapid. The soft texture of his lips just crushing up against mine, the added amount of our breathing filling up my room in comparison to the blasting of music downstairs. 

Nobody would be able to hear us if we...

That is when my own body seemed to be connected to a different mind, as I had sat down on the bed for him to follow. And then, and only then, did his body begin to tense up the smallest bit. 

The taste of weed never felt this good than on his lips, even the scent of woods and rain threw my brain into a spiral out of control, making my body crave it and something more...Much more.

His hands that were placed on my rocking hips now found their way past. Down towards my inner thigh as he pushed on through, making my back touch the bed as he pinned me on down. 

Just the idea of what could happen next render through my mind, then I began to worry. Especially when his heated kisses began to find their way past my lips and down my neck, even more so between the likes of my chest. Nipping a trail like he couldn't get enough.

But like most situations...did a knock have to ruin it. 

Jumping up did he follow in the same purist, as we stared in fear at the door. But it was locked, got forbid one of us had forgotten to close it. "Blake! Blake, I know you're in here. Jerry told me you came home!" As I began to swear over and over again as I cleared my bed off of the stockpile Daryl had brought, did he soon help me. Taking the bag and ever so calmly. 

Place it under my desk like it has always been there.

Fixing my shirt so it looks to be unmeshed with, fixing my hair as I looked on back to him for the vote of confidence that I needed to answer the door.

Did I see my brother, beer in hand and his free arm resting at the beginning border of the thresh hold. As his eyes landed on me until they darted onto Daryl behind me, that's when I knew it was over.

"Hell you two doing up here?" He asked, clearly on some sort of beer count. And I could use that to my advantage, more so than we could have realized. "We...We were just coming down, weren't we?" I looked behind me, and my friend began to make up some lie before Jarod questioned something about drugs. "Louis flaked, got anything good?...Don't lie to me man..." The way my brother slurred out the sentence had me double take the situation, there was no need for me to even threaten him. He is asking himself for the products, so I just nodded to Daryl to grab the bag as they discussed what we had. So as they continued to talk, I went on into my closet trying to make due with my own outfit.

"Saved the party bro, sorry I've been so hard on ya man. Never had a little sister before, it's weird." I chuckled once more, even Jarrod's way of speaking had changed from always demanding to sort of calm. After hearing the door close was I content on talking about what the hell happened, and as did Daryl assuming he looked on into the small walk-in closet that I was currently changing in.

Mid shirt change.

"I like ya brother drunk than sober, can't say that about some people." Fixing my shirt did I just walk on past him, trying to find my jacket that had to be around here somewhere. Trying not to look at him in the eyes was a task I don't think I can manage any more than I am right now, even more so when I passed him again and he gripped my wrist.

Pulling me back to him to talk. "Ya good?" He asked, I realized how blue balls can affect some men like that, probably killing him right now. But I wasn't about to get laid at a party at a moment like this.

Not today anyway.

"You good?" I teased, grabbing the jacket off the chair in the closet and pulling it over my arms as I went back to the bag. Fixing my hair to be free from the jacket that suppressed it to my back. But to be honest, I think it was just fun to mess with the man behind me as I counted up how much stock I'd be putting in my jacket. "Never answered my question." Smirking back at him as if I didn't know it already.

His counter-attack to it was his arms trying to glide their way down my thighs once more, as the crease of my neck opened, he took the opportunity to finish what he started. And although my hand had pushed him to the task, we had a game plan to continue.

"Daryl...We have a job to do..." A moan escaped my lips before I could even dictate otherwise, making him continue on the said spot. He had found my weakness, sure enough, letting out yet another moan deep from my throat did he just vibrate a growl.

Until I finally came to a confession that I didn't want to go any farther with my mind not currently in the right place at the moment. So as I moved my neck farther away, did he rise to see what had happened, making me plant one last peck on his soft lips.

Before pulling away once more.

"You coming?" I laughed, opening the door to allow the trample of music to rush through the compacted room. He grabbed the decent amount of shit before hiding it within the bag beside the desk once more, leading me down to the end of the hallway before bringing his lips to my ear. "I'll start at one end, ya the other. Meet in the middle." Nodding did he wink in approval as we made our way down the stairs. Breaking off in the center was the obvious choice until I came across the given few kids who didn't look like they were having a good time. So going off to the small table who were pouring drinks did I make myself look like a partier, and not just the average seller.

"Some party huh?" I yelled, and the guy just sipped his drink in agreement. So I leaned on in, taking out the small joint and holding it behind me so he could get a clear look. 

Turning my gaze so subtlety to him now did he get the hint, taking the cup back to his mouth as he began to say, "How much?" I chuckled, giving him a silent smirk did he sigh. The life of the party would go in a haze for him if he just wished this much, and so he took out a cool ten dollar bill.

He placed it into my hand and took his now earned property as I just simply placed the cash into my bra, all while looking to see if anyone was taking notice. "Thanks, needed this one." I chuckled, taking another sip of this beer before nodding to him once more. "Know anyone else that needs something, I'll be walking around." The way his eyes widened it seemed like he was prepared to get me a whole lot of customers, and in that instance did he go off to the far side of the room to the given guy friends.

All pointing to me now as I just slowly walked on over towards a group of girls. "Ladies...Ladies, I can't be a proper hostess if you are all sitting around not enjoying yourselves." They looked beyond bored, in fact, I felt bad that their boyfriends left them to go drink and do whatever the hell they do. The basement was clearly the next place I was ready to go into, but for now. All their desperate wide eyes searched for, is enjoyment. 

Holding out the pre-rolled joint, did I wave it around and they all looked to one another to another silent agreement. As the one in the fish braid took a reach for her wallet, another took out the quick ten, and the added five. So I took on out the other within the lining of my jacket to prepare for it.

Winking as I counted the money and placed it with the other ten, did I find myself making more than a few laps around. Saluting off to Daryl now and again as we crossed paths, but it wasn't even that more or less. 

Once the word got out that we were selling dabs as well, shit surely hit the fan. 

I've waitressed before, and at the bar when people leave tips at the table do I stuff it in my bra when my apron is blocked by the tray. But never have I had this much money in appose to selling.

Maybe it was me doing this before, never at a party. I'd transfer the word from my friend to another, a little cut for myself and a delivering fee. But in all honesty, I felt bad taking his money right now. Back then I needed it, now I don't.

"Alright, I'm callin' it." Him and I retreated to the steps, the life of the party was won and brought. Everyone was up and moving, living loose. Even the DJ managed to sneak a few during his playlist additive. 

Looking to him as he sat a bit above me on the steps did I smile. Reaching into my bra to hold up the bundle of money within my grasp did he stand up quickly to count it all. Scoffing the entire time whenever he hit the hundred. "How the hell-"   
"You act like I've never done this before." Rolling my eyes as I let my mind replenish with the giving chugs of beer. "I might have to take ya around more often." Chuckling at his offer did I just lean back into the steps, watching our sell-out unfold right before us. It was odd to think more than a few people to ask us for some, and we had to reply with 'no, we don't have anymore.' How odd is that? A slight tap on my thigh did I look down to Daryl, we were just guarding the bedroom. Signs vs high people never do well in regards to the terms of sex, nothing does.

And to be honest, I rather be out here than in my bedroom alone with him right now. Not knowing what I'm feeling right now isn't as scary as starting to depend on someone, I've barely started trusting the family that enclosed around me.

Let alone this shit.

"Comeon. I made you a deal, let's get going." My eyebrows scrunched as rose to his feet, slightly scoffing into the air did I forget what the deal was. And if he hadn't brought it up, I wouldn't have known. "Bike ride? Unless ya feelin' good enough with the-" Me getting up to my feet, leaning in to whisper the clear words of 'let me get my coat,' was all he needed to smile and nod.

We're leaving the party, hell I live here and I know for a fact that this isn't going to be the heaven place to sleep. Not when mom isn't coming home until Monday night and the clean up is going to be shitty.

How did he expect me to not see this? How dumb could he actually be.

Grabbing my wallet and phone, sliding them both into my jacket. Did I feel the slight boney shape in my pocket as well, chuckling at the thought of the last time I wore this jacket...

It had my sisterhood's knife inside, but anything that was too sentimental did I just continue the walk-off downstairs. And in that regard did Daryl lead through the maze of people shoved together in the confinement of my house, but even then did the Christmas lights outside on the porch at the to the entire scenery of people smoking outside.

Continuing down the stairs to follow in pursuit of Daryl, did I see he hid his bike behind the barn. I should have given him a key if I knew this was going to happen.

So instead did I just follow him to the bike, he got on but before I could even think to prop my leg on up, his voice began to pierce through the blank cold air. "Nuh uh, not without no helmet." I sighed into the air, his bike, his rules. 

But I will be damned if I don't return the favor next time he persuades me to make a deal. Going to open the barn up did I look back and think of a question. "How's your brother think of you taking the bike?" Stepping through to grab it on the seat before returning on back, locking it once more did he just shake his head.   
"Told him it was a good party, that and the truck wasn't running' too well." He spoke so calmly for someone high and full of narcotics, but all the good kind. Nothing I don't approve of. "Is he going to be surprised?" The laughter of him allowing me onto the back of his bike, and barely a second well spent on it. Did he lean on back to pull my arms around him. "Is he gonna be surprised?...Hell, I'm surprised, never do that good at no jock party. But those boys have somethin' to celebrate." Hiding my frown did I completely forget about the damn championship, they made it to the state's championship and will be playing against some neighboring state in hopes of winning.

Can't believe didn't get the hints, they were all around me. I just had to find them all...

"Where to?" He said, letting the engine roar in hopes of making me jealous. And that he has, especially when I leaned in closer to his ear so he can hear me. "Anywhere." In that moment did he take off, full speed to the road, the wind might be hitting my face or anywhere near it. But the rush of a new bike has never failed to earn a spot in my heart.

Almost like Daryl was trying to achieve, if that is the case.

We were miles from home or my own home at least. And me not knowing the area was easier said than done, he seemed to know where he was going. In that mindset did I continue to sit tight, awaiting his ever wanted location to finally show itself. Until he began to drive on dirt road.   
"You're not bringing out here to kill me are you?" His laugh crying out, and I can just picture his white teeth showing, glistening with his squinting eyes at my joke. 

"Don't tell me ya scared Blake?!" In reality, I was scared, scared of so many things that I can't even address, but as of right now I just held onto him tighter.

*

We soon arrived at the sight he claimed to be, and the only reason I knew it is because he stopped the bike. Almost abruptly I might add, as I began to get on off under the only street lamp available in this part of the woods, did I try and reason with myself that he wasn't going to kill me.

But with all that said and done, him shoving something in his back did I think more and more about it. Doing a double take to see if my knife was in there. "Don't know what's out here...Better safe than sorry." He said it so calmly that I still couldn't make out if he was lying or not, so instead of asking a question or moving out ahead. I waited for him, looking around as if I knew what was going to happen.

I didn't. Not one single bit of me knew what to do.

His hand interlocked with mine as he leads the way towards the water, but in the back of my mind was it burning to question the gun. "You always carry one?" He was almost at ease walking in the dark, and if I didn't struggle with every different ground elevation and his leading the way then perhaps I would have tripped moment ago. "Deal with a lotta assholes. Comes a time when ya need it...Why? Ain't a fan of guns?" We stopped, clear of the underbrush to see the beginning portion of the water, until my eyes trailed up to the see the moon reflecting down to the water.

Still as could be, did I smile at the view, all the animals creating a beautiful and rthymic sound to cast with the picture implanted in my mind. "Like you said...Better safe than sorry." I mumbled, removing my hold off of him to lay on down to the ground. My elbow just resting below my head as I stared up to the stars. Reminding me far too much of the bonfire that happened a few months ago. 

The cold dampness of the ground soon began to warm up as soon as my body heat touched it, and especially gave way once Daryl wrapped his arm around me. "I don't got a girlfriend...Ain't seen no one like that 'fore." Beginning to shake my head was a mistake, for I forgot his arm was around me. Knowing full well what my reaction was...I'm sort in awe at the fact that no one sparked any interest to him.

These are all the signs of him just wanting to hook up, I want to know before my heart is broken by the truth later on. "You're not like your brother." He chuckled, fairly quickly at the thought. The mere image of him acting anything like his brother made my stomach turn inside out, Daryl was different than Merle. I knew that before I saw him, he was kinder, more gentle.

"Nah he's...He's an asshole...I'm just...Daryl." The slurring of his speech just widened the range, he wasn't as drunk as before, but enough to smell the pure aroma as he spoke. And I can only dream of what it tasted like...

"So...Daryl...How about we do this again sometime?" In one movement did I rise to sit up, lifting my leg up and over his waist as I straddled him. Leaning in do I finish my request, and the moment his hands gripped around my waist. Rocking me back and forth insinuating something more.

His dry humping continued, and as much as it turned me on. This wasn't the time or place to do it, but I couldn't help but continue to tease him. Allowing him to get the sensation but in a moments notice will I end it.

Only the clear idea of making worse as I found the crook of his neck appetizing to say the least, nipping the skin to make an obvious mark. And the only reason I had stopped was the noise he had created.

Just like he had done for me, I found his weak spot.

Like any guy, they can't control their head in this sort of situation, and in due time has he lost the battle. For I was not going to give in tonight or anytime in the near future. "Teasin' me ain't gonna get us nowhere." He grumbled beneath me, and as undermining as I wish to tell him how I truly felt about this situation. 

It would ruin the mood.

How awful would it be to just come out in this moment and say, 'I can't, I'm a virgin.' Him squirming under me as his growth began to itch further under me did I smile in retaliation.   
"Not today..." I whisper ever so lightly, perhaps he heard me or not. The reality of this is, I survived this long without a relationship, I can wait for my life to clear on around as well.

"When?" He groaned once more, him stopping all other actions to come to a conclusive ending. Made me lie, how else would I? "Depends."   
"Depends on what?" He blurted out his comeback with ease, as much as it pained him to not do whatever it was he wanted to do me in his head. I couldn't allow it, at the edge of a body of water. The temperature only dropping, and however late it was. Everything on top of the fact that I feel like I don't know him as much as my brother claims I do.

"If you've been naughty...Or if you've been nice." His rusty chuckle came through the mix, as he began to compose himself enough to start up once more. Just rocking my body downwards, and the only method I had as his manhood just continued to crawl through the situation. 

I rubbed my arms over his chest, humming to see his lustful eyes try to persuade me even further. "I've been naughty aight...Ya too, comin' out here with me." Giving him a wink that I doubt he could even see, but the reaction of his head just sigh backward as he knew that no matter what he did, this wouldn't work.   
"Got someone in Connecticut I gotta worry 'bout?" Shaking my head as I just stood upright, looking around trying to identify the surrounding trees as my eyes strained to see just Daryl himself.

"Ain't no one here Blake...We go swimin' in the summer when it gets real warm, right on over there. Rigid up a tire swing." I glanced over in amusement as he too pushed himself to whisper nice in low, alluring me to what could have happened. Even if the way of speaking was undermining everything there was on this trip...

I couldn't allow myself to think anything more than what summer will be like here. "And I thought moving to Georgia was going to be bad..." He chuckled one last before trying to get out of my hold, so I just leaned away. Allowing him to stand up and look past the lake, probably trying to find the area. 

In doing so had he dropped the pistol, gripping it into my hand did I feel the weight of the loaded gun pull me down. Following him on my feet know did I make sure the gun had the safety on before walking towards him now.

But the only thing he was interested in was smoking at the moment, so I managed to do the same thing as he did. Just stuff it in the back of my pants and hope it doesn't fire while down there. "Aren't you cold? Where's your jacket?" Hearing the crackling of his smoke and flicking the remains into the water did he respond after his immediate reaction.   
"Accident tore my jacket all on up. Tryin' to get Merle out of the slammer so much, takin' out of my savin's for a new on." Nodding in regard, did I now find the perfect gift for him.

A leather jacket.


	21. -Christmas-

It was 4 am when we started driving home, and I had to force myself to stay awake as he rode us both home. And I don't remember much of anything since then, right now I just felt a large headache beginning to emerge as I started to wake up.

Forgetting to close the blinds was my mistake, one I'll sorely admit to. But the warmness I felt crowding my bed was enough to have me move closer to it. And in doing so did I earn a faithful moan, not from myself. 

But by whoever was in my bed.

"Mornin'" He whispered, and my smile failed to falter as I just opened one eye to him and the other in my pillow as I was unsure of how far away he was. But here he was, just the other pillow away in appose to the same. "Morning," I mumbled, bringing my arm up and over to rub it awake. 

Rising to sit on up, did I feel the bareness of my skin being open to the cool air of my room. No longer under the blankets did I look on around the room to see the number of clothes we dropped on the floor. 

Me being in a bra and underwear was not a sight I managed to understand just yet. "Did we..." Turning back towards him, did I not allow myself to finish the sentence. Especially as he began to laugh, quiet a bit for me to feel this odd sinking in the middle of my chest. Like my heart just stopped.

...We couldn't have...

"Ya a fuckin' tease Blake...but we didn't do nothin'." I sighed in my hands, chuckling as he gave me the honest scare of actually doing something without any prior knowledge of, and instead of talking about it further. I just slapped his thigh in anger at his pauses throughout his explanation.

Removing the sheets from my side to be allowed off the bed and towards my closet, with the hustle at the fact that I was only wearing a thong. And I rather not make this even more unbearable for Daryl as is already. "What's the plan for today?" Trying to pull my jeans, doing the funny dance did I chuckle. Grabbing the v-neck t-shirt before opening the door once more, all while maneuvering my arms through the holes. "I have work today..." I sighed, combining the air with his as well. 

"Bar or restaurant?" He asked, and I crawled back onto the bed, meeting him in the center so our faces were just a few inches away before I responded with a smile. "The non-illegal one." Giving him a peck on the lips, he only responded as I was in the midst of pulling away.

I don't plan on starting something I can't finish now.

"We needa get ya a fake ID." His demand came out of nowhere, and instead of responding with 'no' or anything valid like that, I moved towards the backpack I made it to the airport with. 

Throwing him the one I used back home. "Best be shittin' me...Why ya ain't usin' this one? Looks fuckin' real to me." He flicked it with his single finger, testing the durability of it. It better look real, I spent a lot of money on it. And the guy ripped me off more than a few times, couldn't let him just leave without giving me what I need.

"Aight...I should get goin' then. Merle's gonna be real happy when he finds out about the profit we made." Smiling as he grabbed his flannel off the floor, meeting me at the head of the bed. "I'll walk with you." 

*

It's been another three weeks since my brother party, and we were far into the holiday sprite. Mickey's wearing festive gear, all day every day. Getting the fake Christmas tree into the living room, hanging the lights and all this and that was fun and all.

But it reminded me of how much I missed out as a child. I got upset and removed myself from the situation, only to have Jarod scold me for making mom cry. It was a whole mess of miscommunication that he soon understood as this was the first Christmas I ever spent with my real family, with presents and all.

I didn't want to cry. I hate crying. But sometimes it allows me to express how I feel without saying it, and in this equation, I needed it so very badly.

And when I was upset about it all, I found myself wrapping up Daryl's present. It was obvious that it sounded like him and his brother was more or less alone in the house, so the thought of anyone not being able to get gifts on a holiday was strange.

It was Christmas Eve, and as we had family over. They managed to stay in a hotel rather than sleeping with us, found it far too crowded with one a small guest bedroom that was converted into Michael's study for work purposes. Everyone still had hope that he'd be coming to make it. It's going to break my mother's heart and I can only hope for him to return, even if it's late morning.

It will be enough.

Currently, as I was waiting for the clock to strike midnight. I was hoping Daryl would come like he promised. He had another 'family matter' to deal with, but this time he warned me. Much in advance this time around, that and because he seemed excited about the news years party. Him along with myself included, I said a farewell to the both of them as Merle made of fun of his little brother the entire time of me being there.

Helping them pack the truck full of gear, sad to see them go. Especially for so long, but I just wanted him home, safe. 

With so much time away, it was the perfect chance to think. Especially now that everything seems to be falling into place, I like Daryl. More than that, he's the only constant I have for me at the moment, my first real friend. 

But even then was I scared to tell him a few things about myself.   
My name.  
The scars on my back. 

The only reason he didn't see them was that of my hair blocking the main one. All evidence that authorities managed to take pictures of, enhancing. And yet...

The asshole isn't fully sentenced yet.

Granted he is a sneaking son of a bitch, making it more than difficult to convict him of anything in terms. It's just him getting caught with drugs that are making the authorities look into the situation all the bit better.

That was why my mother was unable to get me, that and with Michael not being around as much to be considered a real parent in the eyes of the law. But in the pure humor of it all, I was just a few months away from being legal. February was just a few months away, but the phone call my mother gave me was far too much for me not to take the opportunity. This normal life would have never worked out well for me, I became who I am. And I wish to allow this to enforce me to do the same to others.

However I see fit.

It was then that the regular roaring of a bike sounded out, no matter how many times I wonder how he gets his brother to let him borrow the bike. Whatever the deal was, I was happy enough for it. Especially when I opened my window far enough so that I can manage my way down, the present in my sweater's pocket. I probably look like hell, but it was a long few hours of conversation and feasting with people I hardly know. Everyone from my brother and step dad's side of the family. And more so there for Mickey than anyone else. Them trying to make conversation with me was horrendous, 'we forgot a gift,' all this and that. And to be honest, I felt sort of hurt in the sense of it all.

Until the continuing smile kept beaming on my face as I made my way to the barn where he parked, the small click of the bike's stand sounded. And before long, the small effort of him jogging over towards me was enough to have my arms spread on open for him. 

Picking me up off the ground for one quick sway did I let out a small giggle. I never expected him to do that sort of thing. Not in a million years. 

"It's so good to see ya Blake, ya have no idea." Holding his head over my shoulder, my hand just itching at the back of his neck. Before long we leaned away from one another. "Merle being a hardass?" 

"Ain't he always...But it's different out there. We get along better there than here." I nodded as if I understood, but in reality, I didn't. Not in the least bit, never been the woodsy type. Or perhaps I would be if I had a good moment and teacher. 

"Any plans for Christmas?" I chuckled, letting my head fall onto his chest in defeat. 

"My stepdad's parents are in town...Isn't the best reminder for my mom how much they disapprove of her." That's when he led me into the barn, switching on the Christmas lights I strung up with him. Given the fact the last three nights we stayed up talking in here, it was sort of sweet. It was also due to the fact that he and his dad got into a fight, and he didn't want to be home. 

I understand that indefinitely. 

"Whatcha got on ya?" He joked, making a grab for my back where I managed to stuff the gift behind me as I made my way down the roof. The only place I managed to secure it, and surprising how he didn't notice it during the hug.

Placing one hand up did I reach for it, pulling up the wrapping paper to see his eyes light up. His wide smile visibly showed teeth to the extent as he began to huff and puff.   
"Ya didn't have to-" Holding it out for him did I pull out my phone. Chuckling the littlest bit.   
"Do you think you wait the two minutes to open it?" 

"I didn't get anythin' for-" Again did I stop him as he took the present ever so gently from my hands. "This...This is just for being the first person I can rely on...Here." No matter what I said, he refused to let his smile down. He soon took a seat on the metal stool, just looking straight at it. One last time, I looked at my phone and I just nodded to him.

And in one firm grip of the paper did he unwrap it, taking the bundles into his hand as he uncovered the leather jacket I picked on out for him. And on the back was a pair of angel wings, sown on as a style that I think suited him far better than a normal one would have.

He laid it on his lap before getting up, taking the long strides over towards me. For whatever reason or another, I thought he looked mad. Or even upset.   
"Before you say anything, you needed a jacket and I couldn't just..." He stopped me this time, without any warning to bring me into a hug. 

Sighing into my shoulder now.

The empathy in me felt the aura of sadness, and I didn't want to push whatever I had triggered upon him. "I don't remember the last time someone gave me a gift..." He whispered, cutting out almost every other word as if he was...No...He couldn't be crying, I won't allow myself to think that. 

But when he pulled on away, and the pure glossy coat over his eyes surely gave me the sign. "Your brother's already teasing you about being soft Dixon, come on," I said, shaking my head. His reaction was nothing I could have dreamed of happening, him saying what he did. Makes me realize how much we related.

Back at the girls home, I would try my best into finding gifts for everyone. The extra nights I worked at to give a few more cents at the dollar store. The small teddy bears were the big ticket item, but even then did everyone just love the small effort I gave to them. 

Just like now. For Daryl.

His walls were tumbling, crashing down now. Yet I still have a mote guarding mine...

"You going to try it on or should I bring it back?" I questioned, leaving him with the wrapping paper to place on his stool. And in that instant did he pull his arms through the sleeves for a nice fit, as my hands trailed up to fix the collar. 

It looked great on him. It looked like Daryl Dixon.

"Think ya can take a drive with me, test it out?" He winked, pouting my lip did I torture him with the honest look of thought. Until I nodded. "I can't stay out late this time, have to wake up tomorrow." He let his hands' reign free, issuing a clear 'calm down' notion that he didn't want to say out loud before we head off back to his brother's bike. 

"Forgot to ask, how'd hunting go?" The sound of his stand kicking upwards, and the silent vibration of us going down my driveway. Did my hands interlock to one another, making sure I wouldn't slip. 

This was the first time I've gone riding without my jacket on or helmet for that matter. He was so excited that he completely forgot to warn me about the dangers of me not having it on. Yet he's the one who drove without jacket when he ruined his other one by rolling off. "Pretty good. Made a two grand."   
"The hell did you get?"   
"Few deers, cougar caught up with us...Great skin sale if ya ask me." 

I assume two grand is the normal amount, especially selling to a butcher who needs extra fresh meat near the holidays. "How does it feel?! Not riding in the cold anymore?!" I yelled, seeing the beginning portion of his eyes turn to me as I kept my eyes pierced to the yellow line before me. Only illuminating due to the bike's light.

"Fuckin' great. But no more gifts, aight?" 

"But it's Christmas!" I tried to sound like a child, and I earned a laugh for my attempt. However, yelling right beside his earn would have earned me a glare. And I've been used to them now, especially when I tease him the way I have been.

We were just cruising around town as he got a feel for his new jacket, but I tapped him on the shoulder trying to tell him that I should be headed home. And he had got the message, especially when he took the backroads rounding towards my house.

Ever so quietly did his bike motor just pierce through the quiet air around, and the only notion I could think of. Why is my houses lights on?

"Got somethin' goin' on here? Who's car is that?" His ability to see in the darkness was a blessing, but a curse for me because I could never understand what the hell he was talking about. Until the moment came, and for a moment the light is shown. And as I began to understand what was happening, I couldn't get off the bike fast enough to just stand there out in the open and reveal that...

Michael was actually home. 

"He's home..." I mumbled, and I couldn't help but smirk already seeing Daryl posing beside me with his new found jacket. "You should get goin', don't want ya to get in no trouble." I nodded, coming before him as I tugged the jacket to fit a bit better on his body. Making him chuckle the entire time of me doing so. 

"Don't get into any more accidents. This one looks good on you." As my warning finished, my hands ended up back on his front chest. "Yes ma'am." Chuckling down into it as I stepped on away. "Merry Christmas Dixon." 

"Merry Christmas Blake...Whoawhoawhoa." 

I had moved away too soon as he pulled me on back towards him, removing the bangs out of my face as he leaned on down for a kiss. Having my hands just cup his cheeks to make the kiss as long as could before he had his head rest at the forefront of my own.

Making me smile ever so brightly.

"See ya soon Blake, and be careful...Don't need ya fallin' down the roof." Letting my pitcher fingers just shake his chin as I started walking on off. He was nice enough to lock my barn and turn off the light for me, easier said than done because it looked odd considering my stepdad probably saw it and checked it out.

Pulling myself up and onto the roof was the easy part, the hard part was trying not fall on back into the window. And with a sturdy grip did I find myself able to do it, quiet as well. Considering I took my boots off before getting into the creakiest floor in the world, right beside my desk. 

Like it was purposefully done.


	22. -ADisastorOfADinner-

I had an alarm set because I wanted to look decent this time around. Since my stepdad's parents were here and I already made an effort yesterday. I decided to do my hair at the vanity table in the corner of my room, all while trying to invert the attention to what will happen today.

The door held a quick two knocks, so I ran on over. Yelling the phrase: "Coming," As I placed down the mascara in my hand to go off an open it. But I did not find myself unsurprised at the smile on his face as he saw me, Michael's cheery white smile burst as we shared the same reaction. "Merry Christmas Blake," But instead of doing anything more, I had to pull him in for a hug.

"I'm so glad you're alright..." I mumbled into his dress shirt, angling myself not to transfer any makeup. But in reality, he was very kind in responding to my letters, emails and phone calls.

Just worried that he wouldn't come home and we wouldn't have much of an opportunity into doing the things my mother claimed we would be. It felt right, to have him hold me. And I'll admit, I think I was just excited to finally have a stable father figure in my life who wasn't a complete drunk or asshole.   
Or even a sideman who didn't bat an eyelash towards me when I was walking around in his own home.

"Mom wanted to know if you're up." Pulling away from the hug, did I just tell him a few more minutes before I was fully ready. And normally I wasn't into too much color, but today I decided to wear normal jeans and a red v-neck to come downstairs too.

But my mistake was not asking for coffee before making my way down the stairs, for my mother was making a mess of the kitchen not even noticing me walk in until Michael cleared his voice. "Goodmorning sweetie, Merry Christmas!" She screamed through the room, only mixing and reading a few things all at once. Making me look up to the man beside me as he just chuckled.

"My mother and her...Don't always get along..." I did a silent 'ahh,' as I went to the coffee machine to pour myself a mug, only to see Jarod now at the island overlooking the cationic mess that was Christmas. Even with the mug inches to my lips, I placed it before him as I went to get another glass. He needed it more than me, for whatever reason he was tired and I was not. Become the mystery I wished to solve. "When everything is in the oven, Jaclyn and Al are coming over. Then presents!" She clapped her hands to show how excited she really was, but I wasn't getting the enitre vibe just yet.

I tried to help her, but she wouldn't allow me to pick up a damn spoon. Claiming it's my first Christmas with the family and she wants me to relax. In truth, I think she is just getting overwhelmed with the fact that Michael is back, that I'm here and that Mikey is going to be the grand center of attention once his grandparents come.

"What did gramps get you this year son?" I overheard, and in that moment I knew it was time to leave the room for a quick minute. Just a breather. "I need to go get my gifts and put them under the tree, I completely forgot." Was all I could muster as I removed myself from the room. And the second I was up the stairs I managed to breathe, in and out until I made it to my room.

The four wrapped gift made their way with me down the stairs and right under the large Christmas tree. Trying to place them with the right names and all that, but seeing little Mikey with the one toy he opened last night from his grandparents. I sat down with him. He was quick to say my nickname, and as cute as he was. I had to remember this was his day, that I wasn't a child. Hell, I was never a child. It's hard to remember that one out of the rest.   
I was seated for a good five minutes with little Mickey as he babbled on and on in his little elf get up, running around the room. And as everyone talked in the kitchen, preparing. I was watching the kid, out of everything that could have happened...The door bell ringed. "Aurora, could you get that?!" I heard from the kitchen, and instead of being rude and telling Jarod to do it. I picked up Mickey, who was pointing at the door already.

"Come on, let's see who it is..." I whispered into his ear as I held him onto my side. Opening the door wide enough to the let them come in, their hands cluttered with gifts in their hands.

And immediately I was out of my own body, I don't remember what happened. But as I stand in the room just singled out as everyone greeted one another, I found myself just walking into the kitchen once more. 

My hands gripping the counter before the sink did I try and figure out how to suppress any and all feelings. The need for acceptance was something I thought I was over, clearly, these people are the cause of it. And I don't think I can suffer another meal with them, not again...

"Aurora...Sweetie? Are you alright?" The voice matched the person I thought who would notice, mom stood there whipping her hands with a dish towel as she looked at me. But the second her hand touched my shoulder, I flinched away. "I'm fine..." I said, walking off towards the downstairs bathroom in a hurry as I passed by each and every person with wide eyes staring me down. "Blake...?" My brother whispered, but even that didn't slow me down to the safe haven of the bathroom, locked the door and standing with my back against it in hopes of feeling any relief dwindled as the voices soon started up once more. 

This was worse than adoption day, where couples would interview the children to see if they were comparable, but it was never me in those meetings. I was always the one hiding in the bathroom wondering which one of my sisters would be chosen to go off and be with a family, the reason I was never with them. It's because I was still deemed worthy enough to go back to custody with my mother. There isn't an ounce of me that blames her for that reason, but I wouldn't know how to act with someone who isn't my blood relative being pronounced my sole legal guardian for the rest of my life.

Fixing the sorry excuse for what my tears had done to my mascara, did I think I can make an escape to my bedroom. But once the company found their way into the dining room, I knew I would never make it.

I am not afraid.

I am not afraid.

I am not afraid.

Repeating it like a rhythm, breathing in and out after each sentence until I felt strong enough to continue with this damned holiday. Twisting the cold golden nob did I push them out to remove myself from the safety of this room, and if it wasn't enough that only the people house who lived here noticed me. 

Beside the grandparents that I was so opened into meeting yesterday, didn't even bother to revert their attention from their own kin. Even my mother, who went through the pregnancy of the baby went unnoticed in the corner of the kitchen...Much like yesterday, when they only talked to Jarod and Mickey.

Never dared look at me, barely a shake to greet.

Then the thought hit, as I was just sitting at the table relistening to the football stories my brother wanted to tell his ever so proud father and grandparents. Did the idea of what they knew about me and my past never came to mind until now. 

They must know something, more than Jarod if they are this judgmental about it. "Aurora?" I looked up, seeing my mother struggling behind my brother and so I went on off to help her once more. The silence and glares were better to be dealt with from behind, so they couldn't see my reaction in the front. 

"My my, keeping yourself entertained I hope...Better not let your mother do all the heavy lifting Aurora." My mouth gawked open to the frail old women who held my brother in her arms, the evil grin ever so lightly raising as she knew the effect. But even then, did Mikey jerk his open arms towards me as a sign of wanting to get away from the witch.

And I don't blame him.

But as I made a reach for him, she didn't allow it. I didn't like her yesterday, and now after she spits my name out in disgust. Did I grit my teeth and mutter the words, "It's Blake." Before looking back towards a load of dishes that were compiled from the cooking catastrophe.   
"I hope it stays that way then, no need to change your name to Holden...You'd only slaughter it." Was the last thing she spoke of before walking on off, and my scowl stayed put even after she left this section to go towards the living room.

What sort of process did she concoct, or what she meant by 'slaughter.' Whatever she was on, meds or drinking otherwise. I couldn't help but scoff in her general direction as I continued doing my task. Staying away from the chatter in the other room until there was not a speck of a chore left to be done.

And I was subjected to sitting in my jeans in the family room just relaxing with a cup of warm hot chocolate in hand, allowing everyone to talk around me. Staying silent, they didn't bother to know me, to look at me or anything in the sort.

The only confrontation was with me alone in the kitchen, until the snotty nose rose up once more, smiling every so brightly with her shitty excuse of red lipstick on her chapped lips.   
"Aurora dear, can you get me another cup of coffee?" I smiled, setting my mug down on the coaster as I took her glass and left the room. Only to hear Jarod pop up into the conversation as well, "Grams it's Blake." "Oh, that's right dearie silly me." As she continued to pass it off as a viable joke. But my mind couldn't get rid of that one word she spits towards me.

Slaughter.

Slaughter.

Slaughter a reputation? I know what a General's daughter is to uphold, and why should she even be concerned. There is but a single thing she knows about me and my well being, and if she did. Then there wouldn't be anything to be sorted in that little brain of her.

Placing it back down in front of her, she laughed at her joke before completely coming to a halt and saying "Took you long enough, get lost on your way to the kitchen from here?"

She tried to abide by the sheer laughter that was still going on, but nobody dared say a word as I took my spot back onto the recliner. I was uncomfortable, and I could say it a thousand times in my head. But I was just stuck in this moment and couldn't get out for the life of me.

Jacklyn continued to make the same mistake, again and again. Calling me by my first name, over and over. However dense a person might be, didn't compare to her sense of thought. Every little task she had me do for her, whether that passes the present to my brothers or parents. 

Or made the joke of me not getting her a gift, when reality, I didn't really have a clue who she was. And besides, I am considered the child.   
Yet she was too butthurt to say otherwise.

The success was that my family liked their gifts, Michael was content with his. My mother loved the earrings, and I issued my brother a challenge for a few of the games. Classics and favorites I've had over the years. 

But every time they smiled or talked to me, she would pitch up a story or say something. Distracting them from own gift, like I was somehow beating her in whatever game she was playing against me.

Only that couldn't be compared to the agony of sitting at the dinner table, setting everything down with my mother. Before presenting it to the family, did everyone take their seats. I for one took my seat beside my brother, but the scowl at the far end of the room as she made her way over towards me. Resting her shriveled hand on my shoulder to say:  
"Aurora, may I have your seat?" And I nodded, getting up and moving across to sit beside Michael. 

His apologetic eyes were the same everywhere I went, everyone's was. Even Al had the senesces of it, how rude his wife was being to me. And for what? But he continued to try and correct her as she just shrugged and got comfortable in her seat like nothing was wrong.

As the man beside me cut the ham and served everyone their portion of food, did I seat myself before we banded hands for grace, Al was quick to take my hand. But his wife did not agree in this slightest as she stuck her nose up in the air before bending her head down.

"Bless us, O Lord, and these your gifts, which we are about to receive from your bounty. Through Christ our Lord. Amen...Thank you, god for allowing me to have my family right beside me as we partake in this beautifully prepared meal. For allowing my second son to enjoy this day...And for Blake, for being brought into this family. Amen." I smiled down at myself as I mumbled the last word once more. But as I rose my head back up, did the women across from me just shoot daggers towards me.

Like I was wearing a target on my back.

And perhaps I was.

Whatever motive it was, she just hated every fiber of my being to the point of no return. And all I could do was just sit back and take it, as much as I wished to just sit her back into her seat for all the shit he put me through the past few hours of my life.

I stood quiet and to myself, even if every fiber of my being wished otherwise. "So Blake, how are you adjusting to-" His wife interrupted him before he could finish speaking, making all eyes shoot from one side of the table to the other. "Honey Aurora's fine. Look at how she has it now, luxurious home." I gulped one last time, having my eyes just stare down at the plate. As I spoke the famous words of today once more for her little mind to comprehend all the bit better. 

"It's Blake."At this point, I was suppressing all my anger once more. But the more I bottled it up, the more livid I will become when all this will go down, especially since my hand is shaking to the point of knocking on the wood underneath the table. And the only way that I settled it was to sit on it.

"I'm sorry dear, I thought I heard your mother calling you by-"   
"She's the only one I want saying my name." I barked back at her rude remark, as fragile as she tries to act out. I wasn't buying any of it. 

So being the shitty person I was, did I look back to her. Tilting my head in a challenge to see how far of an asshole she planned to be this Christmas day. "Why don't you like your name...'Aurora,' it's such a beautiful name...Blake is just...Well it's a boys name, it doesn't suit a women of the Holden family."

I was finished. I was done. Taking the cloth that sits on my lap this entire dinner, did I wipe the corners of my lips before rising from the table to excuse myself. "I can't-" It was my cracking moment, I panicked and I just continued down the hall. Through the living room to get to the stairs where I would be safe, but in the mist of being doing so. Did I stop to hear what she had to say...

"What sort of manners are you teaching your daughter? That was completely uncalled for, leaving the table like that. How disrespectful." The muffled addition was just a hollow reminder of how many times I've done this before, in other homes. Or even in this one when I wanted information I was too nervous asking about. 

Instead, my mother responded in my defense. "Well, if you talked to her at all today, then maybe you would get the hint that she doesn't like her name." I smiled as my mother defended me, but it only rose the heat in this already lit house.

"She isn't a good influence on Jarod or Mikey."  
"How could you even say that-"  
"Look at her, the scowl, the clothes, I don't like it." It was then Michael popped on in, just giving his mother a very grumble of a warning before she continued off like I was a criminal. Like I was a psychopath ready to kill them, and perhaps that is why they didn't want to sleep in the house.

But thank the heaven, because then I would have had to deal with them earlier this morning as well.

"She's a lost cause! The system didn't do her any good!"   
"She's my daughter!"  
"And you have a son and stepson to worry about now, not some-"That is when I stepped back into the room. Making her stop mid-sentence as she perched her lips to me now. Like she won a bet in full honor of it. But I shook my head.  
"You don't know a thing about me. I don't give a shit about your opinion, but I expected a lot more from you than I could have gotten."

I pointed my finger at her, and her eyes twitched. In that moment did I see her eyes gloss over, her fake tears soon covering her lashes. "You let her swear in this house?! Michael, I told you she wasn't worth your time."   
"What gives you the right to come into this house and talk about me and my mom like that?!" Her attention might have drifted to her son, but I couldn't handle it. The past four hours of literal hell were too much to bear, and not the bottle exploded.   
Leaving nothing to live in its wake.

"Don't you raise your voice at me, young lady, show some respect!" I laughed, louder than I expected. Making her frown in disapproval, but at this point no one in my family was stopping me in my pursuit of issuing her a lesson. 

Not one bit.

"Since you set foot in this house, you walked all over me like I was nothing. Whatever the issue is, spit it out so we could be done with it."   
"You're a bad influence on my grandchildren and the Holden name...I don't know what they taught you in that foster home in Connecticut. But damn right we should just send you back."  
My mouth gawked as she tried to level with me, but even in heels did this scrawny little women amount to half my size. In that moment, everything became clear.

"Mother, sit down."

"I will not sit down. Not until this filth is out of this home."

I chuckled one last time, pushing my face closer to her as she jolted back. "Tell me when you're over the threshold then." Was the last thing I muttered before going to my room, slamming the door to silence the yelling that persuaded to follow.

Michael was pissed.

My mother was pissed.

Even Jarod was in a box of confusion of what was happening.

As much as I composed myself downstairs, I couldn't help it. My mind went blank now as the tears slipped down my cheek without permission. And didn't stop, the commotion downstairs was all too real.

Too real of a reminder, especially my mother screaming at the top of her lungs trying to defend me. And in that moment, on top of letting my eyes burn the makeup off my lids. Did I feel the sensation on my back commence, the sheer number of times my mom fought my biological dad only to end in...a very sudden and very vivid image.

Rubbing my eye to smear the tears and black ink from my sockets, did I make my way towards my table to take it all off. And in doing so, did I change. I was done with the holiday spirit, done with everything to do with that side of the family.

I was just opening up to Michael, his first day back from deployment to spend time with us. And it was the in-laws that snuck up around the corner to surprise me of how much they hate me, thinking I'm a 'bad influence' or a 'lost cause'. 

Her taking one look at me does not justify anything, perhaps I am a bad influence. But Jarod is open to the same world I am, just not as large. 

With my eyes cleared of anything relating to tears or a reaction, did I sigh into the mirror. I did value her opinion not too long ago, but I should have guessed something was wrong. But right in this moment, I could not stand to be in the same house as her right now, instead. I grabbed my backpack, just the leftovers from the party that I hid under the floorboard. In the closest since it was recently redone, stuffing them in there along with my jacket in hand.

Throwing it over my shoulders and making a grab for my tall riding boots did I open my window, placing my bag down before throwing myself through the threshold.

I was free. The yelling was at a minimum, and soon it won't even be audible.


	23. -DaringRescue-

My door was locked and no doubt someone will try and reason with me into going back, instead. I threw the backpack over my shoulders and took the safer route in going down the ground level. Before running towards my bike, top speed.

Never before did I rush into getting my bike moving, but in that moment was I already readying the motor as I yanked down the helmet over my eyes. Ripping the contents of this barn's dirt floor to a maximum before pushing my foot up to solidity my escape.

And the first thing I did when I managed to get to the road was a scream in anger.

No sort of cars or people for miles, I don't know where I was taking myself.

Until I stopped at the empty dirt path.

I made it to the sight Daryl showed me and smirking to my subconscious for remembering the directions clearer than I could have managed if I wanted to come here. Funny how the mind does go into fight or flight mode even when I don't wish upon it.

I fought Jaclyn and yet she still managed to talk down to me, even when everyone around her thought otherwise.

With my bike parked and my backpack over my shoulders, do I make it through the underbrush. Just as I remembered from Daryl's guiding walk, the stumbles were normal considering I still have no clue if this even the right direction.

But as it grew lighter, and the sound of moving water came through. I chuckled the moment I cleared my view from the blocking bush.

I made it.

Dragging my feet to make it to the very last spot, was I just moments away from the clear relaxing air. Laying down with a bottle of vodka from my bag, and just my head resting in the grass.

All the time I prepared myself for the fucking holiday was wasted, I haven't run away in such a long time, and when I did back in the foster homes. It was to earn extra money for myself and the other people within the house.

They never cared enough to stop me, I was taking care of myself and they only provided the littlest bit of a meal and a roof over my head. Everything else came from my own work ethic, bikes, and whatnot.

"Cheers Kate...I miss you." I said, raising the bottle to my lips and chugging it down my throat. It was a need to get drunk rather than for a fun purpose, that and because it gives myself an excuse in not going home right away.

Drunk driving is never the answer.

With my throat burning, and my stomach warm. I hummed to the song of my phone constantly ringing, but by now I shut it off. Just wishing everything away like that, especially now that it's getting too dark for me to find my way back to my bike.

And even if I did, I wouldn't be able to drive back home. Not that I'd want to anyhow. 

I just wanted the sense of being alone, and here was the best place to do it. Just the added bonus of a drink and the odd amount of cigarettes I've already smoked through, but the weakness of me not standing up for myself any more than I already did isn't controllable.

Jacklyn might not have the power to kick me out of the family, but she can make my life a living hell.

It was in this second, did I hear a rustle within the bushes. At first, I came to ignore it, thinking it was a squirrel or anything in that category. But as the bushes made the parting nose, I slowly rose up. One hand leveling my body up from the ground as I held my knife in the air.

Guess the joy in this would be ruin someones smoking spot as well. I chuckled even more as I tightened the grip on my knife even more. "Who's there?!" Was all I could muster, losing my balance for a split second before regaining it to see the darkened figure pop on out. 

But I knew that rusty chuckle anywhere, so falling back down onto my ass did I just sit there. Caught no doubt. "The hell ya doin' Blake?!" Taking the top of my bottle did I rise it on up, making him just shake his head in disappointment. 

"I don't blame you...I ruined Christmas..." I mumbled, taking one last swing of the drink. In that moment did he sit down beside me, as my hand offered the drink he shook his head again. What shocked me more than I could even begin to think, how was he so judgmental at a time like this.

"How'd ya manage that?" I chuckled, finishing my last sip. Before muttering my response, "My fucking existence." Was all I slurred on out, but once he reached for the bottle. I made the pathetic grab for it, knowing full well he was taking it away from me.

"Was it full?" I hummed my response of a 'yes' making him let out a loud sigh.

Don't know what he knows, or why he's here...Yeah, that's a good question.

"You come out here for a walk...?" My eyes didn't blink simultaneously, not one bit. I felt each one feel heavier and heavier with each passing moment.

"Nah, Shawn gave ya brother my number...Told me he couldn't find ya...Ran away without tellin' nobody Blake." I released one solid cold laugh into the air to alone a puff comes from my lips, just showing how cold it truly was right now. "That's why it's called running away."  
He didn't shake his head this time, almost like he agreed to what I said in regards to it all. Better than sitting there all alone, and instead did he take the object in my hand. Unbinding my bent fingers to reveal my knife.

"Got yaself a nice one here..."   
"Thanks." Grabbing it back from his hold and stuffing it into my pocket. Rising up my knees to rest my head on them, looking into the distance now. The moon reflecting on the water, and as much as I wanted to throw a rock and diminish the sleep cycle of everything in there. I kept my arms wrapped around my knees instead, until his arm reach over my shoulder. Making me leave my steady position to fall on top of his chest, making me giggle at the feeling of his jacket.

"I like your jacket..." I whispered, stuffing my face to hide myself. I couldn't hide my laughter, it just came out and didn't see any sign of stopping. "Yeah...a pretty girl gave it to meh." 

As much as I tried to compose myself, my cheeks blushed to high heaven. Perhaps he couldn't see, but like everything else in these woods. He could see, especially when he fixing my position to lay my head onto his chest.

No longer looking to the moonlight and to his side, it was either head planted down or looking to him. "What happened in the Christmas of hell? Ya brother yelled on into the phone like I had ya." Mumbling an apology did I not respond to anything else in the sort, his body and his hold around me was so warm. In comparison to just the damp ground to lay against, this was better.

Much better.

"His grandparents think I'm a bad influence, didn't talk to me all day...And...Kept calling me something." My mind was racing, I wasn't going to tell him my name. Not today, I was drunk, but this want and need to keep it hidden was enough for me to have alarm blaring in the back of my head to shut up.

"Yeah, Jarod said it got pretty heated."   
"Grandma had it out for me and my mother." Feeling his nod up and down, followed by a possessive growl. Making me smile up even more. "Come on...I promised I take ya home." As much as my head hurt to move it, or dizzy I really was. I moved away, sitting up straight as I could just to get out of his hold. 

He found me to bring me back, and in that moment. I did something I never thought I'd do in front of him...And that would be crying. "I can't go home."   
"And ya can't stay here, Blake, listen to me...Ya stayin' out here lets 'em win. Probably ain't no fun drinkin' by yaself anyhow."   
"Never needed a reason to get lit before, bout time I had one." It was one remark after that another, not even a moment a silence until I shared what I needed to. I couldn't go home, not yet anyway. Drunk and my family doesn't mix that well.

In reality, it was a single tear. But it was enough to make me look weak in front of him, the added addition of my lip quivering at the thought of him taking note was enough, I thought I fit in up until this point. 

"Alright...How's 'bout we go somewhere else? It's gettin' cold and you ain't wearnin' anythin' warm." He rose to his feet now, whipping the back of his pants from the dirt he believed was on there. Offering my a hand, but I just shook my head in retaliation.

"We ain't goin' to ya house Blake, we're goin' to mine." That is when I smiled, taking his hand the second time. Stubbing upwards as I pointed to my backpack a few feet away, guess I liked the view over here opposed to anything else.

Throwing it over his shoulders as he took my arm over his, leading me through the woods as if I were injured. And my ego was, especially now as he carried me back to the parking lot.   
"Are you mad?" He scoffed, taking the whiff of air as I was probably heavier than he imagined. Or shortness on breath on either of our smoking habits, guess it's finally getting to us.   
"Mad at what? I ain't mad...I'm mad that ya didn't call me...Don't want ya drinkin' alone no more...Got it?" I chuckled, especially when I saw his pick up instead of his brother's bike.

To be honest, I can just stay in the back the entire night. Sleep right on in there as if nothing ever happens.

"How did my brother get your number?" I questioned, holding my head as he left me standing. Funny bit was, I completely forgot about my bike until he rolled it on over to lift on up into the bed. "Called Shawn...It was a mess, do ya even have your phone on ya?" Patting my jacket's pockets do I hold it on out, pressing down the button as I turned it back on. 

Making the little annoying sound, but it was soon cut off as it froze by the numerous amount of people are calling it. "Yeah, don't blame ya for that one." Declining all the calls did I see the number of texts, voicemails that each of my family members had given me.

Even Dixon before me.

Clicking it did I bring it up to my ear at full volume to hear, but he must have seen what I was doing.   
"Blake where the hell are ya? I got your brother textin' and callin' me. What the hell did ya get yaself into?"   
Clicking the second one did I chuckle at his defeated expression before me, as he slammed shut the truck's stomping on over and making a reach for my phone. But my finger was quick to point to him, especially when his past self-came back into play.   
"Christ Blake, they're 'bout to call the cops on ya. Got me worried, please just...Just call me back."  
Licking my lips in pure amusement as the man before me just opened the door of the pick up for me. "Worried were you?" I questioned, but it was more of antagonizing. Especially when he placed the backpack down at my feet and just slammed the door shut. 

Rushing over to the drivers seat to get the truck started, and at this time did I realize how brutally cold it turned. Fairly quick too, as I rubbed my hands and enclosed them in my thighs. "Shit sorry Blake, the heaters broke...Gotta blanket 'round here somewhere." He must have found it considering his expression, and soon the wool like stitching draped over my shoulders and around. Inhaling the sweet smell of nicotine that managed to stay trapped in the fibers of this fabric.

"Comehere. Ya freezin' cold hun." Him taking me under his wing once more as he managed to drive the truck as well made me smile and giggle without so much as a thought.

But it was my heart skipping a beat to him calling me 'hun,' never was one for full words, or even full sentences. But that right there, that nickname was enough to make me smile, even if all I wanted to do was frown.

"How did you know to come find me here?" I asked. It has been silent for a good while now. Just the humming sound the truck managed to make for a time being, even then was it slowly putting me to sleep at how constant it was. And how warm his hold around me was, so I asked the question to keep my brain moving and aware.

"Don't got too many hangout spots, this was the third stop."   
"What were the other two?" His arm moved from securing my position, to make me lie further down in his lap. "Shsh, we're almost there." The rusty accent was so devilishly persuasive, even with him stroking my loose ends back into pace behind my ear I couldn't stay awake much longer.

I must have fallen asleep, or something because when I opened my eyes, we were already turning into the driveway for me not to question why it took so long to get to his house. But as I counted the seconds did I realize that his road wasn't as bumpy or as long as this one is.

He took me home.

Daryl took me home.

Removing myself from his hold did I just go straight towards the window, and in doing so did I push away his offering hand once more. "Asshole took me home anyway?!" I yelled, all while trying to aid a growing headache and keep my distance, he parked in his regular spot behind the garage opening the barn door to put my bike on the back.

But what he failed to understand was me coming out of the car, leaving the blanket at the seat to just throw my bag behind some unused tools.   
"That's it? Not going to talk? So it's okay for you to stay here when you can't go back to your house?!" I yelled, and he just sighed. Lifting my bike back down to the floor to roll it on in. 

"That ain't remotely the same...Ya got a family who wants ya home, my dad don't give no shits."

I hit home the way his voice sounded, but it was a thought in my mind that came and left. Especially when the vodka was still fresh and warm in my stomach.

"Daryl?!" I heard a yell in the distance, and I just held myself and walked on into the bar. Shaking my head in disappointment as I shoulder butted the man before me. Blocking my pathway and took my drink away from me.

All in one day too.

"She alright?" I heard my brother yell, the steps echoed in my head. Even if the room was spinning as loudly as ever, did it not matter if I sat down, stood up, or laid on down to the dirt floor.

It felt like the world was rocking back and forth.

"Bro gotta calm down, she's pissed cause I promised to take her somewhere else...She had one too many...She'll be aight." Daryl sold me out to my brother, especially when I turned back to look and see Jarod wide eyes and desperate to give me a hug, which I was slow in reacting to. And hesitated as he inhaled my jacket, probably the sign of everything I took today and the weeks prior. "Where did she get vodka?"   
"Had it when I found her, best get her inside. Those assholes ain't still here...right?" My brother shook his head as he too took my arm over his shoulder, and as my teeth gritting down to crease my jawline.

Enforcing me to pull away from his unnecessary hold.

"Thanks again man...Sorry to bother you on christm-" "Don't mention it, just...Here's the keys to the bike. Might wanna hold on to 'em." 

My mouth gawked, however in the world he had got them. Did my brother now own them, and in all terms did my stepdad own this bike...Guess it was in my own fault that I could have something of my own that I love, without it getting ripped away from me too.

"You thinking I have one key is on you." I muttered, leaving the barn again as I went on outside. Not bothering to speak to Daryl anymore tonight, not how he betrayed me like that.

I needed time away, and a few hours just didn't cover it.

"This'll blow over soon man, don't worry."  
"Tell me how she's doin' tomorrow will ya?" Some odd shake must have occurred due to the clapping of hands before the footsteps emerged on out to lock the barn, and instead of turning around. Did I feel the interlocking touch of Daryl holding my hand before letting go.  
"'m sorry." He whispered, almost like a growl as he squinted his eyes even more than normal. Before going back to his truck. "Like the jacket!"

I couldn't even hold that laughter in, especially when Daryl snickered all the way up until he was in the confinement of his truck. 

Boys will be boys.

The walk back was nerve wrecking, every ounce of my well being just wanted to run back to my bike. Hotwire it if I have to, anything to get away from this god damn fucking house. 

It was right then my brother took off his lounge jacket, to hand off to me. Assuming that I smell that badly of vodka I removed mine to throw it on. "They're gone...Hopped on a plane an hour after you left." Again, it was as if my mouth was sewn shut, not bothering to give him the satisfaction of speaking or anything.

Just the amount of times I looked on back to see Daryl's truck slowly leave the property line, did I grit my teeth the moment he left. How could he just turn me in like this? I...I honestly thought he cared. 

Jarod passed by me to unlock the door where both my mother and step-father were sitting, Mickey just sitting on the couch slapping down his new toy as they all looked on off towards.

I looked at them both until my eyes were glued to my feet, watching them step one after the other up the stairs as I ran away again. Finally making it to my room, the door unlocked, no doubt they have a key to it as well.

Much like my captive bike key.

Stripping off everything that I wore today, down to the bra and panties did I throw them into the hamper. Grabbing the first given pajamas I could find before settling into bed, this time though. I left the door unlocked.

How else was I going to instill trust with the parents downstairs, because this signal burning factor still drained me inside, or perhaps it is still the vodka talking as my eyes grow heavier and heavier.

What sort of battles went on before I came here? And what does Jaclyn know compared to Jarod? All these remained unanswered, even when my body was asleep. But my mind was still wired, lucid dreaming or whatever sort of fancy way of describing it is. I knew when someone moved into a different room of the house, or when the door creaked on open to peek on it.

It was a game of guess and tell, continuing all throughout the night as I tried to go to sleep. But it wasn't possible, not when it was dark out. But the second the light hit our horizon, my mind triggered something that craved sleep, and I was finally in the rest of it all.


	24. -UpcomingPlans-

The hazy and regret were easier to contain, the headache...not so much. Especially when I forced myself to rise, only to plop right back down to my pillow with such force. Rubbing my eyes to remove the sleep, along with any thoughts that came to did I notice the glass of water and Advil just sitting beside me on my nightstand.

As careful as my head could balance, did I make it to level the drink. Gulping down more than the satisfying slurps, before adding the pills to the mix. And in that moment did I fall back to the pillow, this time more careful not to upset the receiving pain.

It took minutes for the medication to kick in, and finally did I feel the willpower to rise up instead of fall back down right away. The sticky note that was apparently beside my drink read, 'sorry, hope you feel better' written in a guys handwriting.

Crumpling it up and throwing it across the room did I make the effort into going towards my closet, finding the most comfortable thing to wear before even processing what to do next. The Advil might help relieve the pain, but it didn't help with the foggy memory of what happened last night.

The knock at my door just signified any sort of plan that I could begin to muster, especially when it was my mother holding two mugs of steaming hot tea. But I didn't bother to look anymore, not even when she sat beside me in the windowed area. One of which she pillowed to make into a seating area.

This would be the first time I truly used it other than sneaking out.

"I...I know what happened last night was-" I stopped her right there as I shot my eyes towards her, all while biting my nail. Since there was no other thing to do other than take the offered tea in her hands. Before she sighed again before me.

"Jaclyn didn't like me, not until I was carrying Mickey did she find the time of day to call asking how the baby was doing. But the second he was out in the real world, she never bothered again."

Giving her the sorry excuse of a smile, did I sip the tea. Shifting around the bag by the string, at first, I was petrified as to her knowing I drank last night. But Jarod wouldn't rat me out, not when I have stuff against him as well. "She didn't like the idea of adopting you into the family, but Michael knew. He knew everything...Jaclyn, she looked the trial up. The reports, however she managed to do that. Some of it was fake, some of it was true...But you were never arrested, the social worker would have told me..." I again, offered the smile because she doubted the internet over the 'what ifs' stated before her, like a good mother would. 

"She never asked anything about you, and even Michael knew something was off from the moment they came over yesterday. I didn't have time to warn him. I know she was out of line sweetheart, and you won't have to be near her ever again....But you can't run off like that, not again."  
She was trying her best to scold me, because I did it once. Trying to run off to see her, but I never got close. I was too young and naive to understand what it meant, but I guess that is what happens when you're forced into the system. "...I know it hasn't been the best adjustment, and Michael leaving for deployment was sudden for us all. But I want you to be able to talk to me...I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused you, and maybe Jacklyn was right. You're going to be an adult soon, all the time we've lost won't ever come back."  
Taking hold of her hand that was resting onto the pillow, did I sigh out in hopes of backing up the tears that were threatening to come out. "But that's not your fault. I don't care what that woman says, or said when I left. But it isn't your fault, it's his fault." The emphasis I had on the word 'his' had her lick her lips as gently as ever. That was her only mistake, unless she thought of me as it as well. Back in the day she probably did, but now...Now I have never seen so much regret on a woman than what I see on my mother.

"I loved the gift you got me, but please...You don't have to get me anything more alright?" I began to shake my head once more, how could she even say that? "We missed so many mother's days and holidays..." I spoke so softly, so calmly. One of the aspects I've picked up from both her and speaking to children.

The odd bit of it all that I came across as she spoke, was a year ago I wouldn't have even begun to think about living somewhere else. Living away from the girl's home I was staying at, and here I am. Accustomed to almost everything, and yet...Completely shocked at the outbreak yesterday.

"Jarod said you're going out for New Years?...Please be careful honey alright? If you're staying out, don't drive too late." Before she spoke, she whipped away her tears that were forming. And rose, picking up my now finished mug of tea along with her own. I chuckled as Jarod would still allow me to go out after what happened, don't even know what lie he told them about what I did.

Just enough for them not to question me, even now did my mother go and leave me alone to wallow in what she talked to me about. That rude woman that poses as Jarod and Michael's loving mother figure, how in the hell did she become so bitter?

Whatever it was, I managed to leave the haven of my room to go take a shower. Only to end up back into the confinement, given that I don't really wish to be with anyone else or talk to everyone else.

As I was drying my hair in my room, bringing the towel out and everything. Did the knock at the door actually scare me considering I thought I was done being 'yelled' at for today. 

"Blake...Can I talk to you?" I yelled the common 'it's open,' before he managed to open it a few seconds later.

His eyes scared the room, almost sneakily coming on in as if he wasn't supposed to be up here. That makes perfect sense if I think about it now, him not coming up sooner?

"What's up?"   
"I just...I just wanted to see how you're doing." His mumble of a tone suited the situation, he was trying to be careful. I completely understand it, but he doesn't know the full story, and by the glint in his eyes, he wants me to alter whatever reality he has built behind me. Whatever his grandmother had said yesterday when I left had he get kicked out of this house, or leave without even so much a farewell. 

"Being told I'm a 'lost cause' really stirs up the Christmas spirit, doesn't it?" He sighed, sitting down on my bed as I kept pacing, walking and rubbing the scalp of my head to dry it all the bit quicker.

But even with all my attempts does he just look and act uncomfortable. "I'm sorry I worried you...And mom...And-"   
"You had me call fucking Daryl!" He paused me in the conversation, as he stood on up to his feet. Looking dead set towards me as he claimed what he did, I knew he called Daryl. Went through Shawn to go and get it, boy what a conversation that must have been. 

"I was going to come back."   
"Yeah? When? Where did you even go?" I chuckled as I tried to answer the question, but I couldn't even give him a name or location of the park even if I tried. "To a park that--...I was perfectly fine, not really happy that Daryl lied to get me back though."

Sharing my feelings on that part of the issue made him uncross his arms, placing them on his hips before sighing on down. Shaking his head in retaliation to me getting feelings, I am a person, I have emotions.

"Come on...I didn't start playing any of the games you bought me...Wanna play?" As much as I battled for my smile not show, it finally did as I gave him the excuse of 'give me a minute' for him to set it up and I can finish drying my hair for another good second.

The assortment of games I gave him was enough to hold us both for a few minutes without talking. But soon we were neck deep in battling the enemy where he began to speak. "Have any plans for New Years?" I chuckled, allowing my character to take the given attacks before searching around the map before speaking. "What makes you say that?" His shrug made him rock his controller as he his next expression turned angry for he needed to respond farther away from the checkpoint. "No bonfire?"   
"You can take my invitation. Not going." I could feel his head snap back, especially when he died in an instant of regenerating. But once he paused the game for both screens did I really feel the heat of the conversation rising. "What do you-"   
"I don't have my bike, and I really don't want to be near him right now." He sighed down, looking for the start button before pressing it. Continuing on with our game of battling enemies, but even that last only a few minutes.

"You're going to sit home and pout because he took you home?"   
"I'm going to sit home and pout because he lied to me." Moving across the army of snacks we stacked up did I press the start button for him, and with ease did I continue.

Whatever his plan was, I didn't like it. "You could have asked for the keys back."   
"That's not the point, I have three of them." My expression and responses were blunt and to the point, him pushing it and continuing to do so began to anger me. And that was surely shown in the match we were settling on."He did me a favor, and now I'm going to do one for him. You're going." I chuckled, shaking my head laughing into my shoulder at his sorry attempt at a plan. "Yeah, and we'll do body shots and everything will be alright."

This time he didn't even bother to stop the game, he dropped his controller to the ground below him, just showing the shock of his entire body.   
"Y-y-you did body shots?" My laughter still ringed on even after he asked the question, louder even. How mindless was he, especially given the fact that I've been nothing but conservative with myself since he's met me.   
"Not me, but hey...always got a job to do. Maybe I'll get some hours in." He still looked at me, still not believing in my words. I've never done it to be honest, and I probably never will.

But I guess the term never say never will probably spark here.

*

He never let the idea down, every day, and every hour would he ask me what my plans were. And each time I would say the same line, but he never made the mistake of saying it in front of mom. 

That was the blessing of both worlds, even when Michael apologized for his mother's behavior at Christmas dinner, I told him not to worry about it. The fact that I was already looking past it was my own win on my own account. 

It was Daryl's attempts at calling me that rendered me...Annoyed.

I didn't want to talk, I didn't want to have anything to do with him. And I think part of me is just shifting the blame off to him, one of the people I trusted for so long, and yet here he is. Calling my phone.

He is making an effort.

But I wasn't ready to talk to him, especially it being two days before new years, the party being tomorrow night. I don't want to miss it, but I also don't want to talk to him. It was a rope between the two options, especially since I was on my way to work.

With my jacket and heavy flannel on, did I hope and pray that the inside of the bar was actually warm that I could just tie this extra piece of clothing onto my waist without having another thought.

When I'm angry, I drive with a different momentum, a different rhythm than I normally do, but somehow this connected to leaving the house on Christmas day mad. Not like I would manage to see anyone other than him, what else does he do with his time? Bikes, drink and sell. Sounds easy enough when they're known in town for doing all the above, just hope he's sticking to his word about staying away from the dangerous stuff.

Guess that was always a 'what if' in the back of my mind.

What was the worst thing he's ever done?

Then the question is the worst thing I did? If that question is ever rebutted against me, I guess blacking out to the next morning with no clear memory in a bathroom might beat being roofied.

With my bike parked and a quick scope around the parking lot to see if his truck is here, it was a clear indication of it not present. So I thanked the high heavens as I walked on in, placing my first jacket on the hook, and the other one around my waist for I was right about the heat is high.

The amount of bodies was expected, everyone's new year's resolutions and last day on earth mottos have been completely thrown out the window for a 24 more hours. And in that insight, did I warp my apron around to my given spot. For I wouldn't just be making drinks, I'd be practicing waitressing for tonight.

Wasn't too hard, Jessi was very persistent and cautious about who she sent me to and what drinks I gave them. Good to have someone on the inside helping me, but I feel like Joe trusts her enough to let her know about our dirty little secret. 

The number of drunk guys almost made me uncomfortable, but they were too busy distracted by the breasts out on some waitresses than other to notice me just clearing tables. Until I was sold out for the night, and retired to make the drinks instead.

Mid pouring drinks did I see the entrance open, and I shouldn't have even counted for what time it was or how much luck I racked up tonight. Because it was Daryl and his brother once more.

My fucking luck.

However, it was easy to pretend to not see. And that is exactly what I was going to do, until Jessi was overflown with a large order and needed me to deliver the given few. I dodged him never the less, but that didn't stop him from seeing me. 

Because the moment I returned to my station, he sat right on before me. His head just resting on his fist as he looked on over to me. Smirking like this was his master plan, and by the way, Jarod seemed to be so into the idea of me going to the new year's party. There is the smallest bit of me that says they conversed sometime within the last five days. Sneaking bastards.

"Ya still mad? Cause ya cute when ya mad." I chuckled, juggling three things at once as I tried to get the orders out before the waitress came back with an empty tray. It was a never-ending process that I don't think I could manage a conversation with, especially when there's a half an hour after my shift.

"You're persistent, I'll give you that," I growled. Looking up from my position for a split second to see if he heard me. And my anger towards him only made me chuckle, wish I could take the smug look right on off him. But even then was in a mix of it all.

"So ya ain't mad?" I chuckled, blowing the air right on out of my mouth as I turned on around to the cabinet to grab him his regular stein of beer. And in doing so did I continuing to shake my head at the dispenser tipping it down, but my eye contact latched onto his the moment I let it flow down. 

"I don't like being lied to."   
"You needed to get home, what'd ya want me to do? Keep ya at my house?" Removing his glass from the dispenser, did I slide it to him. Just smiling as evil as ever. "Did ya poison it? I don't like that smile ya got goin' on." He carefully took it to his lips, but my shaking head never faulted.

I have trust issues. If that wasn't clear enough, perhaps he didn't get the entire idea of never relying on anyone, and here he was. Offering more trust than most in this tri-state area. Look what happened the moment I needed him the god damn most.

"Parents gonna let you go out for new years?"   
"More like if I want to go out, my parents don't give a shit." Resting his drink on down, letting his squinted eyes do the work of intimating me to high heavens. But I wasn't about to budge.   
"Blake ya can't be serious, comeon, I'm sorry. You were drunk out of your mind by a god damn lake, ya needed to get on home." I waved my hand to the side as a gesture as he finally understood what he looked for, and in that clear moment did I turn behind me yet again to grab another stein for his brother. Pouring did he ask again, making me shrug. 

"Be right back." I mumbled, passing by the side entrance to go around the corner. It was quicker and didn't render me completely masked by everyone else.

Before setting it down before him. "Well look who it is, where's waldo's fuckin' sister. 'Bout time ya at work." My eyebrows scrunched together quickly as I barely had my hand lift away from stein, and he was quick to chuckle at my confusion. "Been here all week tryin' find ya, brother was nursin' this here drink for close to three hours waitin'." I tried to hide my laugh, but bringing my hand to my lip was probably the worst idea in the mix of it all. Especially when he motioned to the booth before him to sit in.

"What's got ya two fightin', cause he won't tell me shit." Fumbling with my fingers did I chuckle, but allowing him to get a few gulps on it was enough to settle my own stomach. "Got into a fight with my 'grandparents,' ran off, didn't want to drive drunk so I stayed there. Daryl brought me home when I asked him not to." 

Just like his brother did he scratch his growing beard, letting out a rusty chuckle soon on after. "What'd ya want from him, sweetheart, he got ya home. Time to settle that shit now cause we got plans for tomorrow...Besides...Probably ain't safe for ya at our house...Nah...Bad idea girly." I was about to question that, but I already took too long with sitting down his brother. His eye contact was deadly. Especially now.   
"Ooo you got caught, get on. Get goin'. Better see ya tomorrow though, or I'll be disappointed." 

I smiled and said my goodbyes before returning to my station, the few orders weren't a lot. But enough to keep my hands busy and my glares at a minimal, and that was barely a second of work. "What time tomorrow?" I asked out of the blue, pouring the contents of a shared drink down with one hand looking at him now, bitting down a chuckle as he smirked ever so loudly at my question.

"I'll pick ya up."   
"Oh, you're good." Gritting my teeth at his grin just rising with the power he has, sneaky bastard, called it before. "What changed ya mind?" Pointing into the direction of Merle, already getting the attention of a hooker, did I see the resemblance of the last time this happened.

"So I'm just going to pretend you weren't camping out here the entire week." Doing a circular motion with my fingers to captivate the entire area, and he just turned to look back at his brother to whisper 'fucking asshole,' which inadvertently point off to him red-handed.   
"Hey...Language."

Scolding him as serious as I could until I cracked, cleaning up my station as I was about to clock out. I don't think he's gotten the idea just yet, not until I took off my apron did he place his money down for the drink.

"I'll walk ya out." Beginning to roll my eyes as I was quick to form back into my normal clothes of just my flannel before getting my jacket around the corner. Should have known he'd make an appearance, and even if I took off today, sometime this week he'd still make the drastic effort in drinking every night to do it.

"Everythin' good at home now? Old farts left right?" I chuckled at his honesty and direct need to know. So I just nodded, searching my small purse for my bike's keys before taking them on out. The helmet more or less was just stuffed into the leather pouches I've made, getting it on out was enough. But he was just starting, wanting to say more. Or convince me something otherwise. 

Currently, on my bike did I rise on off, removing my helmet before going to him. Giving him the smallest peck on his cheek before moving away. "See you tomorrow Dixon." Was all I yelled, turning away to place my head back on into the padded protection. But just before I was able to, did he grip on to my shoulder. Making me turn to look at him before both his hand cupped my cheeks and pushed me into a kiss. 

His delicate lips spoke everything he wanted to say tonight and more, even the touch of beer that lingered in the back with the cigarettes. Kissing back wasn't even a voluntary action anymore, it was so easy to move along with his dominate momentum that I was simply lost in it. 

That is, until he pulled away."See ya tomorrow Holden." He whispered, moving away to allow me the room to ride on out of my parking spot. Hiding my reaction behind the given blockage was the only way I could smile, but even then was I blushing to high heaven. Guess Jarod will happy about this one...since I finally have plans.


	25. -NewYears-

It is finally December 31st, and I cannot be more relieved that this year is over. There was so much I wish to detach from that I almost am eager to go to this party and completely forget the idea of time. Maybe it is just my need to drink, or the idea of being high.

But with my damp hair being difficult to style at the moment, and no clear idea when Daryl might come and pick me up. Leaving me to stay by at the ready, or at the very least. But I did make sure I had a whole plate of food, a sandwich and fires. As did Jarod, as we both knew what tonight entailed. Two different parties, but for once we're celebrating the same thing, the conclusion of the year.

Funny how far I've come, no part of me knew I'd be here. Surrounded by new people and a family more or less, and to make matters all the bit worse. I heard his damn pick up ring loudly as ever, and on that note, I booked it out the door. Saying goodbye and new years to my family, and a quick kiss to my little brother who was gobbling away at the ice cream my mother had given him.

It was seven o'clock, meaning more than enough prep time and everything to make the night worthwhile. Hard to believe it's the countdown, even harder to believe that I agreed to going with Daryl, guess this will be the first time in that regard as well...

Didn't even think about that either.

"Ya warm enough?" He asked my long flannel covered passed my hands and even my ass if I wanted it to. Instead, I rolled up the given portion and made the decent effort of a long-sleeved shirt underneath, we'd be near a fire anyway. So in that regard, I nodded, getting into the car and allowing him to drive on off to the overview of the town.

"Ya gonna hold out on what's got ya all smiley?" I chuckled into my hand that was resting on the window, how was I to just tell him that I was happy?   
"Can't be excited?" Firing back had him scoff, but it sounded more as a gentle scratch to the throat as he flicked his cigarette. "And to think ya were gonna sit on in your room alone." My eyes were in the zone of squinting back towards him, just to anger him all the bit more.

He was easy to antagonize, especially now. When I had the upper hand.   
"Invited to another party, I can just go to that one instead if you-"   
"Nah nah nah, come on." Rolling my eyes as a car continued to zip on past the windy road, and I knew that we were getting close. However foggy that night may be, I knew this part fairly well. Even more so in the sheer brightness, considering we were still setting up.

"Hey! Princess, glad ya could make it." Barely parked and out of the car do I hear Merle just yelling out with his scratchy voice, almost sounded like he was in pain of talking. But he held up the enormous bag of some sort of narcotics that I just laughed and shook my head politely at.

I guess that was just my shrugging tactic in the midst of it all, but seeing the army of cars on our way in, did both the music and the yelling commence.   
"I gotta check somethin' real quick, be right back." He pulled me closer so I made sure I heard it before walking off towards his brother, but I wasn't about to sit back and wait for him to return. Instead, did I see the given outline of both K&R running towards me now in a synchronized motion before tackling me. Not to the ground, I kept my balance well enough for that one. "Blake oh my god you're here...We were hoping you'd be here!" Rachel shouted, still over my shoulder. But the music was still drawing in closer than I thought to, and in that moment did they begin to drag me right off to where the bonfire was going to be placed.

"Yo, gonna help my brother. Find ya later?" I nodded, in the mist of being dragged closer and closer to the beginning light off in the corner. Knew he had things to take care of, but I was worried about what sort of narcotics some people might be taking.

The excessive pulling stopped when K&R was recognized by more people from school, they too saw me and we exchanged a quick handshake before the conversation began. Drinks were already out and about, along with the smell that was already lingering off their jackets ever so loudly.

"...And I was gonna call to see if you needed a ride." A quick tap on the shoulder had me turn around to hear Shawn's greeting, but it wasn't anything that started with 'hey' or 'hello' instead did it just render me under the bus because I had to tell him Daryl drove me here.

"You and Daryl huh?" He questioned, taking another sip of his beer. And there is no doubt in my mind that he was nursing it from the beginning of this, he was here with everyone else. Just like the last party, he was here to help. "How did you-"   
"He's been coming to school, everyone's seeing that." Letting out the obvious hum, did I completely forget that I asked Daryl to do that.

He began to lead me away from the bonfire, going off to where the beer was posted and handed me one, seeing him open it was what calmed the voice screaming at me in the back of the head. And although I am giving Daryl a lot of credit for that night I was drugged, Shawn had gotten into a fight over it as well. Something tells me he is feeling a little bit offended by my chose, but he has someone he's trying to impress.

"Never asked where you ran off to." Letting my inhale being solely voiced by the teeth being blocked as they were previously gritting at how uncomfortable I felt right now, but relieving them with the cold beer was enough to prepare me for a response. "Went off to a park, everything's better now...Parents understand." He nodded, taking the bottle to his lips before swinging his back, this was a new level of uncomfortable.

"B?" I turned around, and even though the sun was setting on the horizon. I still made out the outline of Daryl coming on over, his nickname had me smile. But I continued to direct it to Shawn before moving along.

The arm around my waist was the clear indication that Shawn needed, and I was sorry for that one. But Daryl taking hold of my drink and sniffing it had me yank it on back into my hold. "Asshole," I muttered, making him laugh to the high heavens. 

All the way up towards the surrounding fire that was crackling and soaring into the now darkened sky, Daryl made the given round to greet everyone with a high five before settling down back with me, just with the added addition of beer in one hand.

*

Stories were told, laughs were shared. It was a good time all around, but the number of stares I've received from both K&R, along with Shawn was enough to have me drown out the entire right side of the bonfire. The way I was positioned, my body facing angularly to the opposite end anyhow. While Daryl too sat the same way, allowing to shield me from most of the stares. Just whenever I went to take a sip, or listen to what he had to say.

I'd see the peeking gaze of someone else, trying to bypass what we were talking about.

Once the weed had came and left, and my body had calmed down tremendously. Did I not bother about their stares, which probably don't even exist anymore due to the fact that nobody here is sober any longer.

The hour countdown commenced, and with that setter. Did Merle believe it was time to 'break out the heavy stuff' and at first I was confused, until Daryl leaned down beside my ear to talk directly on into it. "Wanna go to the truck?" My eyes were glued to the contents, but I nodded without realizing it. We weren't the only ones, some went off to the drinking station. And others were just around, it might be called a bonfire. But it wasn't the only attraction this place had to offer, just didn't notice them until now.

With my legs stumbling with being asleep, and the entirety of the weed having it's effect on me. Did Daryl have to keep his hold steady around my waist. Leading me to the safety of his truck, and just like the last time. Did I station myself underneath the stars, looking up as he sat himself comfortably down. 

"What'd Shawn have to say?" He fumbled on out, playing with his hands before looking at me. After the question was drawn out into the air, and I don't know why I chuckled. Thinking the vibration would feel different or odd when done a certain way, but more so because the conversation he and I had was one-sided.   
"It hasn't been the same with him since he got arrested."   
"Yeah, cause he likes ya..." My brows scrunched together, as I moved away from him to look him square in the face. "...Least he ain't no creep like Daniel..."

I gave up resisting his hold because once his arms opened up for me to just join into them. The familiar feeling of the jacket's smooth surface found it's way under my flannel as his hands just wrapped all around.

"I got an idea..." He mumbles, it's been probably a good few moments since we've spoken. And I was just allowing everything to sort itself out in my body, the fogginess was real and vivid. But his words were normally spoken, and my reaction as slow as it might have been, still worked with it. For the moment I looked on up and was about to speak. His lips crashed onto mine.

The awakening of both our drunken expressions had him shift the weight on back over his waist once more. Just returning to what we did at the lake just a few weeks ago, but this time was he cautious of keeping his hands anywhere else other than my waist, making sure to rock it back and forth.

Letting myself give us the moment of oxygen did I straighten out my back, but the moment I did, did I forget the factor that everyone was around us. Knowing and seeing exactly what we're doing, so in that instant did I hide on back down. But cooly enough, Daryl missed my hesitation in returning back for another kiss. The only difference in this segment, was his hands coming together at my center, unbuckling my belt for me.

It was just a clear second, and it was barely undone before I gripped both his hands to stop. "FIFTEEN MINUTES!!" I heard, fairly close so it was both our heads rising to snap in the direction of the yelling drunk. "Don't gotta worry, nobody comes over here...Less ya can't be quiet..." His subtle wink sent a chilly sensation right to my core, and he knew what he had enacted. Whether that was my smile or the glorious attempt that he moved back to removing my belt.

With my belt no longer in the picture, did he throw it a bit on over. My pants no longer fitting me correctly did he all but suddenly drift his hand down from my high stomach down to the outline of my panties.

And by the groan that he scoffed on out, he wrapped his single finger around the fabric. The power I hold in this phase did I go straight for the crook of his neck, needing to bypass the jacket the continued to make it all the more difficult.   
Until he just slid it right on off.

But with it now off, did he push forward. And in turn, did that push me backward, having me now pinned down as he attacked the crook of my neck. Still stretching upwards my throng in an attempt to subdue me, and as much as I resisted the urge to moan. He knew, he remembered which spot was which. As he continued to suckle until this moan was achieved, then, before I could even form another crave.   
He dives right down my shirt, unbuttoning the smallest bit to reveal my cleavage. Sucking and nipping at my already swollen skin, and if there was anything I could do more pleasing. It was having my hands through his hair, pushing him into my being to continue.

"Daryl..." I mumbled out, it took multiple attempts to even form the solid word, and another few seconds for his to respond. "We..W-we have to st-...stop..." I mumbled out, no longer pushing him to myself. And that, in turn, had him look up, mid-kiss to see what had changed my mind. 

Careful not to crush me did he had his arms pinned down beside me about to ask the simple question of 'why?' and I was scared to answer. "I never...I n-n...N-never..." That's when his head fell down to my stomach, letting out a loud sigh. But once he rose on up, he didn't falter his position to smile. His mind was still rolling, but his eyes held the need to act pitiful.

Letting my head just back looking at the sky do I just giggle at the fact that he's flustered enough to say the least, and the next thing I so cleverly managed to come up with. Was wrapping my single leg around him as I flipped us over.   
"Whatcha doin'? Don't think ya gotta do-" With my fingers just itching down to the zipper of his pants, as slowly as I could do I just open it. The clear path was there, and let my hand just reach on through to his boxers do I take his entire length in one grip. Rubbing down the shaft as slowly as I could, preparing him for what's to come. "You were saying?" I whisper so close to his ear, all while still keeping a steady rhythm. The sprat moment when I would increase the speed and slow it down, repeating this had his groaning for more.

And I knew just what to do.

Lowering myself back on down do I gain his attention, now with his length growing in response to my movements do I still feel confident enough in taking him on. So with wide open eyes do I look on up to him, just as his words were coming out. "What're ya-" That is when I took him in, going slow but still keeping a steady stroke with my lips on the rest of the length.

I'd get there soon. He just had to be patient.

He was having a hard time being quiet above me, wanting to groan, wanting to keep talking. But I was done with his way of words, telling me before that I wouldn't be able to keep it down. Yet here he is, struggling to keep it under wraps. 

So just when he thinks he has my ideas in order, do I go farther down. Letting it touch the back of my throat before removing myself from the entirety. "Fuck..." He managed to mumble, but my hot breath still lingered near his growing length making it continuing to twitch up and up. In response to that, do I allow my tongue to drag all the way up before swirling at the top.

But the way he was twisting and turning, moving his hips up in a movement meant he was close. And I was all but prepared to continue, until the voice popped back on up once more. "TEN...NINE....EIGHT...SEVEN...SIX...FIVE-" The yelling was completely cut off by Daryl's final groan as he finishes, shooting to the back of my throat as the people on the far side of the lot yelled 'happy new year!' it was just an echo, especially when his heavy breathing laid waste to any and all sounds.

"Happy New Year..." I chuckled, just falling on down beside him. Hiding my obvious laugh and smile as he tried to regain himself as quickly as he could. "Happy fuckin' new year Blake...Christ, what's gotten into ya?...Pullin' that shit."

Laying on my stomach beside him, while he just rested out with his arm behind his head. Looking at the stars like the first time he saw me. "So next time...I'll just leave you with blue-balls." He chuckled, shifting his gaze over to me as he still needed to level out his breathing. And the rate his heartbeat was going, gave me the bit of anxiety. So I reached into my pocket and lit a cigarette, opening a brand new pack because I had gotten antsy for this party.

Guess I was completely right.

"Got another one?" He questioned, and barely having the movement in mind to pull out another. Does he just take it from my mouth, making me laugh in sheer shook. "I'd put it away, before anyone comes over..." I warned, but he just blew out into the clear air. 

"Ain't nobody comin'...Why didn't ya tell me you're a virgin?" I pulled my hands over my ears as he said the final word, I hate that word. I hate being categorized because I haven't put myself out there in that sense."That's a fun conversation," I mumbled, letting the new cigarette bounce with my lips as I tried to light it. Having complete difficult because of the sudden wind. Just my luck. "How many beers have you had?"   
"Not enough." I chuckled, but he still pushed the question, I didn't have that many. If anything I was more high than drunk at the moment, three beers can't put anyone over...

*

It wasn't the alarm that woke me, but the sudden array of birds beginning to chirp ever so high above my ear. Making dig closer into the warm hold that was beside me. And inspire the annoying sun blinding my right eye, I still managed to be comfortable. Wherever I am. "Ya up?" "Shhhh." I mumble, not bothering to open my eyes knowing they were burn the moment I do. 

The hand that slowly dragged my hair behind my ear tickled with each passing square inch made me shiver with content. I didn't want to move up from this position, not any bit of it. But his movement continued to make me push deeper to his hold, his reaction was to chuckle. Seeing as how his whole body hummed in the sight of it. 

"Gotta get ya home. Come on, up and at 'em." His pushy attitude and sudden voice change from groggy to fully wake were mind-boggling. How on earth did he manage to pull that one off? Without any sort of medication or relief...But then again, I don't think he had too many beers.

"...Or we can look what ya did last night, right before the clock struck 12." That's when I opened my eyes, the purity of his joke had me laugh and roll away from him. Rising to give the bit of distance as the entire night's memories rolled into my head.

Speaking of head-

"You sound like you didn't enjoy yourself." I laughed, taking the blanket off his body and throwing it over my shoulder. Just hiding my growing smile as I wrapped it over my mouth in retaliation, he was trying to hide his embarrassment. But the keen memory that flew right on in was his entire body shaking in the single touch I caused him.

Grabbing the rim of the truck to I rise up above to my feet, seeing the disaster of last night being either picked away by the people awake. Or being waken up from slumbering on the ground. I got lucky this way, beside Daryl with a blanket. Even a ride home in the sense of everything else.

Going to the passenger seat, did I make it on in without falling or needing help from Daryl. Which he was surely ready to give me, for however he managed to jump out as well without me noticing was beyond me.

Him now at the steering wheel, jacket on and over his shoulders as he made it through the maze of parked cars, those who settled the nights. But some did I see manage to make it back into their cars, it dropped in temperature last night. Good thing there was a bonfire for those who were smart and chose that area to sleep.

"Any plans for the new year?" I asked, resting my head at the far side of the wall. Nursing a headache did he take my free hand and began rubbing his thumb deep into my skin. Making me smile at the attempt at comfort, all while driving me home. "To figure ya out..." My instant reaction was to look at him, confused as all hell as to why he wants to know more about me...What haven't I told him?That's when the countless list of events, actions and everything else in my life.   
"...What 'bout ya?" He finished it off with a question, he surely planned this too. Guess I'm predictable in that sense. "I don't know Dixon...You're pretty mysterious too." He didn't chuckle like I thought he would, he just shifted uncomfortably. So I nodded along because we both felt the same way.

It's just Merle's words were coming into context now:  
"...Probably ain't safe for ya at our house..." 

I want to know more, and maybe without realizing until after I said it. That that is what I wish to get out of this new year, start a beginning somewhere and make amends with my past.   
"Looks like nobody's home." He mumbled behind his hand, blocking his mouth as he itched his nose every constant second. I didn't mean to make things awkward, and if last night didn't do that for us already this can't either. Especially now that the house is empty, Jarod not home and my parents at the base. 

Think it's fair to invite him inside.

"Wanna come inside?" I asked, letting the blanket fall down my shoulders and to the seat of the car. He was stunned, my invitation wasn't sudden in anything. But like the events of last night gave into account, I can see where he'd go in the thinking range. "For breakfast not for round two." Was all I laughed on out, making him sigh down at the wheel. Opening the door to follow me on out, guess that was his idea of a yes.

"You're brother planin' any more bangers 'gain? The last one wasn't that bad." I shrugged, skipping the few steps to make it to the top with my key. Unlocking it and allowing him in, it was a habit to take my shoes off at the door.

Most of the women in charge of foster homes were anal about how the house was kept and all that sort of shit. And it's just easier to sneak back in the house with. Taking my jacket off by how hot the house was being heated with no one home, did I go straight to the fridge.   
"Do you want eggs, cereal, waffles, pan...cakes?" 

It happened again, I made him uncomfortable. He was alright when the house was littered with people all drinking and smoking his sales. But now, when it was just himself and I, did he feel it coming to pressure him. 

I could see it in his eyes. 

Holding up the carton of eggs did I see him both shrug and then force a nod into the mix of it all. I was just going make scramble, easiest to make and clean up in the same. Along with some coffee and toast. My mission was simple as he sat down at the island looking to what I was doing. "So...what do you want to know about me?" Was all I could say, turning to look over my shoulder as I whisked away at the eggs.   
"Blake I can't-"   
"I've been asked a thousand times, questions don't phase me anymore." 

Turning back do I see him scratching his head, before he moved up from his seat. Going straight on over to the counter beside me, gave him the quick motion for him to sit right on it. "Why didn't ya stay with your mom?...Why'd ya go into the system?" Out of all the questions I was prepared for, it was this one. Probably the easiest ones to answer.

"Cause she wasn't...She wasn't the same. She turned herself around a lot, and I give her credit for it..." He nodded, fiddling with his thumbs. I just shook my head in a result of it all, and I didn't want to bring any questions to him because I honestly didn't know what to ask. 

Just wanted to see when he'd tell me the important details.

"Why were ya in for so long?"   
"Cause court order allowed her to redeem herself, just took a long time...I was supposed to be here awhile ago." It was the same every time, I answer he nods and then precedes to the next question. And with our plates, almost ready did he just take one look at it, hungry eyes and a growling stomach. "When was the last time you ate?"   
"Yesterday mornin'...That's why I didn't drink too much, that and I didn't want no weirdo's comin' near ya." I rolled my eyes, silently scolding him for not eating before drinking was a heavy low. But setting his plate before him at the table, before pouring him a cup of coffee. "Do you want anything in you're coffee?" It was an easier question than the list of shit that can be put into it, instead, did he shake his head and motion for it. Guess I should have given it to him sooner, but the second his first swallow came down, he chuckled.   
"How much does this shit cost?" 

"You sound like me the first time I got here..." Was all I whispered, filling my mouth up with food as I took the gentle sip to wash it on down with. We ate more or less in silence, probably still giving his all on these questions. But I could never tell with the amount of food he's wolfing down. "Keep tabs on ya friends back at...The house?" He stuttered out the name for the building I called home, but it was a 'home' more or less. 

"Yeah...A little bit here and there. I send money." That's when his eyes darted towards me, like I was crazy. "Most of them aren't old enough to get jobs...I don't need anything."   
"That why you didn't take the money ya made at your brother's party?" He responded so fast that I didn't know if he was angry at the fact I didn't take the money, or that I was giving it to other people.

He was so hard to read at this moment, that he just stuffed his face with more food...


	26. -AfterThoughts-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I definitely forgot to post. I apologies :C

New years was on a Sunday, so we had Monday and Tuesday off for the new school year. And it was already a shit show, people starting new trends, music...Whatever in the world was going on, but I just focused on making it to class. 

And meeting Daryl at the top of the school when he texted.

His exact words to me were 'you're too stressed about somethin' so stupid like school.' And sometimes I actually believe him, that he's right. But what else am I to focus on? Midterms and finals were this month, then the new semester was about to hit. Nothing in my mind began to worry more about that, especially college.

College was the main thing.

To be honest, this week wasn't at all that eventful. It was Friday now, considering there were the good three days of honest school. And Wednesday was just the recap of everyone still talking about what they did for new years eve. And what I did was probably a shocker to most.

Kissing on new years is one thing, but why make that the only thing to do. Hell, I almost came into the new year screwing around with Daryl. And to make matters all the bit worse, the rumors were getting worse or better. Daryl's a tease when it comes to them, but the one he'll never let go, is us fucking on the bathroom sink. But turning the tease around was easier than him enacting to it. 

He's been very patient, all things considering. As much as I put myself before him, he's been keen on stopping before he can't handle it anymore. Unlike Daniel, he's respecting my wishes. But even then, I don't know what his wishes are. Sex is just that...Sex. It's a neutral thing however done, and it's obvious he's done it before.

Guess him coming to my work again was another strike on that door. But tonight was going to be different, he said he had plans after school. So I think into tonight, since it is Friday. Took off work specifically for this, didn't really want to, but he convinced me of it otherwise.

It was first period, and Daryl was keen to walk me to my first class. Guess he still doesn't trust Daniel, but that would be a blessing on both our parts considering my brother is growing that way as well.

Earning a few stares from people who might have seen Daryl, or because my jacket just smelled of pure tobacco. Either or. Taking my regular seat in the back felt odd now, besides Shawn who's been distance ever since...the party must have ended his liking for me and moved back to the other girl he liked before me. Not like he would tell me anything more.

It felt odd talking to him, even the simplest of things. Even him copying the notes from the first ten minutes of the class did I feel like he was watching me, and I did catch him twice. So it wasn't a matter of being paranoid, it was a matter of just being.

"You enjoy yourself at the party?...Heard you walked off with Dixon before the fun began." Biting my lip was I initially screwed, it sounded like he knew. But he was one of the many few who took Merle's little gift of coke. So turning the table did I just mention it the slightest bit.   
"And you were completely gone before midnight..." He snickered, fairly loudly considering we were whispering in the back of the classroom. Making the few closest to me look back, even gesture the bit of confusion on what party we were talking about. 

If it wasn't obvious enough as is.

"Dixon's know how to throw a party...When'd you leave?" Looking up at the ceiling of the classroom did I try and pull a random time out of my ass, how was I suppose to know any sort of relation to it being morning or afternoon.All I remember is Daryl joking about drinking expensive coffee that morning. "Next morning, I think I saw your car still there." He nodded along, and by the time the teacher assigned us textbook work. We were at a steady pace in returning to normal. There has to be something else wrong here, it can't just be him liking me be the entire problem.

"You alright?" The question rang in the back of my mind for a few seconds before the voice said my name. Making me turn to look, I was in Law class now. Sitting right beside Ryan, so I offered a simple smile and nodded. Everything was alright, just wish I knew what wasn't alright with everyone else...He was so into the conversation, all I asked was the simple question of how his week was and he went into such detail. This was a hundred percent more eventful than mine, unless you count Christmas day. 

The only people who know about it would be Maddie, Daryl, and Shawn. Just because Jarod needed to call around and ask where I went, and whatever idea that I went to his girlfriend for help is completely out of the question. Didn't go to anyone for help let alone Daryl, he was just the one to find me.

Trevor, as I heard about over the weekend at the party, was stuck at home on house arrest. Only allowed after school every other day, I don't remember what he did, but it was bad enough to get him this sentence. Even made it extended when he tried to leave the boundary lines.

Returning back to the class discussion, did I make it in time before the teacher put on a documentary. Boring or predictable enough to make people moan and groan in disappointment, to be honest, I didn't really care. The essays on summarizing this program are what keep all our grades up, and I cannot fail this subject.

I can't fail the subject I want to pursue in.

"So...There's this dance next week...And I was wondering if you would go with me...To the dance?" He stuttered the entire sentence, perhaps it was my instant look over towards him to see what he's staying and give my full attempt this time around. But the subject matter itself was a twist to it all, a dance? Did he just ask me to go to a school dance?

"I don't...I'm sorry...But I don't do school dances..." The denial had him nod down to look at the floor, acting as if he was looking for something. He gave the instant 'I understand' phase every denied guy might do. There was already the military ball that I am forced to go through and that is one hundred percent worse with long gowns and...Ugh, I can't prepare for that. One month to prepare.

The rest of the class we didn't talk, and when he was the first one out I knew how badly this will effect Jarod. My instant reaction of a no clearly offended him, but I wasn't about to forget the fact that he left me alone with a group of girls while he played beer pong at the other side of the house.

Ryan wasn't the type of person to just go off and tell though, but maybe he did ask my brother all things considering.

So lost in thought did I not even notice Daryl just standing behind my locker door until after I closed it. Making me jump in sheer shock at him being there. His arms were crossed making the jacket look ill-fitting at his arms, and while his wide eyes held so many questions, he decided to go with one.

"What's got ya so jumpy?" He asked, and as I began walking to leave the school. Did I see the cause of all my problems right on a colorful board that Maddie no doubt had help in doing.

"Ryan asked me...To go to that." Was all I said, nodding my head forward so his eyes could connect to what I was looking at. The all too cheery sign sparked the littlest bit of distress in my heart, especially if he says anything in the mist of going or not going.   
"What'd ya say?" He continued to read the board up until we passed it thoroughly, and he opened the door for me in the same moment as well. "'I don't do dances,' shitty excuse if I ever heard one." The laughter that came from my friend, is he my friend? What is this? What are we even doing? It's Friday and we're smoking and drinking at his house, no doubly going to slip on telling him anything. I already made him uncomfortable at my house that one time, I don't want to steer in that direction again...

"Can't ride no bike in a dress anyhow..." His joke was out there, but I still laughed as I pulled over my helmet. With my bag already in the small leather compartment did a thought begin to appear in my head. "You want to drive?" I asked, he didn't respond right away, so instead did I just scoot myself on back to make room for him. Holding out the keys towards him until he was reluctant to take them. 

In the first second of him being in the first section of my bike, did he not give me a chance to hold onto his waste. Instead he called back the time where I placed his onto mine, he even whispered the exact same words of, 'Not about to have you fall on off.'

My laugh was muted by the roar of my engine just starting up, and he was quick to put it into motion as he took the road into view. And before I knew it, we were on the way to his house. "Don't like Ryan all that much neither, let that bastard sneak ya drink...I don't trust 'im." When he yelled out his opinion on the subject once more, I just squeezed onto him tighter. Allowing him to know that I heard his words.

In the time that it took us to get to his house, I already had a few questions lined up. Especially when we got off the bike, barely moments in did I already feel it burn in the back of my throat. "Merle home?" He turned on back and shook his head, shifting the jacket back onto his body a bit more correctly as he waited for me.   
"Nah, he's out at a few parties. Comin' back in a few days." I nodded along, even when the smile escaped my reaction as he took his arm back over my waist again. Pulling all the bit more closer to him, he motioned for me to take the yard chair over in the corner as he went to find the other one.

Only thing is, I found both. Along with a crossbow.

Normally I assumed that he and his brother hunt with both rifles, or maybe that was just a very loud assumption that I didn't have a place to think. "Find em?" He questioned, but I took a hold of the hanging bow. Weighing it up and down as it fit so perfectly in the crook of my arm, but the second my name fell short of his breath, did I jump again.   
"Sorry...Sorry." I flinched, placing it back on the hook of the wall before grabbing both chairs. 

He too slid his way into the shed pointing off to the weapon. "Ya ever fire one before?" I shook my head in an instant. "Not much to shoot at in Connecticut."   
"Gotta hunt somewhere..." He took ahold of the bow like it was nothing, and in that time frame did I manage both of the chairs as we both walked out side by side. "Why do you hunt with it?"   
"Cheaper...Ain't gotta keep buyin' ammo, only when the arrows break." He was quick in sharing the reasoning behind his bow as well as setting down the two chairs by the unlit fire. 

Did he lead me to the back of the house and through the woods the smallest bit, obviously where one might go to practice. 

"Funny how ya don't wanna go to no school dance, rather be out here learnin' this." Throwing the hood of my sweater under my jacket over my head, trying to keep my poor ears from freezing did I look on behind. Trying to get the sense of how far into the woods we're going. 

"...I trust you..." I mumbled, but the lack of leaves crunching had signaled to me that he too stopped walking. His smiling only told me that he heard, but he didn't respond. In that case, did I hurry on towards him, making sure to keep a steady pace beside him.   
"You ever shoot anythin' before?" Daryl's question was vague, did he mean at a specific target or weapon of firing. This could go one of two ways. "Target practice yes, friends were into all that stuff."   
"Anythin' worth talkin' bout?" His interest was surprising, so I told him. The pistol that he had on him while we were out by the lake was one of the mere reminders of it. Probably wasn't the same model, but close enough in comparison. Along with the rifle and a shotgun. "Bet ya they were huntin' too. Nobody just got a gun for show."   
"Tell that to my stepdad." That made Daryl stop dead in his tracks as well, but I guess he saw something that caught his eye.

"Comere...Wanna show ya somethin'." Backtracking to his position did he point to the ground before bending on down, he took hold of my hand to follow in pursuit. Touching the smallest little tracks that I couldn't even believe he saw under all the leaves and branches.

His eyes were designed to understudy every bit of detail, and what isn't to love about that? So I took a closer look and followed the given pattern between the grass. Trying as best as I could to follow it through without stepping on the initial trial. "Got an idea whatcha trackin'?" He whispered, and I nodded looking on back to him as I made my way down the little-wooded area. "Don't touch 'em trees, leaves ya scent."

Holding my thumb way up high into the air did I swear I heard a chuckle, but it was difficult not to get any help from the surrounding trees, much less follow the trail of the-...I lost the damn trail.

"There was a turn...Musta got spooked. Come on, head on back." He was gentle, I give him that. Nor was he mad that I completely lost my way, and as I was about to touch another tree, did he offer his arm on up to help me with the sudden climb back up.   
"Did good, gotta work on walkin' quieter."

Letting my noise stuff on up as he just allowed me to laugh into his side, all while continuing to walk. I never suspected him to be a bowman, sort of ironic. But good thing I eyed it, I was learning something new. And this was valuable, whenever I might find a use for it in my life. "How do you walk quieter?" Was my question, trying to keep it quiet all things considering. Making him point to little things like stones and twigs. "Shit like that echoes, scares game away." It was a constant for me to look down where I was walking, how he did it so flawlessly made me think it was a mind trick. Instead, did I manage to plan my way of walking before getting there, allowing me to keep open eyes to everything around me.

Even when we made it to an open little area with targets.

"Can I trust ya holdin' this?" Him taking out the gun out of his back pocket alarmed me once again, why did he have it on him? And when did he find the time to hide it? Taking it within my grasp do I hold it as my friend instructed me all that time ago, but that made Daryl laugh at it. 

"Ain't no cop Blake, if you gotta hold it on high. Make a quick shot, one hand, up and at 'em." He took it from my hand, one motion from pointing to the floor before rising it back up to the target. And by the way his one arm angled down the round circle before us both, I'd suspect it would be a dead shot, even if he didn't look.

Handing it on the back, did I scold myself for taking it with two hands. But ending it with one, when he was setting up the bow, however, I did check to see if the safety was on, I'm not a cop. I'm just overly cautious at the moment.  
"Said ya shot a rifle, same length. The same angle, got a scope. Just gotta aim for the target and...Gotcha self a nice piece of venison for dinner." I chuckled at his enthusiasm, silly little smiling when this was so buzzer. "You come out here a lot?"   
"Got nothin' much else to do. Don't wanna bother ya when ya got school work." 

He sighed down to himself when he mentioned the bit about bothering me, even lowered his head as if he didn't want to mention it. "Can't bother me Dixon." I said, raising my voice as he gone the decent distance to retrieve the shot arrow. Removing it from the makeshift target, it was more or less a painted hay bail. Nothing too fancy about it, but when he handed off the bow towards me, and took the offering hand at the pistol I began to shake my head.

"Comeon, got faith in ya to make the shot. Don't tell me ya scared." Squinting my eyes at his sudden twist of words did I hand him back the pistol and took hold of the bow. But now it felt a hundred times heavier than I thought it did before, back in the shed. 

"Ah ah ah." His open hands motioned as his warning sound rose to halt my every muscle. Standing before me with a freshly loaded bow, did he spread my given legs apart. Coming to the completely other side from where he started at, taking my wrist ever so gently did he pull it on up. Making sure my hands were placed in both the correct spaces as he compacted it into my hold.

My elbow was risen to a high extent, making it seem odd how high it truly was. But I assume it was correct given the fact he didn't move it down any further. "Aight, y'all set. Fire away." He moved back up, getting a better view of my first shot. But the second his body left, my compact position came undone and I had to battle to keep it in form. And before long, I managed to steady myself to fire it straight to the bail.

It wasn't a bullseye like his, but it was in the general area of the circle. I smiled at my personal victory, but the sarcastic clapping sounds beside me ruined my moment. Swatting my hand towards him as playfully as I could do as he continue to chuckle his way on back over to the given arrow. "Nah nah, Blake that was a good shot." Him giving the bit of an effort to hurry on back did he take hold of the bow.

Placing the end to the ground as he placed the arrow into his mouth to pull the wire back on up. It looked as though it was heavy, but I guess the force needed to be strong in order to fire the ammo.

As he locked in the colored winged arrow, he handed it on back to me. "You got something planned Dixon?" I asked, bringing the bow back into my original stance as I pulled it up before me. Remembering to angle my elbow like it was so drastically shown, and before I knew it. I was ready to pull the trigger. 

Hearing the initial whoosh of air that was let loose before me, was different than a fiery blast I'm used to when pulling a trigger. I can see why he likes it, it's quiet. And like he scolded me for stomping too loudly did I make the connection that silence was key. "Think there's a hunter in ya, just gotta dig deep." Taking the beginning few steps to get my arrow did I return to him, he offered out his hand once more. But I just shook my head, letting my foot careful stable the weapon.

The arrow too found it's way hidden in my mouth as Daryl chuckled above me. "Think ya can manage?" He joked, letting my fingers hook the wire cable and pulling it back to the clip was I in fear of not being able to hear the signal that it was alright to let go. Nor was I sure that I was giving it enough strength.

Sure enough, it clicked. Letting my sigh on backwards as I smiled up to my teacher, pulling the arrow out was I in favor of the growing smile he had on his face, for it continued to grow.   
"Look at ya, fire a couple more...Call it a day." I nodded, rising to my position beside him once more. And the given few times he corrected me, it was the damn elbow giving me the hardest time. It was only because my arms weren't strong enough to hold it without fumbling down, however he knew that. 

He went on over to the small shed, right behind the given target. And returned with the rifle in hand. "Gotta bring it back on in the house, Merle forgot to clean it." Nodding did I take the given arrow and place it underneath the barrel. Almost like an attached quiver if that is even the damn.

As he was about to take the bow from my hands did I shake my head, strapping it up and over my shoulders like I assume he was going to do. 

My hood still covering my head, was I still keen on learning how to walk slower. And every so often would I see the man before me turn to look back, guessing I am getting the hang of it.

But what shocked me even more, was when I looked on up. My eyes spotted something more in my given peripheral, making me remove my hood from my head to turn and look. 

And there stands the deer from earlier, and in that moment did I not know what to do. Daryl was still moving, not knowing whether or not to check on him. And instead, did I slowly but surely remove the bow from my shoulders. Letting it rest on the ground as I managed to pull the cable on up with a silent click. 

The deer did nothing more than eat on the small patch of grass it managed to find. With my knee now at rest on the ground as well, did I remove an arrow to move back into the cable's area. 

Turning around did I see Daryl come to a stop in walking as well, and as he was about to shout. Did I put my finger to my lips, motioning before me. And seeing as he was scanning the area.

He too saw the deer.

Rushing on over towards me did knee down beside me. He didn't say anything, not a word. His hands just took control over the bow, trading it for the rifle as he continued on forward, walking down close to the ground ever so slowly. The weapon somehow always at the perfect angle and never at a wrong, and in that moment did I remember. 'not the neck, not the legs, gotta be the heart.' Is what he said beforehand, when we were just prating at the target. But I didn't get the opportunity to shoot at the deer, perhaps one day. 

Just the sheer amount of shock that came from his eyes when he saw what I was doing and why I was doing it. I smiled as had he finally come to a stop, and the familiar sound of air rushing past meant he fired the shot. "Blake!" 

He yelled, and I had no intention of firing the gun in my hand. But the thing was getting away, so as quickly as I could did I fold the strap around my arm for a firm grip, lining the running deer as the bleeding target laid it's open wound out to me. Did I fire the shot, a little before so it could have a chance at being generally close.

And as the backfire had the rifle blair in the air, did I retain it.

But the deer...Not so much.

Seeing it fall down to the ground, did the rush of my heart continue to burst as I saw what I managed to do. It wasn't killing the animal that brought the idea to mind, but the complete action of me doing what I just did shocked me entirely. 

With the rifle again, over my shoulder did I manage my way through to get to the animal. Seeing as how Daryl already beat me to it, seeing the no longer living animal down on the ground. Bleeding out, did I knee down right beside him as he just held the broke arrow in his hands. "Shit...I broke your arrow, I'm sorry I-"   
"Don't give a damn bout no arrow...I wanna know what fuckin' luck brought him here to the house. Christ. I'm takin' ya huntin' next time." 

The amount of silence he had given me until I spoke had me worried, but the way he laughed and turned the entire thing into a damn joke had us both sharing a laugh. "We gotta work on ya aim more, don't think ya hit anythin' too important." 

Itching the back of the neck was I unsure of what to do now, or how valuable this thing is. It's got horns, it's pretty large, it's just the mystery of getting it closer to the damn house. 

"Alright, gotta call my uncle. He'll take care of this one...We just gotta get it closer to the house." Nodding, was he looking around for something. Until he let his bow down onto the ground beside me, grabbing the decent size log bringing it closer. "Can ya run back on over to the shed, grab the rope. It's by the...The fishin' gear." Removing the rifle from my shoulders did I make the effort into running towards the shed. 

Finally making it back did I have trouble seeing in the dark of this shady little structure, taking out my phone helped in the littlest bit. But it was the window in the back that shined the most to the cement bucket of fishing rods, and right beside that was the given binding of ripe. Grabbing that, in hopes no spiders found it as a decent living area. Before shutting the shed and returning back to Daryl, who still couched down. In complete awe of the kill.   
"Find any more damn deer out on your way back."   
"I didn't know if I had to shoot it." As I kneed back on down beside him, as he untied the rope to make the decent size. Did he begin to feel around for his knife. "Nah, Merle and I we whistle. Just a quick little second, doesn't spook 'em." He continued to explain, so the next time I will be able to get his attention. But when he finally sighed did I reach into my other pocket to reveal my given knife. 

"Always carryin' this thin'?"   
"Yeah."   
"Ever needa use it?" There came a time when I felt threatened, and I held it behind my back in preparation if the said man was going to come closer to me. But he didn't, so my answer was a clear-cut 'almost,' in regard to his question.

As he tied the legs of the deer to the log, binding it with rope. Did he make it easier to carry, but worrying considering how heavy and how we are going to have to walk. "Aight, don't want no blood on our jackets." He was very serious in providing the warning, making me chuckle as I took the end of the deer. Throwing it the good ways over my shoulder, the problem was. He was the given few inches bigger than me, so it faltered down at an angle. Good thing I got the end.

"Was that what the bow training was? You want to take me hunting?" I saw his head turn back towards me, to see how I was doing or to see my reaction to my own question. But instead, did I practice with my stomping nosies, awaiting his response. "Not as long as me and Merle. Maybe a good two, three days. Ain't nothin' big. But ya did good today, must be ya perfume. Smells too good to be on out here." I snickered, trying to hide it in my shoulder as we continued to walk. Thinking he was gleaming with content at this massive win for the day. He didn't even have to go hunting to get this one, it just stumbled too close to the house.

But this new feeling of killing didn't sink in until now, and I had to remind myself that it was going to die no matter if I shot it or not. This was just a quicker and easier death than it suffering from Daryl's arrow lodged inside of it.

"What's your uncle do with it?"   
"Knows a guy, sells it. Not much of a process." Nodding along was I soon out of breath, luckily we made it to the given gravel driveway to allow up to set it down on an elevated surface. Letting it just hang on to log in the given air. 

"Wanna beer?" I was quick to respond, almost like a groan if you will considering how much I craved any sort of drink.

He hurried off to the house to grab the six pack, and before long we were at the given lawn chairs we were meant to sit by hours prior. But now we had the added bonus of a deer just bleeding out behind us, and the well deserved drink along with it. "Deserve this one, booya!" We cheer the bottles together before I took the decent gulp of the drink. Letting the cooling relief just sink on in, especially since the chair was just stationed perfectly with the fire pit.

This was perfect. Utterly perfect.

"Think ya want ya knife back?" He questioned, making me rise up. Patting my pocket as if I thought I had it on me the entire time, he was so focused on transporting the deer he must have just slid it back into his pocket.

He was quick to give it to me, guess he knows it's the 'sentimental value' on one particular thing in my life. "My 'sisters'...We all have one. Engraved our names...Thought it was something we could do for one another."   
"That's better than bracelets." He chuckled, I didn't even know he was ready to smoke up until now. His voice turned into a mumble simulating the addition of a cigarette in his mouth. 

Ultimentally, I was content with my beer.

"When ya turnin' 18? Buy ya own cigarettes?" I huffed out a laugh, just thinking how much I'll be able to do by then. Cigarettes are one thing, my idea of tattoos is another.   
"I'm counting down the days...It's next month." The rising grin on his face indicated something, making me just question it further. "Got that look on ya face, I know that look. Had it too."   
"Which was?"   
"Plannin' on gettin' any ink?" Taking the given sip did I try to deny it, but just nodding along without his moving gaze would he think it was stupid.

"I know a good guy if ya serious, right outside Atlanta." Again did I nod, probably needed to start that scheduling if I was actually in favor of it. The idea in my mind was simple, but it was if I wanted to add more subtract from the given design.

All matching the one I drew on my bike.

"Did you call your uncle?"   
"Yeah, he's on his way. Yellin' on in the phone 'how the hell ya manage that?' Gotta story to tell Blake." I never met another one of Daryl's family members, and to think meeting his uncle out of everyone. Not his father or mother, or anyone of the sort.   
"Merle's gonna shit his pants when he hears this." The excitement he was still feeling was a change, especially when he managed to smile every second of every minute. However he maintained that was another added benefit to the cause, he looked more than happy right now.


	27. -CollidingProject-

The relaxing afternoon soon began to shift into a darker array, the sun was hiding behind the clouds for most of the day. Daryl was nice enough to get the blanket from the pickup to give to me, but even then I ended up just sitting on his lap. Cuddling by the fire as he dug his swirling finger into my skin. "People saw us leave to the pickup on New Years." With one single huff of air open into the dropping sunlight, was the interpreted into a laugh in the utmost. "Who's tellin' ya that?"   
"Shawn."   
"Told ya he likes ya." Moving my body upward did I see he wasn't looking to me, like his eyes were dark and possessive. A trait I am all too familiar with, which made my heart began to beat on heavily as he still did not look towards me.

And when he finally did, did his eyes turn into something so soft that even I couldn't manage to be afraid of it. They were warm and welcoming, making my anxiety calm down entirely. "Do you like me?" The reaction wasn't a normal one, for he froze right on up. Not even flicking the cigarette he was about to do, instead, did he just let it hang. And since my eyes were so concentrated at that, I didn't realize he was looking straight into mine.   
"Guess I ain't doin' that good of a job if ya askin'..." 

It was sort of an answer, but it brought more questions in its wake. Did he consider this a date? Did I consider this a date? We weren't regular people to have a sit-down meal or anything in the sort of nature in that context.

My response was put on hold as a car came on into the driveway, with my body leaning on up to make sure my bike wasn't in harm's way, had Daryl look behind him as well. He was quick to lift me on up to my feet, my arms still holding on tight to the blanket around my shoulders now.

I haven't met anyone in his family besides his brother, and in truth did I meet his brother first. Not long after did I hear the man holler out Daryl's name, they both halfway as they began conversing. 

Leaving the blanket on the chair did I follow through to them both, his uncle's eyes stared directly at me when I made my way towards them. "Where've you been hidin' her Dare? Names Jess." The man moved aside Daryl to let out his hand for a shake, which I was quick to take an offer.

The obvious amount of chewing tobacco in his mouth almost made me want to vomit, might as well smoke. Nothing more than ruining your teeth quicker like that, and needing to spit every other minute or sentence like he was. "This is Blake, she's the one who shot the poor bastard." As the conversation turned back towards the deer, the main reason the uncle made the appearance. Did I follow shortly behind, and the laughter that came to the new man before me had me smile again at the thought. "Well darlin' we gotta work on your aim...Will home?" Daryl was quick to shake his head, I was going to question who Will was. But the strange looks given in my direction was the understanding they made with one another. 

Is that his father? Nobody else lives here besides Merle and Daryl, but even their mother I haven't heard about...There is a lot I don't know about the Dixon family. Especially the man just itching to hold onto my waste. "Help me to load him onto the truck, Jim's gonna be in for a treat...Where'd ya kill 'em?"   
"Right on over that way, halfway from here to the openin' in the woods. Just shootin' targets, comin' back on this way when Blake saw it." 

The smiles in my direction turned, guess my reputation continues to grow more positive. And it all started with me selling at my own brother's party. So hurrying along did I open the back of Jess's pick up truck to let it sit comfortably in. Probably have to get moving, unless it can just stay dead without bugs finding it's way through the cracks. 

"I'll call ya tomorrow, see what's up with this thing...She's a keeper D." His uncle was just standing at the step up of his truck, rising tall above it to yell his opinion on the matter. And beyond all else, did Daryl's hand finally set around my waist to pull me close as he waved on free with his other one. 

Not much of a goodbye, but the second the car rolled on out of the driveway did he come up from behind. Hugging me like we were almost getting towards if his uncle didn't make the appearance. "I might start calling you D."   
"Lil late for nicknames ain't it?" He said, his voice just growing closer and closer to eliminate my sense of thought and movement. Especially when we sat back down by the fire, being away from it for so long had my chill return back towards me. 

"Any plans for tonight?" He still managed to lure me in with his husky voice, all I had done in the split second was look on up towards him. Given my head was resting just on his chest and the crook of his neck. 

But the ever beginning poke managed to seep through, I didn't want to say that I knew. So I laughed in his hold, he too shifted his arm back on over me and groaned. Boys will be boys, through and through.   
"Think I have to be home soon." He nodded along, but his built up courage and fidgeting of one entire leg just bouncing up and down were oddly confusing to me. Was that a tactic guys use, or is he contemplating something?   
"Shawn say anythin' on what he saw? Bet that asshole took a peak." My mouth gawked open at what he spoke, making me rise up before him. This time shifting my weight so that both my knees held him captive. "No audience here..." I whispered, making his hands trails down my stomach down to my waist. Before pulling up as his hand just felt on my ass. Pushing up and around as he stared on up at me, his head pushing back against the back of the chair.   
"Ain't forcin' ya into nothin' Blake. Want ya to be ready, ya hear?"

Nodding, did I fix my position before leaning down to kiss him. And he was quick to allow me the pure pleasure of not being in control for once. His intoxicating smell was something I craved, having me go deeper into his neck. Finding the little secret weapon against his body, and not only was his hiding groan difficult to hide. He tried to stay in tune with where we were heading with this, wherever it was going.

Moments turned into minutes, and as soon as my body began to rock back and forth. Simulating the first night at the lake, did my smile sneak through the next kiss directed to his lips. Having him chuckle content. 

But like all good things, does a phone begin to ring. It wasn't mine, believe it or not. This one had a blaring sound, piercing through my ear drum so it could be heard and we could be interrupted. As he began to reach for it, all while trying to continue his hand motions around my back and down my waist. Was it teasing enough to have his risk a moan on the open lined call. 

"When do ya need it by?...A month? Bro ya gotta be shittin' me...Nah nah, I got it. I'll figure it on out. Night." The call was relatively quick, and although I invested my thoughts into making him want to moan out. I stopped once he began to grow heated in anger. Whatever they were discussing wasn't a good subject, or else he wouldn't have gotten the grunting voice to lay waste to the person on the other line.

"Everything alright?" 

"Yeah...Fuckin' rich white guy brought in some shitty bikes, wants us to fix em up. Gotta month to do it." The project seemed interesting enough to say the least. "Do you want some help?...It'd go quicker...Teach me more about-"

"Ya sure? They look like they crawled outta hell." I chuckled, telling him it was his call if he wanted my help. And although we both lost the urge to continue our session, it brought us to the discussion of this project.

Two dirt bikes needing our attention.


	28. -Tension&Chaos-

I rode on home that night, having ideas plastered into my head of how this large project would turn out to be. And although my midterms are coming up, I don't doubt the fact that this is the perfect getaway in relief. Even in that mindset, most of my classes are fueled by an average setter, so the only three finals I am meant to take is English, Law and perhaps Psychology if all doesn't go too well.

Even now, as try to take notes. I feel conflicted about whether or not this midterm will be the end of me or not. 

The week flew by like that, and when I say that. I mean I cannot even remember the single moment I had to myself. With all the tests and final opportunities to pull up grades, I've been stressed beyond belief. It was just the given luck that there's a four day weekend, some sort of day off for faculty purposes and then MLK gets a holiday. 

But with that, is there a paragraph response in law class of why we have this day off, and why we commemorate it. At one point or another will I learn that with long breaks comes homework. However, I managed to finish it before heading back to Daryl's house.   
He claimed that he has both bikes there at the moment, and since we are trying to go cheap as possible because this asshole buyer was more than rude. It was my job to find the little parts and pieces within the barn. Michael wouldn't mind, to be honest, he hasn't been home for the majority of the week. My mother made it a mission to talk to me for a few minutes every day, but this 'Junior year' was kicking my ass. Not like I needed it when I already completed it last damn year.

Stopping by to get us both some food, did I figure we'd both need to eat if it wasn't already past four o'clock. We'd go well into the night like I told Jarod a few days early. Not enough time to set up another party, but enough to warn him in advance if he wanted a few friends over or to watch Mickey.

Having the food in my backpack did I rush back on over towards his house, turning the direct corner to get to his yard. And in doing so did I see his figure back behind his house, already working on one of the two. 

As I took my sweet time to get off my bike, removing my helmet did I see him rush on over. Rag in hand trying to wipe down his already black hands. "Hell ya been?" Removing my bag from my shoulder did I rest it on my bike, pulling out the food bag to show him. Making his head lean on back to groan into the air. "Fuckin' killin' me Blake." With my bag back over my shoulder and the food in one hand did I continue walking towards him as he went over what we needed to do. 

But not before giving me a small kiss on the cheek.

And by one look of the damn thing, did I begin to shake my head. "What did he do to them?!" I muttered, taking hold of the bikes handle. Feeling the true empathy of this poor vehicle. "Comeon, we'll put 'em in the garage. Gonna get dark soon anyhow." I nodded, getting a firm grip on the one I was already holding before kicking up the stand keeping it level. Not only were the tires out of the air just by one feeble push, but I could hear the chipping sound of rust coming straight from the frame.

The garage he had stationed was large enough to work side by side. And the light was better than anything in the barn I have set up, so we worked. Either in the silence or with the given blair of the radio behind me. 

As I set my hand trying to get the dirt and whatever else was lodged up this poor thing, did I see him just resting his two elbows on my project.   
"I hate when you have that smirk on your face, means you're planning something." He chuckled, allowing himself to just twist and fiddle with the flat head. Which I needed at the moment to unscrew the given piece to get the shit still lodged in there, so I grabbed it from him with a smile and continued with the work.   
"Ever ride one of these before?" Shaking my head, just showing the disgusting treasure I found within this. Crumbled up a newspaper and whatever else was inside it, before throwing it to the side and grabbing for more.   
"Only ever fixed them, be a miracle if these things run again." The genuine question turned to him, and he only rode them to test if they were running smoothly. And I knew in that instant where he was going with that sort of response. "We're both wearing helmets," I muttered, looking up at him when I was finished with the small sentence. And he nodded in agreement, but when he removed himself from my project. Did I see he went on over towards the fridge in the corner, and before I knew it. A beer was placed before me. "Workin' for a good three hours."   
"Don't tell me Dixon's giving up?"

Him taking a slouch down onto his tall stool had me shake my head. Still planning on what to do with these fucking things was a heartache. "When's your brother coming home?"   
"Soon. Gonna be real happy when he hears the deer story." I chuckled, he still gives me shit about it. Even asked me if I wanted the antlers, but there wasn't a bit of me that wanted the plate that states the first animal I've killed.

"You're going to hold that against me forever, aren't you?" That's when he rose back up from his chair, coming off behind to level down. "Ya bet ya sweet ass I am." He whispered, before laughing his sentence off in clear entertainment to himself.

Rising up with him did he just continue to cruise around the area of the garage, until I too came off behind him. Hugging from behind, allowing him the given smile to escape his lips. "Ya likin' it here so far?" He questioned, the quick sip of beer to counteract my thought in a way he was actually asking. So instead did I pull away, grabbing the small handkerchief from his back pocket and begin to wipe my hands free of the dirt and grime that found it's way onto me. "I'm genially surprised. Thought it was going worse." 

"Yeah, whatcha think was gonna happen?" Shrugging as I mocked his action from earlier, did I honestly not know what to say. My life before this was completely and utterly different than where I am now. So much so that I actually found someone that I like, couldn't say that back in CT.

Hearing the sound of a car make its way through to the driveway did I smile back, Daryl has been waiting to tell his brother about the deer for over a week now. And to be honest I was as excited as him to see the full reaction of his brother on what happened. Only it seemed like he brought a friend considering the two voices coming about.

I couldn't make out what they were saying, but Daryl's frozen position had me go straight to him to question. "Blake...Ya gotta go." It was no longer the friendly man I just witnessed, he was in panic.   
Sheer and undeveloped panic, and for whatever reason I questioned it. "What? Why?"   
"Blake...Please...Ya gotta go, if he sees ya he'll-...He'll freak out. I don't want ya to see it aight?" He started grabbing my stuff together, more or less just handing me my backpack off the floor. But it wasn't until they were about halfway to the garage did I ask the simple question of "Who?" And as demanding as it was. I wanted-needed to know what was happening.

"My dad...Aight? Just...Go on in the house, third door on the left. Just stay in there, I'll get ya in a minute." He led me to the door that attached to his house, and the second he closed it did I feel intoxicated by the alarming amount of either smoke, whether it be pot or tobacco. Still lingered throughout the house, but it was growing the sense of the voice in the garage, followed by Daryl's that allowed me to keep moving. 

My heart was beating faster and faster, and his words provided a rhythm to continue afoot. But the body I soon bumped into scared me even more. "Blake?...Hell ya doin' here?" As I was about to speak, did I point my thumb back behind me. Pleading eyes followed the desperate approach as I tried to tell him what happened, but even I couldn't explain what it was.   
"Aw shit...Comeon. We gotta get ya outta here." I nodded, following him out through the front room as we exited at the main house. However they didn't see my bike was the main issue, but him gripping my wrist to hurry it on up scared me even more. "Why was Daryl so..." I couldn't even finish my question before he hid me behind the pickup, pulling my bike on around for me as he quickly began pushing it to the beginning of the driveway. I knew where this was going, I couldn't leave in said area. 

Make it seem like I'm passing by. "Scared? Hell hun I'm scared for ya...Our daddy ain't no saint. Best be on ya way, be safe. Ya hear?" I nodded, grabbing my helmet off and securing my backpack onto my shoulders as I threw over the one leg I needed to place myself onto the bike. "Thank you," I said, before starting up my bike. He nodded, blowing a sarcastic kiss in my direction, but the fact that even he too admitted to being scared, scared me into a massive question of 'what happens in that house?'

What Merle said to me back at the bar when I was mad at Daryl for the ridiculous reason soon became easier to understand, I couldn't go to his house because Will was over.   
Will Dixon. 

A man that I can't even begin to imagine that worries Daryl to the point of rushing me out of the room to his.

I was fortunate for Merle being there because I doubt I'd be able to wait out the time frame for him to sneak me on out. Gripping the handle allowed me to head home faster, but the moment I removed the helmet inside the barn. I felt the sensation again, how odd everything was. 

Asking questions about who he was and what he did still didn't feel right, but I can't seem to handle it when he still calls me by my middle name. Sends the clear message, and what sends an even clearer message is the multiple texts and calls I received from my ride on over. And in the midst of trying to read them all, do I receive another one.   
"Dare calm down...I was driving home." Hearing his panic voice mumble on call was again, worrying to the point of no return. Letting my helmet rest onto my bike, and grabbing the things out of the pockets of my bike so I don't mistakenly take them to work tomorrow did I still have the phone up against my ear. "Is everything alright?"   
"I told ya to stay in the room...You could've been-"   
"Daryl, Merle walked me out. I'm alright. Alright?" That silenced him, my quick reaction to his brother helping us both out let him take a deep breath and calmed him down.

I knew what he was doing, he was probably chain-smoking the entire time he was trying to get ahold of me. "Listen B, I gotta go. He's in a mood...I'll-" The sounds in the background weren't all that pleasant, and the muffle of his hand against the speaker just added to my worry. "Is everything alright?" I questioned, stopping every muscle in my body until he responded back. And even then was it moments later. "Yeah...I'll talk to ya tomorrow."   
"Okay...You can always stay here if you need to..." He silently agreed before a quick 'bye,' and I was left with nothing more than that.

The amount of fear in his eyes still haunted me, and me being completely clueless didn't help the situation either. If it wasn't for Merle, I don't know what would have happened. Jess doesn't seem all that bad, I don't get why Will would be?


	29. -WakeUpCall-

Daryl didn't call me the next morning, or texted, or anything. I was worried, not only was I in question of every given moment of what happened yesterday. There was a part of me that expected that he won't be going to school the next few days, 'gone hunting' type idea.

This part of me knew what was going in his family but didn't want to say it out loud, or even think the idea could be a reality.

If it weren't for the sudden appearance of their dad, I would have assumed they lived on their own. But even their bills by deers and bikes can't be paying that type of house. Not even across the town in where they live.

Another uncertainty I had, is where is his mother? If she is still in the picture, if anything will help me now in understanding what is going on. It'd be that.

Saturday passed into Sunday. And Sunday passed into Monday, and like I expected. He wasn't in school. Nor the next. Or even the day after that. The worst part of it wasn't even the questions I was getting at school and I couldn't answer, it was me wanting to go to their house but not being able to.

If I were to return to the one place I was secretly taken out of, then perhaps I'll find out what would have happened Friday when I was hauled out. Instead, I waited and waited.   
But waiting took longer than anticipated. Throughout most of the week did I leave texts, a voice mail or two. But they always seemed to stay on the ring until I left it to another time to call. 

They always consisted of 'Hey Dare...It's me. Call me back when you can...Bye' And nothing more, perhaps if I had more information about whatever the hell is going on. Then I can figure it all out.

To say I was upset was an understatement, whether he was trying to protect me or whatever his plan was for not telling me. I felt like I was powerless to help, even sitting in my room staring up at the ceiling did I find myself just awake as ever. Craving sleep but not fulling achieving it even if I could.

It felt hazy. It felt like I needed to smoke. All these judgments being clouded the entire week had me sneak up on top of the school's roof to sneak one in. My study hall teacher just assumed I went to the bathroom, but the fact that I could get caught doing that turned me off the said idea.

I missed him.   
Knowing how odd that sounded, I hated myself for even feeling this way. How much he dictated my thoughts and emotions to the point of over obsessing, flipping over and over to find a comfortable position never worked.

The house was empty. It was Friday, Michael and mom are out and about with Mickey. Jarod's at a party or something of the sort. And I'm left alone in this big open house with nothing left to do other than sleep.

But I can't even manage that anymore, because of how much I miss him. And in that instant, did I throw over covers and march downstairs to make myself a tea. Water in the kettle, do I wait patiently until it is heated up properly, but even then...Standing in the large kitchen with no one in the house, did I feel a bit scared.

Not as if someone would be in the house, but scared as in...Alone.

Maybe it was coming from the claustrophobic feel of the 'all-girls home', or anything in the sense. But my abandonment issues surely sparked up again, and as my therapy would predict, find a new therapist.

At one point or another I stopped going, I didn't need them. There wasn't anything the new one could tell me that the previous dozen didn't already know or say. My scars are psychological and physical, those being on my back as faint as they are.

The whistling sound of the kettle made had me jump moving quickly around the island to take it off the stove. The burning metal was tipped upwards down into my cup and onto the bag. Allowing it the given minute to blend, and the added bit of sugar and milk deemed it worthy and warm enough to drink. 

Why was it that I didn't feel like I was in high school at this particular moment? That my problems seemed bigger than normal? I felt alone in this big house and I couldn't do anything about it. Sitting here with the family all out. I assume they thought I had plans or work all things considering.

With my two cups finished and warm inside my stomach, did I make my way back up into bed. Feeling the needed drowsiness I craved from the start, resting my tied up hair down to the pillow and my hand tucked between the two to mount it better. Finally giving me the satisfaction I needed in falling asleep.

*

The repetitive tapping continued to grow in sound, thinking it was the heater was my first idea. Allowing me to go back asleep, but when it continued to happen and at a much quicker rate. Did I turn my nightstand light on and investigate the problem, all while rubbing my eyes that massed with sleep. Confused at what the problem was, did I just kick it hoping it would stop. 

But instead did the sound appear again, but it wasn't the heater at all. It was something being thrown against my window, and my first thought being Jarod locked himself out of the house. So leaning on into the couched seating of the window bay did I push it on up.   
"Ya gotta minute?" The voice yelled, at first I was confused. Scratch that, I was on another planet. Daryl no doubly came in the middle of the fucking night to throw rocks at my window is asking if I have a minute. And looking down at him as he fumbles the pebbles from my driveway do I just nod. "I'll be down in a second." Was all I yelled back, closing my window did I take a decent breather.

All my unanswered questions cane finally come to an opening, and so as I went to my bed to the door to head downstairs. Did I see my clock read the numbers '2:41' whatever he was doing at this sort of time out and about was mind-blowing.

Taking my sweater to zip up over my t-shirt because I couldn't find a bra at the moment. Did I race downstairs, putting the lights on ever so often so I can head back upstairs when this conversation takes a turn for the worst. I don't plan on it doing so, but I can see where this is headed.

Opening the door outside, so I take my mom's fluffy shoes just to make it outside through to the porch. "Ya didn't have to wake everyone up." He chuckled, coming closer to the steps and coming into the light. I hid the smile because it was good to hear his voice again after not seeing him for so long. But I couldn't just pretend I wasn't upset. 

He had me worried. More than worried even, he had me frightened.  
"Nobodies home," I mumbled, making sure the door behind me is still the crack bit open so I can head on in. He nodded, just shifting his hands further into the pockets of his jacket. But the second I leaned against the wall behind me, crossing my arms over one another to hear what he has to say.

In the back of my mind did I hear my therapist tell me I'm 'closing up my walls,' but what else was I suppose to do? "Then maybe ya can help me out...?" He came fully into the light, and in that sheer moment did I see the bruised eye and torn lip. The second I managed to let my eyes adjust to see it. Did I come closer, letting my hand tilt up his head to see it more clearly.

Opening the door did I let him follow me inside, pointing to the chair as I went to the bathroom to get the first aid kit. The same one that helped him beforehand, when he fought Jarod that is.

"What happened?" I asked, still somewhat asleep from the whole thing. Being woken up at this time of night, him coming over after this type of fight? All after a week of not seeing him?   
"Got heated...Pretty heated. Busted up my knuckles again." His chuckle was sweet as he didn't want me to worry and he didn't say anything about a 'who' or 'where' or even a 'why' response. 

Judging by his breath, the heavy lure of alcohol was present as well. He was drunk, more or less so. "I don't see you for a week, and you get into a fight?" I questioned, sticking the special tape onto his over the cut of his eye before moving to the knuckles. And in which case they were never easy to mend, all I did was clean them the last time. But perhaps I can sneak in the bandage since he isn't here per say.   
"Knew ya be mad..."  
"I said come over when if you need to, and you did. I'm not mad, I'm confused...And you're being too fucking vague." My voice started to rise, showing how cranky I was after finally unlocking the good moments of sleep I had since the beginning of this whole missing persons. But I moved away to get his black eye an ice pack, and that was all the help I could manage for him.

But since no one was home, I told him to spend the night. And he fully expected, that and because I didn't want him to drive drunk. He thought it was a question, but it was a demand. "Are you hungry? There's leftovers..." Him eyeing the massive plate of pasta that mom had cooked for both Jarod and I when she knew they wouldn't be home. Did I smile at the thought, I don't think he's eating as much as he should. 

Maybe that's why I think to give him a proper meal or a little bit of it whenever I see him, so making him a plate. Did I heat it up in the microwave as he sat down in the chair before me. This was more than odd and nothing that I would've expected.

With the question being blared out by the beep of the microwave, did I hand him his plate and a fork before getting him something to drink with it. My family wasn't too big on beer, so there wasn't enough to misplace one. Instead, did I grab him a glass of water. Not the best thing, but probably better to allow food and water into the system as he seems to need it for the hangover that will erupt tomorrow. 

"Want to tell me who you got into a fight with?" Was all I asked, fiddling with my thumb, but seeing his head shake so silently did I know he was embarrassed. He didn't look good for winning a fight, so I doubt that was the outcome. "When you're done you're going to take a shower...Alright?" He was reluctant to nod, but I don't think he had it in him to disagree. 

Leaving him downstairs for a moment do I look in my closet for anything that he could wear, and the only thing that might fit him would be the oversized sweatpants I brought with me here.

Returning back downstairs did I see he placed his dish in the sink, offering the sorry excuse of a smile did I knick my head forward for him to follow. Passing along the t-shirt and sweatpants as I directed him to the bathroom. 

He was a big boy and I would think he'd know how to use a shower. But he was so silent that it sort of worried me, whatever happened, whatever initiated the fight I wanted to know.

Allowing the privacy and not standing by the door did I just head back downstairs, trying to sort out my thoughts as I washed his dishes, dried them and put them away. And even after scrubbing it down for five minutes too long, and walking around the kitchen like I didn't know where anything is. He still was not out of the shower.

Again...He's acting like me when I first got here, a nice clean shower. The homey feel, it wasn't all that exciting until he came into my room with a towel over his shoulders still drying his hair.

He was tired and in pain, but again he didn't say a word. Just standing the foot of my bed unsure of what to do now. The lights were all off and I was just sitting in bed waiting for him, but the second I moved the comforter flap upwards did he come right on in. 

To say I was mad was an understatement, I don't honestly what I am right now. But tired might win the overall feeling at the moment, however, the moment he wrapped his arms around me. Intaking my entire body into his hold, I sighed with content. Even in his silence is he trying to win me over, and instead of being mean did I just behind and give a small kiss on the cheek. And continue to hold him back. He was surely upset, trying to mask it beforehand with a clean joke. But it didn't work.

With my head just onto his chest now, did he lay one final kiss on top of my head in response to me helping him.   
We didn't say goodnight, we didn't hold a conversation. We couldn't, for his light breathing filled the room almost instantly.


	30. -SleepOver-

Nothing woke me up, that much was clear. Nothing but the warmth that surrounded my body turned intoxicating to even think about. But it all felt so familiar, I knew by the bed that I wasn't in the foster home. The body on my chest was a reminder of the young children who felt scared enough to sleep with me.

The thing is, this wasn't a scared child. This was Daryl holding me close and breathing in and out so lightly, that he must still be asleep. I couldn't even manage to see his calm face this time around, for he was hiding it under his bangs more less. Just letting flop onto my t-shirt I slept in. 

Not wanting to move enough to have him wake up, did I just push away the hair that might be poking his eye. And in doing so did he begin to stir awake, his eyes slowly opening a few blinks a time before looking on up towards me. "Shh...Go back to sleep." I whispered, still scratching his head away from his eyes. They were growing very long in regard to the first time I met him, passing his eyes was it a good look on him to say the least. 

But he didn't listen when I told him to go back to sleep, instead, he continued to blink his eyes. Trying to wake himself up, if that was his goal it would have made more sense to move around. Instead he stayed planted between my breasts, his arms just laying over my stomach to fasten the hold. "I missed ya..." He mumbled, seemingly into my stomach as he moved to look on up towards me. His black eye darkened the littlest bit, but the purple was the given sign that it was healing.

At least...I hope it is.

Allowing my hand to cup his cheek was I still in question what made him come over last night. My final guess is that he had nowhere else to go, but even then did I not want to ask, not again. If he's ready then he'll tell me. "I'm right here." His growl of a response had me freeze my motion of playing with his hair, I couldn't help it. The soft dirty color was adorable to mess with, and he never had me stop in any sense.   
"I didn't wanna...I didn't wanna scare ya after what happened."   
"You scared me anyway. D, you were out of school for the entire week." He sighed back into my hold before he pulled, sitting up and looking around the room like he was confused on coming in here. Or why he was here. 

"I ain't good for ya." He mumbled, but the second I rose up behind him. Wanting to interlock hand so he would stop fidgeting for the moment to talk, made him remove the covers.   
"Gotta take a piss."

Leaving me in the middle of my bed, with the covers just above my waist. Did I too get on up, the dance Jarod went to with Maddie was last night, followed by an after party. My guess is that he's not going to be coming home anytime soon, especially hungover or at Maddie's house I assume.

When he returned I managed to change into leggings and a lighter sweater. Not knowing what was going to happen today or anything in the works of his thinking. But one thing was for sure, he needed to eat something. Especially to get rid of that hangover, so as the man before me was scratching his head. I took his free one and dragged him downstairs, mindful that no cars are in the parking lot or texts saying that anyone is coming home.

"You want to tell me what really happened last night?" He shook his head as he plumped his body back into the seat from last night, followed by his head being propped up by his resting elbow. 

I too began to shake my head, steam just rising to the ceiling at the way this conversation came and went. And instead of pressing it any further, did I grab the given food options I had before me. In one pan did I have scrambled eggs, a little bit of chopped up onions, cheese and peppers to go with it. While in the other pan, which was going to be his surprise of bacon. Because what is a better bride than bacon?

His senses knew the second I began to cut the pieces in half, allowing more onto the pan and a given share. Not wanting to use the whole package did I go back to the fridge before quickly returning to the eggs, turning them onto the other side so they could cook properly.

The second the bacon was done and onto another plate, did I see him come on the bit closer. Like an animal slowly creeping up to just pounce on the pray, and before his finger could take a piece of the finished bacon. I slapped his finger away and pointed to him like he was a child. "You didn't tell me what happened yet."   
"Ya fuckin' cruel." He mumbled, again rubbing his eye to his palm. Resting his entire body to the island, no longer sitting down, but not standing beside me either. "Yeah well, it happens when someone wakes you up in the middle of the night."   
"'m sorry." Looking to my right, seeing the smallest bit of his expression did I see he wasn't lying. The apologetic look he giving off was more than I could have accounted for. "Who was in the fight?"   
"Kid from school, ya wouldn't know him." His growl escaped him, but I just came to the conclusion of what must have happened. The mimic of a school event usually ends in one thing...  
"I knew there was a bonfire last night." That's when his reaction built upon the lie I so cleverly sought out, was he really that keen on not mentioning that part. I want to know what happened, and I am going to find out either way. Making it sound like I knew was better than just claiming to figure it out. But instead, did I take a piece of bacon and hand it to him without giving him the displeasing look I was trying to hold in. He was reluctant in taking it because it stayed in my had for a few seconds before he snatched it out and went again, leaning in front of me almost protecting the bacon. "Where'd ya learn how to cook?"  
"Take a wild guess." Was all I said, trying to get the bangs out of my hair while simultaneously flipping both foods.   
"Ya don't have to keep feedin' me."   
"I'm worried you're not eating." 

He was savoring the bacon, I saw it by the way he chewed. Taking small bites and letting himself enjoy it. Even the burgers I brought him last week didn't get devoured like I thought they would. "Ya free today?" The question rang through his mind, and although I wasn't working today on either job. The anger was still within me and my soul, so my immediate reaction is to be sarcastic. "I have a lot of homework to do...Hey! You're not being straight with me. I'm not stupid."   
"Someone's feisty." My glare at his sudden arousal at my risen voice shocked not only me, but himself as well. Seeing as how he was leaning slowly in for the smallest kiss he could possibly have done.

"You can tell me anything...Probably seen and heard worse." I mumbled the last bit, but he reluctantly sighed once again. He was going to tell me, the puppy dog look he had one he just wanted me to push him further, so he'd crack. "Took somethin' I shouldn't have...Blake it was only a little bit and-"   
"'and everyone was doing it so I needed to?' Ever hear the bridge saying because I'm about to yank it out." 

He was gritting his teeth, and I don't blame him. I didn't need this influence around me, maybe he was right. That he wasn't good for me, but I was good for him. "Please...Tell me it wasn't-"   
"No. It wasn't." 

Letting the breath out was a relief, he knew what I was going to ask. But even then did I not even want to know, enough to get him fucked up to fight someone. My first instant was coke, because it makes people aggressive and deranged. Praying that I never see him like, I won't ever forgive myself or him in that sense. "What was it?"   
"...Shrooms..."

Closing my eyes did I realize that I was, in fact, right about the bonfire, everyone would do it there and it was going to happen eventually. I just feel bad for whoever he fought. "Please...Gotta say somethin'."   
"Do I?" My glare was now directed at him, not realizing how much time has passed that everything was done being cooked. And I was just filling up his plate, along with the toast and coffee that I ended up brewing anyway.

Even if he claims it's 'shit' he still drinks it without anything more to add, him nodding as hard as he began to push me further on edge. He came to me which I'm glad, but even then could my family been home to see a stranger knocking on my window. No doubt Michael would flip shit. "I'm not going to try and control you, if I have to bail you out...You better be ready for me to beat your ass." Letting my sentence break apart due to me wanting to take a bite of food. Allowed me to scare him with my fork pointing right on in his direction.   
"Yes ma'am." Shaking my head did I continue to eat, and even now did I probably scare him enough in the sense that I would to something drastic. I felt betrayed and all he could do was say sorry. 

Which wasn't helping in the least bit.

"We good?" My eyes connected with his faster than I would have liked, but that is what the mind does when you hear a noise. It jerks forward the motion, so I nodded. "We're good for now." 

Him continuing to rub his only good eye, did I go towards the medicine cabinet and grab the Advil he needed to wake the hell up without a headache being in the way. He swallowed it with the coffee, but even then did it take the decent twenty minutes to kick in. And there he returned, for a grumpy moment that is. "Whatcha want for ya birthday?" The question shot me back, almost making me spit up the last remaining bit of my coffee. But I swallowed the rest of it down before gasping for air. His chuckle might have rang through the air, but he was being a hundred percent serious. "You don't have to get me anything you've-"   
"'done enough' ya keep sayin' that...Comeon, I'm askin'." There wasn't really anything I needed, but the idea I had was enough to let him in on what I wanted to do anyway. "Still was thinking about getting a tattoo." The entire room filled with Daryl's laughter as he called it the weeks prior to the conversation, claiming I had the look of wanting ink. 

"Can take a trip up to Atlanta, stay there for a couple of days...But be back in time for school starts." My scowl had him add the last bit of it, I didn't want to miss school. Especially with the new semester just around the corner, the horridness of it all wasn't worth the overall stress it was causing me and my sleep schedule. "Gotta bring the I.D though,"   
"Why would I-"   
"Ah ah ah, that's a surprise Blake. Can't tell ya 'till then."

Squinting my eyes towards him the entire way he made from his seat to the sink, did I begin to twist my head back and forth. Condoning this behavior of letting him get off the hook. But I can make this just as nerve racking for him. "When's your birthday?" "Don't like where this is goin'." Tilting my head just the smallest bit as I stared deep into his eyes, even when they were blocked by the singularity of his bangs. "...March..."   
"I already have something in mind..."

My response was dead set on the money as I found my way around the island from my position to come up right to him, trying to level with his tall frame wasn't doing the trick. But when I reached before his ear, did I finish the sentence with a whisper. "Wanna share ya plans?" He sucked in air before responding, and instead of any words did I allow my hand to brush up against the center of his waist. My pointer finger beginning to twirl around and around in sheer entertainment to myself. 

"Care to give a little preview?" My smile widened at his careful choice of words, so I did the same. And however cruel this was, it was the killer of it all. "Maybe next time...You'll think about this, before taking the mushrooms." Was the last thing I said before kissing on the cheek, laughing my way back towards the dishes did I hear his husky chuckle make a comeback.

Probably a good couple of minutes before he regained himself to talk again, however, he managed while I finished up the dishes. And just as I was to turn back to look at him, he was already behind me. Strapping his arms against me, thanking me for both the meal and allowing him to stay over.


	31. -Lies-

It was Monday morning already, and there wasn't anything I did over the weekend that stood out. Daryl stayed for the majority of the day on Saturday, he brought the two bikes over from his house, claiming it'd be easier in that regard.

But I just assume he doesn't want another incident or close call to emerge from it. Never the less did I forgive him for coming to me at the oddest hour of the night for help, I rather have him with me than go off somewhere else out of his mind. And maybe I am looking too much into it, but even when he was as fucked up as he was. He managed to come, wish he called, instead of driving. But the past is in the past...Wish I could say that about the mysterious fight.

Never found out what happened in that forefront. Not yet anyhow.

Since I had Law before Psychology today, I had to suffer the extra hour before asking Shawn what had happened. Just assuming he'd know because he's always there one way or another, and judging by his expression of a quick tilt of his eyebrow down...It didn't look all that well.

My heart ached for more than one reason, I knew I wouldn't like what I'm about to hear. Having that senesces of knowing when something bad is about to happen is the ultimate curse and I cannot neglect it at this moment because I need to know what happened.

If it wasn't for the awkwardness from last class that indicated this dreaded feeling. The second my eyes locked with Shawn's it hit me like a train. His lip was cut, and odd marks, almost bits and pieces of being cut appeared around his entire face. Along with the busted lip, Daryl had as well. "Guess the fight got pretty rough?" I said, he nodded. Keeping his lips zipped shut for whatever reason. 

The odometer for this turning from bad to worse just broke. The look in his eyes caused me to ask again, but he shook his head. "He said I'm not allowed to talk to you, guess I have nothing to lose...You didn't tell him we have class together?"   
There was too much in his sudden speech for me to focus on, him 'not allowed to talk' to me was bizarre enough to say the least. But to answer the first question I shook head as well.   
"Never came up...What'd you two fight about?" He chuckled, looking up towards the front of the classroom. Completely missing the introduction to the new topic that is being crammed in for the next few days, the midterm might be a week away. But my sanity is dying at this very moment. "He can't do any more damage...I mentioned Julia and he went all apeshit on me. Threatened me if I told you..." Him being very sarcastic about the whole thing worried me, I never seen Daryl at his meanest. Sure the fight in the hallway was rough, but that was defense. 

If Daryl started the fight that turned physical, along with the added boost on drugs. I wouldn't be able to handle that, even now could I picture him acting like the spitting image of my birth father.

Blinking rapidly did I look back to what he said, and a thousand questions ran through my mind. "Who's Julia?"   
"Exactly." My eyes grew in that very moment, a girl. Was he there with a girl the other night? So he felt guilty? I scoffed at the board before trying to act like I was paying attention. "You have to tell me who she is."   
"I keep forgetting you're still new...Huh, guess they were dating for a good two years, two and a half. Whatever you'd want to call what they did." 

Guess that was the general assumption of why I don't know. Because I'm still sort of new, still trying to get the idea of everyone around me. And to be honest I've kept to myself more or less, I barely know that girl I met at the football game. She seemed nice and all, but I can't even remember her damn name.

"She was at the-"   
"Bonfire? I knew there was a reason you weren't there. God, I'd would have shit my pants if you showed up. Fuck I'd pay for it." How am I suppose to ask him what they did without starting a rumor, taking a deep breath and allowing myself to think calmly about the next question in the 45 minutes I have left of this stupid class.

"You brought me up in conversation? I don't get how the fight started..." He allowed himself the minute to think as well, I felt wrong to ask considering he was probably tripping out on whatever he was potentially on. So it took him a good long minute like it did for me to conjure up the question. "I was probably bein' an asshole, I just mentioned you and went off on me. That's when he threatened me. I don't remember if they did anything like...That, with her. But the second time I came up to him he lost it. Got a few good hits in, and the only reason we stopped is cause Rachel stepped in."

Nodding along will I have to thank Rachel for the assist when I wasn't there, cold heartily have I not keeping any of my promises to her, I'll remember to do it this time around. "Why haven't I heard the name before?"   
"That's cause she doesn't go here. Listen she's weird as fuck. And I'm probably the last person on the plant to judge someone but-"  
I stopped him before he said something too involved with it, but the burning image in my mind of Daryl and another girl sort of...Hurt.

This feeling of vulnerability suck right back in, he slept over my house after whatever happened with her. He said he doesn't date? Even Shawn couldn't give a proper title to their categorization, so what the hell are they. "Heard what you did to poor Dannyboy. If you knock Daryl upside the head, I wanna fucking see it."   
Just sighing into my hand at the sheer factor at that is what I wanted to do, to allow my anger to come out. Like all the years and years of therapy just vanished into a monster of nothingness, and I am left with absolutely no control over my body. "Why is she weird? What does she-"   
"What doesn't she do? I don't remember why they broke up. Hell if they ever, but she was into the upper-level dealings. Wouldn't be surprised if she made it herself."

"He came to my house, guess right after the party...Said I wouldn't know the guy he fought."   
"I'm not lying, I wish I was. But that ain't the case." Backtracking to him coming to my house later today was off the table, I don't think I can see him right now let alone think about fucking psychology.

"I let myself get attached. My fault."   
"No it's not, that's on him. He fucked up." I chuckled, the quick motion of my hand just copying mindlessly of what is on the board was enough to pass the class looking involved. Until we got to our shared textbook work, and I scowled myself for having more questions about the entire thing.

He didn't want to answer, it was fueling my rage and to be honest. I was letting it, if there was any part of me that wasn't prone to eating all this up to fight with him later. Guess my aggression is coming out now, out of all times.

"If he...If he does anything let me know."   
"The one time he's in school?" The low sound of laughter we shared didn't brighten the mood at all, but it settled the undeniable anger that caused my teeth to grip at every moment I wasn't speaking. 

Would this be betraying? Are we dating? It's the mask of questions that are racked up, and it's sad to say the only person I can get it from is Daryl.

The bell rang, much to my own displeasure. My next class included English and I wasn't fond of relearning the curricular from my last school, and what I mean by that. It's exactly, word for the word the same questions. Glad I have my laptop to save me the trouble of rewriting everything there is about 'the grapes of wrath.' 

I hate that book so much.

Again, my teeth were gritting. Even my answers to the poor teacher before me sounded hostile, the aura just floated around me up until lunch. Where I had ignored his text from my study hall to go smoke up on the roof.

I wasn't looking forward to this, not one bit of my body wanted to have a fight. Instead, here I am, waiting by my locker and sorting through the books for the ones I do and don't need. 

Before gripping the bottom of my helmet, and slamming the locker door. And on damn cue did he walk around the corner. Hands deep into his pocket jacket as he makes his way over to me. Trying to distract myself by putting the lock with one hand was all I could muster as he came a foot apart. "Didn't get my text?" Shaking my head did I lean against the lockers. My arms crossed and ready for the defensive, the look of conflation just dashed across his face as he studied my sudden position. Boy was he in for it. "Remember when I said ya were cute when ya mad? Ya lookin' terrifyin', ya aight?"

Chuckling as I angled my body downwards before looking right back on up, trying to see where this story would want to start with. "Oh, I'm fine. So is Shawn...you got him real good. Bruised jaw, black eye." The smile I managed to maintain as he clearly looked afraid, my nodding and sudden turn of my heel walking towards the front door of the school was priceless. Even when I heard his running steps behind me.   
"Ya can't believe what that asshole is tellin' ya. It ain't true."   
"It's better than what you've been telling me. Because you don't tell me anything."

Fixing my strap as I run down the steps to my bike, all while trying to manage this conversation that was about to end in a matter of seconds. Just as soon as I get on my bike.   
"I don't know how to tell ya, somethin's I can't tell ya. Not yet, it ain't what ya think it is, I promise."   
"Just leave me alone." He yelled back out to me, my name multiple times I wouldn't be surprised if the people in the classrooms could hear it. But when I didn't respond he yanked my arm backward to talk, boy was he in the wrong.

"Nah, we're gonna settle this. I didn't do nothin' wrong, Shawn's lyin'."   
"I didn't even tell you what he said." Letting my bag to the side of my bike, safely secured within the compartments before hopping on my bike. Pulling the helmet over my face in hopes of ending the conversation right then and there. 

But of course, he wouldn't let up. Instead he let his hand grab the front end, and in that instant did I rise up, the kick stand wasn't even remotely up in terms of my leaving. And as my finger point out to him, while the other rose up the visor. Did I angrily mutter, "Don't touch her." He understood in the instant, but even then he wouldn't back away enough for me to leave. Him following me home no doubt is enough to allow me to not venture back right away, instead, I had another place in mind. "What did he tell ya?"

He yelled at me, awaiting the answer as he held the pick up keys in his car. Shawn was going to have another fight on his hands, but on the way, he told me he didn't seem to mind or care. 

Guess I have to talk to Rachel at one point or another. "Blake please ya gotta-"   
"'Gotta' what?! Why don't you go run off with Julia, sounds like you two had fun at the bonfire!" Was the last thing I had yelled, and the defeat on his face said it all. Letting my visor slip down did I hide my expression from him, and for a good moment was I happy in not getting the visible see through one like Jarod suggested. 

Instead, I wondered back aways, just riding. I saw him running towards his pick up in an effort to beat me home. I managed to find my way back towards the park, whatever labyrinth of wooded areas need be. The twist and turns of the backroads made me wonder how everyone found this place, but alas. I made it.

With the fucking pickup just waiting for me. 

*

I gave him the one around and he beat me to it, he's one step ahead however he managed that. But him running out of the car and blocking the path with his truck was the last straw.   
"That the best idea right now?" I utter, clearly in shock of how he boxed me in right now. Of course, I could try and find my way around, but him eyeing each move I make do I skid my bike a bit further before shutting it off. Ripping off my helmet to place on my lap did I look to him, in clear disbelief of this trapping in.

"I need ya to listen."   
"I don't want to listen, the second I find something out you tell me." Him yelling out of his truck was a start, but the fact I yelled on back with equal power was enough to have him pace around me. "Was she at the party?" Was all I asked, scratching my nail against the matte black color before me, and he nodded. Still pacing but slower this time around.   
"...Listen. I said it before and I'll say it again, I don't care what you do. If you want to go bang your ex, fine. But don't expect me to just be here when you do it."   
"We didn't do nothin'. Blake I...I...Fuck. And she wasn't my girlfriend we just fucked."

My eyes widened, boy do love that word. The way he said it with such tone, almost in a rude manner that I surely did not like. Did I laugh, quite frankly I found this odd seeing him so careful with his words but still managing to mess up.   
"So if we ever did anything, that's what you'd call it? Fucking. Just in out done?"   
"No-"   
"Glad we didn't do anything more then bec-" 

His huffing and puffing had me stop mid-sentence, even when my voice was drifting off to the crying stage of all of this, I realized that nothing of this was my fault. Him trying to defend himself isn't being justified unless I let him talk, so my hand motioned for him to take the floor. "I never dated her, the two of ya ain't remotely the same. That's all we ever did, fuckin'. When I said I didn't know nobody like the way I like ya, I meant it." The watering of my eyes threated to break through, I can't do this any longer, trusting someone. I've done it before and it hasn't been easy, why should I give him a second chance.   
"And the fight?"   
"He was talkin' all this shit, that I fucked her at the party. I didn't Blake...I didn't take ya because I was still worried I scared ya from my house."

I shook my head, but the moment I looked up and my tears starting to stream down had him halt in that same drastic awakening that I was afraid of. He was in worry, the few strides it took for him to come to me wasn't what had me back away. It was him being too close.

"Move the damn truck."   
"We ain't done here."   
"I am. I've been done." He was begging me, his hands were the ones talking at this point. No longer was he verbally expressing himself, instead did he breathe the words out. Just barely above a whisper on the sound wave. "You threatened Shawn, he obviously saw something happen. Just tell me, get it over with!" My voice was more high pitched than I intended it to be, but he shook his head in defeat once more. 

In response to that did I wipe my eyes, the clear amount of hurt expressed on my face was enough to sidetrack both of us. "Just...Just tell me...."   
"We didn't fuck."   
"You probably did more that night than we did, just spit it out," I growled, he wouldn't budge. This back and forth thing wasn't going anywhere. So instead did the idea pop into my head, returning back to my bike did I risk the thought of letting it hit the trees. And instead, did I walk it through the side past his truck.

Until he blocked it with his damn body again. "She wanted to, I said no but Blake I couldn't-"   
"We're not dating, it's alright. Go call her up, screw her brains out. Do whatever you 'gotta' do. Just don't talk to me again."   
"I thought we-"   
"That we were dating?...I thought that too. Guess we're both in the wrong."

But this was when I lost the full control I managed to have left in me, when both of his hands gripped the front of my bike completely stopping my forward motion. Even pushing me back. "What part of 'don't touch', don't you understand?"   
"I was fuckin' out of it Blake, I knew I shouldn't have taken the shrooms. I..I thought she was you."  
"That's going to make any of this any better? That you thought it was me? And what did 'I' do?" 

Him shifting uncomfortably was enough to get the idea, we haven't done a lot in the range of anything really. He needed to find entertainment elsewhere, and his hand wasn't doing the trick. "Got the clear fucking picture, I'm going to go." 

"Blake please-" Me pointing in the general direction was bound to set him off, best way now is to laugh it on off now before crying about it. "It wasn't that, it was a handjob. It didn't go anywhere. I knew it wasn't ya."   
"It didn't go anywhere because Shawn interrupted!...Again. I don't care, go do some more shrooms, just don't-"   
As I was about to go back to my bike. Saying 'fuck it' to the nearby branches in the way. Was I yanked on back, and instead of anything more did he press his lips against mine. 

He was trying to tell me something he clearly couldn't say out loud, but the anger still had me push against him. Not in motion with it at all, but the second I managed to fake it did I push away. "...If you don't get how I'm feeling right now. Just imagine whatever you did or let Julia do. Is me letting Shawn do whatever to me." I whispered into his ear, that's when it was the fatal look, rising back up. The possessive darkened eyes that I am terrified of.   
"Please, I can't lose ya too."

He lost someone? What the hell does he mean by that- 

"I don't want no fuckin' pity right now, but I love everythin' about ya...Julia wasn't normal...She was an addict, if I wasn't around she would've overdosed. Alright? Got the hard stuff no problem, never did like seeing people into bigger assholes than they already were. Guess what I'm tryin' to say, I didn't want to compare. Cause there ain't no competition B, there ain't."

I felt the power that he tried to convert towards my empathy for the situation, Julia sounds like the mirror image of another friend. She wasn't in the home, she's the one who managed the deals I sold. But where is this pity he wants. "Ya want answers, and I know I owe em'. But she didn't even know a thing about me, and I didn't know nothin' about her. Nothin' about anythin' makes sense right now but I ain't about to lose ya over this."

Him holding his grip tightened around both my shoulder and waist so I wouldn't be tempted to move again. "I wouldn't call it fuckin', nah...But I want that title if that means-"   
"You want to date? After what happened over the weekend?"

"This time no more 'ya saved me' bullshit. I want the real thin', alright? Please, just...Just stay. Got too many people walkin' outta my life, I don't need ya to follow them." 

That's where the pity was meant to be placed, him not having a stable home is understandable. If what I think happens at that house is true, then everyone he has or loved. Or tried to love was gone, but one thing stuck out in my mind was the soul word from the beginning. 'I love everythin' about ya,' he said it.   
That is as close as I'm going to get. "I...I need time to-"   
"Ya told me I was the first person ya could depend on here, lemme fix that." No longer pressing against his hold did I come into complete in utter rest, making the smile shine brighter than it has before. And instead of managing it just hop on my bike and ride off away. I stayed in his arms, leaning in as he placed a single kiss onto my forehead.   
"Guess we got each other for this..."   
"'m sorry."   
"I know you are, but this time it's called cheating. And I ain't falling for nothing." Although the topic was serious, I managed to make him chuckle all around me.   
"Gotcha talkin' like me now, that's a sign if I sure seen one."   
"You know what is also a sign?" I mumbled the question, letting my hand slowly but surely. Creep up at the seem of his jeans, which in the cruelest way tormented me. 

The breath out of a swear had me take into consideration of how I should have torchere him to give me information. "Guess she can't give a good handjob, mind if I...?" The hissing of a 'yes' escaped his breath made me smile in content. I love this effect I have on him, how heated he was moments ago. Spitting everywhere as he cussed out the same word over and over again.

"You don't like blue balls as much as I don't like being lied to..."   
"Teasin' me 'gain, I'm gonna cum no matter whatcha do." He wasn't lying, hiding my chuckle into his chest, did I ever so gently reach into his boxers yet again. 

And as hard as he was, I loved seeing how humble he was in moaning up the storm.   
"Think you can make it into the truck?" I whisper so close to his ear, he nodded with his eyes closed.   
And as I removed my hand and drag him across the ways towards the truck. Did I hop on in, his hands guiding my waist down he single-handedly pushed my further into he row of seats. Searching for his length in the mist of his body pressing down on me. 

"Don't like fuckin' Shawn...He ain't who he says he is..." I chuckled, even more so as his kisses gingerly grew closer and closer to the edge of my own jeans. The look I had given him had his finger halt in that instance. 

"Wanna see ya squirm too. Ain't fun if one of us is-" Grabbing his hand before he reached in was a mistake because he could already feel the tension of the situation hitting my core.   
"You're gonna kill me, ain't ya?" He said, lifting my panties upwards as I felt it stretch with the given will he forced to it. 

The moan that escaped my lips without consent allowed me to reach back towards him. "I like those jeans on you."   
"Guess I gotta wear 'em more often if it's got ya feelin' like this."

If I said the words, for him to just do whatever he had in his mind. He would, he'd ask a million times if I was sure while doing so. I need for him to understand that it isn't alright to do that sort of thing. But my cruelness doesn't venture that far to stop whatever this is right here right now.

I want to see if he was telling truth. My hand returning to the shaft, pumping up and down in a vigorous momentum before ultimately he finished, he came without warning as well. Trying so hard to contain himself that he crumbled before I could tease him all the bit more.


	32. -PlanningAPurge-

It was moments until we managed to move, or rather I did. Leaving him in his truck to get my bike into the back bed, we still need to talk and I understand that. But what I don't understand is what in the world I was possibly thinking in going to that direction, it took me a minute. But once I had my hand connected to his, with my feet up on the dashboard in utter silence did it finally hit me.

I was trying to prove I was better than Julia, barely halfway home did I still get it. Especially when his eyes were burning to my side and I didn't say a word. "'m sorry. Really hope we work it out, Blake." That is when I smiled, his reasoning to it, or his understanding of my own expression as I tried to work through the situation had him speak up. And it wasn't the rotten tone I was given earlier when he was trying to explain everything, so in response did I hold onto his hand all the bit firmer, rubbing my thumb into his hold as I nodded.

Us returning to my house wasn't eventful, instead, I managed to get my bike cleaned and mostly taken apart to do a normal check of how much effort and love we need to put into these things to actually work. 

I regretted losing control with him, but there wasn't a part of me that felt the courage to tell him that. My mind was just ticking for the moments for him to go home, the aloneness allowed me not only to get my homework done. But a general relaxing day off for tomorrow, whoever or why ever they chose to take the Tuesday off smack in the middle of the week, I will never know. Guess the students do need a daybreak, but it's more for the teachers considering it's called 'professional development day.' 

Even when he left did I find myself still working on the bikes, again was it that consistency of trying to make myself better or distinct from Julia. A girl I never even met before, he's obviously attracted if he allowed it to get as far as it did. But he was so quick to blame it on a drug he shouldn't have taken, I made mistakes too. They were done with ease and didn't cause anyone else pain other than me.

The things I regret shouldn't be martyred by me being mad at Daryl, they should just be a reminder to not let my guard all the way down. And in this case was it a hundred percent my mission to keep it in the back of my mind. Even if that means releasing my anger at the last place I wish to cry.

The shower has been my relief station for as long as I can remember, nobody can bother or interrupt you. The burning water just relaxing my muscles after the long and boring math equations I just finished up, that and because it always me to blame the soap for getting into my eyes if it's too puffy. 

It wasn't tears of empathy that it normally is, it's anger, pure and general anger of having myself change the way act to be better than another. I hated it, I hated people who did it to win someone over. But the second I allowed myself the calming breath and stopped myself from shedding any more tears. Did I realize I was fine. If he does anything more in the senses with Julia or anyone else, it's done and over with. That is probably why he drew out the 'I thought we were dating card' but even that backfired on his own stance. If we were, which we are now in clarification of what so suddenly happened today...Then why would he do what he did?

Rubbing my eyes free from the burning sensation that might not have been numbed by how hot the water was, did I grab a hold of the shower's curtains and yank it aside. Being welcomed by the alarming amount of steam that managed to build up over my entire shower.

It was refreshing to know that there is more than one shower in this house, and there isn't a line, time limit or even scheduled to take one. I can go whenever need be.

Drying my body was the first task, but the time I managed to dampen my hair did I walk back to my room. Tight grey sweatpants and a light sweater so that the heat won't be so high tonight.

Entering my room with half my head in the towel did I hear the end of my ringtone sound beside my textbooks. Confused as I was did I look at it, the multiple mixed calls and texts were all from the same individual.

And if he didn't have any better timing, I began to hear the rusty old truck make it's way to the barn. Instead of responding did I find a heavier sweater to venture outside in, I wasn't about to call back when I know he's here.

It's just easier to talk face to face, raising the window up and off towards the back. It was my mother's mistake in wanting to close the back porch just the smallest bit, for it became a sturdy latter for myself, and now for Daryl, if his main reason in coming was to sleep over.

It was late, especially for him to just drop by unexpectedly. I could see him just leaning against his truck, phone up to his ear to begin the vibration in my pocket. And instead of answering did I decline, making him curse louder than I expected.

The voice wasn't husky, it wasn't calm. It was full-blown anger, meaning something must have happened. Especially for him to almost bang his fist to the car, but what had me smile in the moment. That he allowed himself to cool off, only lightly tapping the truck in regards to what it would have gotten.

It was then he saw me, making my way in my pajamas. "Shit did I wake you on up again? Didn't even think bout-"   
"No...No, I was in the shower." Most of my hair was hidden from the cold wind by the heaviness of my sweater, and he nodded along. He sensed the distance already, and I was already in worry of where this was going to go. 

I can probably sneak him up into my room, but we have to park his car into the barn. "Think I can stay...? I'll sleep in the truck if ya still mad at me, I just...I just can't go back on home." I nodded along, unlocking the barn door and pushing it all the way to the side to allow room for his truck. "Stepdad's home, we have to hide it." The smile set us back a few steps, but he managed to get into his car before I can even mutter the next word I was thinking.

Was I truly that evil to make him sleep out here?   
We're going to get past whatever sort of shit he pulled that night with time, not revenge. So when he slammed the door shut of his truck I just waited at the enterence for him to come on out and follow. 

The main issue being I cannot see in the dark for shit, and whatever was in his arms seemed to expand far enough in the back to be noticed. "You want to sleep out here?"   
"Ya uncomfortable, I get it. I done fucked up, just...Thanks for lettin' me stay." My question just alluded him as he was about to climb on into the bed of the truck. And this was the first time since the afternoon that I've touched him, and in doing so did he look into whatever was in my eyes at the moment to understand what I meant by this.

"I don't care how fucking mad I am at you, I'm not letting you sleep outside in the cold." The smile underwent a few seconds of hesitation before popping up indefinitely, and with my hands just resting at his chest did he sneak a kiss onto my cheek before leading us both out back into the cold air. 

"Whatcha doin' up so late anyhow?"   
"There's no school tomorrow," I mumbled, looking over at him and chuckling at his clear misunderstanding of what the school schedule is. I can just imagine him showing up and there is no cars what so ever in the parking lot. 

"Best be shittin' me...Ya sure? Ain't no prank?"   
"What...You want to graduate now?" He chuckled at my sheer joke, what he wanted to do with his schooling was up to him. Daryl never laid a finger on or against my school work, and I am happy with that outcome at the very least. Even if he didn't feel it was important, he allowed me to feel it.

"Nah, too far behind. Almost twenty and-" I stopped dead in my tracks, I didn't know he was nineteen already. Christ, I don't fucking know a thing about him. "What?"   
"I didn't know how old you are..."   
"Two years ain't nothin'." Continuing to place my foot in front of the other to make it into the house, did I manage to formulate a plan of how this will go. Most of the house is already asleep, so I doubt anyone will come tomorrow. Jarod's going to be the only one home, so if anything does happen. I think he'd understand more or less. That and Daryl gets to meet Mikey in the morning if that were to be the case. "It's not the number...It's me just not knowing. It feels like I don't know you at all."   
"I swear...Ima tell ya everythin' just...Just lemme figure out how to."

Nodding did I understand, it took me multiple sit-downs with the therapist to describe what happened. It isn't always about the way of someone saying it because when someone tells what happened they too relive the memory again and again. Another reason I hate the court system, it failed from factoring the one thing it was solely required to do. And that was to put a dangerous man behind bars.

As we made it closer to the house, did I manage to give the littlest ounce of directions in getting to the roof. It took me a few tries to get it right, especially in the dark. But looking down did I see he managed with little to no difficulty, the only issue was trying to get through the window. Having to step right on or over the couch within the wall, he almost but fell, losing his balance for a split second before getting back to his two feet.

Shaking his head to silently tell him I saw, did he look around both my desk and bed to see the horrid mess I had left it. All alined with textbooks and papers. "Sorry...I was studying." I whispered, trying to grab everything in the given order. And either hide it in folders and slap it onto my desk.

I did, however, find the sweatpants he wore last time over the weekend, and smiled in reaction to it as I still organized my mess. "Ya tired?" He saw my sneak of a yawn that suddenly escaped my mouth and I nodded in defeat. And in that did he grab my laptop and try and help conserve time to get the bed cleared.

With everything under control for the decent moment, did I go and lock the door. Everyone in the house usually knocks anyhow. But I didn't want to take any chances, so when I looked on back to Daryl just sitting on the side of the bed he usually takes. He chuckled, making his hole body rock back and forth. "You aren't in the clear yet Dixon." I pointed to him, his smile instantly went away in a moments time, nodding vigorously as he understood.   
"I never had no girlfriend before, that sounds bad B, but it's true...Just been with 'em, nothin' more." 

I didn't look at him, I couldn't. Not in the first few moments after it drifted into the surrounding of my room, pulling the covers over did he too follow in pursuit, adjusting the pillow to his liking. And I can't admit to myself let alone him, that when he leaves I snuggle close to inhale his scent further. 

He smelled like tobacco and woods, and there was nothing more I craved than that. "I never seen ya mad before..." Sighing to turn off the lights, and the littles bit of glowing came from whatever sort of technology I didn't shut off properly, but I couldn't care at the moment either. I was tired and angry. "Can I ask what happened?"   
"Got in a fight with Merle, fuckin' asshole...He likes ya ya know. Can't say that 'bout most people I hang 'round with."   
That was the first honest part I laughed at, Merle actually took favor in me. So I nodded, opening my arms for him just resume the position from last time he was here. But instead did he pull my entire being onto him. Letting rest solely onto his body. "Let's not get into any more fights...Alright?"   
"Yes ma'am." He was slow in responding, guess he was tired as well. So instead of staying awake for a conversation I don't think I can fathom. I instead close my eyes, snuggling close to his hold as I feel myself. "When ya said that shit about Shawn doin' the same thing to ya...I can't loose ya neither Blake...I love ya." His whisper was so soft, so quick that I was having trouble depicting if I was asleep or still awake.

*

The amount of movement going on around me had me shift back and forth to return to the comfortable position I had, but no matter what I had done. It didn't work. Instead I opened my eyes to the sweat and utter view of Daryl changing before me, and rather than say anything...

I just stared open eyedly before him. It took him a good moment, for him to put his belt on, grab his jacket. But once he made it towards the window to look on back I began to shake my head. "Didn't wanna bother ya on ya day off."   
Singling out my pointer finger did I just inch him to come on back to me, and as he sat on the open side of the bed did I rise up to level with him. 

"What did I say in the woods before...You can't bother me." He found his distraction by interlocking my free hand with his, pressing deeply through making me smile. While my other hand just rubbed my eye in hopes of waking up entirely. "Don't tell me you were just going to leave."   
"I got some errands to run if ya wanna come. Can't say they're legal tho." Letting my elbow rest on my now risen knee as I stared on off towards him, for some reason I thought he was joking. But he wasn't, not even in the least bit. "It's a date." I laughed, clearing the air for the decent portion of a second as he allowed me to rise to my feet. And in that instant did I go towards my closet, trying to find something to wear. So I grabbed my regular solid black tank top and matched it with a red flannel. It wasn't cold, the high sixties if nothing else. And the long flannel kept me warm in colder weather, and with it did I find my ripped skinny jeans and tall boots. 

I don't think we're taking my bike, but I've grown used to the tall boots that I can't even begin to find normal socks to wear sneakers with anymore. Looking into the mirror did I see that falling asleep in yesterday's makeup did me the littlest bit of justice, just taking off the edges did it turn into a decent smoking eye that I was forever thankful for.

Opening my closet door did he turn around, his eyes might have wandered but until they met up with my squinting eyes was he doomed in knowing what he did wrong. I don't know how long I can feel against him for what happened or what he allowed to do.

"What are we doing exactly?" I asked, grabbing both my phone off the charger and the small wrist purse from my draw. But he still didn't answer my question until my eyes locked back onto his. "Gotta stop back at the house, just doin' some drop-off and shit. Ya don't have to-" My eyes spoke for me again, I trust him. But if I sit in here all day I'll just be thinking about what he's doing, and how his actions aren't bothering me but doing something else.

It's a constant strain of figuring out what I'm thinking, but he reluctantly nodded along. I want to see what he does, otherwise, I'd end up either studying or working on the said bike that we only have a few weeks left to complete.

Even though Jarod was the only one home, he understood going down the way he came up. And instead of following, I went down the normal way in hopes of grabbing something to eat on the day he is straining to work through.

Running down the stairs am I greeted with Jarod sitting down at the large kitchen island just eating his cereal while reading a book. "You ready for midterms?"   
"I only have four."   
"How the fuck did you-" If it was the look I managed to give both these men to have them stop speaking, or the constant flow of thoughts coming at a slower pace did he understand. "Didn't think I was smart?"   
"Nah I did...Ryan's still bummed you didn't go with him to the dance." Shaking my head into the fridge, do I grab a water bottle and an apple from the center of the island right before him.

His questionable eyes continued to wander throughout it all, but as I connected my two fingers together for a salute did he stop me. "Mom's wondering when you're gonna go with her to find a dress." Sighing, all while scratching my eye brow with my free hand. Fuck. I completely forgot. "How...How formal does this thing get?" He chuckled, wiping his face with a napkin before going off to a picture in the living room. Seeing my mom in a long red formal gown honestly worried me to the point of disbelief. "You can take Ryan, make up for the-"   
"Can I go with someone in the army? Or is that wrong for Michael being my stepdad sort of thing?"

I stopped him dead in his tracks to ask him my own question, and in doing that did his eyes spark up. "Who were you thinking of?"   
"Jeremy, he was really nice when I volunteered."

The expression and overall reaction of Jarod agreeing to this entire thing was alarmingly easy, especially when they've been friends since they were in diapers. Doubt it'd be too much trouble not to ask.

It's just me telling Daryl.

Fuck.

My mind was completely racing as I made my way to the barn, I didn't tell Jarod where I was going. And he honestly didn't give a shit to question it. Taking the smallest bite of my apple did I just catch Daryl crouched down by my bike. "Dixon..." I breathed, still chewing on my apple. Coming around behind him and just gently waking him upside the head, I told him not to play with my bike. "Just wanted to look at the engine...Gotta say, Merle's a lil jealous." Again did I laugh, he's been eyeing it the day I met him. Even outside the dinner when I first moved here, sharing a smoke with him as he picked up that order. 

God...It feels like yesterday.

"What did ya brother want?" He asked, wiping his hands of the free rag on whatever bench he found it on. So piecing together what is going on at the military base isn't even an event for myself. It's more of supporting my step-dad in his speech or whatever it might be.   
"I have this thing at the army base to go to...It's like a ball- Hey! Step dad's a general, I have to be supportive somehow."

The second I mentioned what it was did he allow the smile to escape his lips, but mentioning the general was the honest mistake in that. "He's a general?! Boy, we've done fucked up if ya get caught huh?"   
"Ha! Now you're worried?" Guess he didn't know the position Michael was ever in, being in the military is one thing. Leading thousands upon thousands is completely different, on top of that did he sleep over.

As we loaded ourselves into the truck did we drive on off to his house, again, I haven't been here since the sudden incident. And when he told me to stay in the car I wasn't about to budge, only I was bored out of my mind as he counted whatever it is he needed. 

Propping my feet up on the dashboard did I see Merle come on out of the house, a quick wave made him lightly jog his way on over. "Hell ya doin' back?" He questioned, pointing off to the house did I respond. "Errands, whatever that means." He let his entire arm extend to hold onto the truck, I felt wrong to just stay sitting but at the same time...I wasn't about to leave the car. 

"Ya be careful right? Ma baby brother has already been in too many fights when he don't needa be."   
"Heard you two got into a fight, everything okay?" The ringer of a chuckle left his throat in a rusty way, the familiarity just sounded drastic in the back of my mind.   
"That's where he ran off too?...Figured as much. Ya. Pops broke his bow, real shit feast last night...Ya want one?"

In the mist of his explanation did he light a cigarette. But I was so caught up in the littlest bit of information that I missed the opportunity and he asked again, taking out the cigarette from his mouth and gestured before him. "Ain't no gentlemen of me not offer on my own damn property." 

Opening the door as gently as I could do I take the offered stick, lower down to the lighter. Breathing in the toxic fumes that rendered me relaxed, even more so to sit on the hood of the truck. Having him right below me as he waited on out. "How bad's the bow?"   
"Ain't a cheap fix. He's pretty mad about it...And that fight at the bonfire, ya missed out princess." Flicking down the cigarette beside my leg onto the driveway gravel. Letting out a pathetic laugh in response did I breathe in one last time before giving my conclusion of it all. 

"Yeah...Didn't know there was a party."   
"Aw shit...Listen, 'im and Jules ain't nothin' no more...He's never brings nobody home with 'im 'fore, let alone teachin' 'em how to shoot." My eyes widened, this was the clarification I needed. Merle knew exactly what was going on and how to say it, shaking my head was the only thing I could manage at the moment. 

"He's my baby brother, all I got. And when I say he likes ya Blake. He likes ya. I give 'im too much shit for being a pussy, but hey. Ya ain't so bad."   
"I'm guessing he didn't tell you about the deer then?" 

His eyebrows connecting together was he genially confused, guess they didn't have too much time to talk with Daryl off doing whatever and Merle being...Merle. Guess they don't talk too much. "He was teaching me how to shoot, over to that set up you have over there. When we were walking back I saw the deer."   
"Get the fuck outta here. Shit why the hell didn't he tell me?"

Shrugging did drop the inch of my cig to the floor, letting the smoking just die on with it.   
"I think I shot in the wrong spot...I don't know. I met your uncle, took care of it right away." Again did he stumble, the feeling of being out of place right now was creeping in. Especially when he looked at me like I am crazy. 

"And I thought the two of ya were just screwin' around in the beginnin'...But to be fair. I metcha first." Rolling my eyes back into my head did we share another laugh in memory. Him demanding another round of beers, even if Daryl gave me his ID back in the dinner would it have said 'over twenty one' because of how fake it actually is. 

"How much does the bow cost to fix?"   
"One Franklin, don't got any savin' to go and get it fixed." As he was talking, did I push myself down to the ground. Stomping out my cigarette that refused to die out before heading to my wallet, I didn't have a Franklin. But I did have two S. Grants waiting out for him. Folding the two bills up did I place it onto the truck. "Princess I can't take ya money."   
"How are you two going to hunt without it?" Him hesitating in taking it wasn't the expected reaction, but never the less took it and shoved it into his pocket. 

"Thanks sweetheart. I'ma pay ya back when I can." I nodded, he seemed excited. More upbeat than before when the conversation started. But the second the front door of the house opened, having Daryl skip the given few steps as he made it to ground level. A large black duffle bag in hand. 

He didn't say a word, instead, he just nicked his head forward for me to return to the car. And as Daryl moved passed his brother, Merle gripped his forearm to stop him in his tracks. Reaching into his back did he take out the damn pistol. The one I believe I held before.

Maybe this was a bad idea.

As he slid his way into the driver's seat, did he so cleverly place the large duffle bag back behind the seat before fixing his entire position to accumulate the added weight of whatever was in the bag. "Ya take care now girly!" Offering the brother a small before we began to back up to the main road, all I heard Daryl mutter from his breath was 'asshole' as he continued to round about the car. "What happened?" I asked, and his small little twitch of shaking his head already alarmed me for half the story I was about to hear.   
"My bows broke, don't gotta enough money to go on and get it fixed. Probably why he offered ya a smoke." He sounded more than hurt with the entire subject, he took favor in his bow. And I understand that entirely, childhood memories of just stuffed animals or whatever I found valuable as a child being ripped and torn apart in front of me.

Guess it was natural for it to stop being objects, than to people. 

"Ya thinkin' of what ya want for a tattoo?" Nodding my head, did he looked at me to continue. But what else was I going to say, I have an idea but not the fledged design. "You know the drawing on my bike?...I was thinking of getting that on my back." The sudden approval had me smile at the thought, that and because we were going to be able to stay in Atlanta for the given few days leading up to getting it. "Does it hurt?"   
"I think ya will be able to handle it. Ain't so bad." 

It was silent from there out, although the given static of a song trying to make it's way through the radio before us. Even when he hummed through the song, seeing his hands tap at the wheel. I was surprised, shocked even that he knew the actual song. "Don't like the song?" Was all Daryl could question, his hand resting against the window beside him as he leaned on into it. Much like I was doing across from him, not knowing how long the drive necessarily is.   
"Haven't heard it in a while."   
"One day we just gotta...Just gotta clear the air, drink till the fuckin' moon and talk bout everythin'." I sighed, it was going to be hard to retain the information. But I feel somewhere among it all, will it come out anyway with it. "Wish we didn't have to do it that way..."   
"Ain't our fault...Throw in some weed too." Rolling my eyes at his obsessive idea of the fact that I'm more open when my mind is elsewhere. Who's isn't?

That's when the truck took a sudden turn into a parking lot. Not having been here before did I look at the tall neon sign that read 'Liquor and beer.' Guess it's all sorts of shit today. "Be right back." Nodding, did I watch him enter in the store. His angel wings rocking side to side as he posed himself like the owner of the place, I smiled at his level of confidence. That and because he has a gun under his belt.

It took the given half a second for me feel the curiosity of opening the bag behind my seat, but every time someone was walking in or out of the store did they have a clear view of what was going on. So instead did I just kick my feet high on up to the dashboard and take out my phone, playing a mindless game that was already downloaded. But it was quick to trail off to the damn military ball that is being hosted by my stepfather. This would be the first real event and I am terrified.

Just hope I get to go with Jeremy, sure that will be a doubtful idea but make me feel less on edge. But even then, when I was focusing on something for a solid minute did he return. And with cigarettes. My relief of a sigh drifted as he ripped open the box and threw it to his feet, handing one off to me. "Looked like ya could use a couple." He was focusing on driving about so I took the liberty of finding a lighter within the confinements of it all...


End file.
